Alternators

I am a very successful motoring journalist who has just sold my internationally acclaimed TV Show about motoring (with an amusing bent) to Netflix.

Or I might be - in an alternative Universe where horrible things like Brexit and Jeggings and Vauxhall Agilas never happened.

If only.

Autocar today are looking at some if-only situations that could have changed motoring history - albeit not as much as me having my own TV show.  The article is here.

They look at how The Second World War could have been avoided by the bloke who drove into Hitler going a bit faster.

They sort of blame the recently deceased Frank Williams for annoying Adrian Newey enough such that he left Williams.  This led to McLaren and then Red Bull taking over the dominance or Formula 1.

They ask what would have happened if BMW hadn't bought Rover from under Honda's nose in 1994.  This is a trickier one with pros and cons on both sides but I can't help but think that the Rover and MG marques wouldn't have disappeared when the four directors took over and made a complete hash of it all.  The Triumph name might still be on some cars too.

Then it's back to F1 and the question of what would have happened if Gilles Villeneuve hadn't been killed in a crash during qualifying for the Belgian Grand Prix in 1982.  Maybe his nephew wouldn't have had a career?

Next in line, what if Saab had an equivalent version of the other GM branded plug-in hybrids The Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera?  Given the relative lack of success of the Chevrolet Volt and Vauxhall/Opel Ampera (which is a shame - they were ahead of their time) then I doubt if it would have made much difference.

Finally, they return to Rover with the question, "What if... BMW had made the Pininfarina 1100?" Pretty sure that is a typo - it should read "What if... BMC had made the Pininfarina 1100?" But never mind, it is an interesting question and they even get a mention of the recently deceased Prince Philip in there.  It suggests a world without The Austin Allegro.  Very interesting.

However, what if the Autocar Team had thought a little longer...

A good question would be: What if Major Ivan Hirst had convinced a British car company to take on building the cars he found in a certain car factory in Wolfburg?

Or how about?: What if this year's Abu Dhabi Grand Prix Race Director Michael Masi had thought a little longer?

A Sign That Someone is Cleaning Up

A jolly decent chap that Liam Wildish.  A window cleaner who also does roadsigns free of charge.

Now the cynic will say, "What's in it for him?"

Well, perhaps he's just a nice person - like blood donors or anybody who likes cats.

Although he has just effectively had a very good advert for his business on the BBC News website.  I would certainly consider employing him if I needed some windows cleaning in his bit of Nottinghamshire.

Thing is - he isn't the first.

He might be the second - it depends on whether or not Jacob Conneely was the first.

This is him:

And here's his very-similar-to-Liam's story in the Eastern Daily Press.

 

He's making Norfolk a safer place to drive - which should mean less stories for my Blog - especially when compounded by a certain Duke has handing back his licence.

 

I can live with that.

Norfolk AGAIN!

Maybe the Norfolk Police are more media savvy than other police forces.

Or maybe a lot of idiots live in Norfolk.

Here is today's picture:

The story is here and tells of a driver stopped for "erratic driving" who had no tyre on the front wheel.  He's hardly got any wheel left on the front wheel.  Breathalyser readings showed more than three times the drink-drive limit so that could explain a few things.

 

I've decided that it's an old Seat Leon.

 

This is on the back of my most recent Norfolk story - which listed previous ones therein.

 

This particular story keeps going partly due to the media's fascination with Royals and also due to this woman who broke her wrist when The Duke of Edinburgh's Land Rover collided with the car she was in:

She has been cashing in big style since the accident appearing on Good Morning and selling stories to The Mirror.  I've not heard much of the driver or her baby who was also in the car he hit.

 

I suppose she couldn't sell out to The Sun because that it what The Duke is blaming for the crash.

 

Meanwhile her name is Emma FAIRWEATHER.

Belted Earl

Or Unbelted Duke.

There have been a couple of follow-up stories on the BBC website after The Duke of Edinburgh's crash on Thursday.  First there was him getting a replacement car the following day.  He must have very good motor insurance.  And then there was him being told off for driving without a seatbelt after that:

 I wasn't going to mention it but then I saw this on Facebook so needed an excuse to share it:

At Least it's Knocked Brexit Off The Top Headline Spot

But it is another calamity - just not a calamitous.

Prince Philip has rolled a Range Rover.

Only onto its side and 4x4s are known for rolling over but he is 97 years old so you have to give him some credit.

Here's the picture:

And here is the BBC story.

 

Only minor injuries and they weren't sustained by The Duke so the BBC are happy.

 

Their report states that he was pulling out of a driveway onto the A149 when the accident happened.  They also report that two people in the other vehicle - a saloon car - were treated for minor injuries, according to reports from Norfolk Police.

 

Norfolk again - what is it about Norfolk?

• Driving with Pliers
• Delivered by Air
• Train Wreck

That's not a driveway - it's a road junction.  Unless it's a very wide driveway  - the sort owned by Royalty.

 

And I'm not seeing a saloon car in that aftermath photo.  There is a VW Sharan/Ford Galaxy/Seat Alhambra people-carrier there though that looks like it may have been a bit involved.

 

I can't figure out how those vehicles would have ended up in those positions.  Someone was speeding?  Someone was trying to kill a pheasant in the road?  Someone was trying to kill a peasant in the road?

 

Will we ever know?

 

I suppose that depends on who was to blame.