Brexit Bonus - Not!

It's been a while since I've had a rant about Brexit.  Steph was keeping schtum on her views which tend to veer to the right of centre so are more likely to be pro-Brexit.

But, as ever, a very interesting video from one of my favourite YouTubers:

What we have here is a Morris 1100 estate that was bought for £2200 from Sweden and that eventually cost more than twice that due to a combination of transport costs (unavoidable) and British and Swedish bureaucracy and taxes which wouldn't have existed before Brexit.

A couple of the comments seem to agree with me.  One twerp though claimed that one of the reasons he voted for Brexit was because EU laws were making it more difficult to keep classic cars.  I'd like to ask him to name one law that the EU actually forced on us but it looks like he deleted it when he found out that nobody was agreeing with him.

Ed, the purchaser of said vehicle, is an experienced mechanic working in a classic car restoration shop so will have little worries about getting the car fit to use as his daily driver.  He also has the confidence to convert it to right-hand-drive.

Which brings me to my most favourite comment, from @GrandadTinkerer, which has nothing to do with Brexit,

"Many years ago, my friend was asked to convert a mini from right-hand drive, to left-hand drive, as it was going to be used in France.  Pretty easy job he thought. No changes to the dash, just new pedal box and 'flip' the steering to the other side.  Conversion completed, he set off down the road and was immediately terrified as the car turned left, when he steered right!

He had failed to realise that by 'flipping' the steering rack, the pinion was now on the bottom, and effectively reversed the steering action!"

Alternators

I am a very successful motoring journalist who has just sold my internationally acclaimed TV Show about motoring (with an amusing bent) to Netflix.

Or I might be - in an alternative Universe where horrible things like Brexit and Jeggings and Vauxhall Agilas never happened.

If only.

Autocar today are looking at some if-only situations that could have changed motoring history - albeit not as much as me having my own TV show.  The article is here.

They look at how The Second World War could have been avoided by the bloke who drove into Hitler going a bit faster.

They sort of blame the recently deceased Frank Williams for annoying Adrian Newey enough such that he left Williams.  This led to McLaren and then Red Bull taking over the dominance or Formula 1.

They ask what would have happened if BMW hadn't bought Rover from under Honda's nose in 1994.  This is a trickier one with pros and cons on both sides but I can't help but think that the Rover and MG marques wouldn't have disappeared when the four directors took over and made a complete hash of it all.  The Triumph name might still be on some cars too.

Then it's back to F1 and the question of what would have happened if Gilles Villeneuve hadn't been killed in a crash during qualifying for the Belgian Grand Prix in 1982.  Maybe his nephew wouldn't have had a career?

Next in line, what if Saab had an equivalent version of the other GM branded plug-in hybrids The Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera?  Given the relative lack of success of the Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera (which is a shame - they were ahead of their time) then I doubt if it would have made much difference.

Finally, they return to Rover with the question, "What if... BMW had made the Pininfarina 1100?" Pretty sure that is a typo - it should read "What if... BMC had made the Pininfarina 1100?" But never mind, it is an interesting question and they even get a mention of the recently deceased Prince Philip in there.  It suggests a world without The Austin Allegro.  Very interesting.

However, what if the Autocar Team had thought a little longer...

A good question would be: What if Major Ivan Hirst had convinced a British car company to take on building the cars he found in a certain car factory in Wolfburg?

Or how about?: What if this year's Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Race Director Michael Masi had thought a little longer?

Electric Light Vans

Interesting article on the Autocar site today.  It is about Swindon and the effects of the forthcoming closure of the Honda car plant there.

It seems it won't be completely bleak for the workforce.  The Brexit that caused the closure (despite what they claim) has also left a shortage of workers for other industries so there will be other jobs in the area.

Meanwhile, it's all looking bright for Sunderland.  Nissan's car plant was in similar danger of closure but they have announced an expansion to build electric cars and a new plant building electric vehicle batteries.  The Government have negotiated this a part of a deal involving a large input of public money.  Nobody will admit how large but given that it is in the North of England where the Tories are ingratiating themselves with the voters, we can safely assume that we are putting a huge amount in.

The battery plant will be vitally important for the future of the British car industry - trying to import large numbers of batteries from Europe or elsewhere would be a logistical nightmare.

The other site in danger is (or hopefully "was") Vauxhall's plant down the road from me in Ellesmere Port.  It looks like the "Home of the Astra" will become the "Home of Electric Vans".   Not particularly exciting but a sensible move in the current climate.

More exciting would be building a different electric vehicle.

This I really like:

Although the eyes are a bit scary.

It is an E-Legend EL1 - modelled on the Audi Quattro.  There will only be 30 of them and they will sell for about £1 Million each - shame - it's just out of my price range.

It mustn't be confused with the Honda Legend which, unlike the Civic, Accord, Jazz and CR-V, has never been built at their Swindon plant.

And now, it never will.

The Green Flash

Remember October last year when I told you about green number plates?

Of course you do.

Well, as of today they are a thing. Autocar have the story - not seen it anywhere else.  The Government have plumped for this design:

Basically, just a green flash.

"But, what is the point?" I hear you ask.

Good question.

Well, they signify zero emission (aka electric) vehicles.  And, "Research carried out by Nissan and Yougov claims that 32% of people surveyed would be more likely to buy an electric car because of the new plates, and the prospect of further incentives to be rolled out as a result. This could include specific zero-emission parking zones, exemption from road charges and even zero-emission lanes."

What?

"Research carried out by Nissan and Yougov claims that 32% of people surveyed would be more likely to buy an electric car because of the new plates, and the prospect of further incentives to be rolled out as a result. This could include specific zero-emission parking zones, exemption from road charges and even zero-emission lanes."

I know but I'm still not convinced.

Anyway, being Welsh, I've always fancied one of these perfectly legal plates:

Would that entitle me to half-price road charges and to use half of the zero emission parking bays and lanes?

The biggest flaw in this plan though, is that there is nothing to stop you getting some green sticky paper and turning your diesel Volkswagen into something getting the benefits of a Renault Zoe.

And, after December 31st, the rather dim readers of the painfully sycophantic Daily Express will know exactly where to stick them:

Am I Going to be Disappointed on Father's Day?

Unfortunately, I expect so.

And there's nothing my children can do about it.

You see the BBC have chosen Father's Day to begin the new series of Top Gear.

Radio Times have been getting very excited about it.

It's on the front cover:

They also have this feature and this article online in which Chris Harris claims the new team will be better than Jeremy, James & Richard.

No it won't.

One preview clip presented to journalists featured Flintoff rubbing his unwashed hands over Harris after visiting the toilet.

Rory Reid's demotion is more pronounced too with the axing of his Extra Gear show.

I'll still be watching - I've got to give it a fair chance - but I can't believe that I'll be wanting it to fail. And maybe it won't - maybe I'll like it.

And maybe Brexit will be a success.

A bit of a Logistical problem for Morgan

There is a very funny post being shared by the Gammons on Facebook.

Incidentally, did you know there is a Gammon Road in Wisconsin?

For those of you not on Facebook, the text is thus:

For those of you who are on Facebook, the comments from the Pro-EU group who have shared it are very good.

Not sure where we are going to find the £10 Trillion Pounds from.

Or what you are supposed to store in a Euro crate.

Or how buying existing houses will solve the chronic housing shortage.

I'm pretty sure that prisoners don't each have a PC and they only get daily phone calls if someone smuggles in a mobile up their bottom - not something I would advise a pensioner to do.

But I do like the bit about cows.

Meanwhile, it will be very difficult to buy British cars.  While it is true that cars are still currently being built in Britain, the Germans own Mini, Rolls and Bentley.  Meanwhile, Nissan, Honda & Toyota profits go back to Japan, Jaguar Land-Rover is Indian and Vauxhall is now French.

I don't see many over-50s (and I include myself in this) tearing around in BAC Monos or Ariel Atoms.

So that leaves Morgan!

They are going to need a bigger factory.

The Sky's The Limit

The Gammons that infest the BBC News Have-Your-Say section are not happy.

They are using phrases like "Nanny State".

They are blaming the EU.

This is why.

Here it is in diagram form:

All new cars sold in Europe in 3 years time will have speed limiting devices fitted by law.

 

However, I don't think they should be called "limiters" - because you can still go faster - I don't think Gammons are good at reading articles.  Which is why I expect no abuse from this one (plus nobody usually reads my stuff anyway)

The Department of Transport here has stated that we will also have this rule irrespective of Brexit - not that the EU have ever forced a law on the UK (but Gammons loudly ignore that fact)

My main concern with this technology is the bit in the article where they say:

Under the new rules, cars will also be fitted with compulsory data recorders, or "black boxes"

Now we are getting into dodgy territory.

Pre-2022 cars will be more attractive for this reason.

And what do you do when your speed limit signs get dirty?

Not a problem in Notts. or Norfolk.

Opportunity Knocks for Vauxhall

Here's a story for the Brexiteers to cling on to.

 

It involves the tranquil Mediterranean fishing village of Ellesmere Port (pronounced L.S.Meer Portay)

 

Actually it's pronounced as it's spelled - only with a Scouse accent.

 

I drive past it every day on my way to work.

It's where a lot of Vauxhall/Opel Astras are built.

 

And will hopefully continue to be built after Brexit.  The boss of PSA who own the Vauxhall and Opel brands is reported as stating in this Autocar article, that Brexit may be a good opportunity for Vauxhall.

 

He may be right.

 

A British-badged vehicle built on this side of any tariffs that may be imposed could be a winner.

 

He is quoted thusly, "I am not facing Brexit always on the dark side of this outcome: there may be for the Vauxhall brand an opportunity for us. We are managing our marketing communications in the UK in a way that is very supportive of a British brand in the UK."

If his English is a little stunted, it is infinitely better than my Portuguese (his nationality) and my French which is presumably the language he spends a lot of time talking in.  This is him, Carlos Tavares:

He was almost certainly correct with,

"We prepare for the two outcomes and will deal with them when it comes up. Most probably there’s going to be a delay, which gives us a little more visibility for 2019."

Although the quote that I, as a devout Remoaner, mostly picked up on was,

"We can go on the dark side and say ‘perhaps we have to shut down plants’, and if we have to make difficult decisions we will."

Vauxhall/Opel only assemble Astras and Vivaro vans in the UK which they also assemble in Poland and France respectively so what about the Opel-badged vehicles?  And the rest of the Vauxhall range?

Nissan has already part-blamed Brexit from stopping the X-Trail in Sunderland while Honda is refusing to blame it for shutting it's Swindon factory but I think that has more to do with the fact that their customer-base is old people.

For the sake of the local economy and people I know who work there, I hope that Vauxhall Ellesmere Port goes on to thrive.

And I mean that most sincerely, folks, I really do.

The Future Just Ain't What It Used To Be.

In 2036 I have to re-apply for my driving licence because I will be old.

Should I bother?

According to The BBC, this DS Concept Car showcases what will be the typical cars of 2035.

I was sort of on board if not a bit perplexed by the reporter's idea of "sitting back, cocooned in luxury."

But then I heard it.

They need to sort out the annoying whine or everyone travelling by car in the future will have terrible headaches.

Mind you 2019 seems to have a few problems too.  Whether it is uninsured drivers demonstrating their stupidity.  Or perhaps team-building courses that involve scrapyards.  I'm sure I could come up with some positive ideas for team-building in scrapyards - although Health & Safety might get upset at the first-to-extract-an-undamaged-speedometer-from-a-Ford-Sierra round.

2019 also has Brexit and Trump.

Let's hope 2019 also sees the end of Brexit and Trump.

Then we just need to sort out the car noises and we will be fine.

Something Good Come Out of Brexit?

I doubt it - I think it's just an excuse.

Mahindra are using it to justify stopping selling the e2o electric car in Britain.

It was just over a year ago that Autocar and I reported on the prospect of these ugly things coming over here - using our roads - taking our parking spaces.  How dare they!

Anyway, today, Autocar and Reuters of all people are announcing that Mahindra are pulling the plug on it.  See what they did there?  "Pulling The Plug" - it's an electric car - I like that.

Apparently, sales have been "untenable".

Well Duh!  Look at it!

All outstanding orders are cancelled.  They are also buying back sold cars at the original asking price.  That seems a strange move - are they ashamed of them? I would be but that's beside the point.  Maybe there's something they aren't telling us - perhaps, as I speculated last April, there really is some safety thing going on here - with added legal implications?

Or maybe Brexit has seen off an obnoxious, ugly, runt not welcome on our shores.

One more now please...

Fools Seldom Differ

It's been April Fools Day today.

The Express decided to make up a story about how the EU want us all to swap out EU Registration Plates after Brexit for "safety reasons".

Incidentally, I've always wondered about the Irish system like this example - I mean if you saw a car with this registration, how could you tell if it was built in 2005 or 1905?  Daft eh?

It was probably just an excuse for the violently pro-Brexit "paper" to spout a bit more anti-EU propaganda to its readers who happily lap it all up.

And they did - as reported in The Independent's Indy 100:

And, apart from the guy who only has two short words to say, NONE OF THE COMMENTER'S CAN SPELL.

I'm afraid it's a sad indictment on the world we live in today.  It sort of explains Brexit and Trump that there are lots of gullible people out there who would rather just take in the bile espoused by the Express, The Sun and, the worst of them all, The Mail rather than do a bit of simple research and look for the truth.

Meanwhile, on a completely unrelated note, Lotus announced their new range of crash helmets for cats today:

 

Rolls Royce Brexit

Last week, I decided that there could have been a Ford Brexit.

Then, the World (or Europe at least) fell apart.  We have reports of an acrimonious split and headline-hitting resignations.

Yes, apparently, Matt LeBlanc will quit Top Gear if Chris Evans isn't sacked.  It was reported by The Sun after speaking to "a source".  Now, The Sun does have quite a bit of form for publishing lies but Evans & LeBlanc do seem to be harder to find at the moment than Boris Johnson & Nigel Farage.  Evans didn't do his scheduled Radio 2 show this morning.

While we're discussing form, Top Gear has form for controversial number plates.

And last night, we saw Evans' Rolls Royce Corniche driving about part of the EU with a Brexit Number Plate:

That's  BRX 522 T  which is near enough.

5 is the number of the Top Gear episode that came straight after the Brexit vote.
2 is the number of Top Gear Presenters that include Evans and LeBlanc.
and 2 is thember of guests that we now have every week on the Top Gear sofa.

Wow.  Spooky Huh?