Carr Show?

I keep referring back to this post from 2018.

I was, and still am, upset by this choice of presenters for my beloved Top Gear.

So I was interested to learn, from none other than the BBC themselves, of the return of Top Gear.

Shame they don't seem to know who the new line-up will be.

The Sun seem to think one will be Jimmy Carr.

I like Jimmy Carr.

• He's very funny.
• He did very well in the Suzuki Liana.
• He got an electric Aston Martin DB6.

Although...

• He did a gig in Saudi Arabia and
• HE ISN'T A MOTORING PRESENTER 

Another name being touted is Joe Marler.

I like Joe Marler.

• He has a very dry but funny sense of humour.
• He makes a good air freshener

Although...

I'm a Welsh Rugby fan and

HE ISN'T A MOTORING PRESENTER 

 

If these are chosen, it doesn't bode well - especially as I am not aware of any Marler car connection.

There are some other candidates out there.

Billionaires Shortcomings

Are all billionaire's twats?

Elon Musk clearly is.

And Donald Trump.

And Rupert Murdoch.

And Bernie Ecclestone.

And Philip Green.

And Viscount Rothermere.

This isn't looking good.

But there are thousands of billionaires.

Paul McCartney & Oprah Winfrey seem nice.

And so does Bill Gates.

I've never liked Beyonce's music - until she did Texas Hold 'Em - which I love - and she seems OK as a person too.

So where are all of these billionaires living.

I'd fancy a nice mansion with a big garden and a big garage.

But I'm not rich so that's irrelevant.

It seems car companies are building towers for billionaires to live in.

In Dubai, Bugatti is building its first residential tower. The cheapest apartments are set to cost £3.9m. The less cheap ones will have private lifts meaning that owners can park their cars inside their apartments.  It doesn't say how many cars you can get into an apartment but I love the idea.

Porsche's Design Tower in Miami opened in 2017, while Aston Martin's Residences Miami launched last year.

"Meanwhile, in Texas, Discovery Land Company's upcoming residential Austin Surf Club is centred around a vast man-made surf lagoon."

Is that a Land-Rover Discovery or an Austin project?

America Tending to the Right

With the mid-terms quickly approaching, I hope this doesn't happen.  DC will be watching closely.

One thing that I have always liked about America, and I have driven a bit over there (although not in a long time) is the rule they have in most States whereby you can turn right through a red traffic light (assuming it is safe to do so)

There are still rules to follow of course - here's a little Driver Ed for you.

And here is another Driver Ed:

But I digress.

Back to the traffic light rule.

According to Car+Driver, Washington (and the rest of D.C.) are looking to remove the turn right on red rule.  The story is here.  Apparently fatalities are on the up with pedestrians not looking around the corners as they cross and, more importantly, drivers not checking for pedestrians or cyclists as they go through the red lights.

This will become even more of a problem as quieter electric vehicles become more prevalent. 

Now throw in something I had not heard of before called The Idaho Stop and much chaos and death will ensue.  The Idaho Stop (although not fully implemented in D.C.) basically allows cyclists to do what they think they can do here in the UK and proceed carte blanche through stop signs and red lights.

Car+Driver added one of their little 50/50 votes at the end of story and, since we petrol-heads all think we are such skilled drivers, I was pleasantly surprised at the outcome with as many as 31% agreeing with tighter rules:

I just hope there are some pleasant surprises for Joe in the vote next month.

Strange Choices

 It seems a strange choice to let your very small unrestrained child stick its head out of the car window when your travelling around:

Actually - it's just stupid - unless you don't actually like the child.

No, a strange choice would be to leave a lucrative job as Aston Martin's Design Manager having worked on the DBX, DB11 and Valkyrie...

...to go to do a similar job for Dacia.

But that is what this chap is doing:

He doesn't look like an Aston Martin designer does he?

His name is Miles Nürnberger - I've not heard of him.

But those cars show he is up to the job - and he's a bit older now and presumably wiser.  So there must be a good reason to move - probably financial but maybe the challenge or job security or he doesn't like his car-parking space - none of our business really.

What we do know though is that it's not that he gets to design the new Dacia Logo.

I Fancy Tina Fey

 

Who wouldn't?

Well, I suppose a homosexual gentleman might not.  Although I have two gay friends who don't know each other and both fancy Kate Bush so who knows?

But that isn't what this post is about.

Women always claim to be attracted to men with a sense of humour.

I don't believe that.  I'm always considered my self quite funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word not the "peculiar" sense of the word) but women have never thrown themselves at me.

Now, while it is possible that I am not funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word), I really don't wish to countenance that idea.

Besides, I've noticed that women actually tend to go for tall, handsome men, irrespective of sense of humour.

I, on the other hand, generally find myself fancying women who are in to their cars - Vicki Butler-Henderson, Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd and, more recently, Helen Stanley:

I would even forgive the tattoos.

I do also fancy Nigella Lawson but of you type "Nigella Lawson car" into Google, it wants to take you to "Nigella Lawson carrot cake"

Don't put vegetables into cakes!

Anyway, to finally get to the point, Tina Fey has finally bought her first car. Car+Driver have the story under the annoying headline:

Tina Fey Bought Her First Car during Lockdown, and It Might Surprise You

Normally I wouldn't touch a story like that because it would be some crap piece of click-bait but I like Car+Driver, I like Tina Fey and I like cars.

The gist of the story is that she bought a white Subaru Forrester - a fine enough car that I have no strong views about one way or another but I suppose it is a bit boring.

I was more shocked by Jimmy Fallon's admission that he had never heard of it.

Car+Driver misquote her a bit saying "her husband urged her to buy something fun, like a Mini Cooper or a Jeep (this is the point in the interview when it becomes clear that the Fey household is an expert-free zone when it comes to car shopping)"

According to Tina, her husband suggested "a Mini Cooper or something exciting like a Jeep or a BMW or something" I suppose a Jeep could be exciting depending in where you take it and some BMWs are certainly exciting but I think I'd have suggested a Ferrari or Aston Martin.

But she isn't a car person.

And yet I still fancy her.

I think it could be that she is a very funny lady (in the "ha ha" sense of the word)

Aston Martin Enters a New Class of Vehicle.

Aston Martin has revealed the final design of the DBS GT Zagato:

Car+Driver have the story here.

 

It doesn't have a rear window.

And I'm guessing it's a two-seater.

So that makes it a van then.

Hoping To Clean Up

From this:

to this?

OK, let's step back a bit.

 

Not back as far as the very early 1900s when horse-drawn vacuum cleaners were "the thing" - but just as far as 2008 when Dyson - the vacuum cleaner and fan and blade hand-dryer company started by the chap in the second photo, James Dyson, denied that they were designing an electric car.

 

Fair enough.

 

But that was nine years ago and they didn't rule out working on battery tech for an electric car.

 

Anyway, skip back to May last year when Car Magazine told us that "Tech firm Dyson is secretly working on an electric car."

 

Oooh!

 

In fact, that's where I got that picture from.

 

Good, isn't it?

 

Anyway, skip forward to today, and Autocar announce that Dyson have now lured a THIRD important player from the car industry into their fold.  They announce that following on from Aston Martin product development director Ian Minards and Tesla communications executive Ricardo Reyes they have now got David Wyer, director of purchasing at Aston Martin.

 

This is the only photo they have of him:

I assume he's driving it.

 

Both Car Magazine and Autocar report that last year that an official government document read: “The Government is funding Dyson to develop a new battery electric vehicle at their headquarters in Malmesbury, Wiltshire. This will secure £174 million of investment in the area, creating over 500 jobs, mostly in engineering”.  And they both report that this document was quickly altered to say “The Government is providing a grant of up to £16m to Dyson to support research and development for battery technology at their site in Malmesbury.”

 

Well I for one, reckon that Dyson ARE working on an electric car - especially when I saw this: 

Insurance Bond

Today is Back To The Future Day.

But I covered that last week so let's talk James Bond instead.

Here he is getting out of his Aston Martin DB10 - a car you can't actually buy.

Therefore, it would be a nightmare to insure.  I've just renewed my car insurance so I know it can be a bit pricey - mine was not far short of £300.  But I do have full no-claims discount.

One company I didn't ask for a quote from though, was Kwik Fit Insurance.  I've heard several stories over the years of people going in to Kwik Fit Centres with a puncture, or needing some cheap tyres, and being told they need a new exhaust and a new set of shocks.

Shocking.

So imagine trying to get a motor insurance quote and finding out you need life insurance and pet insurance too.

Kwik Fit have also come up with a quote for Mr.Bond.

Here it is.

It seems to take in to account third-party items that I'm not sure he would be liable for - like damage to a Jaguar C-X75 (also unavailable for sale - and unavailable for replace as new) but surely it is the responsibility of whoever looks after Spectre's insurance.  I'd imagine they would accept knock-for-knock on that one.

It also takes into account "Number of near-death experiences" but doesn't mention occupation.  He could call himself "Navy Officer" or "Government Employee" in which case, that might not be too bad.  I don't remember seeing "assassin" on my confused.com form so that may not be an option.

Obviously Mr.Bond will not have built up a no-claims.

Kwik Fit seem to think that Q has to foot the bill.  If so, he could do a lot worse than seeing what Confused can do for him - bound to be cheaper than Kwik Fit's £1.5 million.

And he'll get a free Brian toy.

Wilmslow Motor Show Sponsored by Etihad

I used to live in Cheshire.

Until they moved it.

Cheshire is one of Jeremy Clarkson's least-favourite counties - mainly because that is where a lot of Premiership footballers and their WAGs live.

Wilmslow is a town in Cheshire that is popular with such people.

Today I took my WAG and children along there for the second ever Wilmslow Motor Show Sponsored by Etihad.  They have their own Website.

Being Wilmslow, it had to be posh cars.  There were lots of Aston Martins - mostly new ones - but also this lovely example of a DB5:

There were three examples of the BAC Mono there - not a name that would go down well in America.  These cars look a lot better in real life:

There were a series of cars with their bonnets open.  From the tiny bonnet on this MG SV: 

To the huge bonnet on this Mustang: 

To the gigantic bonnet on this (admittedly rear-engined) Ford GT: 

Dave Newsham's BTCC Toyota Avensis was there: 

 Actually, that isn't true.

Despite this photographic evidence to the contrary.

This is actually Ollie Jackson's car with Dave Newsham's name and number on it.  I spoke to a member of the Speedworks crew who was there with the car.  He told me that the team were still working on the Newsham car after the damage it sustained a fortnight ago in Knockhill.

The Police (The Constabulary, not Sting and his mates) were also there letting children sit in one of their cars.  They also had a wrecked Renault Megane in which a 21 Year-old lad had died.  A woman was there handing out leaflets and telling us the story of what happened.  It was night, he was not speeding, he was very slightly over the drink-drive limit, weather conditions were fair, he lost control going around a bend and hit a tree.  A Doctor travelling in a car in front saw the headlights disappear and went back to see what had happened - he declared him dead at the scene which is why the car wasn't cut open.  The lad's parents donated the car to the Police and it was now being used to highlight how driving inexperience can lead to serious accidents.  It was about this point when the woman revealed that we were looking at her son's car.

Wow.

Sort of makes you think after looking at Lambo's, AMGs, Loti, Nobles, TVRs, Bentleys and the like.

Top Ghia

Two big companies hit the headlines (if you looked at the right sites) this week with announcements about new products.

The motoring press were keen to hear about Ford's new Vignale range which will be a posh-end sub-brand to their standard range. Here's a Mondeo Vignale to be debuted at Frankfurt next week:

It's brown.

 

CarAdvice have the story here while Pistonheads cover it here together with a very cheesy 1980s ad (although it's more like a music video) for Ford RS accessories featuring an Escort from that time.  Just about every motoring site around also has the story with their own take on it - most seem quite negative - especially if you read readers' comments.

 

I can understand why.

 

Ford have always had top-spec cars - usually with the Ghia moniker.  Ghia being an Italian coach-builder/design-house much like Vignale.  In America they used the Mercury brand - until they scrapped it.  Here, they owned Jaguar, Aston-Martin and Volvo - until they sold them all.

 

Ford are suggesting separate facilities within their dealerships for their Vignale customers - that will cost a fair bit and possibly make their existing buyers feel second-rate.

 

Rather than buy a posh Ford, people will just go out and buy a posher brand - BMW being the obvious one.

 

Now, where have I heard that name Vignale before?

 

Ah yes, here:

 

And why Vignale anyway?  Ghia is easier to pronounce.

 

Both have an illustrious history - here are couple of 1950s Abarth Fiats:

 

This is the Vignale. Hmm...

...and this is the Ghia.  The Ghia is moderately less ugly - even with Tweetie-pie's beak.

Of course, Ghia has its own connotations - here's Delboy's "Capri Ghia" as he liked it to be known or "Pratmobile" as Rodney liked it to be known: 

Some of the motoring press are saying that if this actually works, then the sporty Ford-buyer will be offered a sporty sub-brand - the ST - which just brings us back to the RS brand in the Pistonheads video.

 

Now, the other company with a proud, important pre-launch is Samsung.  They seem to like the name Ford is rejecting so let's just hope that there is no confusion between the Ford Galaxy Ghia... 

and the Samsung Galaxy Gear... 

Ferrari Dayto-forget

I heard this story out of Japan on Radio 2 this morning but it wasn't on the BBC Website (probably will be by the time you read this) but Bloomberg had it. Nobody badly hurt though. It was caused by a sixty-year-old who lost control on a wet motorway. He's now under threat of prison.

Maybe it'll make this bimbo from this story in July feel a bit better though. No, it's not Patsy Kensit, it's some anonymous French woman who drove a Bentley into four other prestigious cars in Monaco. And because she was trapped inside the car and it was a convertible, she was soon surrounded by tourists with cameras and camera-phones. There are hundreds of photos all over the Web.

Like this one...

Aston Martin Cygnet

Nooooooo! This is basically a Toyota iQ, built in Britain, with a leather interior, Aston grille and £30,000 price tag.

I can see the logic in that Aston need something with good emissions and economy to offset those of the barges in the rest of the range. They may even be able to tempt away some of the Chelsea Tractor drivers who like the idea of an Aston badge and have to drive through the Congestion Zone to get Tarquin to school.

The Cygnet will have Toyota engines. I don't know if they'll actually have Toyota written on them or not - I'd want "Aston Martin" written on the engine block of any Aston I owned.

The iQ is undoubtedly a very cleverly designed vehicle - not big enough to take four full-sized rugby players like their advert implies - but still very well packaged nonetheless. It costs about £10K to £12K so if I was in the market for a small car, I'd go for a Fiesta instead, or, if I was in the market for a very small car, then maybe an Aygo although that is one sector I don't see myself venturing into for the next forty years or so.