1000 Not Out!

This is my 1000th Blog Post!

Number 1 was a bit serious - I hadn't got into my stride of  commenting on car news items at that point.

And I was right. 

That was November 2009 by the way - when the World was a better place but we didn't know it.

In fact, it wasn't until 2021 that the end of the World was announced.

By me.

And it was 2018 when I foresaw the end of Top Gear.  I may not have said it, but I definitely foresaw it.

Number 999, just last week, was an amusing electric Bentley story.

So, what have I got for today's Number 1000 story?

An amusing story about a Yorkshire cyclist who decided that a car had passed him too closely so sent footage of it to the Police.

That footage also showed the cyclist squeezing his bike through this gap:

(The car on the left is parked)

The BBC story is here together with the video. There is no news of the car driver that he reported.  But there is news that the cyclist ending up with over £1200 in fines for riding without due care and attention.

I have a vision of the police officer watching the footage then spotting this.

Poetic.

Polestar 2.2

Was it really April 2024 when I reported on the stupid naming system that Polestar were to use on their model range?

Yes! 

According to their boss, Thomas Ingenlath, the Polestar 2 would be replaced with the Polestar n where

n = the next integer not already assigned to a Polestar.

I pointed out at the time, the folly of doing that. 

Just like in 2018 when I pointed out the folly of choosing Paddy McGuinness & Freddie Flintoff to present Top Gear.

I was proved correct.

Eventually.

Auto Express have this story today about the replacement for the Polestar 2.

It's headlined, "New Polestar 2 to lose SUV looks and embrace its sporty saloon side"

Apart from anything else, I don't think the Polestar 2 does look like an SUV - which is probably why I like it.

Anyway, I clicked on the link for their guess at what it would look like and found this:

Which made be think, "That doesn't look like a sporty saloon - where's the boot?"

Then I worked out that their link had taken me to a page of guesses or "renderings" that didn't actually include the new Polestar 2.  That particular picture was an attempt at what a future MG will look like.

Then I worked out that the picture at the top of the story was their guess: 

 

That doesn't look like it will "lose SUV looks and embrace its sporty saloon side."

 

It just looks like the current one - which already looks like a sporty non-SUV.

 

Which will probably be known as the 2 Mark II.

 

While the boss now appears to be known as Michael Lohscheller.

The Return Trip

Quite enjoyed this video from James May's YouTube Channel last week.

In it, James and Richard Hammond returned to Dunsfold to the abandoned portakabin complex that used to be the Top Gear production offices.

The abandonment does highlight what has happened to Top Gear since October 2018.

Now it looks like they will be doing something a bit similar for Prime with The Not Very Grand Tour.

Part of me doesn't want to watch it for the same reason I tend not to watch the "Best bits" or "Unseen footage" episodes of shows like Would I Lie to You?

And these usually contain both "best bits" and unseen footage.

But I've already seen the best bits.

And yet, I don't mind repeats.

Jeremy will only be appearing in the shown footage whereas James and Richard will be talking about it.

And taking the mickey.

So will I watch it?

Let's face it, I'd watch a knitting programme if those two were fronting it - so yes - and I'm not lying to you.

Three for All

Happy St.Stephen's Day!

If Good King Wenceslas is looking out on the feast of motoring news this Christmas, he will have spotted the big story which is the potential merger of Nissan, Honda and Mitsubishi.

The story came out with this photo:

Assuming they are standing in front of their respective logos, the Mitsubishi guy looks slightly less unhappy with the deal than the other two.

It took me a while to work out what that photo reminded be of.

At first I thought of Kraftwerk - maybe performing Autobahn:

But they have lecturns.

And there are four of them.

As I have mentioned before, here and here for example, three is the magic number - although I was talking about Top Gear at the time at the start of the Chris Evans era.

You don't hear of him nowadays.

But maybe that is a clue as to what the photo reminds me of:

Except they look too relaxed.

And they are stood in the wrong order - Hammond is definitely Mitsubishi and Clarkson is definitely Nissan.

This photo is a bit closer:

Sir Kier even has the pose right.

But this is the photo that captures the mood best:

Now, what sort of vehicle will these three automotive icons come up with?

How about this?

Where are they now?

During a recent conversation in the pub and a quick search on The Internet, I found out that a couple of showjumpers I used to watch on The Horse of The Year Show back in my distant youth are still alive.  David Broome and Harvey Smith are both in their mid-eighties.

The conversation diverged and I looked up former Top Gear presenter William Woollard.

He is also alive and in his mid-eighties.

Although, if you believe his Wikipedia page (and it isn't convinced itself), he was looking extremely frail 14 years ago.

So, what about the other former TG presenters?

It may be a false memory, but I think I can remember Angela Rippon presenting it - I am more certain about remembering Noel Edmonds.

Angela has, rather disappointingly had a stint on GB News alongside drunk-driver (and definitely NOT a TG presenter) Alistair Stewart.

She now does an advert alongside a Albert Einstein impersonator - not sure what it is for but it's got something to do with energy.

Of this lot, Tiff Needell and Chris Goffey have both appeared recentlyish on a couple of my favourite YouTube Channels (Late Brake Show and idriveaclassic respectively) looking a lot older but still going strong.  Meanwhile, Steve Berry has just started up is own channel - Steve Berry's Big in the Nineties.

In it, he gets angry every week and mentions that he used to present Top Gear and drives a car from that decade in a very entertaining package.

He also appears to be turning into Bob Mortimer - especially in the Audi A6 C5 Avant episode where he compounds it by attempting a North-East accent.

I have liked and subscribed.

Paddy, who I DO REALLY LIKE JUST NOT PRESENTING TOP GEAR OR QUESTION OF SPORT, was on Who Do You Think You Are? last week - that was enjoyable and he found out his ancestry was Irish - who would have thought that?

Next Thursday also sees the return of Vicki & Rory in Fifth Gear on Quest and the return of Jeremy, James & Richard in the last ever Grand Tour on Amazon Prime.

Shame it has to end.

We don't know if Top Gear TV has ended but we do know who the general public (as opposed to the car-fanatical public) remember the most.

Question Time

But that isn't Question Time!

No, that isn't the right-leaning political show - that is actually A Question of Sport.

But last time I actually mentioned Question Time, I titled it "A Question of Sport" so this makes up for it.

Anyway, the question Paddy McGuinness must be asking himself is, "What have I done to upset the BBC?"

After several years of being given (inappropriately) lots of TV shows that he really shouldn't be fronting, first Top Gear gets canned and now A Question of Sport has gone the same way.

As I have previously stated, I DO LIKE PADDY McGUINNESS!

But not for Top Gear.  And I know the Question of Sport fans preferred Sue Barker - a UK tour of that team drew in the crowds after they were booted off showing that the BBC sometimes make daft decisions - I refer you back to my 2018 Post M'Lud.

The BBC needs to be careful - I mentioned earlier this month that YouTube is now my main source of motoring information, education and entertainment - Lord Reith should be spinning in his grave.

I am actually subscribed to 14 motoring YouTube channels (15 if you include Dominic Chinea)

There are the three I really like who specialise in driving old cars with bits of maintenance jobs and other interesting stuff interspersed:

• Hub Nut - the nerdy one
• Idriveaclassic - the woman one
• Twin Cam - the young one

My highlight of the week is Dennis Collins' Coffee Walk on a Friday which also usually involves food and there is his Dallas-based neighbour Gas Monkey Garage.  The other American ones are:

• Jay Leno's Garage
• TFL Classics

There are the electric ones:

• Electric Classic Cars - the Welsh one
• The Fully Charged Show - the Kryten one

There is Top Gear which is a good addition to Top Gear Magazine although I actually prefer reading their stuff but it is nice to hear the voices of their journalists.  And if you want Clarkson, May & Hammond there is DriveTribe - mostly Hammond these days.

The Late Brake Show is Jonny Smith's vehicle (if you'll pardon the pun) - very entertaining, especially his barn find episodes.

Great British Car Journey is these people - and they have added Sarah Crabtree.

And finally, there is Edd China - who I'm actually a bit worried about.  He was the highlight of my week for a very long time but hasn't posted anything new in ages.

So there you go - and here I go.

To catch up on some YouTube.

But Seriously...

Last month, The BBC announced what many people believe to be the end of Top Gear as a UK television programme.

They then announced that the last bit of the last Grand Tour had been filmed.

One of those saddened me more than the other.

Hagerty have now produced a very interesting article  by James Mills suggesting that we need a new, proper car show rather than an entertainment show.   It also points out how the success of Top Gear 2002 (as I think of the Clarkson era) was down to the hard work and skills of Jeremy Clarkson and Andy Wilman - which would explain the success of The Grand Tour.

It is a very well written article - apart from where Sabine Schmitz is described as "a little-known German racing driver."  You may not have heard of her James, but true Top Gear fans know exactly who she was.

The article goes on to say why Top Gear was never going to match the Wilman/Clarkson era and how we need a proper motoring show now more than ever - especially as the motoring world is evolving into an electrically-powered world.

In a way we have that though thanks to YouTube.  I get most of my motoring fixes that way now subscribing to about ten different channels.  I even have my own channel - not that I think I'll ever use it.  I only created it so that I could add a reply to someone commenting on a Lotus Europa in the background of this video.

But, if you are not a fan of Youtube, maybe you should write to the BBC and tell them to take note of the words of the prescient young-ish blogger who wrote this 10 years ago.

Crashing Bore

I wouldn't call him a bore - I quite like him.

I also like Paddy McGuinness.

But, as I pointed out when it was first announced in 2018 - they should not be presenting Top Gear!

They've both managed to crash cars on the show since - Freddie in 2019 and Paddy in 2020 but this one appears more injurious.  The BBC story tells us that he was airlited to hospital - not good.  But his injuries are "not life-threatening" - okay.  It also tells us that it was not believed to be a crash at speed - also okay.

So why aren't they saying any more yet?

According to Piers Morgan (Yes I know!) who has been talking to TalkSport,

“I’m told it was a pretty serious crash and that Freddie’s going to be OK, but it might be a little bit more serious than first appreciated. I’m told he’s going to be OK, which is great news, but I’m also told it was a pretty nasty bang and that he’s had surgery and is recovering now and we’ll have to wait and see."

So he was told no real news then.

We don't know anything about this crash - but the cynic in me says that a motoring journalist wouldn't have done it and a racing driver certainly wouldn't have done it - I may be completely wrong - it may well just be prejudice on my part - I'm sure we'll find out soon enough.

After all, look at Hamster's history - he nearly died.

And James' two incidents (one was not his fault) made the recent Grand Tour the best one ever.

When the show goes out, will I end up thinking that he is in the same league as them?

Or the same league as these people who, despite the best efforts of the snow, haven't had their number plates blurred out:

Best. Grand Tour. Ever.

I watched A Scandi Flick yesterday.

Don't read this if you haven't watched it yet but do plan to!

The boys were on top form.

I suspect that Jeremy was very much involved in the writing.  It had a lot of the humour of Top Gear when that was at its best - like the camping trip adventure and the making-an-advert-for-the-VW-Corrado piece.

The bit on the ski slope was just hilarious.

I refuse to believe, though, that the two most shocking events in the show were scripted.

If they were, then somebody deserves an Oscar.

Firstly James smashes his Mitsubishi Evo at high speed sideways into a cave wall and breaks a rib and the car.

Then, once it has been made roadworthy again, he crashes it through a frozen lake surface and he has to escape a semi-submerged car.

It is after this second accident that Hammond (why does he get known by his surname?) comes to the fore and "remembers" seeing a way of using some trees to make a winch to retrieve the stricken car.

Now surely it was the production team who cut down the trees and set everything up to perform this rescue - Jeremy and Clarkson got the credit but whoever did it - it was very effective.

And excellent television.

You would have to be a very harsh critic to think otherwise.

Powerless

The BBC have had a go at Boris Johnson today.

Unusually.

Political reporter Jennifer Scott was much harsher than Laura Kuenssberg would have been.

Good.

Basically, Johnson made a speech which was supposed to promote electric motoring and green business to the CBI.  But he lost his place and waffled on about Peppa Pig World for a bit making a few lame jokes.

Embarrassing.

An earlier version of the Jennifer Scott story had lots of motoring references about him taking the wrong turn and other such also lame jokes.  That version seems to have disappeared.

Probably for the best.

Now, talking about electric cars and the BBC and embarrassing, did you see Top Gear this weekend?

After a promising series opener last week with a very moving tribute to Eddie Kidd, this week they went caravanning using luxury electric cars as their tow-cars. It included a puerile and pointless attempt to lap their cars around the top of a mountain while eating stronger and stronger chillies culminating in Paddy McGuinness spitting out a mouthful of milk over Freddie Flintoff and the interior of a Mercedes EQC.

They then had to drive to Barnard Castle (which brings us back to Johnson embarrassment) without recharging - and they ran out of charge.  Actually, Chris Harris did get there but only by ditching his caravan so the whole exercise was a waste of time.

There is only one solution to both of these situations.

I'd Like a Big Knob I Can Twist

No, I haven't left my laptop unattended with a juvenile person around.

It is a quote of the lovely Vicki Butler-Henderson in this trailer video:

Despite what a lot of the commenters on the YouTube site say, I am looking forward to this.

Why not have an electric version of Fifth Gear?  It's not like they are saying they won't go back to the old style again - although it may become moot in the future.

Shame no Tiff in this - many of the disgruntled commenters are lamenting that too - but the addition of Rory Reid should be good - and Fifth Gear always was designed as the place for presenters who Top Gear thought they didn't need any more.

Another good thing about this is that I only have to wait one week longer to see it on Quest after the less stingy people have watched it on Discovery.

I'll just end by saying that if Vicki wants an innuendo - I'd be more than happy to give her one.

Pointless

There is something wrong with the British public.

Actually, we already knew that - Boris Johnson and Brexit prove that.

But they seem ignorant on important matters too.

There must also be something wrong with Top Gear.

I've just been watching Pointless.  They had a round on Top Gear presenters - 16 photos and the contestants had to identify the presenters in the photos.

Obviously I knew them all so I decided to go with Jon Bentley - I figured he was a shoe-in to be a pointless answer.

Here are the results straight from the TV on my bedroom wall:

Two members of the British public knew who Jon Bentley is.

Two also knew who Sabine Schmitz is.

BUT ONLY ONE KNOWS WHO CHRIS HARRIS IS!

And nobody knows who Vicki Butler-Henderson is!

Crazy!

Jeremy was top scorer and those famous for other things all scored highly too.

I'm not convinced that when Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, said that Top Gear was Kate Humble's big break in TV, that he was right.  I seem to remember her already being famous and her joining Top Gear and me thinking that she was a poor choice since she seemed to know bugger all about cars and driving - how history repeats itself.

And then Richard Osman pointed out that Tiff Needell ought to be Tiffany Dell and Alexander Armstrong asked him what Tiff was short for - Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, got it wrong.

He needs to read my blog.

Diabolical

I like Paddy McGuinness.  I find him funny.  I loved him in Phoenix Nights.

BUT GOD IS HE ANNOYING IN TOP GEAR!?

I stated when they were first announced, that this did not feel to me to be a good combination of presenters.

Apart from a few lapses, the first series wasn't too awful. But last week, when they were racing around the karting track in Bolton, I just got more and more annoyed with Paddy messing around - I reckon he caused the Freddie crash by spraying him with Cola.

Now this week, he trashes a Lambo!

Skidded on oil my foot!

I hated the car park musical chairs too - just seemed like pointless damage.

Did enjoy Freddie doing the 200mph and the Wheel of Death bit though.

Or am I just old?

Gear Change - Two to One

The Guardian's Stuart Heritage has two items of Paddy McGuinness news for us this week.

I haven't worked him out yet - Heritage not McGuinness - I do know he's better than Keith Watson of "The Metro" - but that's not difficult.  I think for one thing, he does actually know about the show he is talking about.

Always useful in a media journalist that.

In the story that Top Gear is to be moved from BBC2 to BBC1, he makes some very valid points including that the move has been designed to “attract younger viewers and safeguard the future of the licence fee” but younger viewers (and myself) tend to watch shows on catch-up so won't associate it with a particular channel anyway.

But, in the story that ITV are scrapping "Take Me Out" he says, "...you would have to be a monster not to be a little sad about its death."

Guess I must be a monster then.

I still don't approve of the current TG line-up but have to agree with Stuart that this series is very successful - possibly because it is now no longer a "mouldy old car show".

His words not mine - I like car shows and want more of them so would never stick the adjective "mouldy" in front of one - unless they were really crap - like the last two series of Driven or like "I Want That Car"

But Top Gear isn't crap.

It's just lost its way as a car show.  The bungee last week could have been done sitting in a bathtub (although I did enjoy the deceit that leaving the handbrake on would stop him).

The rear axle coming off the Firebird was very funny - please tell me that wasn't faked.

But having just the one motoring expert is restricting.  Don't tell Michael Gove,

 

...but we need more experts.  Otherwise, dumb stuff that is popular comes to the forefront:

La-la Land

It's the Los Angeles Motor Show!

And Elon Musk has revealed the Tesla Cybertruck:

Angular, isn't it?

 

Autocar have the full story and a few more pictures.  It has heavy hints of...

• DeLorean DMC-12
• Top Gear Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust
• Lego
• Tin Bath
• Mad Max Movies

Here's one of their photos - they all look like vapour-ware: 

There is one real one though - here it is embarrassing Elon Musk:

I Don't Like Being a Grown-Up

Actually, I do like being a grown-up.

It's just that, every so often, something like this comes along:

And it's remote-control!

Bully For You

We're three episodes in now.

Two to go.

Another short series.

It was starting to grow on me a bit.

But last night's show began to confirm my fears.

The bit last week when Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle and star of his new film Himesh Patel had to drive at speed at a closing barrier seemed a bit childish and unnecessary.

This week they had Olympic Horsewoman and Queen's Grand-daughter Zara Tindall together with her England Rugby star husband Mike driving a Jag at speed between two bollards for no good reason.

I suppose it makes the interviews a bit shorter for them but I'd rather know a bit more about the guests than see this.

 

I'm hoping that TG doesn't go the same way as Driven did during its death throes - that was such a shame.

But the bit that made me feel really uncomfortable was when Paddy and Freddie were stopping Chris from winning the stuff-as-much-stuff-into-a-family-car competition.

It looks like I wasn't alone with the word "bullying" coming into my head.  Here's the Metro (the Newspaper) report on the ensuing Twitter-storm.

 

I wonder if that is why they got shut of Rory Reid - they can cope with accusations of bullying but racist bullying would be going too far.

 

Chris has taken to Twitter himself to say that he didn't feel victimised and that the others are really kind people.

 

I suppose he had to do that or they'd have beaten him up.

27 Not Out?

Series 27 episode 1 of Top Gear has aired.

The one I was hoping not to like.

Well, it wasn't awful.  The relationships between the three presenters is promising and given that I like all three of them then I suppose that was always likely to be the case.

The BBC are bigging it up as you would expect.  They say that the critics give it "warm praise."  But then they open up that story to the Gammons who infest the BBC News Website with the predicted result.  I do hope that anyone who reads the comments on BBC News doesn't think that they are indicative of British attitudes.

So what did I think?  I enjoyed the Ethiopia bit.  I also enjoyed the Ferrari and McLaren bit but the fact Chris had to do it just shows that we have gone from three car experts (James, Jeremy & Richard) down to two and a half car experts (Chris, Rory & Matt) down to one car expert (Chris) - this will hamper what Top Gear is meant to be and also hamper the discussions within the banter.

Based on episode 1, I am willing to give it another go - I'll probably last the series but I don't see myself being bowled over.

Am I Going to be Disappointed on Father's Day?

Unfortunately, I expect so.

And there's nothing my children can do about it.

You see the BBC have chosen Father's Day to begin the new series of Top Gear.

Radio Times have been getting very excited about it.

It's on the front cover:

They also have this feature and this article online in which Chris Harris claims the new team will be better than Jeremy, James & Richard.

No it won't.

One preview clip presented to journalists featured Flintoff rubbing his unwashed hands over Harris after visiting the toilet.

Rory Reid's demotion is more pronounced too with the axing of his Extra Gear show.

I'll still be watching - I've got to give it a fair chance - but I can't believe that I'll be wanting it to fail. And maybe it won't - maybe I'll like it.

And maybe Brexit will be a success.

Flint-Off The Road

This is the sixth post on the row with "accident" in the labels - although two of them were the same accident.

The new series of Top Gear starts on Sunday - the last with the good presenters.

None of them would have mangled a market stall in Mansfield.