School's. Out. For. Ever

I've noticed a new 20mph zone has just appeared in the village in which I live.

I have no problem with 20mph zones around schools.

This one sort of coincides with where my car sat-nav thinks there is a school.

Here is a photograph of the school.

Apologies for the old photo - the school was demolished in 1975.

Anyway, here's one of the new signs that has just gone up:

If you look closely at it, you will see in the distance the next sign you reach when heading through the village.  Here is a close-up:

If you walk right up to it, you see the extremely faint outline of two children - it was once a school warning sign.  The next photo is what you come across once you pass the mostly-blank patrol sign:

That picture shows the end of a wall.  That wall is all that is left of the school.  It also shows the window of a DIY store built on the site of the school.  And a For Sale notice that isn't relevant to this post.

The final picture was taken after passing the DIY store and continuing through the village towards where the school was relocated to.  Just before you get to it, they've put up this sign.

Priceless

Back in 2010, in my third month of this Blog and I was a bit more serious because I didn't know then what I wanted it to be.

Here's the story I did then on fuel prices.  I was paying 107.9p a litre back then.

This week I paid 138.9p a litre.

But when this photo was taken, people using Lancaster Services were paying 151.9p a litre.

Which, while feeing quite steep generally, isn't too bad for motorway services although...

a) I don't know when that photo was taken and...

b) the fact that sign exists implies that they are trying to sell fuel cheaper

If you are wondering what I mean by point b there, take a read of this from Auto Express this week.

Moto Hospitality, the main operator of UK motorway services, claim they want to reduce their fuel prices but can't because National Highways won't let them put up signs like that one at Lancaster.

Say what now!?

Their argument is, "At a couple of our sites where we lowered the fuel price but we didn't have a sign, there was some increase in volume, but it wasn't enough to justify lowering the fuel price.”

That is because motorway services have a bad reputation when it comes to expensive fuel!

If they sold reasonably priced fuel and everyone knew that they sold reasonably priced fuel, then people would go and buy reasonably priced fuel in big enough numbers to justify selling reasonably priced fuel!

It's not difficult.

And it's not like there isn't an easy way of telling the price of fuel at your nearest motorway service station:

Petrolprices.com - I mentioned them back in that 2010 story and this week they pointed me at the 138.9 unleaded I bought.  Pity The Government aren't aware of petrolprices - they are talking about a similar guide except the retailers will need to provide the up-to-date prices.

So, what has actually changed in the last 13 and a half years?

Petrol is even more expensive.

And what has stayed the same?

I'm still using petrolprices.com and there are no jokes in my fuel prices stories.

Constitutional Observations

I like to partake of a daily constitutional.

This morning I observed a Santa being transported in a trailer at an uncomfortable speed yelling "Ho Ho Ho" then "Merry Christmas" repeatedly through some sort of amplification system.  He terrified a small dog much to the displeasure of its owner.

The Santa's voice started to waver when they became stuck behind some vehicles wanting to turn right so he was ground to a halt for a quite a while.

The towing vehicle was a large Toyota - probably a Land-Cruiser - this is meant to be a motoring blog.  It would have been more appropriate though to use a Hyundai Santa Fe.

The next thing I observed was this road sign that I've never seen before:

Obviously I don't mean the 20 one.

Or the Pink Route.  Other colours of route are available - I don't think this one takes you to the Gay District.

Here is the one I'm on about in a bit more detail:

Although the only version I could find on the Internet is reversed compared with the one I photographed.

Was it a warning about driving lengthways along steps?

I hadn't twigged at that point that it was a circle not a triangle so not a warning about anything.

It was further along a side road that I found one with a plate below it that read "No motor vehicle parking on verge or footway"

The reversed ones would be on the other side of the road.

There are no yellow lines around there so I guess the council would rather you block the road than damage the grass verges.  I don't know if that is sensible or verging on the ridiculous.

8 Things you might have needed to know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you hadn't already watched it

This Drivetribe article is pointless.  It's called "8 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT" but it is written by somebody who has just watched it.

Anyone who may be interested in this article would be watching the show rather than reading the article.

Which is why the article actually told me 8 things I already knew about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT.

Here are a couple of other things that you will already know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you have watched it:

9. There was a clever bit of animation added to a "Falling Rocks" sign on the road around Reunion.

10.  Jeremy used the show to reinforce his anti-Brexit views including using a European flag to start the drag race and describing the third world conditions in a run-down bit of Madagascar as life outside the EU.  I tried to get a photo of the drag race start but if you put "Drag Race" into Google, you get pictures of men dressed up as grotesque caricatures of women.  This was the best Drag Race photo I could find:

11.  They didn't use new cars.  Good job really.

12.  Convertibles are often called "Spiders" (or "Spyders" if you are Alfa Romeo).  James' Caterham covered in mud and excrement really looked like a spider:

I hope you found it useful to read these four more things you might have needed to know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you hadn't already watched it.

Or, if you don't have access to Amazon Prime, Oops, sorry!

The Sky's The Limit

The Gammons that infest the BBC News Have-Your-Say section are not happy.

They are using phrases like "Nanny State".

They are blaming the EU.

This is why.

Here it is in diagram form:

All new cars sold in Europe in 3 years time will have speed limiting devices fitted by law.

 

However, I don't think they should be called "limiters" - because you can still go faster - I don't think Gammons are good at reading articles.  Which is why I expect no abuse from this one (plus nobody usually reads my stuff anyway)

The Department of Transport here has stated that we will also have this rule irrespective of Brexit - not that the EU have ever forced a law on the UK (but Gammons loudly ignore that fact)

My main concern with this technology is the bit in the article where they say:

Under the new rules, cars will also be fitted with compulsory data recorders, or "black boxes"

Now we are getting into dodgy territory.

Pre-2022 cars will be more attractive for this reason.

And what do you do when your speed limit signs get dirty?

Not a problem in Notts. or Norfolk.

A Sign That Someone is Cleaning Up

A jolly decent chap that Liam Wildish.  A window cleaner who also does roadsigns free of charge.

Now the cynic will say, "What's in it for him?"

Well, perhaps he's just a nice person - like blood donors or anybody who likes cats.

Although he has just effectively had a very good advert for his business on the BBC News website.  I would certainly consider employing him if I needed some windows cleaning in his bit of Nottinghamshire.

Thing is - he isn't the first.

He might be the second - it depends on whether or not Jacob Conneely was the first.

This is him:

And here's his very-similar-to-Liam's story in the Eastern Daily Press.

 

He's making Norfolk a safer place to drive - which should mean less stories for my Blog - especially when compounded by a certain Duke has handing back his licence.

 

I can live with that.

I Don't Watch "I'm A Celebrity"

Well, I did briefly when Johnny Rotten was in there.

But that's just the sort of anarchic rebel I am.

 

Anyway, this year they've got Harry Redknapp, the scary woman from The Chase and Noel Edmonds.

 

Or, as I prefer to call him, former Top Gear presenter Noel Edmonds.

 

Unusually, the BBC are covering an IACGMOOH story today.  Here it is.

 

It is how Noel may have got himself in trouble with Bristol City Council for a second time for driving in their bus lanes.

 

Here is an actual Bristol Bus Lane sign:

It's on Highwood Road in Patchway, quite close to the Coniston Road junction.  It was a Sunday.

 

Now that sign clearly has a picture of what is allowed to be in that lane - a bike, a bus and the word "taxi" because whoever designs these signs couldn't differentiate between a taxi and an ordinary car so gave up.  It's one of those things like motorway matrix signs not being able to animate fog so they just have the word "Fog"

But I digress.  Back to Noel.

 

In order to speed up his journeys around Bristol, Noel bought a taxi, a proper black cab, and used the bus lanes.  The council decided that because he wasn't a licensed taxi, he should be fined so they sent him a ticket.

 

Noel said, "Fair enough", paid the fine and bought a bus.

 

But Bristol Council has now said their bus lanes are only for licensed buses - which is the argument they used for the taxi and I don't think is very fair - the word "licensed" does not appear anywhere on the sign.

 

To get around it, though, all Noel needs to do is find an old licensed bus maybe from another part of the country, and lease it for his personal use.

 

And in case Bristol City Council say it has to be a Bristol bus, he should make sure it is one of these: 

It was built by The Bristol Bus Company.

Balls to Bad Road Signs

This sign infuriated me recently.

Or did it?

 

No, I don't suppose it did really.   But the road layout it "helps" you with did.  It's like a big square roundabout on the edge of Swansea near the waterfront development.

 

If you don't go there often and you don't have a sat-nav it is a bugger to negotiate it.

 

But it would have infuriated this man for a different reason:

His name is Matt Parker and he dislikes the representation of a football so much that he started a petition (signed by 20000 people) to get it changed. The BBC have the story here. He is a maths geek and knows that a football made up of all hexagons, like the one on the sign, could not exist.  You need some pentagons.

 

Now I am a football fan and a maths geek. I could argue that this representation is OK because the roadsign is flat but that would be missing the point.

 

The Department of Transport say:

 

"The purpose of a traffic sign is not to raise public appreciation and awareness of geometry which is better dealt with in other ways.

If the signs were corrected, it would only be visible close up and not from the distance at which drivers will see the sign.

The higher level of attention needed to understand the geometry could distract a driver's view away from the road for longer than necessary which could therefore increase the risk of an incident."

But what about the distraction for drivers trying to mentally recreate a sphere from hexagons and realising that there is a fundamental error on the sign?

Meanwhile, for any Americans reading this - I would like to point out that the item in the picture that you think is a football is actually a rugby ball.  The football is the round item.

Here is a rugby picture for no other reason than I think it looks nice:

Sign of The Times

Correction, make that The BBC, not The Times.

I read this non-story today about people complaining about some new LED advertising signs put up near the Liverpool end of the M62 motorway:

 

I say "people".  It is actually the ABD, the Alliance of British Drivers, an organisation I was unimpressed by three years ago. They are probably upset because one of them missed the speed camera on the motorway in that area because they were busy reading whatever it was displaying an advert for.

The Liverpool Echo covered the plans for the signs back in June although the location was a bit different and the main objection then was "due their size, elevated location and that they will be illuminated, which we consider would have a significant detrimental impact on the local community – both to local residents and local amenities.”:

 

The picture looked good though.

I'm not seeing any real dangers myself - they are not moving pictures (like I saw in November '14 when both the adverts AND the pictures were moving) and it is claimed that lighting levels are controlled.

At least no real dangers unless Wonderbra revisit a certain advertising campaign from 1994.  Hello Boys.

Sign Here...



I'm not really a fan of the UK MSN Cars page.

 

There will be some interesting articles in there but any with a series of photos, like the one I'm about to mention, always tend to crash out after you've seen three or four.  Then you have to start reloading the page or trying to be clever by editting the URL to up the frame number by one.

 

This is probably my own fault for still having a laptop with Windows Vista and therefore IE9.  I don't like Chrome, do have Firefox but prefer IE so there.

 

Given that the article I'm about to mention has 77 photos, I thought I was very persistant in getting to 41 before giving up.

 

And given that the article I'm about to mention was completely mis-titled - definitely deserve praise for getting to picture 41.

 

Here is the article I'm about to mention.  It is entitled "Funny road signs from around the world" but doesn't feature funny road signs from around the world.

 

Well, there is one:

but the rest mostly feature animal warning signs that aren't funny but are slightly unusual if you don't live where they are out in the wild.  I suppose this one of a stag tickling a man is OK: 

but there's nothing funny about a roadsign warning of possums.

 

Another about 10 of the "funny signs" are not really signs at all - or funny - they are suggestions for signs by London taxi drivers.

 

The first sign in the article I have just mentioned is also not funny.

It is quite interesting though. It is meant to be very simplified sign telling Americans when they can park in a certain area:

It doesn't look particularly simple but when compared with what the authorities had, it is amazingly straightforward:

The improved version is the work of New York designer Nikki Sylianteng and her Website "To Park or Not to Park" - it's worth a click.

 

Meanwhile, over in Ireland: 

Olympic Mindgames

Found this picture and the associated story in Friday's Mail Online.

The sign is quite funny but actually refers to a road called "Ha-Ha Road" - it isn't taking the mickey out of Londoners inconvenienced at preparations for the London Olympic Games.

It should, however, always be read in the voice of Nelson Muntz from The Simpsons.

The story then goes on to describe how the council are ripping up speed bumps to make a smoother ride for the Olympic dignitaries - this does appear well out of order given that councils always claim that speed bumps are there for residents' safety. Being a Mail story, I have to be a bit sceptical when they say it will cost at least £50000 - at the expense of the local tax-payer - but, even so, whatever it costs, and whoever is paying - it is very wrong. The Mail also seems obsessed with the fact that BMW are providing the vehicles for The Olympics - they mention it for no apparent reason and include a picture of one driving over a patch of fresh tarmac where a speed bump used to be.

Never mind, I'm sure the Mayor is on the case...No, not Quimby, the other guy.

Is This the Saddest Page on the Internet?

No, not the one you're reading right now. I'm talking about the one I stumbled upon while trying to establish whether or not there was a W.H.Smith at Chester Services on the M56.

It was this one.

It was probably a waste of time me looking it up anyway - there seems to be a W.H.Smith at every Motorway Services in the UK.

Before I found that one, I did think for a while that this could be the saddest site on the Global Interweb.

But then I spent a good three-quarters of an hour looking up my local and oft-used roads. Someone needs to update their A483 bit.

The site does go rather sad when you venture into the forums but steer clear of them and it is all quite interesting and even entertaining.

They also link in to another site with the story of my local motorway. I'll forgive them for labelling it "pathetic".

I also like their amusing roadsigns section...

Never Mind The Bollards

- it's the roadsigns and mobile phone masts that annoy me.

It is in my village anyway. Bollards don't seem to cause me any inconvenience, they intrude onto pavements ("sidewalks" if you're American) a lot less than parked cars which I found a nuisance in narrow areas back in my pram-pushing days.

The Government have been banging on today about how Councils should look at reducing the number of bollards, signs, bins, benches and other obstacles making our pavements and roads cluttered up.

This monumental monstrosity on the right is by far and away the worst. It appeared after an amazing piece of incompetence by our local Council.

They are also responsible for a plethora of bins and benches but I don't see why anyone would complain about them - I'm completely in favour of less litter and of more places for old people to have a rest.


These combined rubbish ("trash" if you're American) and recycling bins (below) have recently started to appear and I'm all for these too. As a committed petrol ("gas" if you're American) burner, I can feel a bit better about myself when I put my Iceland receipt into one of these.

If the mobile ("cell-phone" if you're American) mast wasn't such a crime, I'd be really annoyed at these signs that appeared all over the Wirral last year...

I dread to think what all that aluminium is worth ("aluminum" if you're American) but in a time of savings and cuts, it can't have been justified. This particular one is particularly an eyesore because it has been placed right outside The Coach and Horses - a fine-looking Mock-Tudor-style public house that always appears on postcards of the village.

So, I am in favour of selective clutter removal, but surely, at cost-cutting time, there must be much bigger priorities. Unless you are going to employ more people specifically to do this - a good left-wing idea but not something I'd have thought this Coalition would be advocating.