The Policeman's Nose

 

Can AI catch drunk drivers?

Auto Express are reporting on a trial by Devon & Cornwall Police this month to try and find out.

It uses "cloud-based algorithms" so it must be good.

The idea is to plonk a policeman at the side of the road then get cameras to look at cars on nearby roads to see if there is any driving that could indicate an impaired person at the wheel.

It seems to be a possible solution to the issue of the loss of thousands of experienced police officers, including traffic officers, during the cuts of the last Government.  That's a lot of noses.

I hope they are combining the cameras properly though - I was following a car on the motorway yesterday that kept veering out of its lane - I have no doubt that the driver was using a phone - and probably sober.

So will it work?

Who nose?

Drink this in

Is it better to catch criminals or to prevent crime in the first place?

Prevention is allegedly meant to be better than cure.

I suppose you are in danger of putting a lot of prison officers out of work - it may be a while before that is the issue here in the UK though.

The Australians have a bloody good idea along this theme - and it's to do with drink-driving.

Just breathalyse the drivers BEFORE they get in their cars.

Drive.com.au have the story here.

Although the Brummies were doing it 10 years earlier.

Another good thing about this idea is it means that the cops can have a swift half while they are there.

Mark Harping on.

According to this Auto Express story, A new law is set to bring self-driving cars to UK roads in two years and puts responsibility in the hands of manufacturers if there is an accident.

No it won't.

The article goes on to clarify...

The vehicles must “achieve a level of safety at least as high as careful and competent human drivers”.

That's not going to happen in two years.

Plus "the government says the legal culpability will be placed firmly on the manufacturer, as well as the insurance company that covers the car, with the driver not deemed a driver per se, but a user-in-charge"

So even if they could find a manufacturer happy to risk some prosecutions for causing death by dangerous driving - the insurance companies will refuse to insure such usage.  Which is a shame because this law would be the get-out clause allowing me to drive to a party or pub, get somewhat inebriated, and be driven home by my own car.

The landlords of country pubs will like this law.

Mark Harper, who is our current Transport Secretary apparently, jumped on the bandwagon stating, "Britain stands at the threshold of an automotive revolution, and this new law is a milestone moment for our self-driving industry which has the potential to change the way we travel forever.”

No it doesn't.

He also turned up polluting one of my favourite Youtube channels the other being "interviewed" by Steph from idriveaclassic  - I don't know if she is a bit Tory but she gave him an easy time and let him make snide comments about Labour and the London ULEZ zone without pointing out that it was Boris Johnson who introduced it and it is the government that is forcing the metropolitan councils to hit stricter air pollution target levels - not that that is a bad thing.

I was quite amused though that he and several of the anti-electric brigade commenting on the video seemed completely oblivious that he was stood next to a Rolls-Royce Phantom II that had been converted over to run on...

...ELECTRICITY!

Here's some info on it.

Anyway, back to his comment about Britain being at the threshold of an automotive revolution.

It isn't.

We now have to compete with Europe as well as Korea and Japan and the like but the Chinese are miles ahead - especially when it comes to electric vehicles.  They are even after a share of our London buses.  Autocar have finally decided that I don't have an ad-blocker after all so I can share this story now.

If Autocar thinks that you have an ad-blocker you won't be able to read this so I'll give you the gist.

This is the BYD BD11...

The Chinese hope that this EV will be the replacement for the hybrid Wrightbus New Routemaster - which I was surprised to learn was only built from 2011 to 2017.  A thousand were built - in the UK - before the company went into administration.

Charging is possible at up to 500kW via a pantograph connection which sounds fun, trolleybus anyone? - but you can plug it into the mains too.  A usable range of more than 400 miles is being suggested.

BYD UK's commercial vehicle managing director Frank Thorpe said he "hopes" it can replace Wrightbus's New Routemaster as the default London bus.

Seems legit.

The Undertakers

 This is one of several versions of my favourite anti-drink-drive adverts:

The caption is usually something like, "Who is going to drive you home tonight?"

Most excellent.

This morning, my dash-cam caught a couple of candidates for the undertakers undertaking undertaking manoeuvres.

The first one is an impatient van driver who doesn't appreciate driving at 25mph in the 20mph zone I highlighted the other week.

I have no sympathy for him - he is a tosser.

The second one though, I may have to admit doing myself - I hate middle-lane hogs.

And will someone please remind me to shift that flyer from my dashboard?

Drink-Driver caught on the M6.

He only got a £100 fine though.

It's one of two short motoring/Police videos today on the BBC News site.

He also got a telling off!

Meanwhile, over in The States, a driver managed to get into the staff room of a New Jersey Police Station.

I can't believe how non-plussed the officers are to find him there - especially since one could have been badly hurt if they were in there at the time.  He was named as John Hargreaves of Belvidere, New Jersey and is facing charges of burglary; criminal mischief; possession of a weapon for unlawful purposes; aggravated assault; harassment; and terrorism. Nice chap.  The phrase "right-wing nutter" comes to mind.

And he's damaged a filing cabinet with his car door.

This couldn't happen in Britain.

Because The Tories closed all of the Police Stations.

Renault Megone

Couple of unusual crime stories from this week.

First an idiot in Northampton buys a Renault Megane, doesn't insure it, gets behind the wheel, nearly crashes into a Police vehicle and gets it impounded:

Fox News have the story here.  Being Fox News, they aren't too good on accuracy.  They say that it was a "new silver Renault Megane" - that is actually a Megane cabriolet of approximately 2005 vintage.

Meanwhile, over in Dewsbury, Yorkshire, an 18 year old was arrested for suspected drink/drug driving after crashing into somebody's front porch, collecting the front door on the way and driving off.

Somehow. 

Lord knows how.

The Police Twitter feed has some great comments added including "That's an Audi not a Porsche". 

There's probably some joke here involving Jehovah's Witnesses or Double-Glazing but I'm not sure what it is.

Maybe he was just unhinged?

Goal? No - Gaol!

As a Welsh football supporter and proud Swansea boy, I was disappointed to read this story this week.

Fellow Swansea boy Dean Saunders has been sentenced to prison for refusing to give a breath test when caught in an apparently very drunk state at the wheel of his Audi in Chester.

Actually I'm quite annoyed.  He is described as "The former Derby County, Oxford United and Aston Villa forward" - no mention whatsoever of Swansea City.  Disgraceful bias against the team currently riding high in The Championship.

 

District Judge Nicholas Sanders banned him from driving for 30 months and ordered him to pay court costs of £620.  Which is less than his car-parking fine when he left his car in a short-stay car park while Wales excelled at the 2016 European Championships.

 

And the first 10 weeks of the driving ban will be irrelevant anyway due to him being banged up.

 

As he was jailing him, Sanders told Saunders, "Throughout these proceedings you have shown yourself to be arrogant, thinking you are someone whose previous and current role in the public eye entitles you to be above the law."

 

Quite right, nobody should be above the law.

 

They've let him out after a day.

Nearly an Octogone

But fortunately, the driver swerved out of the way.

Note the spelling.

Now a heptagon:



...is nearly an octagon:

But a flat octopus on the A381 between Malborough and South Milton in Devon would represent an octo-gone.

 

Just surprised it wasn't Norfolk.

Fine Times

Two BBC News stories today concern motoring convictions.

The first concerns David Pickup, a Cheshire motorist caught doing 101mph in a 70-Zone.  I couldn't find a picture of him so here's a David:

 Here's a Pick-Up:

 And here's a David Pickup:

...but not the one from the story - this one's the wrong age and lives in the wrong place.  And, as far as I know, the bloke in Court wasn't dressed as a woman.

Anyway, what's so worthy of a speeding conviction that it gets a mention in my 'blog?

Well, and this will concern David Pickup, he has ended up with £11000 to pay.  The defence questioned the accuracy of the in-car police speed camera so the prosecution hired an expert who rented an airfield and an Audi R8 like the one Pickup was driving at the time.  The expert carried out tests, the results of which were presented to the court - leading to the guilty verdict.  And David got the bill for all that.

I wonder how much the defence team charged him for their work.

Meanwhile, in London, the second story played out.  It involved ex-footballer Clarke Carlisle - someone who has always impressed me with his demeanour and his intelligence.  He was also chairman of the Professional Footballers' Association.  Unfortunately, he has had to own up to drink-driving.

Here he is competing on Countdown:

I can see a five there - FINED - except he wasn't.  I can also see DEMONIC for seven but that's not relevant to the story.

Here's a picture of him I include purely because Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley are also in it.

But back to the story.  Despite his successes on and off the pitch he must have had some serious personal issues - in fact a couple of days after being caught, he was injured when he tried to commit suicide under the wheels of a lorry.  This is no excuse for drink-driving - especially as it isn't his first offence - the BBC report he had previous drink-related convictions in 1999 and 2011.  The 2011 one was a spectacular drink-driving offence with him getting pulled over because he himself had earlier reported the car stolen when he couldn't remember where he'd parked it.  That story, as reported by The Mail, is here.

As I mentioned, he wasn't fined, but he had to pay costs (albeit not £11000 of them) and he now has a three-year driving ban.  For an intelligent man, he has been very stupid.

I hope he manages to get sorted out. It sounds like he needs to completely give up drinking or completely give up driving.  Not a choice I'd like to have to make.  I wish him well.

Driving Offence

Or driving through a fence.

 

Oops.

Bad enough this suspected drink-driver has crashed.

But what he crashed into was a Police Station.

Cheshire Police tweeted this morning, "Man arrested for drink-drive after losing control on a car park and crashing into Frodsham police station. #epicfail." Then "Male in Frodsham kindly handed himself in for drink driving #drivenintostationwall"

A few news sites including the BBC enjoyed telling the story.

They all call it a car though - it is actually a Fiesta van with an unusual paint job.  So I guess a few people in the Frodsham area will know exactly who the 49-year-old man is who has been arrested.

Hope he's more careful when he returns to show his documents.

Driven to Drink

Is it really 10 years since Alastair Stewart was sacked as presenter of Police Camera Action after being caught drink-driving?

Yes.

Nobody should drink-drive - but most people convicted will quietly go to Court, get fined and banned and quietly go away without anyone really noticing.

Some people though, like Alistair, may just attract a bit of attention.

The woman in this story for example.  She is a lawyer, who, according to her own firm's Website, "has a vast knowledge in relation to the offence of Drink Driving. She has won many cases using the many procedural defences available that can arise if the police fail to deal with clients at the roadside and/or in the police station correctly."  I've cut-and-pasted that directly from the site because I wouldn't be surprised if they change that bit soon.

Maybe she should have defended herself.

Or paid for this bloke.  Yes, I know that's a Wikipedia link but, today at least, everything seems to check out in it.  Nick Freeman - aka Mr.Loophole ("Mr Whiplash" would be funnier) is fairly famous for getting celebrities (including Jeremy Clarkson & Tiff Needell) cleared of motoring offences - often on technicalities.  I'm put off lawyers at the best of times - possibly because of the annoying multitude of injury lawyer adverts encouraging people to sue for the stupidest of things - there's one where a workman says "my company gave me the wrong sort of ladder" - well you should know the difference you moron.  I also object to my motor insurance premium increasing to pay for fictitious whiplash claims - I could have made one myself last year when I was rear-ended but I won't because I'm basically honest.

So, what's the moral of all this?

Don't drink and drive.

Unless you're somewhere safe and outside the jurisdiction of the law.

Cheers!

Irishman Drives to a Bar...

Thanks to The BBC for this story which pointed me to this story from The Irish Journal which tells us that "Kerry County Councillors have voted in favour of a motion which would allow people in rural Ireland to have ‘two or three’ drinks and still drive."

Actually only five voted in favour - three voted against, seven abstained and twelve were absent so it was passed with about 18% support.

I guess this guy will be happy:

Lots of other people don't seem so sure though.

The main advocate for this move, Councillor Danny Healy-Rae, who proposed the motion, said it would apply to "older people" who "are being isolated now at home, and a lot of them falling into depression." Hmmmm. Drinkaware.co.uk tell us that "Alcohol alters the brain’s chemistry and increases the risk of depression." So surely the advice to these older people should be go out and have some non-alcoholic drinks.

Now to be fair to Danny-Boy and his four chums who voted with him, he's not saying they should go out and get absolutely ratted and then drive home, he is advocating a higher drink-drive limit for them.

It's still a major step backwards though and the more you think about it, the more non-sensical it seems. For example, would the Garda have to stop everyone they see driving away from the pub and take them in for blood tests after they fail a breathalyzer test to determine what limit they are at?

So why pass this anyway? Looks like the majority of the five are publicans. Here's the pub Danny runs:

Still, what could possibly go wrong?

Classic Car Rescue

Since Channel 5 lost Fifth Gear to Discovery UK, they have obviously needed something else to fill that gap and they have come up with Classic Car Rescue.

It's on a Monday evening at 8pm (9pm Channel 5+1 Time) We are now half-way through the series.

In this Blog, I will review the show in the style of…the show. You will read me giving my opinions of the bust-ups and the work that goes on in restoring some classic motors from the past, turning them from barely scrap value to (literally) prize condition. I will comment about how Cockney mechanic Bernie Fineman has teamed up with Canadian Car Salesman Mario Pacione (no, I hadn’t a clue about him either) to buy and restore classic cars such as the E-Type Jag and an MGB GT. I’ll also tell you about their very contrived arguments and apparently catastrophic set-backs.

I was fully aware of Bernie Fineman from his previous work on Bangla Bangers and Chop Shop, London Garage – a couple of Channel 4 series where he was teamed up with a Bangladeshi designer so that they could have very fake arguments and produce some impressive-looking motors. I had never heard of Mario Pacione and wouldn’t be surprised if Bernie hadn’t either before he was teamed up with him to make this series.

This series is definitely more of the same except the arguments seem even more fake.

Each episode starts with them deciding what make of classic car to restore – so far we’ve had an E-Type, a Porsche 911 and an MGB and next week, it’s a Mustang. Once the car has been decided upon, Bernie will go out and about and try to find one. First, he will succeed in finding one that is a complete mess that the seller wants far too much money for. Bernie will then succeed in finding another one that is also a mess. He will then buy that one at a price that either he or Mario is not happy with. We will then be told how much it will cost to restore the car and that, to keep down costs, Bernie’s team of mechanics will be given a very, very short time period in which to do it.

Both partners will go out and source some spare or replacement parts from some local Cockney and/or Asian characters. Would it be wrong to call this ethnic group Cockasians?

Then it’s time for a near disaster followed by one of the partners (usually Mario) doing something really stupid and the other partner shouting at him, then storming off.

Next we get the good bit of the show – a look at the actual restoration work interspersed with a few interesting facts and figures about the history and manufacture of the featured car.

Now it’s time for a break – this Blog is sponsored by Adrian Flux Insurance – at least I wish it was – I could do with the cash. After the break, I’ll tell you about the door-slamming and how a posh bloke will value the car at more than was spent on it. There’s also a chance to win a copy of the finished Blog.Adrian Flux – for all your insurance needs – I’d like them to sponsor my Blog now please.

In the first part of this Blog, we learned that Cockney mechanic Bernie Fineman has teamed up with Canadian Car Salesman Mario Pacione to buy and restore classic cars. We know Bernie buys a classic car in need of much work and gives his team a very short timescale to complete it. Some parts will have been purchased and Bernie will then have had a contrived argument with Mario and one of them will have stormed off, slamming a door very loudly behind him.

We then see the conclusion of the restoration including the paint-job and the electrics. This is very reminiscent of American Hot-Rod and the whole series does have a strong American Hot-Rod vibe. Which is good. Mostly.

Each episode ends with a professional car valuer turning up in his BMW 850 and telling them what he believes the restored car to be worth. It’s been a respectable profit each time so far. The production company then presumably buy the car and give it away to the winner of an expensive-to-enter competition.

So, it’s a case of enjoyable car bits, and very irritating fake bits – like American Hot-Rod. Now, if you would like to win* a copy of this Blog, just answer this easy question and transfer £1.50 into my bank account:

What is Bernie Fineman’s surname?
A: FINEMAN
B: JONES
C: £1.50

*Terms and conditions apply – the main one being that this isn’t a real competition.

Drink-Driving Caused This...

If the 23 year-old owner of this Mitsubishi Evo (for that is what this yellow car iswas) had known what was going to happen - I'm sure he'd have stuck to the lemonade (assuming he actually is guilty - he's only "suspected" at the moment)

The only problem is - it wasn't him who did this - it was the police officers who arrested him. In such cases, they are supposed to organise a recovery vehicle to come and remove the vehicle of an alleged offender. In this case, they decided to take it for a spin themselves - literally. Oops.

The full story is on BBC News here. Greater Manchester Police have said they will pay for the damage caused to the properties but what about the car? It wouldn't be insured because it was being driven unlawfully and without permission. Will anyone be able to sue anyone? Will that bloke who played a dodgy copper in The Bill and now claims to be an injury lawyer get involved?

Swan Blames Cat for Drink-Driving

I deliberately spelt "Swann" wrong there to make the title better. The BBC News story is actually about England Cricketer Graeme Swann who claims to have been on the way to Asda to buy some screwdrivers to free his cat which had become trapped under the floorboards of his home. Seems a bit far-fetched to me - last time I took up floorboards they weren't screwed down so I needed a crowbar and one of those bolster chisel thingies and a hammer. And who doesn't already have screwdrivers anyway?

He was a bit unlucky in that he was only just over the limit - 83mg where 80mg is the legal limit but over the limit is over the limit. I guess he can afford fancy lawyers to try and get him off on a technicality - or am I just being cynical?

Anyway, I'll follow this with a tiny bit of interest - and next week, it's George Michael's turn.