Alternators

I am a very successful motoring journalist who has just sold my internationally acclaimed TV Show about motoring (with an amusing bent) to Netflix.

Or I might be - in an alternative Universe where horrible things like Brexit and Jeggings and Vauxhall Agilas never happened.

If only.

Autocar today are looking at some if-only situations that could have changed motoring history - albeit not as much as me having my own TV show.  The article is here.

They look at how The Second World War could have been avoided by the bloke who drove into Hitler going a bit faster.

They sort of blame the recently deceased Frank Williams for annoying Adrian Newey enough such that he left Williams.  This led to McLaren and then Red Bull taking over the dominance or Formula 1.

They ask what would have happened if BMW hadn't bought Rover from under Honda's nose in 1994.  This is a trickier one with pros and cons on both sides but I can't help but think that the Rover and MG marques wouldn't have disappeared when the four directors took over and made a complete hash of it all.  The Triumph name might still be on some cars too.

Then it's back to F1 and the question of what would have happened if Gilles Villeneuve hadn't been killed in a crash during qualifying for the Belgian Grand Prix in 1982.  Maybe his nephew wouldn't have had a career?

Next in line, what if Saab had an equivalent version of the other GM branded plug-in hybrids The Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera?  Given the relative lack of success of the Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera (which is a shame - they were ahead of their time) then I doubt if it would have made much difference.

Finally, they return to Rover with the question, "What if... BMW had made the Pininfarina 1100?" Pretty sure that is a typo - it should read "What if... BMC had made the Pininfarina 1100?" But never mind, it is an interesting question and they even get a mention of the recently deceased Prince Philip in there.  It suggests a world without The Austin Allegro.  Very interesting.

However, what if the Autocar Team had thought a little longer...

A good question would be: What if Major Ivan Hirst had convinced a British car company to take on building the cars he found in a certain car factory in Wolfburg?

Or how about?: What if this year's Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Race Director Michael Masi had thought a little longer?

Four Play

Autocar are playing with what the new Renault 4 will look like.

I have to say I was quite excited when i saw what the new Renault 5 is looking like - so were Top Gear Magazine - you'll have to buy the February edition to read the article:

Anyway, Renault are planning a retro-style electric vehicle called The Renault 5 which is an obvious nod to the old Renault 5.

They are starting with:

and coming up with:

Which, let's face it, is pretty cool.

There was also speculation that the same thing was going to happen with the Renault 4.

Now, that is a much uglier starting point:

A horrible, utilitarian 2CV rival.

Autocar got confirmation that it is going to happen and decided to produce their own rendering:

I'm afraid I just don't see it.  I could see that as the modern take on a Clio Williams but not a 4.

And let's be honest, we all know that the new 4 will be another bloody SUV.

Which is a shame, because if we are having a 21st Century Renault 4 then it has to be ugly and not an SUV - somebody I've never heard of called David Obendorfer did a perfectly good job of exactly that ten years ago - check out the pictures in this Carscoops story.

Much truer to the original - and hopefully available in brown.

Lotus Appoint Caroline Aherne

Actually, her name is Carmen Jorda which sounds too much like Jordan to me - which implies bimbo when applied to an attractive woman.

I haven't a clue whether Ms Jorda is a bimbo or not - I would suspect not - but she is incredibly lucky.

She has been appointed as a Lotus F1 team development driver. CarAdvice have an article on it here.

Her racing history is spectacularly unremarkable.  She has clearly been given the job because she is an attractive woman who can drive a bit.  However, don't expect to see her in a race.  Like Susie Wolff at Williams, she is there to gain headlines, not drive cars.

And it seems to be working.

It just seems a bit unfair on more talented drivers who are missing out on a chance to show what they can do because they happen to have a Y Chromosome.  Or because they don't have lots of money.

It is also very unfair on women racing drivers everywhere (and I'd like to see more of the good ones at all levels of motorsport) who will probably be told that they are only getting chances because they are female.

Maybe this is a sign of desperation in Formula 1 - viewing figures continue to fall - shall I mention the shameful BBC/Sky deal again?  No.  But you don't see my beloved, successful, free-to-view-on-ITV4 BTCC resorting to female drivers.

But we should.

There are plenty of talented women competing in the BTCC support races.

Come on Team bosses - you know you want to.  Give a girl a chance - and give her a grid-guy to stand in front of car - you may get more lady viewers and that can't be a bad thing.


Sorry about that - I don't normally say anything sensible - I promise everything will be back to normal for my next post.