Three for All

Happy St.Stephen's Day!

If Good King Wenceslas is looking out on the feast of motoring news this Christmas, he will have spotted the big story which is the potential merger of Nissan, Honda and Mitsubishi.

The story came out with this photo:

Assuming they are standing in front of their respective logos, the Mitsubishi guy looks slightly less unhappy with the deal than the other two.

It took me a while to work out what that photo reminded be of.

At first I thought of Kraftwerk - maybe performing Autobahn:

But they have lecturns.

And there are four of them.

As I have mentioned before, here and here for example, three is the magic number - although I was talking about Top Gear at the time at the start of the Chris Evans era.

You don't hear of him nowadays.

But maybe that is a clue as to what the photo reminds me of:

Except they look too relaxed.

And they are stood in the wrong order - Hammond is definitely Mitsubishi and Clarkson is definitely Nissan.

This photo is a bit closer:

Sir Kier even has the pose right.

But this is the photo that captures the mood best:

Now, what sort of vehicle will these three automotive icons come up with?

How about this?

Electric Generation

I am Generation X so I like Ford Capris.

My children are Generation Z so they like Instagram - or, as those of us down with the kids know it, Insta.

There is news this week of electric cars for both groups this week.

Autocar and Auto Express are both reporting the new Ford Capri which is set to be launched in a couple of weeks...

No, that doesn't look much like a Ford Capri to me either.

Meanwhile, Jack from The Fully Charged Show, takes us on a tour of the Hyundai Insta - sorry the Hyundai Inster.

Both of these are cross-over SUVs, or as I prefer to call them, stupid cross-over SUVs.

Just like with the Mustang, Ford will be cashing in on classic car names to flog large numbers of vehicles to people who don't know much about cars.  And they will succeed while seriously turning off the real car fans to the brand.  Just look at he comments under articles about the new Capri.

Here's the only electric Capri that I approve of - I have one in my loft.

Meanwhile, Gen Z are getting a pretty decent car by the look of it - and check out the comments under Jack's piece.

What does this leave for the other generations?

I predict the forthcoming Honda Dailymail for the Boomers and the Mazda Dawsonscreek for the Millennials.

We are supposedly up to Generation Alpha now.

They can have the Tesla Heyduggie.

Integrating

Saw this Car+Driver story today about the new Acura Integra:

We'd call it a Honda.

I like it.  It looks quite snazzy.

And it's not a cross-over SUV!

I wonder what Vauxhall/Opel make of it though?

Look at their Insignia:

Are the differences insignificant?

Genesis Line-Up

I'm more of the Phil Collins time than the Peter Gabriel.

I always think of Collins as a Tory sell-out.  He said he'd leave the country if Labour got in.

Rock and Roll, Phil.

But of course, this is a car blog so I am talking about Genesis the car brand.  They have entered the UK market and their line-up is here.  The G80 is featured in this month's Top Gear magazine - it gets 7 out of 10.

Genesis is the upmarket Hyundai brand.

Like Acura is Honda's, Lexus is Toyota's and Infiniti is Nissan's.

Acura never came to the UK, Lexus is very successful while Infiniti tried but gave up last year.  If they had hung on a bit longer, they could have revelled in Ash Sutton's astonishing success in the BTCC in one of their cars - and maybe sold a few more.

Car+Driver have a story about the new all-electric Genesis GV60 coming to America:

It has a fancy gear-knob described as, "an illuminated 'crystal sphere'"

Being a Korean company selling to America, they won't realise that that choice of car colour makes it look like a Citroen Cactus:

That's All.

Electric Light Vans

Interesting article on the Autocar site today.  It is about Swindon and the effects of the forthcoming closure of the Honda car plant there.

It seems it won't be completely bleak for the workforce.  The Brexit that caused the closure (despite what they claim) has also left a shortage of workers for other industries so there will be other jobs in the area.

Meanwhile, it's all looking bright for Sunderland.  Nissan's car plant was in similar danger of closure but they have announced an expansion to build electric cars and a new plant building electric vehicle batteries.  The Government have negotiated this a part of a deal involving a large input of public money.  Nobody will admit how large but given that it is in the North of England where the Tories are ingratiating themselves with the voters, we can safely assume that we are putting a huge amount in.

The battery plant will be vitally important for the future of the British car industry - trying to import large numbers of batteries from Europe or elsewhere would be a logistical nightmare.

The other site in danger is (or hopefully "was") Vauxhall's plant down the road from me in Ellesmere Port.  It looks like the "Home of the Astra" will become the "Home of Electric Vans".   Not particularly exciting but a sensible move in the current climate.

More exciting would be building a different electric vehicle.

This I really like:

Although the eyes are a bit scary.

It is an E-Legend EL1 - modelled on the Audi Quattro.  There will only be 30 of them and they will sell for about £1 Million each - shame - it's just out of my price range.

It mustn't be confused with the Honda Legend which, unlike the Civic, Accord, Jazz and CR-V, has never been built at their Swindon plant.

And now, it never will.

Opportunity Knocks for Vauxhall

Here's a story for the Brexiteers to cling on to.

 

It involves the tranquil Mediterranean fishing village of Ellesmere Port (pronounced L.S.Meer Portay)

 

Actually it's pronounced as it's spelled - only with a Scouse accent.

 

I drive past it every day on my way to work.

It's where a lot of Vauxhall/Opel Astras are built.

 

And will hopefully continue to be built after Brexit.  The boss of PSA who own the Vauxhall and Opel brands is reported as stating in this Autocar article, that Brexit may be a good opportunity for Vauxhall.

 

He may be right.

 

A British-badged vehicle built on this side of any tariffs that may be imposed could be a winner.

 

He is quoted thusly, "I am not facing Brexit always on the dark side of this outcome: there may be for the Vauxhall brand an opportunity for us. We are managing our marketing communications in the UK in a way that is very supportive of a British brand in the UK."

If his English is a little stunted, it is infinitely better than my Portuguese (his nationality) and my French which is presumably the language he spends a lot of time talking in.  This is him, Carlos Tavares:

He was almost certainly correct with,

"We prepare for the two outcomes and will deal with them when it comes up. Most probably there’s going to be a delay, which gives us a little more visibility for 2019."

Although the quote that I, as a devout Remoaner, mostly picked up on was,

"We can go on the dark side and say ‘perhaps we have to shut down plants’, and if we have to make difficult decisions we will."

Vauxhall/Opel only assemble Astras and Vivaro vans in the UK which they also assemble in Poland and France respectively so what about the Opel-badged vehicles?  And the rest of the Vauxhall range?

Nissan has already part-blamed Brexit from stopping the X-Trail in Sunderland while Honda is refusing to blame it for shutting it's Swindon factory but I think that has more to do with the fact that their customer-base is old people.

For the sake of the local economy and people I know who work there, I hope that Vauxhall Ellesmere Port goes on to thrive.

And I mean that most sincerely, folks, I really do.

Here’s What the Future of Acura Sedans Will Look Like.

What?  A Mazda parked somewhere dark?

I hate these teaser pictures.  Unhelpful and designed to get people talking about products they don't normally bother about.

Like I am now.

This is the Autoguide story I took the Post Title from.

This is better from Car+Driver.

The car is a Concept for the Detroit Auto-Show next month and it is called "The Precision Concept".  Since Acura is the Honda for posh-people, I'm getting a whiff of pretension here.

“The Acura Precision Concept will signal the stronger and sharper focus of Acura styling on our core DNA we call ‘precision crafted performance’,” said Dave Marek, global creative director for the Acura brand. “It is our intention to more strongly express performance through design and the Acura Precision Concept will serve as the inspiration for the styling and proportion of the next-generation of Acura vehicles, especially for our sedans.”

I'd call it  "The Acura Pretension Concept".

Precisely.

What a Privilege

This mildly intriguing headline caught my eye on the Telegraph Motoring site:

Beware the silver Honda – the new menace of our time

Wow.  So I read on.  I mean, what could be so menacing about a car favoured by the more elderly driver?

Here's the story.  The gist is that a recent survey has found that British people find the type of car that commits the most offences is a silver Honda.  That is their wording by the way - I know that the drivers commit the offences - not usually the cars.

I suppose that there could just be one very prolific bad driver out there who lives near to where the survey was conducted and who happens to have a silver Honda.

Apparently, Audi drivers – who I would have put top – came top in just two areas: tailgating, and pulling out too slowly from junctions.  Tailgating most definitely and replace the word "slowly" with "quickly" and I'll agree the second point too.

So I decided to try and find out a bit more about the survey, described in the story as being "compiled by Privilege car insurance".

I couldn't find that survey but I did find a link to this Mirror story from July.  This stated that Lincoln and Portsmouth were the worst British cities for road-rage and that "Men aged 69, 79 and 50 are the top three worst offenders while women aged 39 are fourth most likely"  I turn 50 next year and my in-laws live in Manchester which came 10th in the city category so I'll need to be extra careful when visiting them for Christmas 2016.  This is all "according to a study by insurance firm Privilege."

I also found a link to a Huffington Post story from May declaring that "Women Are Better Drivers Than Men, According To A New Survey."  Clearly wrong, but that's beside the point - guess who the survey was by.  If you just guessed Aviva, re-read this post and try again.

I guess it must be cheaper to conduct a quick survey and send it as a story to a media outlet than to do good old-fashioned advertising.

But is it as effective?

Our survey says "NO".

That's Mazda Price!

No it isn't.  This Post has nothing to do with Mazda (or Asda) for that matter - but it does have a bit to do with Asda rivals Tesco.

And several news stories from the past two days.

I've just filled up my car with petrol.  At Tescos.  I was particularly amazed (you'll be amazed at a Mazda) because the receipt printer at the self-serve pump was actually working.  This is the first time in approximately 12 months that the receipt printers have been working - what is the point of having self-serve pumps if you have to go into the kiosk to get a receipt?

I was also amazed at the price - for the first time on yonks, I paid under £1 a litre:

This is down to two factors:

Factor 1 is the 12p a litre off thanks to Tesco Clubcard Fuelsave (more about that shortly)  Things are obviously looking up for Tesco - thanks to people like me, their Christmas takings were better than expected and they've got their pump receipt printers sorted.

Factor 2 is that the cost of Brent Crude has dipped below $50 a barrel.  The BBC have that covered here.  Basically, America and the Middle East are all over-producing their oil so the price is tumbling.  Middle Eastern countries such as Saudi Arabia & Iraq but not so much Jordan.

Jordan - not to be confused with the bimbo who calls herself Jordan or the BTCC Driver (and former champion) Andrew Jordan.  Now he is in the news because he has just joined the MG Triple-Eight Team.  He will be taking the place vacated by Jason Plato who is "considering other options" - that story is covered by Autosport.  I hope Jason stays with the BTCC - he clearly wants to and he hints at involvement of another manufacturer team - I wonder if he'll take his main sponsor with him  - now who was that? - oh yes, Tesco Clubcard Fuelsave - the scheme  whereby you get money off fuel if you spend lots in the store.

I believe I covered that before it even started.  And I added at the end of that article a couple of puns that were very funny - including "That's Mazda Price!"

Because it sounds like "That's Asda Price"

OK, I'll get my coat.

Beer Wagon

It is SEMA Time!

 

What is SEMA?  Well, SEMA stands for "Speciality Equipment Market Association" and every year they hold a big motor show with lots of pimped up cars, vans and other vehicles.  I first heard of it through watching American Hot-Rod with Boyd Coddington regularly unveiling his creations there.

 

The big manufacturers are also interested with contributions this year from Honda, Mazda and Toyota to name but three and some nicely tricked out vans from Mercedes that I particularly liked.

 

The SEMA 2014 Website is pretty good but does point out something I hadn't realised before - this is a TRADE ONLY event, mere members of the public can't go along!  I don't think writing a semi-serious car blog would class me as being part of the trade - shame.

 

Obviously, the American car press is full of SEMA at the moment but also the Brits and Aussies are also seeming quite enthusiastic.  That was acouple of links to cars that stood out to those journos.  Here's the one I like:

It started out as a standard, boring Kia Sedona but has been converted into a mobile bar selling Ballast Point products.  Ballast Point are a brewery/distillery formed during the last Century (1996 to be precise).  Autoguide have the story of this beer wagon here.

 

I like it because it combines two of my favourite things - beer and cars.

 

I had a look on Google Images to see if anything combined three of my favourite things - beer, cars and football. Plenty of interesting images did come up but none that met my remit - so here is a picture of Loic Remy: 

- a footballer found guilty earlier this year of drink-driving.

How do you get four elephants in a Mini?

Two in the front, two in the back

How do you get four giraffes in a Mini?

You can't - it's full up with elephants.

In my day, people broke records for the number of people they could crush into a Mini.

It still happens.

But that's a new Mini not a proper Mini.  They're bound to get more in.

 

That photo (and record)  appear in this plug for the new Guinness Book of World Records book that is appearing in MSN Cars at the moment - a plethora of motoring records.

 

As plugs go, it is quite an interesting one.  Partly because not only does it feature Edd China in a couple, but it also features the Honda BTCC Team in a couple.  Win-win as far as I'm concerned.

 It also features the longest car in the World, complete with helipad and helicopter:

I particluarly like the fastest bathroom including Edd China, dirty washing and rubber duckies: 

and also this VW Scirocco which hasn't won the "most boring" title (I can think of many candidates for that category - Japan and Korea I'm looking at you) but has won the most powered by coffee category - a Sciroccocino if you will.

Holey Unacceptable

I was on the Mail Motoring site yesterday and found this picture which I though would be worth a mention in my Blog:

It is from this story about an Octogenarian woman in Bel Air who flipped her Honda then posed with her husband for some selfies.  The picture is even more amusing thanks to the gentleman's belt height and a woman in the background dressed as a flame.  Nobody was hurt and they are obviously a game couple.

 

So I went back to the Mail today with a bit more time on my hands to do something on that story when I found an even funnier one.

 

This is it.

 

It is about this man, Robert Goodwill MP, seen here posing with a pot-hole app. 

And potholes are relevant to the story.

 

For he has come out and said on LBC Radio (and he's even got it on his own Website) that:

 

More potholes are appearing on Britain’s roads because the recovering economy means more people have jobs and are driving to work

 

and

 

Roads are also suffering more “wear and tear” because people were also buying more things and so more “goods are travelling around the country"

 

He also suggested that more potholes would appear as the economy recovers and more vehicles take to the road.

 

Ludicrous.  He wants us to believe that the poor state of the roads is down to the Government's economic successes.

 

We are getting more pot-holes as a result of the wettest Winter in years combined with poor maintenance and cheaper options used when building the roads in the first place.  Government cutbacks to local council funding has just exacerbated the situation.

 

Even the right-wing Mail readers attack the Government in the comments section of that story.

 

Mr Goodwill is, incidentally not "The Roads Minister" as The Mail call him, he is a Parliamentary Under-Secretary in the Department for Transport.

 

The Oldham Evening Chronicle in the old pot-hole story that I nicked that picture from also call him "The Roads Minister" - maybe that is what he tells journalists that he is.

 

One thing he definitely did tell the Oldham journalist is “Historically, we have underfunded road maintenance.”

 

Indeed.

Drivel 2022

Sounds like a desktop computer doesn't it? Maybe from the mid-1990s.

It's actually a GM plan for the future prosperity of the Vauxhall Opel Group.

It is outlined in a story in Autocar yesterday. The article tells us that "Under the plan, which was approved six weeks ago by GM's main board,
 Vauxhall-Opel will cut fixed costs by $500m by mid-decade, launch 23 new models and 13 new engines between now and 2016 and start building non Opel-Vauxhalls" and it "will also expand and implement the recently announced alliance with PSA." That follows on from my story a few months back in which I voiced my concerns about a possible merger with PSA, the French group behind Citroën and Peugeot.

It appears that this is the latest of many rescue/restructuring plans but there's not too much management-speak - apart from “Vauxhall 
is an example of best practice” and “not to include hope as part of the strategy" which are not too bad really when you think about it. I've checked out the photos of GM Europe
 president Steve Girsky and vice CEO Thomas Sedran and neither of them look like this manager:

or, if you happen to be American...

so there's a bit of hope there to go with the strategy.

The new car sales situation is very mixed at the moment - looking at the BBC Global Car Industry News page today is showing Ford taking on 2200 workers in America because of increased sales with BMW and Rolls Royce reporting record sales. There are also reports of increased car sales in both Japan and the UK.

However, they also report Honda laying of 800 UK staff blaming weak demand across Europe and that Ferrari sales slump in Italy. Perhaps more significantly for this item, Peugeot Citroen hit by 'crisis' in European car sales.

I live quite close to a Vauxhall factory and know people who work there. The GM management-speak here does seem positive and they do seem to have a 10-year plan which is unusually forward thinking these days.



Oh, my eyesight! It says "DRIVE! 2022"

Honda Uni-Cub

I'm not sure this should be in a Car Blog but Autoguide pointed me at it and it is about a Honda vehicle:It is a very funny video in a "this is laughable" sort of way.

The "thing" is controlled by leaning but can also be controlled using a little TV remote control unit that you hold in your lap. I suppose it could be fun if you got hold of someone else's remote control. It would probably also be fun to race a couple of them around a building - until you came to a set of stairs - which is where you get to the conclusion that I was reaching more and more as every second of the video passed.

WHY NOT JUST WALK!?

Really lazy people might think it is a good idea but I suspect that they would be too fat to use it. Would it benefit disabled people? Doubt it - I reckon there would be issues about staying on if you couldn't use your legs.

To be charitable, I suppose this is more of a research exercise - and it has to be admitted it is very clever how it works without tipping over but...

...if you want to drive about indoors, Jeremy has already provided us with the solution: