The Undertakers

 This is one of several versions of my favourite anti-drink-drive adverts:

The caption is usually something like, "Who is going to drive you home tonight?"

Most excellent.

This morning, my dash-cam caught a couple of candidates for the undertakers undertaking undertaking manoeuvres.

The first one is an impatient van driver who doesn't appreciate driving at 25mph in the 20mph zone I highlighted the other week.

I have no sympathy for him - he is a tosser.

The second one though, I may have to admit doing myself - I hate middle-lane hogs.

And will someone please remind me to shift that flyer from my dashboard?

Criticism of SUVs

The number of times that I have criticised SUVs on my Blog is almost incalculable.  It would involve doing a search for the term in my entire Blog history and then assuming I've said something derogatory against each reference.

Anyway, this story led me down an internet rabbit-hole today with me ending up on a Wikipedia page entitled, "Criticism of SUVs"

I've always hated them because they are pointless.

Unless you are a farmer or live in a remote bit of Africa.

I particularly hate that people buy them because they feel safer than us normal people in them - a point admirably disproved in that story with evidence provided in the Wiki page.

Then, thanks to the stupidly named and stupidly existing Nissan Qashqai, they became trendy.

And don't get me started on the stupidly named and stupidly existing Nissan Juke.

Is there also an element that as people get bigger, their vehicles have to as well?

Maybe - but they don't have to get taller and heavier - well maybe the electric ones have to get heavier - but once they sort out battery technologies the weights should come back down again.

This trend - autobesity - also has it's own, somewhat less comprehensive, Wiki page.

Now, if someone would just link SUVs to obesity - then maybe people would stop viewing them so positively and we could go back to proper cars that fitted into parking spaces and handled properly.

And didn't look stupid.

Is it because I is black?

We know that it is illegal to impersonate a police officer.

But what about impersonating a police vehicle?

Check out the full story here.

The Numbers Up!

No, this isn't a Volkswagen story - it's a Polestar story.

Their boss, Thomas Ingenlath, has been talking about the future.

Drive.com.au are reporting on it here.

When it comes time for a replacement, the Polestar 2...

...is not going to be replaced with another Polestar 2.

It will be replaced with the Polestar n 

where

n =

the next integer not already assigned to a Polestar.

And the rest of the range...

...will follow suit as their lifespans also come to an end.

Apparently this means that they aren't stuck forever with a car called the Polestar 2 never being able to evolve into anything other than an electric SUV that is actually more of a saloon car - which, incidentally is why I like it - it isn't, despite what Polestar tell you, an SUV.

I wonder how many years it will be before they realise the error of this strategy and change to a better system.

In 15 years time, people will be having conversations like...

• "I really fancy a Polestar 17"
• "Really? Why do you want a van?"
• "I don't! The 17 is a two-seater sports car."
• "I thought the sports car was the Polestar 19"

And in 45 years time, people will be having conversations like...

• "I really fancy a Polestar 102"
• "Really? Why do you want a van?"
• "I don't! The 102 is a two-seater sports car."
• "I thought the sports car was the Polestar 114"

Or maybe, just maybe, retro will be back in - and they'll do a cute new Polestar 2.

I wonder where that idea suddenly sprang in to my head from?

Little Dog

That rather cute image has nothing to do with the story of what used to be called the Ark Zero.  But then again, when I posted about the Ark Zero last November - the Ark Zero had nothing to do with dogs either.

Although, I decided that the Ark Zero looked a lot like a dog.

I guess they must have agreed with me because it is now called the Dogood Zero.  Jack Scarlett pronounces it (presumably correctly) "Do good" in his report for The Fully Charged Show.

When I first came across Jack's work, I thought I wasn't going to like him - he seemed like he was trying too hard to be funny - but now I think he's brilliant.

Here's his latest enjoyable vid...

School's. Out. For. Ever

I've noticed a new 20mph zone has just appeared in the village in which I live.

I have no problem with 20mph zones around schools.

This one sort of coincides with where my car sat-nav thinks there is a school.

Here is a photograph of the school.

Apologies for the old photo - the school was demolished in 1975.

Anyway, here's one of the new signs that has just gone up:

If you look closely at it, you will see in the distance the next sign you reach when heading through the village.  Here is a close-up:

If you walk right up to it, you see the extremely faint outline of two children - it was once a school warning sign.  The next photo is what you come across once you pass the mostly-blank patrol sign:

That picture shows the end of a wall.  That wall is all that is left of the school.  It also shows the window of a DIY store built on the site of the school.  And a For Sale notice that isn't relevant to this post.

The final picture was taken after passing the DIY store and continuing through the village towards where the school was relocated to.  Just before you get to it, they've put up this sign.

Crashed Out!

We know that I like to hear about stupid criminals - my most recent post covered one.

And I do like a Norfolk story.

So one that combines them both is very welcome.

Now technically the guy in that Ferrari isn't a criminal (The Police said no further action would be taken) - but his driving certainly is.  And it looks a lot like he was speeding when he lost control on the bend.

The BBC have enjoyed putting out several crash videos lately and a later one from today is quite horrific.  It involves a motorcyclist and presumably a two-fingered salute (or middle-fingered salute) which led to him being forced off the road and thrown over a bridge suffering serious injuries.  The guilty party was was jailed for 4 years and 10 months.

They have also shown this story - looks just as horrific although the injuries weren't as bad.  The drunk criminal in that case got away with a suspended sentence which unfortunately doesn't mean that they hanged him.

The next story, from 4 days ago, is very unusual in that the guilty party is a Volvo driver.  He (or she) has driven into a bus lane that has "No Entry" signage at the start and a spiky trap at the end.  It looks quite tame next to the other videos.

Meanwhile, drive.com.au have a story that involved a crash, may or may not involve a criminal and, surprisingly considering where it took place, does not involve a video.

It involves this picture:

Two people were injured - that may be them lying down in the front of the picture.

The story, headlined "Electric BYD with teen inside crashes into Myer from shopping centre display" is here.

Why are they telling us it is electric?  Could it not have happened in a petrol or diesel car?  I think it could as long as the car was an automatic although you may have heard the engine start up.  Anyway, all BYD cars sold in Australia (and here come to that) are electric.

Presumably, someone gave a car key to a 14-year old boy - or just left it in the car.

The whole scenario was inevitable though, as soon as the those two crash-test dummies decided to visit the perfume department.

Taxi for Idiot

If you are going to steal a car, it's probably not a good idea to choose one that can be controlled from elsewhere with lots of cameras in it.

And if someone in control of the vehicle tells you to get out, then it's probably a good idea to get out.

The twerp in this story got arrested.

Yet another adventure in the life of San Francisco's self-drive taxis.

A Spicy Tale

This year will mark the 10th Anniversary of me posting this story.

I probably won't be doing anything to celebrate the event.

But how times have changed.

At the time, I pointed out that nobody seemed remotely interested in an F1 boss marrying a Spice Girl.

Now they are all over the press - albeit the gutter press:

Not sure why everyone commentating is saying that Geri has been humiliated though. Either the latest WhatsApp messages are fake or Christian is the one with the problem.

Am I adding to the situation by commenting on it?

Probably not - nobody reads my musings.  But others are enjoying wading in:

That's The Sunday Telegraph with an extremely clever pun using the word "formula" because he is an F1 team boss.  I'd read that header at least three times before I spotted it.  You wouldn't catch me doing anything like that.

Thank you for reading "A Spicy Tale"

Look-a-likes

People say cars all look alike these days.

Cross-over SUVs certainly do.

So it's nice to see something that doesn't look like the rest.

For example Car+Driver are today enthusing about the 2024 Maserati GranCabrio - a car not aimed at grans.

This is what it looks like:

Nothing at all like an early Jag F-Type.

Yesterday, they were talking about the new Lucid Air:

As opposed to the slightly cheaper Peugeot 508...

But at least they aren't crossover-SUVs.

Now, talking about motors and similarities, try listening to this without thinking about Grandstand:

Double Cab U-Turn

No, not taxi cabs - although the rules say that in London at least, they have to be able to do a U-Turn within a 25 foot turning circle.

This story, though, is about double-cab pickup trucks like this one...

...and the rules concerning the tax on them.

I saw this story at lunchtime on the Auto Express website but that appears to be broken right now so here's a link to the local newspaper of the small Hampshire town of Fleet - Fleet News.

On Monday last week, the HMRC announced that vehicles like that yellow one above would be treated as cars rather than commercial vehicles and would therefore no longer be getting the tax breaks afforded to commercial vehicles.

This upset quite a few people - business people and farmers and people who sell double-cab pick-up trucks.

On Thursday, the Government got thrashed in a by-election.  Not really relevant  to this but it pleased me and it's further proof that The Conservatives don't want to be upsetting people - especially business people and farmers and people who sell double-cab pick-up trucks. 

So yesterday the Government did a U-Turn. Nigel Huddleston, financial secretary to the Treasury, said: “We will change the law at the next available Finance Bill in order to avoid tax outcomes that could inadvertently harm farmers, van drivers and the UK’s economy.”

Then maybe they shouldn't have made a law that produced tax outcomes that could inadvertently harm farmers, van drivers and the UK’s economy.

But, let's be honest - they do have form.

Putin gives his little friend a small Japanese hatchback

Everyone's favourite desperate despot (and Ash Sutton lookalike) has given another despot a Toyota Auris:

Although looking at the picture it looks more like a stretched Chrysler 300.

The BBC have the story here.

It's true, Vladimir Putin has gifted Kim Jong-Un an Aurus.

Maybe they should call it the "Kim John Uranus".

This is presumably toadying as Vlad needs to keep Kimmy on his good side.

Looking again at the story it would appear that "Kim Jong-un is believed to be a car enthusiast" - so not all bad then?

And it would also appear that the gift in question was not a Toyota but actually an Aurus limousine.

Bet Donny was jealous.

Medium Wave Goodbye

My in-car entertainment does not include AM radio. 

I'm not convinced that there is much on AM these days anyway.  Radio Wales claim to still be there but I've not picked it up in years.

Good job they are on FM & DAB.

My car doesn't have a CD or cassette or 8-Track player either.  Not a problem as I can just play the stuff on my phone via Bluetooth if I'm not in a radio listening mood.

And no AM shouldn't be a problem either as I am European not American.

According to Car+Driver, over there they are planning to legislate such that all new cars should have AM.

There is some logic to it as AM can cover further distances as mentioned here in this interesting comparison.  That would make it more suitable for some of the more remote States.  And, according to C+D, "In July 2022, one of Canada's largest cellular providers suffered a cross-country outage that left some 12 million people without coverage. But AM radio still provided news and traffic information"

However, that makes it awkward for car manufacturers (apparently EVs in particular will struggle with interference) and it would be expensive to redesign the hardware.

C+D added one of their famous surveys to the article and it looks like there is a small majority who still want AM - maybe they were swayed by the sentence, "Proponents say passing the Act is about providing emergency services or free speech."

In the survey, I went with "You must be joking. It's 2023"

It took one of the commenters to point out that it is actually 2024.

Another one came up with the solution to this problem - carmakers should give away a free AM transistor radio with each new car.

This one costs £9.98 on Amazon and is an ideal gift for a friend who likes to pretend to be an old lady.

Parisian Walkway

At the rate the current mayor is going, that'll be the only way to get around Paris.

First she banned electric scooters.

Now she's making it very expensive to park SUVs in the city.

She's had a vote and 3.11% of the the Paris population said it was a good idea.  How pathetic!  After all, a whole 7.2% wanted to see the back of the scooters.

Needless to say, lot's of people didn't vote.

But how are they defining an SUV?  After all, Volvo define a Polestar 2 as an SUV - and it's very similar in size (including ride-height) to my S60.

So not an SUV.

Apparently, they are going on weight.

But then electric cars are REALLY heavy, what about them?

Well, they are exempt.

As are taxi drivers, tradespeople, health-workers and people with disabilities.

So probably most people in Paris then.

Or, perhaps Mme.Hidalgo is a petrol-head.

Could you imagine if it did actually have an effect?  Imagine a city with no scooters and SUVs!  Just proper cars!

And imagine an end to this sort of thing:

Tesla Sunk

No this isn't an update on Wednesday's post.

This is the story of somebody in Norway driving their Tesla into a fjord and being rescued by people on a floating sauna.

I know.

But you can see it here.

Strange that the first question you ask yourself isn't, "Why have they driven in to the water?"

Elon Ruffled

 

A judge in Delaware has said Elon can't have his $55.8bn pay deal.

The story is covered by many news outlets including here and here.

The gist of it is that a Tesla share-holder thought that it was too much money for the company he has shares in to be paying out.  And also that Musk “enjoyed thick ties with the directors tasked with negotiating on behalf of Tesla, and dominated the process that led to board approval of his compensation plan”  They argued the huge pay award was designed to ensure that Mr Musk, "would continue to dedicate his attention to the company".

What!? You mean while he also continues to dedicate his attention to Twitter, SpaceX, The Boring Company and sticking microchips into people's heads?

And now Elon has taken umbrage in true Donald Trump style with some whining on Twitter (as we all call it)

He tweeted, "Never incorporate your company in the state of Delaware.  I recommend incorporating in Nevada or Texas if you prefer shareholders to decide matters." 

Err - I think in this case a shareholder HAS managed to decide matters.

He then posted a poll asking his followers whether or not Tesla should "change its state of incorporation to Texas, home of its physical headquarters"

I don't know what the Venn Diagram of Tesla shareholders and Musk Twitter followers looks like but it doesn't sound like a particularly relevant bit of market research.

What amuses me most on this story though, is that the shareholder in question is a former thrash-metal drummer (according to Newsweek) who not only "made a mohawk that lights up while I'm playing drums" but who also only owns 9 shares in Tesla.  Brilliant.

Arrogance

Back in 2022 I posted about people showing arrogance - they didn't seem to care about motoring law.

Today, I have two more examples (although the second one isn't strictly illegal - it's more a case of "Rules of the road")

Firstly, M'Lud, I give you these cyclists:

Four people who rather than queue up to turn right, went straight down the straight-ahead lane and then through the red traffic lights.

Unfortunately for them, there was an unmarked police car behind them and they all got fined.

Good.

Here is the full BBC story and the footage.

Meanwhile, don't we all hate BMW drivers who refuse to use their indicators?

Let's have a heated debate!

This was the most read BBC News article this afternoon - an electric bus caught fire. It's still on their front page.

There was no mention on the front page yesterday of this bus fire:

It was on their local Gloucestershire page.

Why not the front page though like today's one?

Anything to do with it not being in London?

That won't have helped but let's be honest, it was almost certainly because it wasn't an electric bus.  I've raised this bias before.  Not sure what it will take to change this.

Talking of electric vehicles, don't we all hate electric scooters?  Usually ridden with no care and attention either on the road (ignoring the rules of the road) or on the pavement (ignoring the safety of other pavement-users)

That is why the Mayor of Paris found it so easy to get them banned.

And people riding them look like tossers.

However, according to The Conversation, e-scooters are actually displacing four times as much demand for oil as all the world’s electric cars at present, due to their uptake in China and other nations where mopeds are a common form of transport.

So they are a good thing!?

Talking more of electric vehicles, The Tyre Extinguishers have been at it again.  This time targeting a Tesla Model X in Bristol.  The news sites seem perplexed that an "anti-gas-guzzler" pressure group would target an electric car but they did point out back in 2022 when I last gave them a mention, that their beef was more with SUVs - a sentiment I agree with albeit for completely different reasoning. To quote them from today's story,

"Electric cars are fair game. We can't electrify our way out of the climate crisis. The danger to other road users still stands, as does air pollution (PM 2.5 pollution is still produced from tyres / brake pads). A child killed by an SUV doesn't care if its (sic) electric or petrol."

Their grammar isn't too hot - that "(sic)" was added by drive.com.au together with another one where they talk about "SUV vehicles"

But then the electric side of the argument did point out that regenerative braking produces no brake dust - a fair point well made.

And drive.com.au also point out that, 

"Under Victoria's Litter Act of 1987, it is an offence to place leaflets on any vehicle, as the leaflet could be blown away by the wind or disintegrate in rain – with fines of more than $950 applicable for each instance."

Victorian law doesn't apply in Bristol but the potential for bits of paper (and don't forget the trees they were made from) could be floating around the River Avon doesn't sound very climate-friendly.

Three different stories for debate in one article - who would have thought that electric vehicles could be so controversial?

Look away now!

Two stories have caught my eye so far this year.

One from my default Aussie site which is about yet another Tesla crash.  This one is unusual though for two reasons:

1. It seems to be the first one involving a Cybertruck and...
2. It wasn't the Tesla's fault

They've reversed the picture for some reason - maybe to appeal to a right-hand-drive audience:

But this is good news for Tesla in that their vehicle has come out of it considerably more unscathed than the Toyota that crashed in to it:

Although it does raise questions about safety for any other vehicles, or indeed pedestrians, who do get entangled with them.

The other story with something to look away from was one I found in Autocar but I can't view it on my laptop because they won't show it to me unless I switch off the ad-blocker that I don't have. They instead rather unhelpfully show me how to switch off various ad-blockers that I don't have.  I found the story here on Just-Auto instead so Autocar can sod off.

The gist of this is what LG will be showing at the big tech show CES in Vegas next week.

They have technology that allows drivers and passengers to see different things on the same display screen.

Except Land-Rover had that over 10 years ago.

And, judging by the photo,

the LG version works by the driver looking away from the display.

This to me appears a little dangerous.

He'd better hope there isn't a Cybertruck coming the other way.