Fancy a drink?

If, so, then you might want to consider one of UniBev's products.

Like Bra Tea.

or

Algae To Go (I've deliberately spelled those very slightly wrong for comic effect)

or

Firewoman Sam.

The product is called, "FEUERWEHRMANN SAM" - I don't speak German so may have translated that for comic effect.

They seem to have a new product now called Cybercab.

A bit more embarassment for not-the-top-producer-of-electric-vehicles-in-the-World.

Also known as Tesla.

They've lost their top-seller crown to BYD of China and seen sales falling not just because of Elon's far right tendencies.

So they are pinning their hopes on autonomous taxis that they have decided to call Cybercabs.

What could possibly go wrong?

THIS!

 

The Evolution of Buttons

 

But not the sort that keep your cardigan together.

I had a mild panic attack today when a big orange square appeared on my dashboard as I was driving home from work:

It turns out Radio 2 have changed their logo-image thingy on DAB Radio.

I usually listen to Johnny Vaughan on Radio X or Simon Mayo on Greatest Hits when I'm driving home.  But I switch between them when adverts come on and today they had adverts on at the same time so I happened to switch to Radio 2 and up came that big orange square.

Now for some reason, that got me thinking about warning lights and dashboards.

My first car had the Triumph "All Systems Go" warning light cluster - I loved it.

Never managed to light up all 8 segments at the same time though.

The original dashboards had nothing on them - they were the boards at the front of carts that were pulled by horses - they were meant to protect the driver from mud and other unpleasantries thrown up by the horses hooves when travelling off-road.

The name stuck when the first motor cars appeared - logical given that most looked like "horseless carriages."

Eventually, as cars became cars, the dashboards were used to house instruments and controls for new fangled additions such as windscreen wipers - and, as anyone who subscribes to idriveaclassic on YouTube will know, pull switches were very popular for many years right up to the 1960s:

...and beyond for things like the hazard warning lights on my Triumph.

These were eventually replaced by toggle switches:

Then it was the turn of my favourite - the rocker switch!

These prevailed in the 1970s when I was becoming fascinated by cars.  You could could buy them in Halfords and Motorworld to add accessories (usually fog lamps) to your Vauxhall Victor or Ford Escort.

By the '90s - buttons had taken over:

In quite a big way in some cars - My Jaguar X-Type had buttons to operate a phone I didn't have.

I like buttons - not as much as I like rocker switches - but they are tactile and necessary when you need to control lots of things like heated seats and electric windows and climate control.

But, as even more complicated things (like Apps!) are becoming part of motoring, touchscreens are taking over from buttons.  VW famously took them too far and had to reinstate some - it was getting dangerous having to look away from the road to do basic things like put the air on re-circ.

I sometime use the voice commands on my car but I have found myself arguing with it a few times too and voice control is also no use to people with Scottish accents.

My car has a mixture of real buttons and touchscreen which is about as far from the horse and cart dashboard as you can get.

Imagine having to put up with a boring dashboard.

Silly Season

Except it isn't silly season.

Never knew it went back to 1861.

Although there do seem to be a disproportionate number of silly stories around today.

This one caught my eye first thing this morning:

What!?  McDonalds are training their staff how to sexually harass?

They had changed the headline by lunchtime.

But that isn't a car story - it was next to one though - this one.

"Tesla boss Elon Musk has had a record-breaking pay package that could be worth nearly $1tn (£760bn) approved by shareholders."

Did you spot the word "could" in there?

It's doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

It's like in the Webuyanycar.com adverts when Jason Manford says what could happen if you don't accept the low offer from Webuyanycar.com.

To get the full whack, the South African Nazi-type saluter will have to "drastically raise the electric car firm's market value over 10 years."

Given the job he's done this year, I can't see him getting close - especially as this is just more incentive not to buy a Tesla.

"The scale of the potential payout has drawn criticism, but the Tesla board argued that Musk might leave the company if it was not approved - and that it could not afford to lose him."

This doesn't bode well for the future of the company if the board really think that.

Sticking with electric cars, we have a story from my favourite American car journalist in Car+Driver.

Ezra Dyer is telling the story a the importer of Kia cars into Finland giving away free air fresheners to purchasers of the EV4 electric car.

The silliness in this story being that the smell of the air freshener is petrol and the look is this:

They found allegedly "Finland's only perfumier" to create it.  But they aren't doing it any more since Car+Driver asked Kia HQ in South Korea about it.

And they weren't too happy.

Final silly story today is from the BBC again.

I live very close to a place called West Kirby.  Kirby is a corruption of Kirkby - Viking for "church town"

And also the name of a town on the outskirts of Liverpool that is somewhat to the East of West Kirby.

Liverpool's local radio station, Radio City got rebranded last year and lost its localness - you can tell because the traffic news bloke can't pronounce any of the placenames in the vicinity.

Now, judging by this story, I wonder if they've got him painting the road markings?

Stalking

Something I have said on more than one occasion is, "If your Audi starts with a Q, then I'm not interested."

But that's because they are stupid cross-over SUVs.

Like the Q3.

Here's the new one:

It just looks like all of the other ordinary, bog-standard, stupid, cross-over SUVs.

And here is the Auto Express report on it.

Which I normally wouldn't have bothered to read.

Except, their headline involved the phrase, 

New Audi Q3 reinvents the indicator stalk

Another Tesla-type cock-up?

No, this might actually work...

It's basically a thumb-wheel.  It might actually work - and it's different!

And, because it isn't a BMW, it may get used.

You probably have to go into the menus though to find the toggle for tailgating.

Miles off

In the olden days, dodgy car dealers would turn back the odometers on vehicles to make them appear to have had less usage - and hence increase their value.

Apparently it involved a drill and the speedo cable.

You can't do that with modern cars.

Now, in the first of two Tesla stories from Reuters this week, they are accused of tampering in the opposite direction.  There is an allegation and matching lawsuit claiming that Teslas over-record their mileage so that the warranties run out quicker.

Another reason not to buy a second-hand Tesla if it's true.

The second story is about investor nervousness about brand damage done by Elon Musk.

They seem relieved that he will be reducing his Trump duties and spending more time with Tesla.

And the share price is going up despite a massive drop in profits.

I guess I don't understand finance.

I would have thought having a Nazi tosser spending MORE TIME running the company would be a bad thing.

Trump says he will buy a Tesla after stock slump

Well, I suppose somebody has to.

 

Is clockwork better than electric?

Saw the first episode of a new sitcom last night.

Although it's really a spin-off from an older sitcom.

Motherland has spawned Amandaland.

According to the Guardian, it is aimed at "strung out middle-aged mums" so shouldn't be of any interest to me.

And it perpetuates two tropes about electric cars - one real, one bunkum.

The real one is that you don't have off-road parking, they are a bugger to charge up locally and cheaply.

The bunkum one is that they keep running out of charge.

Here is Amanda in her Tesla.

As it is, the bunkum one doesn't bother me in the slightest.

For two reasons...

• It was essential to the storyline - and it is a VERY FUNNY sitcom.
• It makes Teslas look bad.

I don't like Teslas partly because of their lack of switchgear but mostly because of their odious CEO who I seem to be obsessed with - old Elon.

And it looks like I am not alone.  Here are a couple of very interesting stories about sales plummeting in Europe and the States:

• The Independent
• Motor 1.com

And one about how the Chinese brands are taking sales from Tesla over there.

• CNBC

The Chinese angle is interesting because Musk's current pal Donald is imposing tariffs on Chinese goods coming in to America (maybe he's found someone in America now who can make his MAGA hats) so that will probably include Tesla Model Ys.  And China is putting on reciprocal tariffs which will affect sales of the US built Teslas.

The American angle is also interesting though because the Americans who are not fans of Trump will not want to buy Teslas now. And Trump is very pro-oil and anti-electric so I suspect the bromance won't last too long.

Apparently, only Toyota owners are more likely than Tesla owners to say they will buy the same brand when they come to change their vehicle.  Wonder how long Tesla will hang on to that Number 2 spot?

Now go and watch episode 1 of Amandaland and you may realise that this post should have been called "Is clockwork better than chocolate?"

Inferior Design

Remember when BMW introduced their iDrive knob?

Lots of people hated it.

Then it evolved.

I found it perfectly useable on my 2012 3-Series.

Apple obviously weren't too bothered by its name - it was well before they had even considered making cars themselves so they wouldn't have needed it.

But now it is on it's way out...

...at least as we know it today.

Several motoring sites are reporting that BMW are at CES 2025 in Las Vegas showing the new version that will appear within the Neue Klasse electric models slated for the back end of this year.

Look! No knob!

And unfortunately, no buttons either.

Have they learned nothing from Volkswagen's U-Turn?

Now driving a BMW will be how I imagine driving a Tesla to be - just about everything involving fingering a big central screen - not exactly a driver's car any more.  But at least the BMWs will still have indicator stalks - something Tesla dropped in favour of steering wheel buttons - a horrific idea that you can only get away with if you are Ferrari.

And maybe not even then.

But, also at CES, we have evidence that someone at Tesla has seen a bit of sense.

Pretty safe bet it wouldn't have been Elon.

Drive.com.au have the specs for the all-new 2025 Tesla Model Y here.

Remember the days when a heated rear window or a rear fog lamp were proudly listed as features on the more upmarket versions of a particular model of car?

Well if you look at the features offered on the 2025 Model Y you will see...

...an indicator stalk!

Dangerous electric switch.

Do people switching from internal combustion to electric crash more because of the higher speeds that can be attained quickly?

That is the question raised today by Autocar.

It's an interesting question and the commenters at the bottom of the article make some interesting points too - well done for an interesting debate - I'd like to continue it here but virtually nobody reads my Blog and I can't be doing with promoting it.

Hertz, who have got shut of 20,000 Teslas say it is because "they were involved in more accidents than the renter’s ICE vehicles."

I would dispute that the reason was their electricness though - I'd have thought it was more down to renters struggling to get used to the stupid controls and lack of indicator stalks and the distracting central screen.

Other factors making electric more likely  to crash would be they tend to be:

• heavier
• taller (bloody SUV cross-overs)
• driven by younger people
• have more distractions for the driver

The weight may be countered by the fact that they have a low centre of gravity due to mostly underfloor battery packs.

And, as well as the more distractions, there will also be more safety features.

So what do the insurers tell us?

The Autocar story quotes Howden UK&I Retail who tell us “There are 26% more accident claims for EVs than for ICE vehicles.”

That seems quite conclusive.

Except, Thisismoney (who I nicked my photo off) tell us that HPI tell us "Looking specifically at cars up to a year old, the study found that a total of 40 EVs (0.01 per cent) were scrapped out of the 334,525 on the road last year.  This compared to 701 of 2,026,146 ICE vehicles (0.03 per cent)"

And Fleeteurope.com have this story telling us that the German Insurance Association analysed data showing that electric cars are responsible for five to 10 percent fewer accidents on average than comparable vehicles with ICE engines. "responsible for" though - not "involved in"

I honestly don't know the answer to this - maybe nobody does yet.

In the meantime - just enjoy the charged discussion.

Recalling when Leyland Daf were British

I've done loads of stories about recalls.

Like this one.

And this one.

Then there was this one.

And of course this one.

And this one.

Closely followed by this one.

All of them suitably stupid.

Like today's one from drive.com.au

Remember when LDVs were British?

Well now they are Chinese.

And 932 of them are being recalled due to a faulty Website.

I'm not too sure we should be using the word "recall" every time.  The Tesla one involved a software drop and this one involves owners throwing away any specification sheets obtained from the LDV Automotive website.

We should have Recalls, Patches and Booboos.

This particular Booboo, could result in "increased braking distances and/or reduced braking performance" or "reduced steering response which may lead to the vehicle to rollover."

And apparently, "A reduction or a loss in braking performance, a reduced steering response and/or vehicle rollover could result in a serious accident to the vehicle occupants or other road users that can lead to severe injury or death."

Death by website.

Electric Generation

I am Generation X so I like Ford Capris.

My children are Generation Z so they like Instagram - or, as those of us down with the kids know it, Insta.

There is news this week of electric cars for both groups this week.

Autocar and Auto Express are both reporting the new Ford Capri which is set to be launched in a couple of weeks...

No, that doesn't look much like a Ford Capri to me either.

Meanwhile, Jack from The Fully Charged Show, takes us on a tour of the Hyundai Insta - sorry the Hyundai Inster.

Both of these are cross-over SUVs, or as I prefer to call them, stupid cross-over SUVs.

Just like with the Mustang, Ford will be cashing in on classic car names to flog large numbers of vehicles to people who don't know much about cars.  And they will succeed while seriously turning off the real car fans to the brand.  Just look at he comments under articles about the new Capri.

Here's the only electric Capri that I approve of - I have one in my loft.

Meanwhile, Gen Z are getting a pretty decent car by the look of it - and check out the comments under Jack's piece.

What does this leave for the other generations?

I predict the forthcoming Honda Dailymail for the Boomers and the Mazda Dawsonscreek for the Millennials.

We are supposedly up to Generation Alpha now.

They can have the Tesla Heyduggie.

Elon Ruffled

 

A judge in Delaware has said Elon can't have his $55.8bn pay deal.

The story is covered by many news outlets including here and here.

The gist of it is that a Tesla share-holder thought that it was too much money for the company he has shares in to be paying out.  And also that Musk “enjoyed thick ties with the directors tasked with negotiating on behalf of Tesla, and dominated the process that led to board approval of his compensation plan”  They argued the huge pay award was designed to ensure that Mr Musk, "would continue to dedicate his attention to the company".

What!? You mean while he also continues to dedicate his attention to Twitter, SpaceX, The Boring Company and sticking microchips into people's heads?

And now Elon has taken umbrage in true Donald Trump style with some whining on Twitter (as we all call it)

He tweeted, "Never incorporate your company in the state of Delaware.  I recommend incorporating in Nevada or Texas if you prefer shareholders to decide matters." 

Err - I think in this case a shareholder HAS managed to decide matters.

He then posted a poll asking his followers whether or not Tesla should "change its state of incorporation to Texas, home of its physical headquarters"

I don't know what the Venn Diagram of Tesla shareholders and Musk Twitter followers looks like but it doesn't sound like a particularly relevant bit of market research.

What amuses me most on this story though, is that the shareholder in question is a former thrash-metal drummer (according to Newsweek) who not only "made a mohawk that lights up while I'm playing drums" but who also only owns 9 shares in Tesla.  Brilliant.

Toyota 1120000, RAM 243

If I recall correctly, two weeks ago I pointed out Tesla winning a Recall score with Toyota.

Now Toyota have fought back and, along with their posher brethren over at Lexus, recalled approximately 1.12 million cars which have airbags that may not understand if there is a child in the deployment zone or not.

This is on the same day that RAM announced it was recalling 243 RAM 1500s.

Funnily enough the RAM 1500 DOESN'T have a 1500cc engine - this differentiates it from the Triumph 1500 which did.

Anyway, it took me some time to get my head around this story.

"Due to a manufacturing defect, the locking bracket installed to secure the centre front seat in the down position may not operate as intended.

This seating position is not fitted with a seatbelt and could be used by an occupant if the locking bracket does not function correctly.

In the event of a collision, an unrestrained occupant would be exposed to the risk of serious injury or death."

So they are saying that the front-central seat lock-down bracket can fail meaning that you could use the front-central seat as a seat.

At this point, I should point out that I got these stories, like a lot of my recall stories, from Australian site drive.com.au

RAMs converted to right-hand drive for the Aussie market have the front central seat fixed down so it can't be used - don't know why - I guess it must be something to do with the conversion.

So if the lock-down bracket fails and the seat actually CAN physically be used as a seat, why not install the seatbelt?  Otherwise, rather than have a locked-down seat, take it out altogether and put some storage there.  It feels like the Yanks are mocking the Aussies - G'Day Bruce, look at this seat we won't let you sit on!

"Owners have been told to not allow occupants to use the front centre seat until the repair is completed."

At which point, they won't be able to sit on the front centre seat!

Strewth!

Tesla 2000000, Toyota 1

That isn't an impressive home win for Tesla.

Two recall stories today.

Tesla recalls two million cars in the US over Autopilot defect while Toyota recalls one in Australia which hasn't even been sold yet.

Although that should probably read...

Tesla "recalls" two million cars in the US over Autopilot defect while Toyota "recalls" one in Australia which hasn't even been sold yet.

The Tesla recall will involve an over-the-air software update and the Aussie Toyota is already at the local dealers.  Here's a helpful picture of what the Toyota Supra (for that is what we are discussing) in question would look like (if it's blue and somebody has risked taking it out of the dealership)

I can't recall the actual colour.

Has the shooter been charged?

Not yet - and we don't know if his car has been either.

I'd seen this story on drive.com.au and was planning a light-hearted little post about it - "Two Tesla drivers have been involved in a skirmish – with one driver shot after being sprayed with mace – during a dispute at a charging station near Denver, Colorado."

Maybe I'd have done something about mild-mannered electric car drivers or perhaps something about the ridiculous number of shootings that happen every day in America.

Unfortunately, when I researched this a little further, it became clear that no only was his car charged (he drove away) but the other man died of his injuries.  ABC have the latest here.  Not really "a skirmish" then.

Telling

Some people get very passionate about Tesla - either for or against.

And there has been some questioning of the safety of the Tesla Autonomous driving systems.

But one Tesla fan is so convinced of how safe it is, he is prepared to have one drive at his child.

Sounds like a modern day take on Swiss fictional hero William Tell - famous for shooting an apple off his son's head.

Actually, he is prepared to have one drive at somebody else's child.  Drive.com.au have the story here.

He advertised for someone willing to put their child forward and actually found someone.  The person had to first clear it with his wife - but now that has been sorted it looks like it will be going ahead this weekend.

It's not as horrific as it sounds - the car will be travelling at 5mph and have someone sat in the driving seat to override the system if need be.

Not exactly folklore then.

Water and Electricity

They aren't supposed to mix are they?

Well Tesla are absolutely encouraging it.

This story from Drive.au explains how they have put a mini swimming-pool at one of their recharging stations in Germany.

It is heated - by solar energy of course.

It only accommodates four people though.

But there are some branded balls to play with:

I wonder if they also supply diving gloves?

Make for the Border

 Here's a picture of the approach to the Wallasey Mersey Tunnel.

In the olden days, the "ATTENDED" lanes were called "MANNED" 

I have no idea how offended the women working there were by that.

Meanwhile, in Mexico, there seems to be a lane for a specific makes of cars crossing in to the US:

The other lanes (thinking back to my O-Level Spanish) are:

• Cars Only
• Lorries and cows
• Joint Despatch (I presume this is drug smuggling)
• Cold Stuff

This is from a Drive.com.au story.

But wait, that isn't a Tesla in the Tesla lane!

Apparently, that lane is for goods being transported to the Tesla facility in Austin, Texas.

Next they'll be telling us that down the M53 from the Mersey Tunnel there is a lane that isn't reserved for people driving Vauxhalls:

Broke

It looks like Fox News are getting uppity about Bloggers posting links to their stories so if these links are broke, you'll have to search their site if you want to learn more.

Anyway, talking of broken things and brakes:

According to Fox News, Charles Leclerc has "wrecked" a $1.5 million vintage Ferrari.

This vintage Ferrari:

Niki Lauda's from the 1974 F1 Season.

I put "wrecked" in quotes since what he has actually done is effectively backed it into a barrier damaging the rear wing a lot - and probably other stuff but he still drove it away from the incident.

The cause was brake failure.

As opposed to failure to use the brakes:

That spectacular crash, also reported by Fox, HAS actually wrecked the car...

...and a bit of a convention centre.

Nobody in the building was injured and the driver, miraculously, is in a stable condition in hospital.  He told the police that he had lost control of the brakes - more like he hit the accelerator instead of the brake.  Then he hit a concrete planter instead of the brake.  Then he hit a convention centre instead of the brake.

Pilots Take Flight

Hit-and-Run is a serious crime.  And somebody in the Australian state of Victoria has been critically injured so I'm not going to make light of it.

But the driver is blaming her car.

The Drive story is here.

She can't be too bright because when she did the "run" bit, she did it on foot leaving the car behind.

It's a Tesla and she claims it was in "auto-pilot" mode.  I'm sure the car will be able to tell the Victorian Police what mode it was in at the time, but even if it was driving, as Tesla keep pointing out, the person sat in the driver's seat is still in charge.

I think Tesla really could do with renaming that feature.

Apparently, when this comes to Court, there will be much interest in the outcome from a legal responsibility point of view and also from an insurance payout point of view.

But at least she was caught.

Unlike the paraglider pilot in this story.