Safety First and Last

Drive.com.au have this story today about car safety features.

Apparently drivers hate them.

I think it's mostly the lane assist and the warnings about exceeding the speed limit.

My car has both.

But it's a 2020 car so I switched off the lane assist when I first got it and the speed warning is just a subtle flashing of the speed limit indicator in the head-up display and speedo centre which is very easy to ignore.

No bonging.

Worldwide legislation has decreed that all newer cars have to have these things mush more annoying, harder to switch off and for them to switch themselves back on when you restart the engine/ignition.

The story is about a survey by AAMI, who seem to be a major Australian Insurer, about safety features drivers are turning off and why.

Although the "why" is obvious.

Apparently, AAMI have a bloke called Steve who is their "Motor Insights and Operations Manager" and he seemed surprised at how many drivers were switching them off.  He seemed to be encouraging people not to do this but his arguments were not exactly convincing:

“We're really encouraging people to understand how these safety systems work and learn how to use these and get the best out of them so it can be safer for you and all other road users.”

“If you're picking up a new car, spend that time to actually get the dealer to show you how these features work.

“They'll spend time with you to help you understand those features, which will then enable you to build trust and confidence in using them.

"These systems are there to help you, not replace you."

Car reviews are now pointing out how annoying these features are and which cars are best for mitigating the annoyance.

Which sort of defeats the whole purpose of the annoyance in the first place.

I asked Google AI about this - it was more helpful than Steve:

Easily Deactivated Systems:

Peugeots, Renaults, and Nissans:

These brands are often highlighted for having systems that can be easily turned off with a single button press or a combination of button presses, allowing drivers to quickly and efficiently disable driver assistance features.

Citroën:

Similar to the above, Citroën is mentioned for placing buttons for these systems conveniently close to each other, allowing for easy, simultaneous deactivation.

Hyundai and Kia:

These manufacturers have also incorporated a press-and-hold function on some steering wheel buttons, achieving a similar result of quick deactivation.

Systems that are Less Intrusive or More Easily Managed:

Volvo:

Volvo's driver assistance systems, particularly the lane keeping system, are often praised for being well-calibrated and only activating when truly necessary, reducing the need for frequent deactivation.

Volkswagen:

Volkswagen is mentioned for having a speed limit warning system that is quiet and unobtrusive, making it less likely to be a nuisance.

Skoda:

Skoda's systems are noted for staying off even after the car is restarted, which is a feature not always offered by other manufacturers.

Audi:

Audi's safety systems are mentioned for being subtle and effective, with features that can be easily curated or turned off. 

It seems to have got this information from an article in the Daily Telegraph but I'm not going to link to it because:

a) It wants your email address before it will let you read it

b) It's The Daily Telegraph

Anyway, the moral of this is, if you want people to be safer, don't make the safety systems that are annoying and therefore unsafe.

Not For The Children

I thought there would have been some complaints.

Clarkson and the boys messing about with sex toys.

It's not aimed at children but I know lots enjoy watching the show.  It's a safe bet that if it had been on the BBC, there would have been at least six phone calls and the media would have gone loopy.

I don't believe that "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" has an Amazon Prime subscription.

I suppose they might get one now they have read about it in The Sunday Express.  But then they won't know who they can complain to.  And they do enjoy a good moan.  The Express themselves were quite positive about the show although their readers don't seem to like it judging by the comments at the end of the article.

But that's Express readers for you.

The Telegraph were unusually favourable about the show too.  Maybe because they didn't let their Dance Correspondent write their review this week.

I did notice that the audience didn't get Jeremy's "Pass The Dutchie" joke en route to exploding his sex doll.  Possibly Musical Youth were not big in The Netherlands.

Talking of fake people you can use in High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes...

This BBC story amused me about police in New York State breaking in to a car after reports of an old lady being frozen to death left in a car overnight in minus temperatures.

It turned out to be a very realistic mannequin used for medical training pruposes - at least that's what the owner claimed it was for.  He was not best pleased.

"It is my understanding that the owner was incredulous that we took action in this matter," police chief L Edward Moore said in a statement. "He apparently was quite vocal and vulgar to my sergeant."

I did have a litttle sympathy for the owner.  But then again, why strap the mannequin in to the passenger seat as though it was a real person?  But then again again, I imagine the police would get called out more often if he was seen regularly stuffing an old lady into the boot of his car.


I do though, particularly like Chief Moore's message for mannequin owners:

"Just to clear the record, all citizens of Hudson should be put on notice that if you park your locked vehicle on the street on a sub-zero night with a life-size realistic mannequin seated in it... we will break your window."

Telegraph Road

Another bloke from The Telegraph is learning to drive.

His name is Tom Rowley.

Now I realise that looks like Una Stubbs - but that is the first picture that came up when I typed "Tom Rowley Telegraph" into Google Images.  This is what he really looks like: 

(the bloke in the glasses not the little creature on his arm)

 

Any road up, I found this story in the Telegraph motoring section.  It follows on from one earlier in the week about Noel Gaughan, the driving instructor to the stars (as opposed to Nick Freeman, the motoring lawyer to the stars).

 

So far, Noel has taught:

• Adele who I have heard of
• Niall Horan who I hadn't heard of but is from from the boy band One Direction who I unfortunately have heard of.
• James McAvoy - Yes
• Mika - Yes
• Gemma Arterton - Yes
• Christina Chong - Nope
• Rhys Ifans - Yes
• Lara Stone - a model apparently, not the girl from Tomb Raider
• Pixie Geldof - Yuk

He also claims not to know who they all are.

 

He also didn't know who Tom Rowley is.

 

But he does now - he's giving him a one-week crash-course to pass his test.  I love that phrase when applied to driving lessons.

 

I don't know if we'll find out how Tom got on.  I say that because the adventures of Ed Cummings fizzled out after just three articles (at least that was all I ever found) - Ed being the other Telegraph bloke I hinted at before.  I covered Ed's story last December.

 

I wonder if he passed, or just ended up in Dire Straits.

Quiet News Day?

Most of the car sites today, like Autocar for example, are going with the announcement of the Vauxhall Insignia Country Tourer - a four-wheel-drive family estate car.

Not particularly interesting, even for someone like me who drives a four-wheel-drive family estate car.

It's brown:

 The Telegraph have been running two non-stories since the weekend.

A pointless review of the first episode of series 20 of Top Gear.  Pointless because it is written by someone more interested in repeating the fact that he is "not the target audience" for the show and then telling us that he didn't enjoy it.  Well, what a surprise!!!  Prat.  Some of the reader comments are suitably scathing though.

Their second non-story promises us the Top 10 Long-lived cars still on sale.

Only it doesn't.

I was expecting a list of cars that haven't really changed much in many years like the Land-Rover Defender or Porsche 911 (OK the 911 has changed a lot, but it still looks the same).

But no.  What we were given were a bunch of car names that have lived on - like the Ford Fiesta.  The early Fiestas bore no relation whatsoever to the new ones.  Pointless journalism.


Meanwhile, Autoguide have got hold of the story that "Ferrari is limiting its employees to only three in-house recipients per email."

This will cause problems if Fernando Alonso wants to send an amusing jpeg of a cat to Felipe Massa and all of their mechanics.

He will probably have to send the email several times to groups of three each time.

I'm not convinced that Ferrari have really thought this through.

Could you just spare a minute...

...to sign this petition?

Honest John in The Telegraph is imploring us to sign one.  This is one of many on the Government's e-petition site, http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/.

This particular one asks the question, "Are some car insurers killing off Speed Awareness Courses?" and claims that, "Some car insurers are now increasing premiums for drivers who complete Speed Awareness Courses, despite them not being convicted of any offence. Perversely they are penalising drivers for choosing an option that is proven to improve driving standards. This is illogical and unfair, it deters others from taking the course and could affect its future availability. Insurers should promote Speed Awareness Courses, instead some penalise drivers who complete them."

I have signed it.

And so has my wife.

Basically, I think these courses are a very good idea and am annoyed at the motor insurance industry picking on them as an excuse to up premiums.

I am no stranger to the e-petition site and was one of 43057 signatories on the sadly unsuccessful petition to keep Formula 1 Free to Air in the UK.

After signing the Speed Awareness petition, I decided to see what other car-related petitions were on the Government site.

One of the first to catch my eye was another irritating insurance industry one: "Non-fault accident impact on Car Insurance"

This one reads,
"Please consider following changes for car insurance:

1. You need to declare last 3 years fault/non-fault accident claims while buying car insurance. Insurance companies say that as per some stats, a person is more likely to be involved in an accident if they have had any accidents in the past and in many accidents, there is a fault ratio involved.

We believe that such stats cannot be applied to every accident. Ex: If someone has been hit on the back of their car while they were stationary/moving in traffic or parked in parking bay, how they could become more prone to accidents in future?

Currently, they are still penalized by increased premium for next 3 years due to non-fault accident claim.

To avoid such situations, either non-fault claim declaration should not be mandatory while buying car insurance or a process should be defined to calculate fault ratio.

2. Insurance companies should be required to provide a breakdown of premium calculation in insurance quote."

Last year I was hit on the back of my car while I was stationary.  Now, how could I become more prone to accidents in future?  I didn't even make a claim - it was all done through the other person's insurance but I still have to declare it.


Next, I found "Car Lamps should be easy to replace" which tells us,

"All too frequently cars are seen with lights that are not working. Whilst some people will habitually ignore a defective lamp, the increasing tendency for manufacturers to make lamp replacement impossible for the average motorist to undertake, means that a garage appointment is required to fix the lamp.

The Government should therefore legislate to force manufacturers to make bulb replacement easy and well within the capabilities of most motorists without having either to damage your hands or remove large parts of the car to access the lamps.

This would increase road safety and therefore make driving safer!"

Even with my small, girly hands I struggle to change modern car bulbs - they tend to be positioned with the battery or fusebox or some pipework making them virtually impossible to get at.  So, yet another petition I agree with.  I think it's a bit fanciful though, to assume that the Government would legislate on it.

And, while we're on the subject, will Halfords please stop advertising the service of bulb-replacement when you purchase a bulb off them - if you actually look into it, they'll only do it if it is easy to fit anyway.


So, how about "Cars to give cyclists space"?

Apparently, "Cycling is the transport of the future being healthy, cheap and non polluting however many would be cyclists are deterred from taking up cycling on British roads due to the dangerous disregard by some motorists for cyclists.

Cyclists need a cars width between them and overtaking motorists to feel and be safe on the roads. Motorists passing cyclists with just inches to spare between them and the cyclist are putting cyclists at risk and causing distress and fear of harm which is a crime in itself. Cyclists have every right to use the public roads and should not feel threatened in doing so.

We are calling for the Government to make Police take much more robust action on motorists putting cyclists at risk prosecuting dangerous motorists in the same way as those threatening physical violence."

As a cyclist and a car-driver I appreciate the argument from both sides although haven't particularly noticed it as a problem when on two-wheels.  Any police officer witnessing a driver intimidating a cyclist would, I am sure, take some action, especially if a perceived danger was involved.

So how about a petition to make the Police take more robust action against cyclists contravening the road laws - like riding two-abreast on a main road when there is a perfectly good cycle-lane marked out on the adjacent pavement - OK, so it's not illegal, but it is bloody annoying - and a safety issue.


Now for one getting into the realms of fantasy - or is it?

How to stop car chases involving police.

"To stop car chases involving police all new cars should have wireless networking built into engine management systems. Each car could have a code stored in DVLA that the police could use to disable that engine.

If a car fails to stop, all the police need to do is send the code to the engine. That will effectively stop the car. This would save many lives and could be used against stolen vehicles.

Encryption would be used to stop any random signal affecting any engines.

The govenment need to make this law for all new cars/bikes."

Maybe it is possible nowadays.  It would put Tracker out of business but in any case, would be a manufacturer added option if anything.


However, the petition that most amused me - and mostly entered the realms of fantasy was the one entitled "water powered hybrid cars"

This one, funnily enough, only has one signatory - presumably the person who created it.  It informs us thusly,

"The government are wasting away our life's and others by causing us to waste away our money,lives and our future generations causing our own deaths when we can do something about it

all the government is doing is stopping us from buying water powered cars so they can take more money off us.

we can save money and save the planet in 100 years our human race could end up dead or back up in the dark ages so please sign and save us all and our future generations "

When I'd stopped laughing, I did a Google Images search for water-powered cars and found this:

It's a G-Wiz!  Now the G-Wiz is famously electric and I thought electricity and water were supposed to be a bad mix.

And is that Hannibal Lecter sitting in it? 


I wondered if any other countries allow the general populace to come up with sensible and daft petition subjects like this.

Canada, Australia, South Africa and Russia all seem like a big no.

But in America, they have - https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/

Unfortunately, the only car-related petition in there was the extremely boring "overturn franchise laws that limit auto manufacturers from selling their vehicles directly to consumers."

Then I remembered that Americans like to call cars "automobiles" so I did a search on that but there was nothing there.




OK, I think that's enough petitioning for one post - I'll sign off now.

Good Evans!

Looks like the Mail now has a new motoring correspondent - Chris Evans.  Don't worry if that video doesn't play - it'll be browser settings or something technical but you're not missing much.

I don't know if James "Formlia 1" Martin has got the push or not but, reading Chris Evans' first piece - a review of the Subaru BRZ - I don't think it will make much difference to me.

I like reading about cars and if The Mail want celebrities to write about cars, then it is best if they are petrol-heads but, unless there is an element of humour (like Alexei Sayle in the Telegraph - although I'll stop reading him after they disappear behind a paywall) then I prefer my articles to be written by motoring journos or racers.

Now, that's not to say he doesn't do a bad job, I'll certainly continue to read his pieces where I rarely read Martin's.  It is self-deprecating and there are a few interesting facts in there about Subaru - like Subaru is the Japanese name for the constellation Pleiades (or Seven Sisters) but only has six of them on its badge.

 So far, the Mail readers seem quite indifferent to Chris.

Two days later, there have only been 11 comments added to the article - they seem fairly evenly mixed about as to whether or not he is better than Martin and I'm ashamed to say that I have to agree with some Daily Mail readers - specifically the two who picked up on his use of the word "she" to describe the car.

"It" - the word is "It", not "she!"

That story has still achieved 11 more comments than this one that has been up for four days but that may be because

"We are no longer accepting comments on this article."  I suspect that they never started accepting comments on the article - that way, some of the more homophobic Mail readers would not get a chance to air their prejudices.

 

This is the story of Karis Smith, pictured right, who bears a striking facial resemblance to Michael McIntyre and happens to be a lesbian.

 

Why is that relevant?

 

The Michael McIntyre bit isn't but the lesbian bit is.

 

Karis has started up a driving school in Manchester that is gay-friendly after hearing various tales of unfriendly and downright discriminatory treatment meted out by certain driving instructors.  It seems that transgender learners had particular problems feeling they were expected to explain their gender and sexuality.

 

The article continues "Some of the complaints made to Karis were issues such as constantly having to use ‘non-gender’ pronouns when chatting with their instructor, mentioning their 'partner' rather than girlfriend or boyfriend."

 

This is when you can use words like "she".

How to Drive (...Telegraph Readers Mad).

Part 2 of what promises to be an amusing series of articles appeared in The Telegraph motoring section today.

Ed Cummins, a 25-Year-old Telegraph journalist is learning to drive.

He writes about it in an amusing way - at least I find it amusing.

Some others do not.

Part 1 is here and part 2 is here.

I don't think he is being particularly honest about his lessons - he is playing it for mild comedy - which is fine by me - but some Telegraph readers don't seem to appreciate it - it's probably the same lot who complain about Alexei Sayle writing for The Telegraph. As I've mentioned before, I love the fact they get wound up.

The first comment, by someone calling himself cpf99, is actually very constructive making some good points about how Ed could have made more of modern teaching techniques and he also makes the obvious point that Ed is probably getting a freebie here in return for plugging The AA Driving School.

After that, though, it's the usual Telegraph-reader-who-doesn't-get-the-joke fodder and one deluded person called steveleeoflondon who wants us to believe that "When I was 10 I watched my dad carefully all the way to our holiday destination and worked out what the pedals did and how the gears work etc. When we got to the other end I asked him if I could try driving on the half mile long private road which formed part of our destination. I jumped in, adjusted the seat then drove using all the (4) gears, stopped, did a three point turn and drove it back and parked it. Easy."

He'll probably tell you he went on be World Rally Champ and taught Lewis Hamilton how to drive.

That's Telegraph readers for you.

Left, Right?

Back at the start of Summer, I posted about Alexei Sayle becoming a motoring correspondent with The Daily Telegraph.I think I don't particularly like his motoring writing - his latest piece, on the Paris Motor Show, is quite short and quite vague. It does, however, really wind up a small number of Telegraph readers who like to vent their spleen in the comments section. This amuses me very much and I enjoy their annoyance.

I have made the point myself in the past that the better motoring columns tend to be found in the more obnoxious right-wing media - Fox News, The Telegraph and The Mail.

But, then again, I hadn't really looked in the left-wing media.

So I took a look in The Mirror.

I did find two of my favourite correspondents, Richard Hammond & Quentin Willson. But overall, it is quite a disappointing site and very rarely updated - it's had the same couple of stories including one about an electric car called "The Lightning" on its header for at least three weeks now - and some very intrusive advertising.

Socialist Worker doesn't appear to have a motoring section.

I think they should.

Now, who on Earth could they possibly get to be their star guest motoring correspondent?

A Family Affair

Caught this rather nice article in the online Telegraph this week. It came with this very cheesy photo:

It's about BTCC driver (and reigning champion) Matt Neal teaching his twin sons, Will & Harry, to drive now that they have turned 17.

William and Harry!!

I hadn't though of him being a Royalist. I also hadn't thought of him as being old enough to have kids old enough to drive. He's only about my age!

His sons will have an excellent teacher and it looks like he is trying to keep their feet on the ground including some professional lessons as well. I'm not as sure of the car choices though, a sporty Corsa and an old Beetle with no seatbelts. The former will cost a fortune to insure and the latter has no seatbelts.

I've not mentioned the BTCC much this year - but I haven't missed a race and they have been just as exciting as every recent season. I've not watched any f1 meanwhile and am not missing it in the slightest.

The BTCC last weekend was at Rockingham and much rain caused much sliding off but there were no major disputes - unlike last year when this excellent picture was taken:

I don't usually credit the pictures I find on the 'Net but this is worth a link and a mention of Life Exposed Photography as this picture perfectly captures Matt in full-on anger mode where no other picture of the incident I've found does.

Here, Matt is launching himself at Jason Plato after a serious shunt in qualifying. Good! - we like some passion in our racing drivers. Jason is wisely keeping his helmet on given that Matt practises martial arts and is considerably bigger than him. Meanwhile, their dads are in the picture trying to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

A very un-cheesy photo - but, then again, racing-driver Matt Neal will be nothing like family-man Matt Neal - I hope! And it looks like it is family-man Matt Neal that Wills & Harry have as their driving instuctor.

The word "Gullible" isn't in the Dictionary

I wish I didn't have to keep reading the Online versions of The Mail, The Telegraph and Fox News - trouble is they often have quite interesting articles in their motoring sections.

This Mail story though, is just in the ordinary news section - it isn't really news - not even motoring or business - I guess they were getting desperate while Parliament is shut and the Olympics are over. At least it bears some truth - there are a lot of gullible/superstitious people out there - and many will read The Mail. Their story I picked up on last week was just nonsense.

anyway, back to this week's nonsense. They claim that people will be reluctant to buy a new car next March because it will have a "13" number plate and 13 is an unlucky number. If people are that superstitious, then they should just buy the car in February or wait until September for the 63-Plates or shell out and get a Private Plate - maybe CRA5H.I'll be looking forward to picking up a 13-Reg bargain a few years down the line - like most people born under the sign of Virgo, I don't go for all this bad luck/astrology bunkum. If you don't believe me, check out my home address:

'Ullo John, Gotta New Motoring Correspondent?

The very right-wing Telegraph now has a very left-wing motoring correspondent. I commented a while back how James May's regular Telegraph column seemed to have fizzled out and I had noticed that Alexei Sayle's picture had been regularly appearing there.

I had figured that he had just done one interview for them (an item on the electric Citroën C-Zero - a car identical to the Mitsubishi i-Miev that I disliked so much earlier this month)

If I'd been a bit more observant, I'd have noticed that there has actually been a new piece from him every month since this March.

The Telegraph try and justify Alexei's presence to their readership with an interview rounding off the rough edges and headlined in a way to have a dig at Labour.

But they don't have to justify anything to me. I've been a fan of Alexei right back to The Young Ones days - I love his downright daft take on life and will be regularly checking in here for a comedic take on motoring.

Hang on a mo' though - if I want a comedic take on motoring - I need to be checking in here!

Keep the Thickos off the Streets!

A couple of stories from the online Torygraph Motoring Section have caught my eye. I do check out that site from time-to-time but not as often as when James May used to write for it. He still appears there but stopped writing quite a while ago - they said he was taking a holiday and put out some of his old classic articles to keep the punters happy. Now it just says that "he is taking a back seat" and they haven't touched his section since last September.

Anyway, back to the stories: This Monday, it got harder to pass your driving test! What this means is that you can no longer trust the questions from your Driving Test Theory exam (which you have to pass before you take the important practical part) to come from a set list that you can revise. This will particularly upset the chap from the other story that they published today. They describe him as "unlucky" - I'd describe him as "thick" - he's managed to fail the theory test 92 times! He clearly does not have the wherewithall to grasp the understanding of road-craft or hazard perception and should not be allowed out on the road.If he had been taking his test back in my day, he would not have to show any more intelligence than answering a couple of questions at the end of driving around for half-an-hour and, if I remember correctly, they couldn't fail you if that was the only bit you got wrong. How many other thickos are our there causing chaos because they passed in my day? Am I one such thicko?

At least I took a driving test (in fact I took two!) There's another generation older than me (Nicholas Parsons is an example) who were given licences because they drove a bit while in the Military.

The only thing you can say for Mr.I've-Failed-92-Times is that at least he is being honest and legal about it - some would give up and just drive anyway - like certain individuals who can't afford to, or don't want to, pay for Insurance.

As any good Telegraph reader would say "Lock them up and throw away the key!"