Bad News for Elon (and Donald)

Not that the trillionaire with fascist tendencies will be that bothered.

Autoguide today are suggesting that the Cybertruck might be a flop.

Registration data shows that U.S. registrations hit a record quarterly low of just 3,519 units in the first quarter of 2026, marking a 45.1% drop compared to the same period in 2025.

Oops.

But what about elsewhere?

Tesla also officially sells the Cybertruck in Mexico, Canada, South Korea, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, and Saudi Arabia.

It's not even legally allowed on the roads in the UK.

I can't imagine the Canadians or Mexicans are buying many.

Back in January, Torque News also suggested that the Cybertruck might be a flop.

And they had this excellent picture which I'm happy to credit them with:

And, it looks like a lot of the American sales are internal corporate fleet purchases from other Elon Musk-led ventures such as SpaceX.

So how is that working out?

Meanwhile, Elon's former best friend isn't doing too well with his latest venture either.

About a fortnight ago, I reported on A White House promoted scheme to sell cheap fuel to Americans in certain States who had noticed that the Iran War was badly affecting their everyday costs.

Well, that went well.

Con-Oil

I see the Iran War is kicking off again.

The idiot Trump negotiated a worse deal than the Obama one and then couldn't keep the peace.

This means that fuel prices have already started rising.

Just as they had started to go down from the peak days of Trump's War:

But don't worry!  The White House has a solution for the mess they created.

As long as you live in certain bits of Pennsylvania or New Jersey.

The Freedom Fuel Network will sell fuel at $3.47 per US Gallon.

The 47 cents is a tribute to the 47th POTUS - the moron who caused the prices to skyrocket in the first place.

But the MAGA fans won't understand that.  They will just see the patriotic signage and not realise they have been had again.

Trump watches anyone? Or some Trump crypto perhaps?

It's the same over here will gullible people hanging flags on lampposts because people funded by billionaires would rather we think that immigrants are to blame for UK hardships when tax evasion costs us considerably more.

Don't get me wrong, I'd buy cheap fuel - but it wouldn't alter my views on very obviously corrupt politicians. 

According to Autoguide...

The origins of the network remain highly obscured. Over the course of a single week, 25 independent filling stations across southeastern Pennsylvania (20 locations) and southern New Jersey (5 locations)—which previously operated under branding like Sunoco, Valero, and Shell—abruptly rebranded, hanging patriotic red, white, and blue banners over their existing architecture. Business registries reveal that "Freedom Fuel Network LLC" was quietly incorporated as a private entity in Delaware on June 23, 2026.

A White House official confirmed that the Freedom Fuel Network is a private company and did not receive federal subsidies or government funding. Instead, the administration claims the unnamed, patriotic retailer is lowering prices strictly by drastically reducing its own profit margins to set an example for the rest of the industry.

They are using the word patriotic a lot.  It will be a billionaire friend of Trump and prime for tax write-off.

And what is the significance of Delaware?

This maybe?

Plus, don't forget the Mid-Term Elections coming up this year.

Pennsylvania has a U.S. Senate race with 17 U.S. Representative seats up for grabs.

New Jersey has a U.S. Senate race with 12 U.S. Representative seats up for grabs.

Wonder why they picked those states for the Freedom Fuel?

Three for the Price of One

Three different articles from the motoring Interwebs caught my eye today and since I can't be bothered making three posts, here they are in one handily sized container.

The first is from the BBC.

It involves a spiteful and presumably very jealous woman who shops as The Asda.  She has been caught on camera kicking and damaging a McLaren 570S.

Stupid cow.

Hopefully the pictures will be good enough to get her charged with criminal damage although I doubt if she will become as infamous and vilified as that cat woman.

Next up, how can you tell that someone is ashamed to admit that they vote Tory or Reform?

Easy, they say that all politicians are the same then go on to slag off The Labour Party

Auto Express's Mike Rutherford is very much in that camp.  In that article, he tries to deflect with a little anti-Trump rant but you would have to be Nigel Farage to say anything complimentary about the orange toddler.

Finally, from Autocar, a bit of nostalgia - remember The Beastie Boys?

They seem to have aged a bit.

They also started the craze of stealing VW badges.

Well it's back! 

Albeit for modern times.

Apparently, the modern badges incorporate the radar unit used by their ADAS systems.

This means that the car’s adaptive cruise control, speed limiter and lane assist will not function.

Maybe it's worth not having the Radar then?

Anyone know where you can buy an old VW badge to replace it?

Maybe the Beastie Boys fans were onto something after all.

Chery on Top

Last time I mentioned Chery it was 2013.

Now, one of their brands, Jaecoo, has just topped the UK March car sales figures with its 7.

Not to be confused wth the Lotus 7.

Although it's more likely to be confused with a Range Rover.

It has beaten the Puma into second place.

The Qashqai is third and the Sportage is fourth.  Autocar report the story here.

Stupid SUVs.

They also report a sudden increase of interest in EVs due to a certain orange toddler-pillock stuffing up the World's oil supplies.

I've just asked the Internet how you pronounce Jaecoo.

Apparently it's "Jake who?"

So then I asked it for famous Jakes.  It listed about 30.

But the only one I'd heard of was Jake Gyllenhaal.

Perhaps it was an American site because it didn't come up with Jake Bugg.

Who at least has a car-related name.

I appear to have digressed slightly. 

400 and Out.

Is it really over?

Dennis Collins' Coffee Walk has been something I've loved for years.

A new episode has come out on YouTube every Friday for presumably 400 weeks.

Now he has stated it is over.  He did use the word "Break" - does that mean it may be back?  Or he's just having a holiday?

One commenter was hoping that it was just an April Fool's Prank - I suspect that commenter is not very good at using calendars.  Let's hope Dennis isn't either.

Does this mean that Zach Oncamera will be getting his P45?  His real surname may be Gorgas - I'm not 100% sure.

The final episode involved the purchase of a "Holy Grail" 1965 Ford Mustang "K" Car - which is the one with the biggest engine that Shelby used as a base for his ones.  I've learnt that plus a fair bit about Jeeps and VIN tags by watching Coffee Walk over the years.

He bought it from a Trump fan who had kept it in very good condition - I wonder if he thinks the show is called Covfefe Walk? 

Coffee Walk has always been my signal that the working week is over - it means I can relax and I usually enjoy it with a can of lager or two.  I guess I'll be going back to Gardener's World now - I'll be learning about Hydrangeas and the like.  Wonder how Monty Don and the Cockney bloke who is a good gardener but shouldn't be because he is a Cockney bloke have been getting on?

Oh well, if it really is over, then thank you Dennis and gang for entertaining me.  I'll miss you all.

Catch the 400th (final?) episode here.

Getting Angrier

There's a lot to be angry about in the world today.

There's Crossover SUVs.

There's the Orange Man-baby and his British sycophant, Nigel.

There's Kygo molesting brilliant songs by deceased black female singers.

And there's missing out on the latest upgrades because my Volvo is FROM 2020.

All post-2020 Volvos will receive new 'conversational' Gemini system in massive over-the-air update

That story is from Autocar - a publication I also referenced yesterday.

I regularly check out their website for the daily car news but I don't usually look at their slideshows because I reckon they only have about 8 and they keep repeating them over and over again.

However, today they had a new one - 20 Very Angry Looking Cars!

Now, to look angry, you need to have eyebrows making a V shape and squint a bit.

Clenched fists help but cars can't do that.

So what do the Autocar Angry Cars look like?

The Mitsubishi Delica Mini does look extremely angry - good job they don't sell them here.

The Suzuki Alto Turbo just looks like it is wearing 1970s spectacles.

The Simca 1000 doesn't look angry at all - just mildly perplexed.

The Chevy Rondine concept looks more determined than angry.

Nope - not a clue why this is in here. Now I'm mildly perplexed. Wonder if I'm currently resembling a Simca 1000.

Also not angry - just very ugly with huge and sore nostrils.

And the Gordon Keeble can maybe be described as more grumpy than angry.

The rest of the 20 vary in angryness from not very to a bit.
 

Meanwhile I'm not angry on missing out on the free Volvo software upgrade - I'm used to how I currently interact with my car.

Even if I do find myself arguing with the 2020 voice command system.

In fact, it sometimes makes me angry.

British Bulldog

 No, not the Aston Martin one:

This is the Honda City MkII Turbo.

Or is it a Honda City Turbo MkII?

In either case, it's nickname is the "Bulldog".

Autocar have the story today of a British man who went over to Japan to organise the purchase of one and then ended up buying a second one over here.

Although it looks like a Kei car - it's actually too big and powerful to be one.

But due to it's age, it could be imported into America where the orange man-baby has taken an interest in the genre.

Why can't he stick to getting things wrong on stuff like this rather than being a moron about important stuff? 

Billionaires Shortcomings

Are all billionaire's twats?

Elon Musk clearly is.

And Donald Trump.

And Rupert Murdoch.

And Bernie Ecclestone.

And Philip Green.

And Viscount Rothermere.

This isn't looking good.

But there are thousands of billionaires.

Paul McCartney & Oprah Winfrey seem nice.

And so does Bill Gates.

I've never liked Beyonce's music - until she did Texas Hold 'Em - which I love - and she seems OK as a person too.

So where are all of these billionaires living.

I'd fancy a nice mansion with a big garden and a big garage.

But I'm not rich so that's irrelevant.

It seems car companies are building towers for billionaires to live in.

In Dubai, Bugatti is building its first residential tower. The cheapest apartments are set to cost £3.9m. The less cheap ones will have private lifts meaning that owners can park their cars inside their apartments.  It doesn't say how many cars you can get into an apartment but I love the idea.

Porsche's Design Tower in Miami opened in 2017, while Aston Martin's Residences Miami launched last year.

"Meanwhile, in Texas, Discovery Land Company's upcoming residential Austin Surf Club is centred around a vast man-made surf lagoon."

Is that a Land-Rover Discovery or an Austin project?

Kei Proposals

 The orange man-baby has been waxing lyrical about Kei cars.

He has  called them "cute" and "beautiful."

Car+Driver have the story here.

As usual, he is wrong.

Also as usual with Trump, whoever speaks to him most recently is the one he is in agreement with.

He "touted how smaller cars are more efficient thanks to their smaller engines, and he specifically named brands like Honda and Toyota as potential sources for these machines."

Then he will speak to someone from Ford or the oil industry.

He also spoke about how if these cars were to be made available in The States, that they would need to be built there.

Not convinced - Americans don't have a good history of building small cars.

Charity Case

 

After the recent Panorama Orange Man-Baby Editing scandal, the BBC could do without another embarrassing story.

So they can justifiably be proud about the 2025 Children in Need campaign raising at least £45.5Million.

I even gave them a fiver.

The chairman of Children in Need must be feeling happy right now.

Pity he's just resigned due to a serious motoring offence.

He badly injured a cyclist that he hadn't seen while turning right in an unnecessarily big BMW.

The particularly stupid thing after watching the video was he was turning right FROM a road not INTO the road.

And she was cycling towards him along the same road.

He wasn't indicating but, as already mentioned, he was driving a BMW.

The other stupid thing about this case is that he has resigned due to his conviction just weeks after taking the job.  The offence happened in June - the trial date must have been known for months.  I guess he thought that if he mentioned it in the interview he mightn't have got the job.

Did he think he wouldn't be found guilty though?

Unlikely given that he admitted it.

A sad state of affairs all around.

SUVs Rammed Down our Throats

Another horror story for Halloween...

RAM are going to launch an SUV.

Here's the Car+Driver story.

RAM make trucks and big things.  Unusually for a Brit, I have driven one.  It looked like this one:

Only wasn't missing a hubcap.

I suppose if Ferrari can do an SUV and Rolls Royce can do an SUV then everyone will want to cash in.

This will just be a rebadged other Stellantis model.

And it won't be infesting our shores.

I hope.

It'll just be America.

And they've already got their own horror story.

Trump Tariff on Malaysian Cars

Trump fans haven't quite figured out yet that his tariffs mean that they will be paying more to subsidise tax cuts for the very wealthy - like Donald Trump for example.

And soon they could be paying more for their toy cars as well as their real ones.

Because most of Mattel's toy cars (aka Hot Wheels) are made in Malaysia.

Like this Proton Saga:

Which looks a lot better than the real version.

Which, in turn, looks better than any SUV.

Car+Driver have their take on the story here.

Hot Wheels are currently retailing in Walmart for $1.18 which seems to be very good value.

They'll be nearer $1.50 if Trumps tariffs get passed on.

Which actually still seems like very good value.

But multiply that up by the number they must be selling in the States - and Donald will have a lot to thank American children for.

Miles off

In the olden days, dodgy car dealers would turn back the odometers on vehicles to make them appear to have had less usage - and hence increase their value.

Apparently it involved a drill and the speedo cable.

You can't do that with modern cars.

Now, in the first of two Tesla stories from Reuters this week, they are accused of tampering in the opposite direction.  There is an allegation and matching lawsuit claiming that Teslas over-record their mileage so that the warranties run out quicker.

Another reason not to buy a second-hand Tesla if it's true.

The second story is about investor nervousness about brand damage done by Elon Musk.

They seem relieved that he will be reducing his Trump duties and spending more time with Tesla.

And the share price is going up despite a massive drop in profits.

I guess I don't understand finance.

I would have thought having a Nazi tosser spending MORE TIME running the company would be a bad thing.

Really OMG

Last time, I said that this... 

...wasn't an MG.

And I stand by that.

But was still shocked by the following Auto Express piece:

Not that one, although I shouldn't be shocked that Mike Rutherford is praising Trump - what's the betting he's a member of Reform?

No, this one.

Now MG are teasing a boxy, mid-sized SUV which, according to them, “echoes the spirit of young people to explore.”

The teaser pictures make it look like lots of other boxy SUVs while the remit reminds me of the boxy and now-deceased Scion xB.

The brand became defunct in 2016 after a short life.

I predict a similar fate for the MG SUV - especially as they are naming it after Elon Musk stuff.

Who will buy an MG Cyber X?

They are hoping lots of young Chinese people - they may be right.

But I hope not.

BECAUSE IT IS NOT AN MG!

Another End of The World

And yet another Tesla story and also another Tom Ford car review story.

This time he is reviewing the new Tesla Model Y - the one with a real indicator stalk.

He looks a bit menacing actually...

And yet he seems to be a really nice bloke - I'd like to go for a pint with him and talk cars.

Similarly Lars Moravy.

Who?

Vice president, vehicle engineering at Tesla - Tom interviews him about the new Y in the latest video on the Top Gear Magazine YouTube channel.

But some of the things he says are bit menacing.

Early on we get, "When you sell 1.2 million cars worldwide" casually slipped in to the conversation and "You don't want to break the recipe"  Which is more show-offy than menacing and, to be fair, he was also talking about how the replacement Y had a lot more to live up to than, for example, the Cybertruck.

Lars may end up in trouble if it doesn't emulate its predecessor's success so he must be at least a little concerned about falling Tesla sales which must be at least partly down to his boss - a common new nickname for their vehicles, at least on the socials, is Swastikar.  Also Wankpanzer but I don't understand the pun there - especially as "wank" isn't a generally used US term.

Which is why they didn't find "Wang Care" funny.

Lars described the Y as a "world car" - I suppose it is - it is the top selling car in the World and sold all over the World - I doubt if the previous "World Car" ever managed that.

He said that he felt "so separated from everyone around me when I'm driving" which is also not menacing but but just rather disappointing.

But then he is driving an SUV cross-over.

The bit that menaced me was, "Automony in the US is huge - it's coming here in a few months." - it sounded like the sort of thing that Trump makes up on the spot.  Except, unlike Trump, Morovy is a clever man.  With connections.  What does he know?

He also said, "as we get closer and closer to unsupervised in the US..."

I presume he was talking about self-driving technologies rather than general life.

Wasn't he?

Is he an Igor to Musk's Dr.Frankenstein?

Or maybe just a minion to Musks Gru?

Is clockwork better than electric?

Saw the first episode of a new sitcom last night.

Although it's really a spin-off from an older sitcom.

Motherland has spawned Amandaland.

According to the Guardian, it is aimed at "strung out middle-aged mums" so shouldn't be of any interest to me.

And it perpetuates two tropes about electric cars - one real, one bunkum.

The real one is that you don't have off-road parking, they are a bugger to charge up locally and cheaply.

The bunkum one is that they keep running out of charge.

Here is Amanda in her Tesla.

As it is, the bunkum one doesn't bother me in the slightest.

For two reasons...

• It was essential to the storyline - and it is a VERY FUNNY sitcom.
• It makes Teslas look bad.

I don't like Teslas partly because of their lack of switchgear but mostly because of their odious CEO who I seem to be obsessed with - old Elon.

And it looks like I am not alone.  Here are a couple of very interesting stories about sales plummeting in Europe and the States:

• The Independent
• Motor 1.com

And one about how the Chinese brands are taking sales from Tesla over there.

• CNBC

The Chinese angle is interesting because Musk's current pal Donald is imposing tariffs on Chinese goods coming in to America (maybe he's found someone in America now who can make his MAGA hats) so that will probably include Tesla Model Ys.  And China is putting on reciprocal tariffs which will affect sales of the US built Teslas.

The American angle is also interesting though because the Americans who are not fans of Trump will not want to buy Teslas now. And Trump is very pro-oil and anti-electric so I suspect the bromance won't last too long.

Apparently, only Toyota owners are more likely than Tesla owners to say they will buy the same brand when they come to change their vehicle.  Wonder how long Tesla will hang on to that Number 2 spot?

Now go and watch episode 1 of Amandaland and you may realise that this post should have been called "Is clockwork better than chocolate?"

Everyone Loves Donald

 

No, not the lying, felonious, orange man-baby.

Although it seems a lot of people do love him.

Millions of people in fact.

But I'm talking about Donald Osborne...

...the knowledgeable and dapper vehicle appraiser and regular contributor to Jay Leno's Garage.

I was watching their latest output on YouTube yesterday.  They are clearly great mates and the way he takes Jay's gentle mockery is a pleasure to watch - especially about the concept of their regular segment, "Assess and Caress" in which the idea is for Jay to decide which of three vehicles chosen by Donald has gained most value in the previous 5 years.

Now, I may be wrong, but I suspect that Messrs. Leno & Osborne will not be fans of Donald Trump - unlike the stars of the other American YouTube show I watched yesterday - an episode of Coffee Walk where we were treated to a look around Sean Pettiford's vehicle collection.  Although Trump would call if Covfefe Walk.

What do those millions of fans see in Trump?  He is creepy, he cannot string together a coherent answer to any normal question, he makes up lies and statistics on the spot, he managed to bankrupt casinos.

I see no redeeming credentials whatsoever.

You could argue that it's none of my business being a Brit but happens with America affects the whole World.  There is already talk of him doing a Putin and Xi to change the rules to stay in power longer.  And as Putin has him by the short-and-curlies, it doesn't bode well for Ukraine - and therefore the rest of Europe and NATO.

Meat Loaf was a fan - and I believe that cost him his life as he fell for the Anti-Vaxxer nonsense that Trump liked to promote.

So how can intelligent, articulate, hard-working people such as Dennis & Sean be voting for Trump?

This picture Sean posted on Facebook of the keys his wife had in her pocket imply that he is of the Trump persuasion:

They can't be falling for the Fox News tripe - they're too busy to watch it.

Maybe they are simply life-long Republicans - or maybe they see something in him that very few people outside of the States can see.

I hope they are right - evidence from 2016 to 2020 does not look promising but democracy has declared a winner so we need to accept it and work with it.

Maybe they didn't see a better candidate, over to Jonathan Pie...

Being Zippy...

 

...but not being annoying.

Because, let's face it, Zippy was pretty annoying.

Not wet like George.

But if Donald Trump were a pre-school TV personality, he would be Zippy.

(or am I being unkind to Zippy?)

Anyway, zipping into traffic is the non-annoying thing to do.

Look at this story from Auto Express today explaining how we should be using what lots of countries call  "The Zipper Manoeuvre" when two lanes merge into one.

Even The Highway Code tells us to do it.

The trouble is, while out in their cars, our continental cousins view themselves as "the traffic", whereas us Brits see ourselves as individuals battling against all of the other inferior drivers.  That is why Smart Motorways were never going to work in Britain.

Not me, of course - although I do witness a huge number of inferior drivers every day on the M53.

Strange that.

At Junction 5 heading South, the M53 goes from three lanes down to two.  It is well signposted that it is going to happen but there is no signage about how to deal with it.

So, a fair distance before it actually happens, everyone gets into the two left hand lanes apart from a very small number of drivers who tear down lane 3 until the last minute.  Sometimes they are allowed to merge in and sometimes they encounter a stubborn group of people staring straight ahead while attempting to keep 5cm from the rear bumper of the vehicle ahead.

This means that the ones getting most annoyed are actually those driving in the most annoying way.

And the ones doing the annoying are right.

So the others should just zip it.

Putin gives his little friend a small Japanese hatchback

Everyone's favourite desperate despot (and Ash Sutton lookalike) has given another despot a Toyota Auris:

Although looking at the picture it looks more like a stretched Chrysler 300.

The BBC have the story here.

It's true, Vladimir Putin has gifted Kim Jong-Un an Aurus.

Maybe they should call it the "Kim John Uranus".

This is presumably toadying as Vlad needs to keep Kimmy on his good side.

Looking again at the story it would appear that "Kim Jong-un is believed to be a car enthusiast" - so not all bad then?

And it would also appear that the gift in question was not a Toyota but actually an Aurus limousine.

Bet Donny was jealous.

Elon Ruffled

 

A judge in Delaware has said Elon can't have his $55.8bn pay deal.

The story is covered by many news outlets including here and here.

The gist of it is that a Tesla share-holder thought that it was too much money for the company he has shares in to be paying out.  And also that Musk “enjoyed thick ties with the directors tasked with negotiating on behalf of Tesla, and dominated the process that led to board approval of his compensation plan”  They argued the huge pay award was designed to ensure that Mr Musk, "would continue to dedicate his attention to the company".

What!? You mean while he also continues to dedicate his attention to Twitter, SpaceX, The Boring Company and sticking microchips into people's heads?

And now Elon has taken umbrage in true Donald Trump style with some whining on Twitter (as we all call it)

He tweeted, "Never incorporate your company in the state of Delaware.  I recommend incorporating in Nevada or Texas if you prefer shareholders to decide matters." 

Err - I think in this case a shareholder HAS managed to decide matters.

He then posted a poll asking his followers whether or not Tesla should "change its state of incorporation to Texas, home of its physical headquarters"

I don't know what the Venn Diagram of Tesla shareholders and Musk Twitter followers looks like but it doesn't sound like a particularly relevant bit of market research.

What amuses me most on this story though, is that the shareholder in question is a former thrash-metal drummer (according to Newsweek) who not only "made a mohawk that lights up while I'm playing drums" but who also only owns 9 shares in Tesla.  Brilliant.