Gear Change - Two to One

The Guardian's Stuart Heritage has two items of Paddy McGuinness news for us this week.

I haven't worked him out yet - Heritage not McGuinness - I do know he's better than Keith Watson of "The Metro" - but that's not difficult.  I think for one thing, he does actually know about the show he is talking about.

Always useful in a media journalist that.

In the story that Top Gear is to be moved from BBC2 to BBC1, he makes some very valid points including that the move has been designed to “attract younger viewers and safeguard the future of the licence fee” but younger viewers (and myself) tend to watch shows on catch-up so won't associate it with a particular channel anyway.

But, in the story that ITV are scrapping "Take Me Out" he says, "...you would have to be a monster not to be a little sad about its death."

Guess I must be a monster then.

I still don't approve of the current TG line-up but have to agree with Stuart that this series is very successful - possibly because it is now no longer a "mouldy old car show".

His words not mine - I like car shows and want more of them so would never stick the adjective "mouldy" in front of one - unless they were really crap - like the last two series of Driven or like "I Want That Car"

But Top Gear isn't crap.

It's just lost its way as a car show.  The bungee last week could have been done sitting in a bathtub (although I did enjoy the deceit that leaving the handbrake on would stop him).

The rear axle coming off the Firebird was very funny - please tell me that wasn't faked.

But having just the one motoring expert is restricting.  Don't tell Michael Gove,

 

...but we need more experts.  Otherwise, dumb stuff that is popular comes to the forefront:

Top Near?

With the departure of Jeremy, lots of questions are being asked about the future of Top Gear.

• What will happen to the unshown episodes?
• Will it continue?
• Who would present it?
• What will Jeremy do next?
• What will Richard & James do next?
• Why am I asking these questions?

I'll take the last one first.  Top Gear has a lot of fans and Jeremy's contract was not renewed after his "fracas" - I went into more detail not long after it happened.  In that, I speculated that Jodie Kidd would be a good replacement - break up the testosterone a bit.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

What will happen to the unshown episodes?

They will be shown - or the already-filmed bits will anyway.

Will it continue?


Yes.

Who would present it?


Well, now isn't that the interesting bit?  This would hinge on whether we were just replacing Jeremy or replacing all three presenters. (I'm not including The Stig in this because he has been replaced at least twice and nobody really cared.)

If it was a straight-swap for Jeremy - middle-aged grumpy white bloke - then I would give the job without question to Jason Plato - I love hearing his quotes when something has gone wrong for him in the BTCC.

Today, however, James has been speaking to The Guardian and basically ruled himself out of appearing in Top Gear without Jeremy.  This would probably mean that Richard would do the same.

So we need three new presenters.  Channel controller Kim Shillinglaw has the job of finding these presenters - and she may be inclined to go along the female route.

My dream team in this case would be Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd & Vicki Butler-Henderson.

Looks like former presenter Angela Rippon has thrown her name into the ring (not to be confused with "The 'Ring" which is where Sabine Schmitz made her name) - I can remember Angie as a Top Gear presenter but that was when it was a sensible car show.

Sue Perkins is another name linked with the job - in fact the bookmakers had her down as favourite - I don't know why - she has shown no interest in cars whatsoever as far as I know.  Sue then became the victim of all sorts of threats from various morons unhappy about the idea - I concur wholeheartedly with James' response.

I hope Kim will be casting these roles to people who do actually have an interest in cars, though.  In fact, I hope Andy Wilmin, the show's producer, has the final say.

What will Jeremy do next?


Another car show.

What will Richard & James do next?

Another car show - possibly with Jeremy.  They will probably also still be contracted to the BBC for their other projects (Total Wipeout, Manlab etc.) even though their Top Gear contracts have expired.  This could prevent them doing "Clarkson, May & Hammond" on Sky TV - for a while at least.  James sees the door still open for a return of the three of them with Top Gear on the BBC in the future - I don't see any legal reasons why not but I just don't envisage it.

They could remake Last of The Summer Wine though.

A lot has happened since these youngish men...

 ...became these oldish men...

And I'm sure the story isn't over yet.

The Guardian had the scoop interview with James today.

They also had this suggestion which I like a lot.  A heck of a lot.  Click on it.  Think regeneration Doctor Who style.

  Top Marx.

That Sinking Feeling

This bad weather and flooding that is affecting the UK at the moment is causing another problem too.

 

Sinkholes.

 

And they seem to be attacking cars.

 

The first one, reported by the BBC, hit Buckinghamshire at the start of the month.

 

It swallowed a VW Lupo.

Next, also reported bt the BBC, our motorway network was attacked.  The M2 to be precise, although it was the Central Reservation that opened up so no cars got taken. 

Today, however, The Guardian reports a very audacious car-swallowing act over in Kentucky, USA.

 

A total of eight Corvettes spanning 45 years went down a hole in the National Corvette Museum: 

I like the way the reader's comments in the Guardian article diverge onto discussing building foundations.  If it had been a Telegraph or Mail article, there would be heated arguments going on about American Cars or how local councils don't do enough to help flood victims.

 

I also like the comment added by reader Zoomer who, responding to the fact that a Corvette Museum exists in the first place, says, "It used to be profitable but they're in a hole now."

 

Maybe we need to get the Top Gear team on the case.

 

Everyone laughed at them in the last series when they invented the Hovervan to cope with floods in the West Country and now we have floods in the West Country.

 

Now we need cars that will hover or maybe be completely enveloped in airbags as soon they find themselves suddenly dropping.

 

Jeremy?