Wish You Were Here...?

I hate the word "Holibobs".

It should ever only be used by persons involved in conversations that include somebody under the age of 8.

Anyway, I've just got back from my holling-days.

I was told many years ago that if you ever go to New Zealand, it is like the UK about 30 years before with Austin Cambridges and Ford Populars roaming the streets - I was told this in the 1980s.

Anyway, I didn't go to New Zealand.

I went to the Greek island of Domestos.

Actually, I went to the Greek island of Zykanthos - also known as Zante - it was very good.

Although there were many cars from the UK about 20-30 years before.

Like this early Disco:

And millions of hateful little Hyundai Amicas and Atozes (or whatever the plural of Atoz is) - I hope they are ex-rental vehicles because the state of them, especially the Atozes was very poor.

But they were still running.

There were quite a few turn-of-the-Century Primera saloons too - not a popular choice of Primera here in the UK.

The big advantage of most of your vehicle stock being that old is that there were VERY FEW CROSS-OVER SUVs!

But, the few that do exist show the driving, and in this case parking skills of your typical cross-over SUV driver:

Note the Kia Pride in this picture taken through a tinted coach window.

They should reintroduce the Pride name - it would be popular with the LGBTQ+ community.

There are also quite a few seemingly abandoned cars about the island - like this BMW...

...and some sort of Toyota parked up next to it.

Talking of abandoned (or ripe for restoration) Toyotas - look at this Celica GT Liftback:

Then there is this (very much not abandoned) car that looks like it may need some bodywork - it looks at first glance that it has been shot at or just badly corroded but it has actually been adorned with Zakynthos "evil" eyes:

Finally on this holiday report, returning to that Discovery from before, you will notice a motorbike parked next to it.

Lots of people, myself included, took a photo or two of it.

Its owner would have been very pleased that people were taking so much interest in it - it was a de-badged, bit customised jobbie that I don't know enough about motorbikes to be able to identify.

I do know however, that it wasn't any of these:

• A Brough Superior
• A Vincent Black Shadow
• A Honda Cub 50
• The Flying Millyard
• The Millyard Viper
• A Lambretta
• A BSA Bantam
• A Honda Goldwing
• A Harley Davidson Electra Glide
• An Easy Rider-style Chopper

If you asked be what it was, I'd probably have to give the answer that car people hate most when they ask someone what make of car it is that they are wanting to tell us a story about:

"It was a black one"

And in this case, it is irrelevant because everybody was photographing this little chap who was sitting on the bike:

This is Judith Chalmers signing off - hope you enjoyed the show.

Rouille en Paix

That's French for "Rust in Peace"

Google Translate says it is anyway - a Frenchman may disagree.

It's probably not a good idea to visit France at the moment, unless you don't mind a couple of weeks quarantine on your return.

Which means that you could be missing out on an unusual tourist attraction.

Last month's Top Gear Magazine plugged an interesting book entitled "Lost Wheels" by Dieter Klein.

"It all started in Cognac, in this French town in Nouvelle-Aquitane, at the edge of a small village close by, I fell in love with Rosalie"

I think that is a better opening line than "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" and certainly better than "Call me Ishmael."

Especially when you find out that Rosalie is an abandoned Citroën delivery truck.  The book is full of beautifully photographed abandoned cars and other vehicles.

So why am I bringing this up now?

I'll tell you.

Autocar today have an interesting article by American-based-in-France-with-an-Irish-first-name Ronan Glon which involves abandoned cars in France.

Some are old:

Apparently that is a Renault Monaquatre from the early '30s.  It would have looked like this:

Some are unrecognisable:

Believe it or not, that is a Renault Fuego.

 

What I like about this article is that Ronan and his researchers have tried to find out about the specific cars and vans - checking out number plates, VIN plates and even door hinges in one case to identify a Peugeot.

 

Some are surprising, like this Celica:

That Toyota is probably my favourite but this Renault 4 inspired Ronan so much that they have bought it:

It's a shame that some of these cars have ended up in this state - some have been stolen and stripped for parts - some just parked and forgotten about.  Some were used to build a dam - which didn't last very long.

A bit of a beautiful mess.

Talking of messes, our Government is insisting that the schools will reopen in September.  They may have a bit of a problem now:
You do realise we're all in France? say teachers (satire - but only just)

Meanwhile, in a Ford Galaxy, Far, Far Away...

Today, Autoguide tell us that "If the Millennium Falcon Was a Car, Here’s What it Would Look Like" - together with this picture: 

No it bloody wouldn't!  That's a Nissan!

 

And, worse than that - it's an SUV!

 

Wouldn't fancy taking that down the local high street, the view out is abysmal:

Also, I'd always assumed the MF was right-hand drive, like the USS Enterprise.  I thought Chewbacca was the driver.

 

Meanwhile, the Minecraft Millennium Falcon looks like an Oreo.

It's probably actually very clever - I'm not sure because I never ventured beyond Lego.  The info is here.

 

Meanwhile, back to Nissan:  What has Star Wars got to do with a Nissan X-Trail (for that is what that car really is) anyway?  Surely they'd be better with a Ford Falcon - especially a late '70s version from when Star Wars was good: 

Ah, well there's the clever bit.  In the US, the X-Trail is called The Rogue - as in Star Wars Rogue One - Geddit?

 

Meanwhile, back to the '70s when Star Wars was good (Phantom Menace put me off for ever) - another Japanese manufacturer produced a special Star Wars themed car, I give you the Toyota Celica GT - Star Wars Special:

Nice.

 

Unlike the Nissan.

 

Last week, on Star Wars day, Car+Driver ran with this story about that car.  Today, nobody knows what happened to it.

 

Unusually for a Japanese car, I suspect it has broken down somewhere: