The Party's Over

The Conservative Party?

I wish.

No, this party is a fiesta - the Ford Fiesta is dead.

Or will be soon anyway.

A bit of crappy Ford management-speak states,

"We are accelerating our efforts to go all-in on electrification and therefore review our vehicle portfolio in line with our business strategy. We do not comment on speculation and will share more information in the coming months.”

This is their response to being asked if the Fiesta will be joining its already deceased sibling, the Mondeo.

So they won't deny it then?

Auto-Express have the story here.

Autocar use it as an excuse to repeat one of their slideshows.

The Fiesta is already conspicuously absent from the top-selling cars lists - like this one - which is sadly dominated by cross-over SUVs - like Ford's horrific Kuga and Puma which both get mentions.  

Interesting that the Focus has gone from the top 10 too.

Also interesting though is that in at number one is Vauxhall's Fiesta-rival the Corsa.

I think Ford's Marketing Department have missed the party.

This Week I have Been Mostly Driving...

 ...a Triumph TR7, A Reliant Robin and a Bentley 8.

Actually, I've mostly been driving my BMW 320i but I have had a go in all three if those too.

The TR7 was fun -  but considering how small it is, it was still a shock to have to deal with steering without power-assistance.  And it was an even bigger shock to find out that the brakes didn't really work.

The Robin was awful to drive - but I can't say I wasn't expecting that.  The seat adjustment had failed so I was struggling, being a short-arse, to reach the pedals.  Meanwhile, the gearbox had mostly failed - I had to leave it in second once I'd got it there.  The course involved a little slalom around some cones and I have to admit that the Reliant did actually cope OK with that - in fact it handled all cornering in the same way a car with the correct number of wheels would - and now I can say that I've driven one.

I somehow managed to save the best until last, the blue car in the background is the Bentley.  The size was a little intimidating but it felt lovely to waft around a small industrial estate and the slalom was fun.

So why was I driving these vehicles?  Because I paid some money to Drive Dad's Car, part of the Great British Car Journey - a museum of British classic cars in Derbyshire.

The indemnity you have to sign is a lot scary but you shouldn't come to much harm where you are driving.

The museum is excellent for the British car fan of a certain age.

A got close up for the first time ever with a Gilbern:

And also a Bristol:

Ugly, isn't it?

I can't decide whether or not the Jensen 541 is ugly or not - from some angles (they had a couple of Ford Anglias there) it looks a lot like the Mercedes 300SL:

So I looked up the facts to see who had been copying who.  Turns out both cars appeared in 1954.

They also have two Morris Minor Millions there - one in the museum and one out to drive.  This was a special edition of the Morris Minor (also known as the Morris 1000) from when Morris didn't do special editions. It celebrated the millionth Minor produced. They are a strange pinky-lilac colour with a twist on the usual "1000" badge:

Meanwhile, where else are you going to see a McLaren parked next to an old Mondeo?

The Great British Car Journey of course!

Sexy Cars

Honda HP-V anybody?

Now there's a car that doesn't seem to deserve to be in a Post entitled "Sexy Cars"

How about a Mondeo STi?

Now that's a bit more like it.

But wait...

...haven't I got those car names a little wrong?

That's a Honda HR-V (an SUV with all the allure of a sexually transmitted infection) and a Ford Mondeo ST TDCi (although the ST Fords have been referred to as STi in the past - sexually transmitted injection perhaps?)

So why am I suddenly linking sexually transmitted diseases to cars?

Because Trevor Noah and The Daily Show have just caught up with this story.

A Missouri woman has been awarded $5,000,000 (yes five million!) after catching HPV from her boyfriend in his car which was insured by big American Insurance company Geico.

He didn't tell her that he was infected and needless to say - he is now her ex-boyfriend.

But that's hardly the car's fault (a Hyundai Genesis apparently) - if they had had sex in his bed, would be claiming on his home insurance?

It turns out this is more to do with a point of law and Geico not putting forward representation when given the opportunity - the BBC have a slightly, very slightly, more sober account from 4 days ago here.

Anyway, for her cheek alone, this woman should be given a clap.

The End of The World

As an English speaker, I never made the connection with the name Mondeo (Ford's "World Car") and various words for "World" in the Latin languages - Mundo, Monde, Mondo.

He's left is lights on - hope he doesn't get a flat battery.

Anyway, Autocar announced the inevitable this week - the death of the Mondeo.

They followed it up the following day with one of their most-excellent slideshows portraying the history of the car.

I use the word "inevitable" as it was fighting a losing battle on three fronts:

1. Premium Brands
2. Smaller Cars
3. Bloody SUVs/Crossovers

Being a badge-snob, I am guilty of the first of these - my last three cars, a Merc, a Jag and my current BMW are Mondeo sized vehicles - my Jag even shared its underpinnings with the Mondeo - but why have a Ford when you can have a premium name for not too much more money and with less depreciation.  And, as Autocar point out, cars bought/financed on leasing schemes take into account depreciation so it can actually work out cheaper to get a premium brand.

Smaller cars are getting bigger - a subject I tackled in 2019.  Mondeo Man doesn't actually need a Mondeo any more - a Focus is plenty big enough for him and his 2.4 children - the 0.4 can go in the boot.

Since the new car registrations - the 21-Reg's - came out on March 1st, every single one of them I have seen has been a cross-over.  I hate them - but an awful lot of Chinese people love them and an awful lot of British people seem to too - it is depressing but most people are not car people.

So, as a car fan, this may not actually be the end of The World, but it is the end of The World as we know it.

1996 Honda Accord For Sale

The 2018 Honda Accord looks quite good in a the-front-radiator-grille-has-fallen-off sort of way.

But we won't be able to buy it in Britain.  In fact we haven't been able to buy a new Accord since 2015.  That sector of the market has been taken over by the luxury Germans on one side and the Mazda 5 and Hyundai/Kia i40/Optima on the other side.  You don't even see Mondeos on Ford forecourts nowadays.

 

Meanwhile, in the land where you can still buy a new Accord, a 1996 version is doing very well thank you on an auction site thanks to a very professional advert made by a professional film-maker.

 

The BBC report it here.

 

And here is the ad: 

It's a wonder nobody has thought of this before.

Oh yes, they did.

Everything's Getting Smaller

We used to buy our Coca-Cola in 2 litre bottles.

Then suddenly, last year, they became 1.75 litre bottles.

For the same price.

Were they hoping we wouldn't notice?

Apparently not.  And we're supposed to be happy about it too.

That's still three-quarters of litre more than some Mondeo drivers will be getting though.

This car review from The Telegraph caught my eye this week.  It's of the Ford Mondeo 1.0 EcoBoost.

Don't know why they used this picture though - that's a Ford Mondeo Titanium Tdci.

The review is by Andrew English who is described as "Motoring Correpondent, Telegraph Cars" - I wonder what other sorts of correspondent Telegraph Cars have.  He gives it three out of five stars.  Andrew English also provided the review for Auto Express and gave it 3 out of 5 stars there too.

He says that the engine looks small in the engine bay - I would have liked to see a photo, the nearest I could find anywhere was this Ford diagram:

He also quotes Ulrich Koesters, Ford’s vehicle line director for larger cars, who says: “most customers do not trust that such a small displacement engine has enough torque to pull a large car like the Mondeo.”  I can well believe that - it would be a concern of mine - even though it is turbo-charged.

I am guessing that this car is being aimed at the fleet market where engine size and economy play their part with tax incentives.  I have visited a few Ford dealerships over the past year or two and you never see a Mondeo on the lot.  I guess Focuses and Fiestas have gotten bigger so these have taken over the family car market along with the SUVs, people carriers and German upmarket marques.  So when I say "Everything's Getting Smaller" that doesn't include Focuses or Fiestas (or Corsas or Golfs or just about any other car too)

Can't see the average sales rep being happy driving one of these although it does have a claimed top speed of 124mph - but it might struggle if you put some passengers in it.  Probably won't be a big hit with the Caravan Club either.

Unless...

Top Ghia

Two big companies hit the headlines (if you looked at the right sites) this week with announcements about new products.

The motoring press were keen to hear about Ford's new Vignale range which will be a posh-end sub-brand to their standard range. Here's a Mondeo Vignale to be debuted at Frankfurt next week:

It's brown.

 

CarAdvice have the story here while Pistonheads cover it here together with a very cheesy 1980s ad (although it's more like a music video) for Ford RS accessories featuring an Escort from that time.  Just about every motoring site around also has the story with their own take on it - most seem quite negative - especially if you read readers' comments.

 

I can understand why.

 

Ford have always had top-spec cars - usually with the Ghia moniker.  Ghia being an Italian coach-builder/design-house much like Vignale.  In America they used the Mercury brand - until they scrapped it.  Here, they owned Jaguar, Aston-Martin and Volvo - until they sold them all.

 

Ford are suggesting separate facilities within their dealerships for their Vignale customers - that will cost a fair bit and possibly make their existing buyers feel second-rate.

 

Rather than buy a posh Ford, people will just go out and buy a posher brand - BMW being the obvious one.

 

Now, where have I heard that name Vignale before?

 

Ah yes, here:

 

And why Vignale anyway?  Ghia is easier to pronounce.

 

Both have an illustrious history - here are couple of 1950s Abarth Fiats:

 

This is the Vignale. Hmm...

...and this is the Ghia.  The Ghia is moderately less ugly - even with Tweetie-pie's beak.

Of course, Ghia has its own connotations - here's Delboy's "Capri Ghia" as he liked it to be known or "Pratmobile" as Rodney liked it to be known: 

Some of the motoring press are saying that if this actually works, then the sporty Ford-buyer will be offered a sporty sub-brand - the ST - which just brings us back to the RS brand in the Pistonheads video.

 

Now, the other company with a proud, important pre-launch is Samsung.  They seem to like the name Ford is rejecting so let's just hope that there is no confusion between the Ford Galaxy Ghia... 

and the Samsung Galaxy Gear... 

'03 Ford For Sale

1903 that is.Fox News have the story of this Model A Rear Entry Tonneau (presumably the forerunner of the Mondeo) coming to auction with a pre-sale estimate of $300,000 to $500,000 - and it only cost $850 when new.

Pistonheads, meanwhile, are reporting on another item up for auction - the Dunlop Bridge from Donington Park.I won't be bidding because I already have the Scalextric version - I don't need the real thing.

Besides, it doesn't include the metal framework which you would need in order to walk over it! Apparently that was scrapped when Donington were doing all the work to upgrade when they were getting set for their ill-fated venture into hosting the British Grand Prix.

A venture that proved to be a bridge too far.