Dead Dogging

An interesting story came to me from America via Australia today.

San Francisco and drive.com.au to be precise.

Now San Francisco is famous for The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz and homosexuality - I have experienced at least two of these.

And it is also famous for Autonomous Robo-Taxis.  One of which ran over a dog.

Apparently, people get up to naughty things in these taxis.  There are rules that you can't smoke or drink alcohol in them but there isn't anything specific about sex acts.

Since one of the main robo-taxi companies is called "Cruise" I think they should have been specific.

Especially as they have cameras inside to make sure people aren't smoking or drinking alcohol.

Now, in Cornwall, rather than using AI to drive the cars, they are using it to spy on persons within the cars.

The BBC News story is here.  It'll be a good thing if it gets some dangerous driving habits discouraged.

So, at some point in the probably not too distant future, you could have AI watching people dogging while being driven about by AI and maybe running over an escaped canine - and no other humans would be any the wiser.

Would that negate the enjoyment for those doing the dogging?

Or just negate the dog?

George Michael Impersonator

Two different BBC car stories caught my eye today.

Ford have launched a car that can be driven hands-free on British motorways.

WHY!?

OK, so I suppose you  have to start somewhere - but not with this.

Apparently, you have to keep your eyes on the road ahead and "the driver is not permitted to use their mobile, fall asleep or conduct any activity that takes attention away from the road."

So what is the point?

Plus, this is a Ford Mustang Mach e that has a maximum speed of 80mph.

DON'T CALL SOMETHING THAT CAN ONLY DO 80MPH A MUSTANG!

I hate the way Ford are reusing classic car names on horrible SUVs - I'm looking at you, Ford Puma.

I don't normally like the comments under BBC stories - the ones I usually read tend to be full of angry Gammons still trying to defend Brexit.  But this one is lots of angry Gammons and angry non-gammons coming up with more and more reasons why this won't work in Britain.  Smart Motorways being a good one - this car is supposed to safely grind to a halt if the driver loses interest in the road ahead - you will have cars stopping all over the place on warm, Summer afternoons.

And will Police have to check whether or not it is the right age of Mustang when they see a driver doing jazz-hands while travelling at 70mph down the M6? And that his hands-free subscription is up to date?

Yes, you need to subscribe to this hands-free driving lark as well!

So why have I called this post, "George Michael Impersonator?"

Ah, well that's because of my second BBC story which combines my love of cars with my love of Swansea City Football Club.  Danny Graham made 54 appearances for us. This includes when we were in the Premier League, so I don't know why we are only a sub-note in the story of him crashing an expensive Jaguar-Land-Rover vehicle into a Co-op in County Durham:

Whilst over the limit.

I wonder if his hands were on the wheel at the time?

Coming and Going

Am I into pornography?

All I'll say is that I don't own a pornograph.

But, like Elon Musk, I am aware that there is a very popular piece of pornography that has allegedly been produced in a Tesla Model X being driven on Autopilot.  I know Elon knows about it because Car+Driver have the story of his tweets on the subject.

Is the unnamed star of the film to be referred to as "Model X"?

And who has got their hands on the wheel?

The Future Just Ain't What It Used To Be.

In 2036 I have to re-apply for my driving licence because I will be old.

Should I bother?

According to The BBC, this DS Concept Car showcases what will be the typical cars of 2035.

I was sort of on board if not a bit perplexed by the reporter's idea of "sitting back, cocooned in luxury."

But then I heard it.

They need to sort out the annoying whine or everyone travelling by car in the future will have terrible headaches.

Mind you 2019 seems to have a few problems too.  Whether it is uninsured drivers demonstrating their stupidity.  Or perhaps team-building courses that involve scrapyards.  I'm sure I could come up with some positive ideas for team-building in scrapyards - although Health & Safety might get upset at the first-to-extract-an-undamaged-speedometer-from-a-Ford-Sierra round.

2019 also has Brexit and Trump.

Let's hope 2019 also sees the end of Brexit and Trump.

Then we just need to sort out the car noises and we will be fine.

It May Be an Automatic - But You've Still Got to Be There

The boss of Tesla's Autopilot programme has just quit.  Probably not connected but it is on the back of a couple of accidents including, tragically, a fatal one.

 

So, not a good idea to put too much faith in the system right now.

 

Like this bloke from Nottingham did:

The BBC report on how Bhavesh Patel moved into the passenger seat after putting his car into autopilot while at 40mph on a motorway.

 

The twerp.

 

Patel said he was the "unlucky one who got caught", the court was told.

 

That implies others do it regularly without getting caught.

 

I doubt that, but if it is true, then hopefully his 18 months driving disqualification, 100 hours of unpaid work and Crown Prosecution Service costs of £1,800 will put them off.

 

Especially as it is so easy to spot a Tesla driving under autopilot by the blue lines and circles emanating from the car: 

Mercedes Bends (the rules)

A couple of Mercedes self-driving stories caught my eye today.

Looks like they've been a bit naughty in their advertising Stateside.  Autoguide have the story here.  Mercedes have been forced to pull a TV ad for the E-Class in  which a narrator says,

“Is the world truly ready for a vehicle that can drive itself? Ready or not, the future is here.”

The ad also shows the driver removing his hands from the steering wheel, leading to the argument that people will believe the car is full self-driving.

Meanwhile the small-print caption on the ad states,

“Vehicle cannot drive itself, but has automated driving features. The system will remind the driver frequently to keep hands on the steering wheel. Always observe safe driving practices and obey all road traffic regulations.”

Hmmm.  I can see why it was dropped.

This doesn't bode well when the you read the second story, found in Car+Driver here.  The headline reads "Mercedes-Benz and Tesla See a Future in Electric Self-Driving Buses"  The story goes on to talk about The Mercedes-Benz Future Bus, a semi-automated city bus with a technology suite that can allow it to journey up to 12.4 miles without a need for the driver to touch the steering, accelerator, or brake pedal. The Future Bus can spot obstacles and pedestrians, follow lane markings, and function as part of a new Bus Rapid Transit system.

It looks nice too...

 

I wonder what the small-print says - this bus won't journey up to 12.4 miles without a need for the driver to touch the steering, accelerator, or brake pedal and it can't spot obstacles and pedestrians, follow lane markings, and function as part of a new Bus Rapid Transit system?

And I bet it can't do what this Chilean bus-driver did:

Robot Cars/Car Wars/Robocar - take your pick.

Most of the motoring media has picked up on this story this week - but my favourite take on it is from Caradvice.com.au - although this picture has a lot to do with that:

C3PO looks terrified!

Forumla e is getting a support race.

And, being formula e, it's no ordinary support race - the cars will still be electric (of course) but they will also be missing drivers.  It is a race for autonomous cars.

The cars will be (hardware speaking) identical - which I think is a bit of a missed opportunity - but they can worry about that in the future.  The only difference will be the AI software - I'm wondering if that will mean that each race will pan out in the same way but I'm intrigued enough to want to know more.

Not worrying about driver-safety (or driver existence) will impact on the car design but hopefully crowd safety will still play a part.  Remote cut-out switches perhaps?

Post-race interviews will be held with software geeks but, speaking as a software geek, I don't mind that.

In fact, I look forward to getting a phone call from Nicole Scherzinger.

A Couple of Daft News Stories

In a difficult week, we need some lighter news.

Last Friday, Car+Driver gave us this story:

It involves a Google Self-Driving car being stopped by a traffic cop in California for driving too slow.  Another reason to dislike these horrible little vehicles.  The Google marketing spin was quite good though:

"We’ve capped the speed of our prototype vehicles at 25mph for safety reasons. We want them to feel friendly and approachable, rather than zooming scarily through neighborhood streets. Like this officer, people sometimes flag us down when they want to know more about our project. After 1.2 million miles of autonomous driving (that’s the human equivalent of 90 years of driving experience), we’re proud to say we’ve never been ticketed!"

Not yet anyway.  They've not yet had their CHiPs.

Talking of Friday 13th and ghosties and googlies, do you know what this is?

Well I'll tell you.

It's a ghost trying to recall.

While today, The Telegraph tell us that Rolls Royce are trying to recall a Ghost.

Just the one.

Literally one car.

Not one model range - one car.

In America.

They have a product recall out on a Rolls-Royce Ghost like this one but with a dodgy airbag labelling issue:

Now, with possibly ineffective airbags, I hope it doesn't go bump in the night.

Patently Daft

This story from engadget.com tells us that Google has applied for a patent on gesture-based car controls.  Their proposed system relies on both a ceiling-mounted depth camera and a laser scanner to trigger actions based on an occupant's hand positions and movements.

 

Examples they cite are: Swipe near the window and you'll roll it down; point to the radio and you'll turn the volume up.

Examples they don't cite are: Wave both arms in the air and you'll crash; give a one-finger salute to a Police vehicle that is following you and you'll get arrested.

Apparently, Google has acquired a motion control company so they will be looking for uses for it.

I'm not convinced this is the best one.

Voice-activated controls are improving so that they are actually usable now, combining them with this may actually make it more dangerous to be in a car - what if a nervous passenger finds a spider in the car?

Besides, Google are also developing their driverless cars so none of this should be needed.

As ever, I do enjoy reading the comments at the bottom of online articles - this one produced some good ones:

Examples I cite are NewGawker, who states "This won't work in Italy" and my personal favourite, fsmarin who, on seeing the picture above asks, "Why is a monkey driving a bus?"

The Mayor of St.Edmundsbury is a Buffoon

Maybe it's a hacked self-driving car.

After my comment at the weekend about self-driving cars ending up in Sainsburys, we now have a car in Tescos.  It was driven there by the local mayor.  Nobody was injured.

I found this story today in The Sudbury Mercury - everyone's favourite Suffolk-newspaper-named-after-an-American-car.

So, does this Mayor's buffoonery match that of the mayors of London and Paris I have previously highlighted?

I don't know.  The story tells of a trip to hospital so it could have been a medical condition caused this.

But I suspect not.

Lots of Mercurys and other American cars end up in buildings due to clumsy or forgetful drivers forgetting how Automatics work:

Pictures like these regularly turn up on news websites.

All nations are affected but most ot these seem to be American due to the high car-ownership over there and the high proportion of those that have Auto-boxes.

I particularly like the third picture.  Claim, anyone?


Now, the mayor from our story, Terry Buckle,  may have just been unlucky.  The story says that "It is believed the car had lurched forward from a parking bay directly in front of the shop, with Mr Buckle at the wheel."

Pesky cars, eh?

Maybe it was a medical condition though - he was stopped in a disabled bay after all.

I put his registration number into mycarcheck.com and, surprise, surprise! - it's an Automatic.

So, it does look like buffoonery - or an excuse to get a mayoral car that's a bit posher than an S-Reg Vectra.



Post Script - Terry is blaming his brakes! Ha!

Getting Hacked Off

Suddenly, the ending of the brilliant video in my post from earlier this month makes more sense.

The car that fascinates the two Spocks is this self-driving Audi TT:

This car raises two important questions: 

• Do self-driving Audis tailgate other self-driving cars?
• Will a 14-year-old from Indonesia one day be able to hack into self-driving cars?

 Actually, that second question raises even more questions.

 

The question itself, was first asked by a US senator as told to us by Autoguide today.

 

It's a bit scary when you think about it - especially if you live in Indonesia where most 14-year-old Indonesians come from.

 

Imagine you're on you way home from work, reading the evening newspaper or playing Tetris or having a quiet doze while your self-driving car is doing the important stuff when you suddenly find yourself driving through your local branch of Sainsburys (or Wal-Mart or Hero).

 

Technology in lots of modern cars will make them vulnerable for hacking whether it is upgrading the e.c.u. for more power or something more sinister altogether.

 

Self-driving cars themselves have progressed in leaps and bounds in the last decade with some help from the DARPA Grand Challenge with cars like this VW Passat...

 ...through to Google's self-driving Toyota Prius...

Such cars are now legal on the roads in several US States.

I'm rather glad they aren't here in the UK yet though.

Not that we aren't working on the same thing - check this out.

But, apart from nervousness about a computer controlling a ton or two of metal on the loose, I actually enjoy driving and don't want to ever lose out on that.

Plus, what about those Indonesian kids?