But Seriously...

Last month, The BBC announced what many people believe to be the end of Top Gear as a UK television programme.

They then announced that the last bit of the last Grand Tour had been filmed.

One of those saddened me more than the other.

Hagerty have now produced a very interesting article  by James Mills suggesting that we need a new, proper car show rather than an entertainment show.   It also points out how the success of Top Gear 2002 (as I think of the Clarkson era) was down to the hard work and skills of Jeremy Clarkson and Andy Wilman - which would explain the success of The Grand Tour.

It is a very well written article - apart from where Sabine Schmitz is described as "a little-known German racing driver."  You may not have heard of her James, but true Top Gear fans know exactly who she was.

The article goes on to say why Top Gear was never going to match the Wilman/Clarkson era and how we need a proper motoring show now more than ever - especially as the motoring world is evolving into an electrically-powered world.

In a way we have that though thanks to YouTube.  I get most of my motoring fixes that way now subscribing to about ten different channels.  I even have my own channel - not that I think I'll ever use it.  I only created it so that I could add a reply to someone commenting on a Lotus Europa in the background of this video.

But, if you are not a fan of Youtube, maybe you should write to the BBC and tell them to take note of the words of the prescient young-ish blogger who wrote this 10 years ago.

Sandero Logo's to GoGo.

 The Dacia logo is quite rubbish really:

I mean, what on Earth is that meant to be?

A boot release handle?

Upside down it could be the top of a car seat.

So here is the new one:

Double ended tuning fork?

It is meant to be the D and C from Dacia - the Autocar story is here.  It sort of reminds me of the badge on the front of a certain iconic car from the '80s:

Which in turn, mustn't be confused with this:

Anyway, walk this way and see how the logo does actually look quite good on the front of their concept small SUV:

Just a shame it is a small SUV.

Anyway, in some nice news, take a look at this:

No, it's not a graph or a weird steering wheel design - it is highlighting part of another famous graphic which has been renamed in honour of the late, great Sabine Schmitz.  That story, from the Top Gear website, is here.

I Fancy Tina Fey

 

Who wouldn't?

Well, I suppose a homosexual gentleman might not.  Although I have two gay friends who don't know each other and both fancy Kate Bush so who knows?

But that isn't what this post is about.

Women always claim to be attracted to men with a sense of humour.

I don't believe that.  I'm always considered my self quite funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word not the "peculiar" sense of the word) but women have never thrown themselves at me.

Now, while it is possible that I am not funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word), I really don't wish to countenance that idea.

Besides, I've noticed that women actually tend to go for tall, handsome men, irrespective of sense of humour.

I, on the other hand, generally find myself fancying women who are in to their cars - Vicki Butler-Henderson, Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd and, more recently, Helen Stanley:

I would even forgive the tattoos.

I do also fancy Nigella Lawson but of you type "Nigella Lawson car" into Google, it wants to take you to "Nigella Lawson carrot cake"

Don't put vegetables into cakes!

Anyway, to finally get to the point, Tina Fey has finally bought her first car. Car+Driver have the story under the annoying headline:

Tina Fey Bought Her First Car during Lockdown, and It Might Surprise You

Normally I wouldn't touch a story like that because it would be some crap piece of click-bait but I like Car+Driver, I like Tina Fey and I like cars.

The gist of the story is that she bought a white Subaru Forrester - a fine enough car that I have no strong views about one way or another but I suppose it is a bit boring.

I was more shocked by Jimmy Fallon's admission that he had never heard of it.

Car+Driver misquote her a bit saying "her husband urged her to buy something fun, like a Mini Cooper or a Jeep (this is the point in the interview when it becomes clear that the Fey household is an expert-free zone when it comes to car shopping)"

According to Tina, her husband suggested "a Mini Cooper or something exciting like a Jeep or a BMW or something" I suppose a Jeep could be exciting depending in where you take it and some BMWs are certainly exciting but I think I'd have suggested a Ferrari or Aston Martin.

But she isn't a car person.

And yet I still fancy her.

I think it could be that she is a very funny lady (in the "ha ha" sense of the word)

Pointless

There is something wrong with the British public.

Actually, we already knew that - Boris Johnson and Brexit prove that.

But they seem ignorant on important matters too.

There must also be something wrong with Top Gear.

I've just been watching Pointless.  They had a round on Top Gear presenters - 16 photos and the contestants had to identify the presenters in the photos.

Obviously I knew them all so I decided to go with Jon Bentley - I figured he was a shoe-in to be a pointless answer.

Here are the results straight from the TV on my bedroom wall:

Two members of the British public knew who Jon Bentley is.

Two also knew who Sabine Schmitz is.

BUT ONLY ONE KNOWS WHO CHRIS HARRIS IS!

And nobody knows who Vicki Butler-Henderson is!

Crazy!

Jeremy was top scorer and those famous for other things all scored highly too.

I'm not convinced that when Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, said that Top Gear was Kate Humble's big break in TV, that he was right.  I seem to remember her already being famous and her joining Top Gear and me thinking that she was a poor choice since she seemed to know bugger all about cars and driving - how history repeats itself.

And then Richard Osman pointed out that Tiff Needell ought to be Tiffany Dell and Alexander Armstrong asked him what Tiff was short for - Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, got it wrong.

He needs to read my blog.

Goodbye, Old Friend

Yesterday, The BBC told us that Matt LeBlanc will be leaving Top Gear.

That's a shame.  I liked him in that role.  Even when he said "Top Gear" with the emphasis wrong.

 

We've still got him for the next series though - so there's no need to worry just yet.

 

Although the BBC have already started speculating about his replacement.

 

Bit soon I think.

 

Strictly speaking, they don't actually need to replace him - but three presenters does seem to work very well for this type of show.

 

They could give a bigger input to Eddie Jordan and/or the lovely Sabine Schmitz.

 

The speculation currently includes Jodie Kidd - yes, I'll give that a thumbs up.

 

There's also Guy Martin - I could see that being OK.

 

There's also Dermot O'Leary and Rebecca Jackson.

 

No thank you.

 

Maybe they should look elsewhere within the cast of Friends:

Now I really like Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston but I'm not sure of their motoring pedigree.  While I quite like Lisa Kudrow, her character Phoebe annoyed me beyond belief so it's a no from me.

 

No, we need to look elsewhere within the world of US sitcoms.

 

Frasier? How I Met Your Mother? Big Bang Theory?

 

Ah, got it!

 

A right-wing Clarkson-esque elderly idiot:

The Magnificent Seven

So here it is...

...in Chris Evans' own words...

The new Top Gear line-up!

Not bad - not sure I'd go as far as "magnificent" (but that's probably only because I've not heard of one of them)

Eddie Jordan was a pleasant surprise - I enjoy a dour expert who isn't afraid to put over his point and get a good argument going.

Obviously, LeBlanc came on board this time last week.

I'm also very pleased that the lovely Sabine Scmitz is in there but I also know that the "politically correct" comments will have begun - especially since the unknown guy is a "gentleman of colour" - am I allowed to say that?  I'm sure these choices will wind up many people who thoroughly deserve to be wound up.

Tough.

So, roll on May.  (not James May)

Car Matt

After much speculation, we now know the name of Chris Evans' first co-host on new Top Gear.

It's Matt LeBlanc!

This is a major departure for him.

This is because he has never starred in a show with more than one word in the title before.

Speculation in December concentrated on the names Sabine Schmitz, Chris Harris & David Coulthard.  I guess that speculation didn't look far enough away from Europe.  I would be happy if any or all of these three joined the show - it doesn't have to have exactly three presenters after all - and these three are racers or motoring journos, my favourite two categories of people to present TV car shows.

Something that Chris Evans and Matt LeBlanc are not.

But Top Gear is not so much a TV car show so much as an entertainment, nay comedy, show with a big car content.

I'm very happy.  Both have proved themselves car-wise and Matt led the Star-in-a-Reasonably-Priced-Car leaderboard for quite a while.

It was always going to be a very difficult job replacing Jeremy, James and Richard. They seem to be going about it the right way.  Very impressive casting.

Now we need some very impressive writing.

Wonder if Matt knows any good comedy writers?

2013 Astra For Sale

Seemed to be very reasonably priced too.

Actually it wasn't.  The e-Bay Auction finished this morning and it went for £17800 which is quite a lot for a 2013 Astra.

Especially one that can't be legally driven on UK roads.

Even if Will Smith has had a go in it.

But it was for charity - the auction - not the Will Smith bit.

It is the most recent Top Gear "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car" car.  I found the story on the Fox News Site.  Can't say it's been well publicised.

You do get a look at the driver's view though.

Don't know why but I was expecting something different to Astra bog-standard.

I guess this means that this car will not be featuring in the new look show.  This may mean that the whole "Star in a Reasonably Priced Car" segment could be dead.

Or they've just chosen another new car.

The Telegraph have been speculating a bit on the new series lately.  In this article, they claim that Chris Evans is giving up TFI Friday (I don't usually agree with The Telegraph but I did think it was a bit much him taking on that as well as his radio show and Top Gear) and on the new presenters.

I have heard that he will be joined by the names mentioned - Sabine Schmitz, Chris Harris & David Coulthard and, I have to say, if it's right, then that is a very strong team.

More than reasonable in fact.

Top Near?

With the departure of Jeremy, lots of questions are being asked about the future of Top Gear.

• What will happen to the unshown episodes?
• Will it continue?
• Who would present it?
• What will Jeremy do next?
• What will Richard & James do next?
• Why am I asking these questions?

I'll take the last one first.  Top Gear has a lot of fans and Jeremy's contract was not renewed after his "fracas" - I went into more detail not long after it happened.  In that, I speculated that Jodie Kidd would be a good replacement - break up the testosterone a bit.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

What will happen to the unshown episodes?

They will be shown - or the already-filmed bits will anyway.

Will it continue?


Yes.

Who would present it?


Well, now isn't that the interesting bit?  This would hinge on whether we were just replacing Jeremy or replacing all three presenters. (I'm not including The Stig in this because he has been replaced at least twice and nobody really cared.)

If it was a straight-swap for Jeremy - middle-aged grumpy white bloke - then I would give the job without question to Jason Plato - I love hearing his quotes when something has gone wrong for him in the BTCC.

Today, however, James has been speaking to The Guardian and basically ruled himself out of appearing in Top Gear without Jeremy.  This would probably mean that Richard would do the same.

So we need three new presenters.  Channel controller Kim Shillinglaw has the job of finding these presenters - and she may be inclined to go along the female route.

My dream team in this case would be Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd & Vicki Butler-Henderson.

Looks like former presenter Angela Rippon has thrown her name into the ring (not to be confused with "The 'Ring" which is where Sabine Schmitz made her name) - I can remember Angie as a Top Gear presenter but that was when it was a sensible car show.

Sue Perkins is another name linked with the job - in fact the bookmakers had her down as favourite - I don't know why - she has shown no interest in cars whatsoever as far as I know.  Sue then became the victim of all sorts of threats from various morons unhappy about the idea - I concur wholeheartedly with James' response.

I hope Kim will be casting these roles to people who do actually have an interest in cars, though.  In fact, I hope Andy Wilmin, the show's producer, has the final say.

What will Jeremy do next?


Another car show.

What will Richard & James do next?

Another car show - possibly with Jeremy.  They will probably also still be contracted to the BBC for their other projects (Total Wipeout, Manlab etc.) even though their Top Gear contracts have expired.  This could prevent them doing "Clarkson, May & Hammond" on Sky TV - for a while at least.  James sees the door still open for a return of the three of them with Top Gear on the BBC in the future - I don't see any legal reasons why not but I just don't envisage it.

They could remake Last of The Summer Wine though.

A lot has happened since these youngish men...

 ...became these oldish men...

And I'm sure the story isn't over yet.

The Guardian had the scoop interview with James today.

They also had this suggestion which I like a lot.  A heck of a lot.  Click on it.  Think regeneration Doctor Who style.

  Top Marx.

Mutually Beneficial

The BBC should become the UK's biggest mutual company to make it more accountable to licence fee payers - so says former culture secretary Dame Tessa Jowell.  The BBC report it here.

Mutual companies do not have external shareholders but all members of the company are considered owners. Money is reinvested back into the company rather than paid out as dividends.

I would like to be a member of the BBC.

If I was a member of the BBC, I might have had a say in the disposal of the F1 rights which led me to declare that I'd had it with the BBC.

I might also have a say in commissioning a new motoring show for BBC2.

But, I hear you say, BBC2 already has a brilliant motoring show called "Top Gear."

I agree - it does.  In fact Top Gear is my favourite show of any genre on television - it's even better than QI.

But I also want a show that is a bit more about the cars themselves - and accessories and racing and motoring law - and the sort of things you might read about on a car blog named after a small car from British Leyland.  I've been watching a couple of the old Top Gears from the '80s and '90s on Youtube and I want a show like that.  Or like Channel 4's Driven before they made it juvenile.

It would have to be on the BBC for two reasons:

1. Impartiality - they mustn't be afraid of upsetting motoring manufacturers who could sponsor them - allegedly Toyota refused to let Jeremy Clarkson test-drive any more of their cars after he called the Corolla "dull" in a review.
2. Profitability - I don't believe that enough people watch ordinary car programmes to make then viable commercially.  This leads to daft competitions that cost £1.50 to enter and added contrived "entertainment" like they put in the otherwise enjoyable Classic Car Rescue - this can be really cringeworthy to watch but seems to draw in the viewers.

The new show would be called "Second Gear" (or "Fourth Gear" if they showed it on BBC Four) and would need some decent presenters.  Definitely not the ones from "I Want That Car" - my review of which has garnered a very large number of hits for some reason - no comments, just hits.

I liked the old Top Gear presenters, Sue Baker, Chris Goffey and William Woollard so wouldn't object to any of them coming back although dare I say they are probably a bit long in the tooth nowadays?  William Woollard's style with a foot on the bumper of the car he was discussing has led to an Internet craze which had passed me by until I read this from the Metro newspaper (no relation).

But the lineup I'd probably plump for would be former Driven host Mike Brewer as the front man assuming I could prise him away from The Discovery Channel. I've got a leather jacket just like that by the way: 

Maybe Jason Dawe (Used Car Roadshow and series 1 of the revamped Top Gear before they decided James May would be a better fit) for the more serious, practical items:

Tom Ford (ex of Fifth Gear and still of TopGear Magazine) for road tests: 

And Sabine Schmitz for the racy stuff:

A half an hour show every Thursday evening.  Just before "Dave Allen at Large."  Sorted.

 

Oh, and can we have "Gardener's World" followed by "One Man and His Dog" on a Friday again please?