SUVs Rammed Down our Throats

Another horror story for Halloween...

RAM are going to launch an SUV.

Here's the Car+Driver story.

RAM make trucks and big things.  Unusually for a Brit, I have driven one.  It looked like this one:

Only wasn't missing a hubcap.

I suppose if Ferrari can do an SUV and Rolls Royce can do an SUV then everyone will want to cash in.

This will just be a rebadged other Stellantis model.

And it won't be infesting our shores.

I hope.

It'll just be America.

And they've already got their own horror story.

Crashed Out!

We know that I like to hear about stupid criminals - my most recent post covered one.

And I do like a Norfolk story.

So one that combines them both is very welcome.

Now technically the guy in that Ferrari isn't a criminal (The Police said no further action would be taken) - but his driving certainly is.  And it looks a lot like he was speeding when he lost control on the bend.

The BBC have enjoyed putting out several crash videos lately and a later one from today is quite horrific.  It involves a motorcyclist and presumably a two-fingered salute (or middle-fingered salute) which led to him being forced off the road and thrown over a bridge suffering serious injuries.  The guilty party was was jailed for 4 years and 10 months.

They have also shown this story - looks just as horrific although the injuries weren't as bad.  The drunk criminal in that case got away with a suspended sentence which unfortunately doesn't mean that they hanged him.

The next story, from 4 days ago, is very unusual in that the guilty party is a Volvo driver.  He (or she) has driven into a bus lane that has "No Entry" signage at the start and a spiky trap at the end.  It looks quite tame next to the other videos.

Meanwhile, drive.com.au have a story that involved a crash, may or may not involve a criminal and, surprisingly considering where it took place, does not involve a video.

It involves this picture:

Two people were injured - that may be them lying down in the front of the picture.

The story, headlined "Electric BYD with teen inside crashes into Myer from shopping centre display" is here.

Why are they telling us it is electric?  Could it not have happened in a petrol or diesel car?  I think it could as long as the car was an automatic although you may have heard the engine start up.  Anyway, all BYD cars sold in Australia (and here come to that) are electric.

Presumably, someone gave a car key to a 14-year old boy - or just left it in the car.

The whole scenario was inevitable though, as soon as the those two crash-test dummies decided to visit the perfume department.

Three Weeks Worth of News

I didn't post anything last week so here's something that tickled my fancy last week, something that tickled my fancy this week and something that will  tickle my fancy next week.

From last week, it's my favourite American car site Car+Driver with this story about Ford hoping to be able to get their vehicles to repossess themselves when the payments are not forthcoming.

From this week, it's my favourite Australian car site with this story of a couple of men old enough to know better, one Dutch and one Belgian who appear to have hired a couple of Ferraris in Italy that they clearly didn't have the skills to drive at speed.  This is a very spectacular video and they will be picking bits of debris from that swimming pool for years to come:

From next week, I give you the new series of Wheeler Dealers.  It looks like they are doing a Triumph Dolomite Sprint - well, they were never going to do a 1500HL like I used to own - but a Sprint is good too.  The Facebook Trail is here.  Surely they can't be serious?  Well they are.  And don't call me Shirley.

Broke

It looks like Fox News are getting uppity about Bloggers posting links to their stories so if these links are broke, you'll have to search their site if you want to learn more.

Anyway, talking of broken things and brakes:

According to Fox News, Charles Leclerc has "wrecked" a $1.5 million vintage Ferrari.

This vintage Ferrari:

Niki Lauda's from the 1974 F1 Season.

I put "wrecked" in quotes since what he has actually done is effectively backed it into a barrier damaging the rear wing a lot - and probably other stuff but he still drove it away from the incident.

The cause was brake failure.

As opposed to failure to use the brakes:

That spectacular crash, also reported by Fox, HAS actually wrecked the car...

...and a bit of a convention centre.

Nobody in the building was injured and the driver, miraculously, is in a stable condition in hospital.  He told the police that he had lost control of the brakes - more like he hit the accelerator instead of the brake.  Then he hit a concrete planter instead of the brake.  Then he hit a convention centre instead of the brake.

I Fancy Tina Fey

 

Who wouldn't?

Well, I suppose a homosexual gentleman might not.  Although I have two gay friends who don't know each other and both fancy Kate Bush so who knows?

But that isn't what this post is about.

Women always claim to be attracted to men with a sense of humour.

I don't believe that.  I'm always considered my self quite funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word not the "peculiar" sense of the word) but women have never thrown themselves at me.

Now, while it is possible that I am not funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word), I really don't wish to countenance that idea.

Besides, I've noticed that women actually tend to go for tall, handsome men, irrespective of sense of humour.

I, on the other hand, generally find myself fancying women who are in to their cars - Vicki Butler-Henderson, Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd and, more recently, Helen Stanley:

I would even forgive the tattoos.

I do also fancy Nigella Lawson but of you type "Nigella Lawson car" into Google, it wants to take you to "Nigella Lawson carrot cake"

Don't put vegetables into cakes!

Anyway, to finally get to the point, Tina Fey has finally bought her first car. Car+Driver have the story under the annoying headline:

Tina Fey Bought Her First Car during Lockdown, and It Might Surprise You

Normally I wouldn't touch a story like that because it would be some crap piece of click-bait but I like Car+Driver, I like Tina Fey and I like cars.

The gist of the story is that she bought a white Subaru Forrester - a fine enough car that I have no strong views about one way or another but I suppose it is a bit boring.

I was more shocked by Jimmy Fallon's admission that he had never heard of it.

Car+Driver misquote her a bit saying "her husband urged her to buy something fun, like a Mini Cooper or a Jeep (this is the point in the interview when it becomes clear that the Fey household is an expert-free zone when it comes to car shopping)"

According to Tina, her husband suggested "a Mini Cooper or something exciting like a Jeep or a BMW or something" I suppose a Jeep could be exciting depending in where you take it and some BMWs are certainly exciting but I think I'd have suggested a Ferrari or Aston Martin.

But she isn't a car person.

And yet I still fancy her.

I think it could be that she is a very funny lady (in the "ha ha" sense of the word)

This Morning I Overtook two Ferraris and a Lambo...

 

...and a Porsche and a Nissan GTR....

...and a couple more Ferraris and Lambos.

Some of them were travelling backwards!  Here's the proof:

We Don't Have a Pink Bathroom...

...so we don't buy the Financial Times.

I also don't subscribe to it online.

But fortunately for those if us with a thirst for news, Car+Driver are reporting the FT story about Ferrari suing a charity over the use of a name that they decided to use despite the charity having it first.

It sounds a bit like when Posh Spice tried to stop Peterborough United from trademarking the nickname "Posh".

She lost.

The name Ferrari is fighting for is Purosangue which translates as "Pure Blood".  This should be popular with racists.

Every man and his dog is speculating what the Ferrari SUV will look like, just type "Ferrari SUV" into Google Images:

Here's my guess:

It comes from this story which points out that they all look much of a muchness.

Still, I guess that ALL car companies have to have an SUV in their line-ups nowadays.

Good job Reliant aren't still around:

Mickey Mouse Car II

Well, Disney anyway.


Saw this in Autoguide today about a new Ferrari patent.


They are suggesting an F1-style Halo bar on the windscreen:

Apart from the obvious visibility issues and the ridiculously low probability of a chunk of something hitting the middle of the windscreen, all I can think of is this:

27 Not Out?

Series 27 episode 1 of Top Gear has aired.

The one I was hoping not to like.

Well, it wasn't awful.  The relationships between the three presenters is promising and given that I like all three of them then I suppose that was always likely to be the case.

The BBC are bigging it up as you would expect.  They say that the critics give it "warm praise."  But then they open up that story to the Gammons who infest the BBC News Website with the predicted result.  I do hope that anyone who reads the comments on BBC News doesn't think that they are indicative of British attitudes.

So what did I think?  I enjoyed the Ethiopia bit.  I also enjoyed the Ferrari and McLaren bit but the fact Chris had to do it just shows that we have gone from three car experts (James, Jeremy & Richard) down to two and a half car experts (Chris, Rory & Matt) down to one car expert (Chris) - this will hamper what Top Gear is meant to be and also hamper the discussions within the banter.

Based on episode 1, I am willing to give it another go - I'll probably last the series but I don't see myself being bowled over.

Ring Me Sometime

The F1 Season has started again.

I saw something about practice on the TV schedule today.

I'm waiting for the BTCC to restart.  (April 8th if you're interested)

F1 is definitely losing appeal.  And making the cars uglier isn't going to help.  But they have to do it - if it saves just one life it'll be worth it.

I'm talking about The Halo Device:

Autocar have an article on it here.

 

I suppose when you see it, the word that is supposed to come to mind is "safety".

 

It's probably something to do with how my mind works, but when I see it, the word that comes to mind is "thong".

Does 200 Come With Fried Rice?

Chrysler 200 that is.

Looks like a local chip shop want to buy out Fiat Chrysler. 

You can't see that chip shop from space.  Various news sources have the story.  Here's what BBC Business have to say.

 

It would appear, though, that the Chinese are more interested in the Jeep part of Fiat Chrysler.

But they aren't ruling out a bid for the whole FCA she-bang.  If they'd gone for it last year, they could have got Ferrari too.

 

I chose the BBC story to link to because they picked up on something I had also thought - I can't see Mr.Trump being too happy with China owning a major US Car Corporation as well as a large chunk of the national debt.

 

Here's a Jeep toy that might make him feel better about it. 

As Mork would say...

Nano Nano.

Cool As FXXK

The Arctic Circle is pretty cool.

Or downright freezing.

And that is where they are testing the next iteration of the Black Cab.

Why? - I hear you ask.

Why? - I also hear BBC Transport correspondent Richard Westcott ask.

But he doesn't actually answer the question in that video.

Although he does in this article.

There are two reasons apparently:

• the manufacturer tests all new vehicles in extreme temperatures to see how they perform.
• it wants to sell it in polluted cities all over the world, including Moscow, which can get a little chilly in the winter.

This cab won't contribute to the pollution due to it being electric - with a little range-extender to keep it going.

Anyway, black cabs in cold places brings us, rather neatly, round to the new series of Top Gear:

and Rory Reid driving a black cab, in minus temperatures, with no heating, in Kazakhstan.

Chris Harris got to drive a Ferrari FXXK at Daytona

 

and boy did he enjoy it.

But, if only 40 were built, why did his have a number 54 on the side?

And nobody mentioned Chris Evans.

I thought they could have had a light-hearted dig like The Grand Tour boys did.  Chris himself mentioned how the newspapers said it was "better without the annoying one".

There was a mention in Extra Gear about the orginal test track being back with "all tarmac" but nothing was said about Mr.Evans.  There was a noticeable cheer from the studio audience when it was announced that the original track was back.

I agree with the studio audience and, much as I do like Chris Evans, I agree with the newspapers that it was "better without the annoying one".

Or maybe just a little cooler.

Tesla Time-Up?

Watch out Nikola, there's a new kid on the block.

Another famous physicist:

He may not look as debonair, but he does do an impressive cage:

This is the news that Faraday Future are coming to take on Tesla in the posh electric car market.

Only thing is, nobody really knows who they are.

Here is their Website.

If you look on their website, you will see that they have poached several senior Tesla staff.  Or maybe they haven't - maybe this is a secret offshoot project of Tesla themselves.

They call themselves FF - like the Ferrari - could it be the Fiat/Chrysler Group?

Most speculation, like in this article, backed up by stories from various news sources who charge you to read them, is that it is Apple who are behind this.

After all, on the FF recruitment page, they ask you to "apply" to them.

Sounds very Appley to me.

On a more sensible note, Faraday Future & Apple are both in California (albeit different ends of the State) and it does look like Apple have been hiring hundreds of people to work on their new car slated for a 2019 launch.

Meanwhile, we await the news of Alessandra Volta teaming up with Microsoft:

Who's The Boss?

That was quite a good series in its day - especially the character Mona played by Katherine Helmond.  And isn't Judith Light scary now as the old biddie in Dallas?  This was much better than the British version, The Upper Hand.  There seems to be new version of this now called Melissa & Joey.

 

But that's besides the point.

 

A lot of Ferrari employees may now be asking the question, Who's the boss?

 

This follows on from today's news (in Autocar for example) that Ferrari are being split off from the parent Fiat-Chrysler organisation - or FCA as it's known by its friends.  Ferrari will be a stand-alone company.

 

It feels like only 23 days ago that I was reporting on the changes at Ferrari with FCA boss Sergio Marchionne taking Ferrari over from Luca di Montezemolo.

Today, FCA currently owns 90 per cent of Ferrari, while the other 10 per cent is owned by the son of Enzo Ferrari.  Apparently,10% of FCA's interest in Ferrari will be offered to public investors. The remainder will be distributed among FCA shareholders.

 

So FCA shareholders will own 81% of Ferrari and more if they buy some of the publicly offered shares.

 

So will they be happy for Sergio to continue in charge?

 

Interesting times.

 

Meanwhile Fiat are getting involved with interesting cars:

This is from this caradvice.com.au story.  It's a much more interesting story.  Possibly because it doesn't talk about shareholdings.  But probably because it discusses a concept premiered at the Sao Paulo motor show in Brazil.  It's a coupe SUV which I shouldn't like given how much I hate the looks of the BMW X6.

 

But this one, the FCC4, is longer than an X6 and not as tall - and looks really cool.  Will the Brazilians go nuts for it?  I don't see why not.

 

But if they don't, blame the boss.  Whoever that is.

Car Body Language

It's all change at Ferrari.

Alonso is out and Vettel is in.

But, more significantly, di Montezemolo is out and Marchionne is in.

Both these changes seem to be F1 related.

Well, obviously the first one is!  It is covered in this week's news from many sources including The BBC who also covered the news last month about Sergio Marchionne taking over the chairman's chair from Luca di Montezemolo.  As can be seen in that article, there is speculation that Luca's departure is him being pushed out due to disagreements with Marchionne.  These will be partly down to the very poor recent performance of the Ferrari F1 team.  I don't see swapping Alonso for Vettel altering things there - the problem is the car not the driver - I reckon Alonso is the better of the two albeit not by a lot.

Anyway, as boss of Fiat-Chrysler, the parent company of Ferrari, Marchionne has the power to take over and that is what is happening - on October 13th to be precise.

Which leaves things a little awkward for them at the Paris Motor Show this week.  Paris saw the last ever Ferrari press conference for Luca with Sergio there to "support" him.  Andrew Frankel of Autocar covered it in two articles first factually, then artistically.

The first article reports the usual corporate press-conferencey stuff - the future direction of the company etc. and does have the little dig where Marchionne claimed his most important priority was to return Scuderia Ferrari to the top of Formula 1, a goal he described as a "non-negotiable objective."

The second article looks at how the two men appeared at the press-conference:

The outgoing boss is enthusiastic and open while his successor looks bored off his trolley and decidely uncomfortable.

 

It makes an interesting read.

 

And I know who will be the happier man on October 13th.

The Pirelli World Challenge

Autoguide today are recommending that I watch the Pirelli World Challenge racing series.

It has to be said, it looks very tempting.

Their Website is here.

It also looks a bit confusing with lots of different classes of car competing - a bit like the BTCC used to be.

And what's with this "world" business - it's only in America.  I know the World Series has an excuse because it was sponsored by The World newspaper but this seems to be sponsored by Cadillac - the coverage at least.

The lineup seems very impressive, especially the GT3 class:

They have Ferraris... 

...and McLarens... 

...and Lambos and Audis and non-European stuff too like Acuras and Caddies.

 

And, like the BTCC, and unlike F1, the coverage is free to watch.

 

So I decided to give it a go...

Bugger.

 

Never mind, BTCC starts this weekend too and it looks like another brilliant season with SEVEN champions competing.

Quiet News Day?

Most of the car sites today, like Autocar for example, are going with the announcement of the Vauxhall Insignia Country Tourer - a four-wheel-drive family estate car.

Not particularly interesting, even for someone like me who drives a four-wheel-drive family estate car.

It's brown:

 The Telegraph have been running two non-stories since the weekend.

A pointless review of the first episode of series 20 of Top Gear.  Pointless because it is written by someone more interested in repeating the fact that he is "not the target audience" for the show and then telling us that he didn't enjoy it.  Well, what a surprise!!!  Prat.  Some of the reader comments are suitably scathing though.

Their second non-story promises us the Top 10 Long-lived cars still on sale.

Only it doesn't.

I was expecting a list of cars that haven't really changed much in many years like the Land-Rover Defender or Porsche 911 (OK the 911 has changed a lot, but it still looks the same).

But no.  What we were given were a bunch of car names that have lived on - like the Ford Fiesta.  The early Fiestas bore no relation whatsoever to the new ones.  Pointless journalism.


Meanwhile, Autoguide have got hold of the story that "Ferrari is limiting its employees to only three in-house recipients per email."

This will cause problems if Fernando Alonso wants to send an amusing jpeg of a cat to Felipe Massa and all of their mechanics.

He will probably have to send the email several times to groups of three each time.

I'm not convinced that Ferrari have really thought this through.

Drivel 2022

Sounds like a desktop computer doesn't it? Maybe from the mid-1990s.

It's actually a GM plan for the future prosperity of the Vauxhall Opel Group.

It is outlined in a story in Autocar yesterday. The article tells us that "Under the plan, which was approved six weeks ago by GM's main board,
 Vauxhall-Opel will cut fixed costs by $500m by mid-decade, launch 23 new models and 13 new engines between now and 2016 and start building non Opel-Vauxhalls" and it "will also expand and implement the recently announced alliance with PSA." That follows on from my story a few months back in which I voiced my concerns about a possible merger with PSA, the French group behind Citroën and Peugeot.

It appears that this is the latest of many rescue/restructuring plans but there's not too much management-speak - apart from “Vauxhall 
is an example of best practice” and “not to include hope as part of the strategy" which are not too bad really when you think about it. I've checked out the photos of GM Europe
 president Steve Girsky and vice CEO Thomas Sedran and neither of them look like this manager:

or, if you happen to be American...

so there's a bit of hope there to go with the strategy.

The new car sales situation is very mixed at the moment - looking at the BBC Global Car Industry News page today is showing Ford taking on 2200 workers in America because of increased sales with BMW and Rolls Royce reporting record sales. There are also reports of increased car sales in both Japan and the UK.

However, they also report Honda laying of 800 UK staff blaming weak demand across Europe and that Ferrari sales slump in Italy. Perhaps more significantly for this item, Peugeot Citroen hit by 'crisis' in European car sales.

I live quite close to a Vauxhall factory and know people who work there. The GM management-speak here does seem positive and they do seem to have a 10-year plan which is unusually forward thinking these days.



Oh, my eyesight! It says "DRIVE! 2022"

Ferrari Dayto-forget

I heard this story out of Japan on Radio 2 this morning but it wasn't on the BBC Website (probably will be by the time you read this) but Bloomberg had it. Nobody badly hurt though. It was caused by a sixty-year-old who lost control on a wet motorway. He's now under threat of prison.

Maybe it'll make this bimbo from this story in July feel a bit better though. No, it's not Patsy Kensit, it's some anonymous French woman who drove a Bentley into four other prestigious cars in Monaco. And because she was trapped inside the car and it was a convertible, she was soon surrounded by tourists with cameras and camera-phones. There are hundreds of photos all over the Web.

Like this one...

It's the Pits for Alonso...

...but good news for Sebastien Vettel! Good news for Sébastien Loeb as well but that's another story. It looks to me like Alonso was effectively scuppered by a mistake by Vettel's Red Bull team-mate Mark Webber.The story is covered by BBC News here so I'll not go into too much detail. Suffice it to say that Mark Webber clipping the barrier with his offside-right-rear wheel and causing a significant spark was not planned but it probably led to him being concerned enough about his tyres and wheel to pit earlier than planned.

This then spooked Ferrari into bringing in their drivers for fresh rubber.

This brought Webber (and the Ferraris) back into the race among traffic they would have been well clear of if they'd waited. Webber got stuck for a lap behind Jaime Alguesari who would have been in a bit of a dilemma due to the incestuous nature of F1 with his Red Bull sponsorship and Ferrari engine and no obligation to let Webber past since they were fighting for track position.

This left Vettel and the Mclarens of Hamilton and Button to take the podium positions and Vettel to take the Championship.

My prediction last November that Jenson Button will not be World Champion in 2010 came true last week when his mathematical chances were destroyed although he did finish up a creditable fifth including a couple of good race wins.

To my question last December, "Could 2010 be the best Formula 1 Season Ever?" I would say, "Despite a poor season for Schumacher, it's certainly been the best in a very long time."

2011 could be even better though.