Don't go Changan

Just watched Robert Llewelyn reviewing another boring SUV.

A very big boring Chinese SUV.

And it's electric - at least in Australia and the UK it will be - they have a hybrid version in China which gives Robert an excuse to be snidey about fossil fuel burners.

Anyway, here's the video:

It's going to be a Deepal in Oz and a Changan over here - doesn't seem to be any logic in the naming. But it won't be anything in the US because they aren't getting it.

The video title is, "Why Is This Super Cheap Luxury SUV coming to OZ & UK but NOT USA?!?"

Despite the capitals and exclamation marks, they don't go on to answer the question.

But it's probably something to do with Elon not wanting the competition.

The stand-out bit of the video for me though was about four minutes in when Robert casually dropped in to the story that the car was recording and filming everything that was said in it and around it!

What!?

Someone in China is listening in to everything.

I'm hoping that this is just because it is a press car for the Australian launch and they are trying to gather as much insight and opinion as possible - and they must have been up front about it or he wouldn't have known about it.

But what if the Chinese government have this installed in all Chinese cars?  Robert wasn't sure where the recording devices were.  Do I need to take a closer look at my 5 year old Volvo?  Although that was built in The US so hopefully not.

Well just to be on the safe side, that President Xi seems like a really decent chap.

Feeling Firsty

Autocar News annoys me at times.

They like to do slideshows.

But then they repeat them.

Again and again.

So I normally ignore them - but something made me revisit one today (and several days in the past) entitled, The first-ever cars of the world's most famous car-makers.

Several of the car-makers seem to have two or three first-ever cars - Jaguar, Skoda and Ford for example - so I haven't a clue what licence they've taken with their definitions.

But when I read the Volvo one, I realised that someone with a sense of humour had been in there.  Check this out.

Meanwhile, the first Fiat was the 4HP of 1899 and the first Tesla was the Roadster of 2008.

Which brings me to the following creation which is apparently the work of someone called @carbreeding.

I don't like the Fiat Multipla because it is pig-ugly and I don't like Elon Musk because he is a right-wing, ranting individual who has completely lost the plot.

But I really like the Cyberpla:

Crashed Out!

We know that I like to hear about stupid criminals - my most recent post covered one.

And I do like a Norfolk story.

So one that combines them both is very welcome.

Now technically the guy in that Ferrari isn't a criminal (The Police said no further action would be taken) - but his driving certainly is.  And it looks a lot like he was speeding when he lost control on the bend.

The BBC have enjoyed putting out several crash videos lately and a later one from today is quite horrific.  It involves a motorcyclist and presumably a two-fingered salute (or middle-fingered salute) which led to him being forced off the road and thrown over a bridge suffering serious injuries.  The guilty party was was jailed for 4 years and 10 months.

They have also shown this story - looks just as horrific although the injuries weren't as bad.  The drunk criminal in that case got away with a suspended sentence which unfortunately doesn't mean that they hanged him.

The next story, from 4 days ago, is very unusual in that the guilty party is a Volvo driver.  He (or she) has driven into a bus lane that has "No Entry" signage at the start and a spiky trap at the end.  It looks quite tame next to the other videos.

Meanwhile, drive.com.au have a story that involved a crash, may or may not involve a criminal and, surprisingly considering where it took place, does not involve a video.

It involves this picture:

Two people were injured - that may be them lying down in the front of the picture.

The story, headlined "Electric BYD with teen inside crashes into Myer from shopping centre display" is here.

Why are they telling us it is electric?  Could it not have happened in a petrol or diesel car?  I think it could as long as the car was an automatic although you may have heard the engine start up.  Anyway, all BYD cars sold in Australia (and here come to that) are electric.

Presumably, someone gave a car key to a 14-year old boy - or just left it in the car.

The whole scenario was inevitable though, as soon as the those two crash-test dummies decided to visit the perfume department.

Cop Out!

Crime prevention is much better than having to catch criminals.

And while it is a tad harsh to describe people committing certain motoring offences as "criminals", it is better to stop them committing the offences in the first place - hence lots of signs around warning drivers about speed cameras.

So I figured that crime prevention was behind the headline in drive.com.au that reads,

Police thwart speed camera revenue by warning motorists

But when you actually read the story, a very different narrative emerges.

It seems that the local state government enjoy the profits from the speed cameras in question and the Police are happy for motorists to speed because they get caught and pay fines.

Although, at the  moment, they are getting motorists to slow down to cut the income from the fines going to a party that they are in dispute with.  The dispute is, as is often the case, about wage levels and since they can't take strike action, this has proven to work in the past so they are giving it another go.

Apparently, another tactic in the battle is "an automated voice when a police station is phoned" - not sure what the automated voice is going to say but given that the state in question is Victoria, I hope it mentions Victorian Values.

Now, as a bit of a Leftie, I tend to be on the side of the disgruntled employee - and as a motorist, I'm happy to be warned about the presence of speed cameras.  Although, as a Volvo driver, I am concerned about the safety element of wanting people to speed.  Although, if you are going to speed, you need to do it in a safe car like a Volvo.  Although BMWs are safe too - as long as you don't write slogans across the rear window.

Although the biggest take from this story is...

THEY ARE DEFINITLEY SPEED CAMERAS NOT SAFETY CAMERAS.

Last Chance Saloon

If your Audi starts with a Q or your Volvo starts with an X then I'm not interested in it.

Today's Hagerty story has been on the cards for a while now - I reported precursors in March 2021 and again that September.

Volvo have stopped selling saloons and estates in the UK.

Maybe that will make my S60 a bit more valuable because if you want a new one now you will have to either...

a) Find a country they are still selling them to - or

b) Join the Police.

They will still sell them to law-enforcement officers - presumably because everyone knows that proper cars handle a damn sight better than bloody SUVs.

When mine was in for its first MOT, there was a Cheshire Police one in there:

Jolly nice.  I wonder if the mechanics get to test drive them.

I've just checked out the Volvo website and nobody's told them about not selling saloons and estates.

Yet - this could be your last chance to get one.

Government Powers - Off The Grid

This rather disturbing picture has been appearing on the Telegraph and the BBC News Websites a fair bit this week:

It is because the news broke that the Government is banning all petrol and diesel vehicles in 2040.

 

Except they aren't.

 

What they want to do is ban the SALES of all NEW petrol and diesel vehicles in 2040.

 

Like France do.

 

There may even be a clause allowing hybrids - like the Volvo story from last month.

 

And, given that this Government may not see the year out and that 2040 is 23 YEARS AWAY, I wouldn't be putting that dodgy pipe on my news website just yet.

 

It must be a library photo.  Here is another motoring-related library photo:

Meanwhile, Stateside, where they don't believe in climate change, they are still doing their bit for electric vehicles. Here is a story from Autoguide about a new all-electric ‘Sport Utility Truck’ from a  company I've never heard of before - Bollinger Motors - as in the champagne.  Meet the B1:

At first I thought it looked like the love-child of a Jeep Cherokee and a Land-Rover Defender.

 

And then I worked it out: 

Infernal Combustion Engine

The new Honda Civic looks pretty spectacular:

That is going by Editor-in-Chief of Top Gear Mag, Charlie Turner's, comment that "...our cover story, where the battle for the hot-hatch heartland continues with the arrival of the fifth-generation Civic Type-R"

 

Ah, of course - it's the Type-R - that explains the spoiler.

 

Or maybe, while us subscribers to this fine magazine get our own covers, maybe we should also get our own welcome message from Mr.Turner.

 

In case you're wondering, that's an Aston-Martin Valkyrie not a Honda Civic.

 

Meanwhile, on Page 20 of the mag, we learn that Volvo's high-performance division, Polestar, will now be exclusively building electric cars.  Which is a shame.  But it also fits in with the big Volvo news from last week - Carmaker Volvo has said all new models will have an electric motor from 2019.

 

They were actually quite clever with their wording there.

 

My own car for example has several electric motors - at least one in each door.

 

They got the headlines though.  It plans to launch five fully electric models between 2019 and 2021 and a range of hybrid models.  But it will still be manufacturing earlier models that have only combustion engines.  And those hybrids will still have some carbon being ignited - so it is nothing more than an indication of the direction that the car industry is moving in.

 

Further illustrated by the story a day later that France is set to ban the sale of petrol and diesel vehicles by 2040.  No indication of what happens to internally combustion engined cars bought in France in December 2039 though - or those bought over the national borders that may get driven in to France.

 

I suppose they still have 22 and a half years to fine-tune the rules...

 

...and to come to some sort of agreement in Paris.  Probably not involving this foolish fossil...

who may well be personally adding to the world's fossil fuel stocks by then.

Not über Intelligent

Or even über artificial intelligent.

This BBC story tells of how Uber has pulled its self-driving cars from the roads after an accident which left one of the vehicles on its side on Arizona.

Looks nasty:

The car itself looks nice though - it must really pay to be an Uber Driver if they can afford new Volvo SUVs - especially with self-driving technology.

Uber have stated that the car was in self-driving mode at the time.

The allegation in this case is that another driver "failed to yield".

Which is why I don't like the idea of self-driving cars.  Most drivers rate themselves as having above-average driving skills.  This is actually impossible but even the best driver in the world cannot do anything if someone else acts unexpectedly and hits them.  The way things stand at the moment - self-driving cars still need someone behind the wheel to take over in the case of an emergency.  In which case that person has to be fully alert at all times to what is going on around them - I know I would want to be!  But that completely negates the point of a self-driving vehicle.

I'm quite concerned in this case as to how the car ended up on its side - was it travelling too fast?  - did it clip the kerb? - did the driver panic when the other car was suddenly in its path?

We know SUVs tend to topple a lot easier than normal cars but even so.

Is this what is known as doing a bit of taxi driving on the side?

Bristol's Perked Up

This a follow-up to my 2011 article - Bristol's Gone Tits Up.

Basically, The Bristol Car Company is back from near-death and even has a new model.

Autocar have some photos ahead of next week's official launch of the Bristol Bullet.

I have to say I'm not that keen on its looks - like in my 2011 article, I think they seem to look too much like other generic cars from the past - in this case Austin-Healey.

The rear view is much better - I do like those fins.

 

Although 1960s Volvo anyone?

Anyway, I'm not sure next week will be the first official launch - look at the Bristol Bullet shown at the 2009 Classic Motor Show at the NEC:

 

So the design goes back to before the recent troubles.

But that doesn't matter.  As long as enough pipe-smokers are attracted to it, Bristol should be fine.

All ship-shape & Bristol Fashion.

Feeling Congested

Where in Australia is this?

Everyone seems to driving Volvos...

...on the wrong side of the road.

Then I spotted the sign on the far side of the road, "ULLEVI MOTET"

Ah, the picture has been reversed and that should read "IVELLU TETOM".

But hang on, that doesn't make sense either and the E and L's would need to be backwards.

So I looked up Ullevi Motet on Google and found we were in Gothenburg, Sweden.

That would explain the Volvos.

I probably wouldn't have given this article in Australian car site CarAdvice.com.au a second glance if it hadn't been for that photo.  It is about New South Wales using V2I (vehicle to Infrastructure) technology to turn traffic lights green for large commercial vehicles (lorries) travelling about Sydney.  It's all about reducing congestion and pollution in the city.

Sounds very much like my story last year about the same technology being used for patient transport ambulances.  So it comes with the same problems and associated risks.

The commenters on the story keep talking about the M4 motorway which again made me question the Australian-ness of the story given that the M4 is the motorway here in the UK that links South Wales to London.

But apparently there is another M4 motorway in New South Wales.

I think that road should be called "New M4".

But it isn't.

Perhaps Sydney should be looking at the other end of our M4.  The London Congestion Charge seems to be a more effective method of controlling traffic.  The BBC asked if it was working back in 2013, ten years after it was introduced. The concensus is good although it does seem to depend on who you talk to.

Meanwhile, over in Paris, they are going for the shutting off roads to traffic at certain times option.  Successive mayors have been implementing these prohibitions for a while now - I criticised one back in 2012.  The BBC cover the latest score there today.  Here's a picture of it looking more Australian:

Audi '80s

Interesting story from the Detroit Motor Show in Autoguide today.

It's an Audi concept car called the h-tron:

Looks a bit Volvo to me. But it is an Audi hybrid obviously named after a film from the early '80s:

 

A time when Audi made the Audi 80:

 

A time when people were discovering other computer games as well as those featured in Tron.

Like Tetris for example.  Which brings us back to the Autoguide article.  Apparently the new concept has a couple of sensor/scanners in the boot which analyse your luggage and tell you the best way to pack it.  The article calls it "automated car-tetris".

I actually enjoy working out the best way to pack the boot.  That's why I drive an estate car and have a Degree in Statistics.

The concept also has OLED Audi tablets that allow rear-seat passengers to communicate with the driver. 

Can't help thinking that talking would be a better method of communication - like we did in the '80s.

And the car-tetris has been done before too:

Top Ghia

Two big companies hit the headlines (if you looked at the right sites) this week with announcements about new products.

The motoring press were keen to hear about Ford's new Vignale range which will be a posh-end sub-brand to their standard range. Here's a Mondeo Vignale to be debuted at Frankfurt next week:

It's brown.

 

CarAdvice have the story here while Pistonheads cover it here together with a very cheesy 1980s ad (although it's more like a music video) for Ford RS accessories featuring an Escort from that time.  Just about every motoring site around also has the story with their own take on it - most seem quite negative - especially if you read readers' comments.

 

I can understand why.

 

Ford have always had top-spec cars - usually with the Ghia moniker.  Ghia being an Italian coach-builder/design-house much like Vignale.  In America they used the Mercury brand - until they scrapped it.  Here, they owned Jaguar, Aston-Martin and Volvo - until they sold them all.

 

Ford are suggesting separate facilities within their dealerships for their Vignale customers - that will cost a fair bit and possibly make their existing buyers feel second-rate.

 

Rather than buy a posh Ford, people will just go out and buy a posher brand - BMW being the obvious one.

 

Now, where have I heard that name Vignale before?

 

Ah yes, here:

 

And why Vignale anyway?  Ghia is easier to pronounce.

 

Both have an illustrious history - here are couple of 1950s Abarth Fiats:

 

This is the Vignale. Hmm...

...and this is the Ghia.  The Ghia is moderately less ugly - even with Tweetie-pie's beak.

Of course, Ghia has its own connotations - here's Delboy's "Capri Ghia" as he liked it to be known or "Pratmobile" as Rodney liked it to be known: 

Some of the motoring press are saying that if this actually works, then the sporty Ford-buyer will be offered a sporty sub-brand - the ST - which just brings us back to the RS brand in the Pistonheads video.

 

Now, the other company with a proud, important pre-launch is Samsung.  They seem to like the name Ford is rejecting so let's just hope that there is no confusion between the Ford Galaxy Ghia... 

and the Samsung Galaxy Gear... 

Airmiles

Next time you're on one of these...

...you might be able to buy one of these...

This short story from Bloomberg states that a Chinese Airline, Spring Airlines, plans to start selling Chinese cars as early as next month.

“We wanted to start in-flight sales a few years ago, and decided cars are suitable for our passengers,” said spokesman Zhang Wu’An. “Car sales are very popular in Shanghai and our passengers can have time during their flight to study details of the models available.

Car sales on flights will initially be available on flights from Shanghai and could be introduced to other flights", Zhang said. "Flight attendants will be trained on the car details, while passengers may be eligible for discounts", he said.

They would need to be - in my experience, anything bought on a plane costs a lot more than anything bought on the ground. Here's a Thomson in-flight menu. £3.80 (approx €4.30 or $5.70) for a SMALL can of Bud!

They don't claim to know which cars they would be selling but they have stated that they will be a Chinese brand, hence my picture of a Chery QQ but now that MG and Volvo are both owned by the Chinese, who knows?


Maybe the idea will spread.


Ryanair could do it.


But you'd have to pay extra for the wheels and engine.


And the car you bought would always take you miles away from your destination.

Volvo Model Is a Ford Escort?

There are so many puns and jokes in this story it's almost too difficult to know where to start.

A model called Carolyn Giles, who used to work for Ford Models (which has nothing to do with The Ford Motor Co.) is upset that some photos taken of her for a Volvo campaign (Volvo would have been owned by the Ford Motor Co. at the time) is being used in an advert that she claims implies that she is some sort of escort (a car built by the Ford Motor Co.)

Here is the offending (offensive?) ad:Not sure it implies that myself - not when you read it anyway. It might imply that she is a single 30 year old Australian looking for love. She wouldn't have reached 30 when those photos were taken so maybe that's why she doesn't like it. I don't believe she is Australian so maybe that's why she doesn't like it. The advert seems to advocate having a drink and then going for a test-drive so maybe that's why she doesn't like it.

Or maybe she wants a big money payout or loads of publicity - she's certainly getting the latter - not that many people read my Blog.

I don't belive that she will have much chance on the former though, most people find that they don't even own their own Wedding Photos, let alone one they've been paid to sit for.

Actually, reading that ad again, it might be suggesting a bit of Dogging - maybe that's why she doesn't like it.

Going Round in Circles

It's been two weeks since my last post. Normally I just wait for a suitable story to come along and then I comment on it. But, since it has been two weeks, I've gone out looking further.

I've found a very good American site, Autoguide.com, with probably the best car news section on the Web. They had a good story yesterday about how the LAPD are asking that celebrities tweet road congestion news.

Twits.

They also make some reference to a couple of Star Trek actors which went completely over my head. Levar Burton played a blind man who could see with the help of a futuristic hairband and Wil Wheaton played an annoyingly precocious boy and then went on to parody himself brilliantly in The Big Bang Theory. But I don't get the traffic news angle.

I then found this story in Autocar about the new Porsche 911. It was something I was going to comment on in March when I saw this picture on the CAR&Driver siteheralding the first spy-shot of the new Porsche 911. I mean what the hell is the point of a spy shot of a Porsche 911!? Everyone knows what it will look like - every other Porsche 911!!

And the story in Autocar goes on to prove it. I'm sure that under the skin, the new 911 is very different to the outgoing model but on the outside, you won't know, when one screams past you on the motorway, just how old it is.

The big story will be when they finally make it look like something different, like when Volvo stopped making cars that looked like the 144, or when Land Rover change the Defender - it is happening soon and it will be the end of an era.

But, the story I have chosen for my July 1st Post - is from the BBC Website. It is entitled "Is the British roundabout conquering the US?" I drove around a couple in New England on my first trip Stateside in '92 and I couldn't get to grips with going around them the wrong way. I was very glad that they were very rare. Strangely enough, I never had any problems after that when I drove around Majorca - another drive-on-the-right kinda place.

The article is about how the city of Carmel, Indiana, is ripping out traditional intersections with traffic lights and replacing them with good old-fashioned European-style roundabouts.

The locals seem positive - traffic moves better and fuel is not wasted although this idiot in Georgia has a different view. Any person who will willingly be quoted as saying, "The universe is out of whack when roundabouts are constructed and the economy suffers. Not one, but two industries are suddenly out of business. There’s no longer any need for stop signs or traffic lights. I ask you, in this economic climate, is this a time to put all those people out of work?" is clearly a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I bet he believes the nonsense Fox News put out.

Maybe if he had a few driving lessons he'd be less scared of them.

It's not like the Americans will ever have to deal with this:

Convoy!

This story from the Torygraph begins thus:

"How to drive on motorways - with your feet up

Experts says that before long, driving along motorways will no longer be a chore - in fact it could be the very time to check your emails, surf the web, sip a cup of coffee or enjoy the Daily Telegraph "


Well that's wrong for a start - how can anyone "enjoy" the Daily Telegraph? They almost make people who believe the Daily Mail seem rational. Anyway, if you want to put your feet up, use cruise-control.

The story is about the SARTRE project which allows vehicles to travel very close together at reasonable speed on motorways while automatically linked and controlled by a lead driver.

Hopefully, the lead driver is sober, wide-awake and knows the route he is meant to be taking.

Getting through toll areas could be interesting too - especially if the guy in the fourth car in the convoy doesn't have the right change.
The picture is of tests being performed by Volvo using a truck as lead vehicle.

Now, if you're using a truck, why not let the following car drive into the truck, Knight-Rider style, and save a bit of fuel. The driver could then get out, have a walk about, maybe there could be a Costa Coffee franchise in the truck.

The options are endless.

TV Cars - But Not The Obvious Ones

The obvious ones would be The General Lee or KITT or The Striped Tomato (or whatever Starsky's Torino was called) but they are all American. The obvious British ones are a bit more mundane like Delboy's Reliant Regal van or Mr.Bean's Mini but here are a few I like...
This very Vauxhall Victor appeared in Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased) - a series about a couple of private detectives - one of whom happened to be a ghost. The alive detective, Randall, drove the Victor and was played by Mike Pratt who is now deceased while the deceased detective, Hopkirk, was played by Kenneth Cope who is now alive.

This X-Type was regularly driven by Inspector Barnaby in Midsomer Murders - a series which I've never watched but interests me because of the X-Type - albeit a saloon unlike my own estate version. The estate version was (and may still be - I don't know) a regular in the opening titles of Emmerdale - I haven't watched an episode of that since a plane crashed onto the village and I hadn't watched it before then since Matt Skilbeck had some trouble "int' top field." The X-Type estate also took a starring role in Top Gear when Jeremy ski-ed behind one on an icy country lane.

A white Stag like this one (but not this one because I couldn't find a picture of the actual one) was used in Bellamy's People - a spoof travel around Britain show. The Stag would be my ideal classic car if only I had the time and money to invest.

The Dolomite was my first car - not unfortunately a Sprint - but the vomit yellow 1500 Twin-Carb I had was plenty fast enough for me. This particular example is the one Richard destroyed on Top Gear but the Dolly Sprint also appeared in early programmes of The Professionals but BL used to muck about the Production Company by swapping the colours of the cars they supplied so that screwed up continuity so they moved onto the Capris that most people associate with The Professionals. The Dolomite Sprint is also driven by John Anderson in "The Ancestry Team" - a brilliant comedy drama about two people who run a genealogical detective agency but someone at the BBC didn't think it was suitable material for a comedy so it was never made.

Eddie Shoestring drove a Cortina Mark III estate just like this one - a beautiful car and a brilliant theme tune made the show instantly appealing to a young Metro.

A Viva like this one was driven by Bob in "Whatever Happend To The Likely Lads?" - it was meant to represent middle-class, boring suburbia so would be an Insignia today.

This Beemer was driven by Wayne in the second series of Auf Wiedersehen Pet. Gary Holton, the actor playing Wayne inconveniently died while they were making it so there were lots of shots of the back of his head.

The Volvo was driven by Peter Davison in "A Very Peculiar Practice" - a brilliant comedy drama set in a university at the same time as I was at university. I've always had a soft spot for Volvos and the hilarious script gets this one a mention even though the car had bugger all to do with the show.

Finally, after the Cortina Mark III, we have the Cortina Mark IV - although Van der Valk's car here was in Holland so is, strictly speaking, a Ford Taunus...
Great tune too.