Jacked Up

Sometimes when you're walking along the pavement, you may see a glove or a baby's hat on a fence or wall.

Someone has lost it and some other kind soul has put it somewhere safe and visible for when whoever lost it goes back to retrace their steps.

Today I saw this:

I can only assume that somebody had a puncture, swapped the wheel at the roadside then completely forgot about their jack.

And whoever found it and put it out of the way of being a trip-hazard is a diamond.

A Jack of Diamonds.

A Ginger Car for Ginger People

 All of the main car news sites I visit had this one - but Autocar had it first so I'll link to them.

Not sure why they've named it after popular 1970s beat combo ELO though.

It is electric and quite light but absolutely nothing to do with an orchestra.

They claim that it is named after the second letters of the words rest, play and work.

Which should, of course, be "Work, Rest & Play"

But that would be OEL which is harder to say.  It's also the last three letters of Noel.

Which is more appropriate for December and not the first three letters of Elon.

I think I quite like Citroen's new concept MPV:

It's very Citroen.

The interior is very strange and seems to be a mobile office and bedroom (with no curtains)

Lots of weird innovations that you need to read the article to get the full story.

Lots of Blue Sky thinking that if I tried to explain would just lead to confusion.

Kei Proposals

 The orange man-baby has been waxing lyrical about Kei cars.

He has  called them "cute" and "beautiful."

Car+Driver have the story here.

As usual, he is wrong.

Also as usual with Trump, whoever speaks to him most recently is the one he is in agreement with.

He "touted how smaller cars are more efficient thanks to their smaller engines, and he specifically named brands like Honda and Toyota as potential sources for these machines."

Then he will speak to someone from Ford or the oil industry.

He also spoke about how if these cars were to be made available in The States, that they would need to be built there.

Not convinced - Americans don't have a good history of building small cars.

The Evolution of Buttons

 

But not the sort that keep your cardigan together.

I had a mild panic attack today when a big orange square appeared on my dashboard as I was driving home from work:

It turns out Radio 2 have changed their logo-image thingy on DAB Radio.

I usually listen to Johnny Vaughan on Radio X or Simon Mayo on Greatest Hits when I'm driving home.  But I switch between them when adverts come on and today they had adverts on at the same time so I happened to switch to Radio 2 and up came that big orange square.

Now for some reason, that got me thinking about warning lights and dashboards.

My first car had the Triumph "All Systems Go" warning light cluster - I loved it.

Never managed to light up all 8 segments at the same time though.

The original dashboards had nothing on them - they were the boards at the front of carts that were pulled by horses - they were meant to protect the driver from mud and other unpleasantries thrown up by the horses hooves when travelling off-road.

The name stuck when the first motor cars appeared - logical given that most looked like "horseless carriages."

Eventually, as cars became cars, the dashboards were used to house instruments and controls for new fangled additions such as windscreen wipers - and, as anyone who subscribes to idriveaclassic on YouTube will know, pull switches were very popular for many years right up to the 1960s:

...and beyond for things like the hazard warning lights on my Triumph.

These were eventually replaced by toggle switches:

Then it was the turn of my favourite - the rocker switch!

These prevailed in the 1970s when I was becoming fascinated by cars.  You could could buy them in Halfords and Motorworld to add accessories (usually fog lamps) to your Vauxhall Victor or Ford Escort.

By the '90s - buttons had taken over:

In quite a big way in some cars - My Jaguar X-Type had buttons to operate a phone I didn't have.

I like buttons - not as much as I like rocker switches - but they are tactile and necessary when you need to control lots of things like heated seats and electric windows and climate control.

But, as even more complicated things (like Apps!) are becoming part of motoring, touchscreens are taking over from buttons.  VW famously took them too far and had to reinstate some - it was getting dangerous having to look away from the road to do basic things like put the air on re-circ.

I sometime use the voice commands on my car but I have found myself arguing with it a few times too and voice control is also no use to people with Scottish accents.

My car has a mixture of real buttons and touchscreen which is about as far from the horse and cart dashboard as you can get.

Imagine having to put up with a boring dashboard.

He's done well to get that far.

Couple of BBC News stories got my attention this evening.

The first just begs the question, HOW!?

Look carefully and you may spot something slightly arwy.

Take a look at the footage in this story.

The guy in the car behind was doubly lucky - first he avoided the sign, then another car he shot into the path of avoided him.

Or her.

Anyway, how the hell did this tipper driver get onto the I-70 without noticing that his tipper was up?

Was he wondering why lots of bemused drivers were flashing their lights at him.

Maybe he wondered what the new flashing light on his dashboard meant.

Why do tipper trucks let you go above 15mph with the tipper raised?

There were no injuries reported, why were there no arrests reported?

And where had he been?

Oxfordshire perhaps?

The other article.

Charity Case

 

After the recent Panorama Orange Man-Baby Editing scandal, the BBC could do without another embarrassing story.

So they can justifiably be proud about the 2025 Children in Need campaign raising at least £45.5Million.

I even gave them a fiver.

The chairman of Children in Need must be feeling happy right now.

Pity he's just resigned due to a serious motoring offence.

He badly injured a cyclist that he hadn't seen while turning right in an unnecessarily big BMW.

The particularly stupid thing after watching the video was he was turning right FROM a road not INTO the road.

And she was cycling towards him along the same road.

He wasn't indicating but, as already mentioned, he was driving a BMW.

The other stupid thing about this case is that he has resigned due to his conviction just weeks after taking the job.  The offence happened in June - the trial date must have been known for months.  I guess he thought that if he mentioned it in the interview he mightn't have got the job.

Did he think he wouldn't be found guilty though?

Unlikely given that he admitted it.

A sad state of affairs all around.

Classic!

This weekend just gone I visited the Lancaster Insurance Classic Motor Show at The NEC in Birmingham.

What did I think?

Well, since you ask, I'll tell you.

The free show guide was most excellent - even came in its own carrier bag!

I got close to Mike Brewer and Tiff Needell which was nice.

And to Will & Gus from Flipping Bangers and to a couple of my favourite YouTubers.

And to Frank Stephenson - apparently pronounced Steffanson - not to be confused with Steph Fromidriveaclassic - one of the aforementioned YouTubers.  I didn't realise until he started talking that I actually knew who he was - in as much as he has a regular column in Top Gear Magazine critiquing modern car designs.  He revealed some secrets about his design work on the Mini One - check out how the exhaust pipe is the same as a Budweiser can.

There were loads of Triumph Dolomites there:

BUT THEY WERE ALL SPRINTS!

Some of us owned 1500HL Dolomites.  They did have a few Triumph 1300s and a 1500 too though.

They also had some famous cars like The Sweeney Granada:

The Saint's Volvo:

And Richard Hammond's Oliver:

They had an F40:

And also whatever this is:

The food was crap - and overpriced - but that's the fault of the NEC - should have used the various vans there.

Loved the day - would recommend it to any petrol-head - and even non-petrol-heads - the two I went with enjoyed it too.

It was classic.

Silly Season

Except it isn't silly season.

Never knew it went back to 1861.

Although there do seem to be a disproportionate number of silly stories around today.

This one caught my eye first thing this morning:

What!?  McDonalds are training their staff how to sexually harass?

They had changed the headline by lunchtime.

But that isn't a car story - it was next to one though - this one.

"Tesla boss Elon Musk has had a record-breaking pay package that could be worth nearly $1tn (£760bn) approved by shareholders."

Did you spot the word "could" in there?

It's doing a lot of the heavy lifting.

It's like in the Webuyanycar.com adverts when Jason Manford says what could happen if you don't accept the low offer from Webuyanycar.com.

To get the full whack, the South African Nazi-type saluter will have to "drastically raise the electric car firm's market value over 10 years."

Given the job he's done this year, I can't see him getting close - especially as this is just more incentive not to buy a Tesla.

"The scale of the potential payout has drawn criticism, but the Tesla board argued that Musk might leave the company if it was not approved - and that it could not afford to lose him."

This doesn't bode well for the future of the company if the board really think that.

Sticking with electric cars, we have a story from my favourite American car journalist in Car+Driver.

Ezra Dyer is telling the story a the importer of Kia cars into Finland giving away free air fresheners to purchasers of the EV4 electric car.

The silliness in this story being that the smell of the air freshener is petrol and the look is this:

They found allegedly "Finland's only perfumier" to create it.  But they aren't doing it any more since Car+Driver asked Kia HQ in South Korea about it.

And they weren't too happy.

Final silly story today is from the BBC again.

I live very close to a place called West Kirby.  Kirby is a corruption of Kirkby - Viking for "church town"

And also the name of a town on the outskirts of Liverpool that is somewhat to the East of West Kirby.

Liverpool's local radio station, Radio City got rebranded last year and lost its localness - you can tell because the traffic news bloke can't pronounce any of the placenames in the vicinity.

Now, judging by this story, I wonder if they've got him painting the road markings?

SUVs Rammed Down our Throats

Another horror story for Halloween...

RAM are going to launch an SUV.

Here's the Car+Driver story.

RAM make trucks and big things.  Unusually for a Brit, I have driven one.  It looked like this one:

Only wasn't missing a hubcap.

I suppose if Ferrari can do an SUV and Rolls Royce can do an SUV then everyone will want to cash in.

This will just be a rebadged other Stellantis model.

And it won't be infesting our shores.

I hope.

It'll just be America.

And they've already got their own horror story.

Cyclepathology

A psychopath is a person with a personality disorder characterized by a lack of empathy, remorse, and conscience.

A cycle path is a narrow road for the use of cyclists.

So what is the word for a lack of empathy with cycle paths?

Here you can enjoy my son and myself finding two individuals with this condition.  the first is a cyclist using the pavement rather than the designated cycle lane.  The second?

Well see for yourself - it's a good job the cyclist didn't know how to use a cycle lane.

If you don't like swear words, pause the video just before the end!

Double Vision

All of the Internet car news sites I frequent are covering this weird black concept car called the Mercedes Vision Iconic.

Here is the Auto Express version of the story.

The Concept is described by the chief design officer as combining "the firm’s Art Deco-inspired models of the 1930s" incorporating "elements of the 1954 Mercedes 300 SL". The result, he says, “embodies the pure essence of Mercedes” and is the “ultimate expression of value, prestige, and grace”.

Ew.

And what's with the interior?

What on earth is that cylinder thing where the glovebox ought to be?

Is it for storing Pringles?

Meanwhile, Mazda supposedly have a "wild new concept" which will "preview the brand’s next-gen design language, and possibly a new range-topping model."

It's name?

The Mazda Vision.

That Auto Express story is here.

Look familiar?

Wonder if it will have a Pringles holder?

You can't buy taste.

Only in the land of Donald Trump would you get a Rolls Royce commissioned to honour a dog.

Auto-Express have the story under the brilliant headline,

"Sit, stay, Rolls over: One-off Rolls-Royce Spectre pays tribute to beloved dog."

I can't tell if the dog is deceased or not - don't think it is but it is a "Labrador-Golden Retriever mix" - two breeds that seem to be so similar that I can't see the point of mixing them.

The dog is called Bailey and they've rather sycophantically named the car colour "Beautiful Bailey"

The inside is worse.

What really surprises me though is that there are no comments under the story - at least not right now - early Friday evening.

Would it have made more sense if it was a Rover?

No - it's just stupid.

Now if it had been a cat...

12345726

I was going to call this post "The Number's Up!" but I've already used that.

But I missed out the apostrophe which is unlike me and somewhat irritating.

Anyway, that particular post was about 18 months ago and berating the daft naming convention of Polestar.

It still seems to be a problem for them and they are trying to deny it - as reported by drive.co.au here.

And they have changed the rules a bit too.

18 months ago they said that the Polestar 2 would not be replaced by a Polestar 2.  Now they are saying that the Polestar 2 WILL be replaced by a Polestar 2.  Which will probably come after the Polestar 7 and before the Polestar 6.

Confusion reigns supreme.

I feel sorry for the new CEO, Michael Lohscheller, who didn't come up with the idea but seems to be spending lots of time defending it.

He likens it to Apple.  Which is wrong.  He should be likening it to the company I alluded to back in April last year - Renault.

When I also asked the question, "I wonder how many years it will be before they realise the error of this strategy and change to a better system."

Renault gradually and quietly replaced numbers with names and would never speak of them again.

Until they had a big hit with the new 4 and 5.

If they follow the Polestar numbering system, the next retro electric car will be a cute version of the Renault 7:

Oh dear - I think the number's up.

Warburtons Coining it in.

 

Saw this BBC story this morning about a proposed bridge toll increase.

It is the Warburton bridge which crosses the Manchester ship canal. The story has been updated since I read it this morning - at that point they were only telling us the old price - not the new one.

Had me wondering what the horrific increase was going to be.

Turns out it was an increase of 733.33%!

So the plan was to increase it from 12p to £1.

Locals will get a 50% discount.  I presume they don't currently pay 6p to cross.

I'm guessing it is a well used bridge - it will have to be to recoup the cost of changing the signage and installing payment cameras and software.

Anyway, lot's of people have got very upset.  Although the ones doing the commenting are more concerned with the old price than the new one.

For whom the bridge tolls.

Car Horne

I am a fan of The Horne Section.  I have seen then twice and Alex spoke to me once when I was on the second row.

I had this advert by them recommended to me:

Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with cars - although there is a van in there.

So here's an advert I'm recommending to you:

Unregistered

After yesterdays rather depressing post, this is another one.

Today is September 7th - the UK new car registrations came out last Monday on September 1st.

That's not the depressing bit.

I still haven't seen one.

That's also not the depressing bit - I haven't always remembered to look out for them so they are probably out there.  But when I have remembered to look this week, I'm seeing lots of 25s and 74s but no 75s.

Maybe everyone who buys a car in September usually buys a Land Rover vehicle.

The depressing bit is that nobody cares any more.

When I was a child, albeit a car-mad child, there was much excitement on August 1st when the new registration letter came out.

Wish I could claim the credit for finding that but it was in this other Blog talking about the same thing.  He does it a lot more eloquently than me and garners quite a few comments from like-minded people.

Now we have a system that you have to be a registration plate nerd to understand - at least for the September registrations.  The March ones are not too bad as nowadays, instead of a letter, the new registrations are the actual year - so people could get excited about that, especially if it was the ONLY new registration in the year.  There hasn't been an exciting September one since 2019 - and even then not everyone got the joke.

And, given that September car sales are always lower than March ones, maybe it is time to go back to once a year only - March 1st.

It might put a Spring back into car sales.

The Emperor's new Clothes

Rather depressing news this week.

Autocar have it here.

The Ford Puma, which isn't a real Ford Puma like this one:

...remains top of the UK's top selling cars list.

Like 8 out of the top 10, it is a crossover SUV.  

Obviously being bought in large numbers by people who are not particularly interested in cars or driving.  Only the Corsa and Golf remain in the list representing proper cars.

You can't really blame them, they will be looking for decent value cars that meet their requirements and if the dealerships only have crossovers in the showrooms then people will buy those.  And the dealers only tend to be showing crossovers because manufacturers are concentrating on producing them.  And manufacturers are only producing them because they are selling in big numbers.

And now we're stuck in a depressing spiral.

Interestingly, (slightly) none of the top ten are specifically electric cars - although some are available as electric variants.

Meanwhile, in the Driven section of the latest Top Gear Magazine, where they review new cars to market, 9 out of 12 of the cars reviewed are electric (including an electric Puma) but only 6 are definitely cross-overs (including an electric Puma).  A couple it's difficult to tell...

What about this?

Yes that is a cross-over but is it much taller than this?

I've decided that that one is not a cross-over.

I think cross-overs are getting shorter in height so maybe manufacturers have noticed that, although profitable, they are not very good.

So, based on what's coming - there is a glimmer of hope - but it depends on your idea of what a cross-over actually is.

On the Spectre, Um.

Car+Driver are telling us about the new trio of Rolls Royce Spectre special editions.

Rather confusingly for late August, it's called the Primavera, or "Springtime" collection. It's not like the Chinese don't have Spring at the same time as us - I see them as a bigger market than the Australasians.

It comes in three pastel colours including pink:

It reminds me of something...

No, not that.

Maybe this?

Yes, that's what it reminds me of.

The universally loved Jaguar Type 00.  I'm being sarcastic.

Still it could be worse:

Car Parking Karma

Back in June, the BBC reported about a scam whereby fake QR Code stickers were being placed over real ones in carparks to con motorists into giving away bank details when they thought they were paying for parking.

That sounds like a cheaper way than using genuine parking payments when those payments are operated by Excel Parking.

Here is why.

Basically, they have been widely criticised for charging drivers if they took more than five minutes to pay and demanded thousands of pounds from an 18 year old after she was repeatedly caught out by this rule in Darlington.

It was one of many Excel car parks to stipulate that drivers must pay for their parking within five minutes of entering, as part of its terms and conditions.

But, as she pointed out, it sometimes took longer than five minutes due to poor phone signal and problems with the payment app.  Not her fault.

She initially paid the parking charge notices (PCNs) - which were reduced from £100 to £60 if paid within 14 days - and continued using the car park because she felt it was the safest one as a young woman on her own at night.

She decided to start appealing against the PCNs towards the end of 2022, but Excel still insisted she should pay.

She eventually received a letter, in February 2024, asking her to pay 67 unpaid charges.

Each one was £100, plus a £70 debt collection fee, so the total was £11,390.

Law firm Keidan Harrison later offered to help Miss Robinson free of charge - good on them, glad they got a good mention in the BBC News story.

In March, a hearing was held at Middlesbrough County Court, where she was defended by barrister Seth Kitson.

Mr Kitson argued the £100 penalties were unenforceable as Excel had "no legitimate interest in forcing its users to pay within five minutes".

He also said the five-minute payment rule was "inherently preposterous" - and an unfair contract term under the Consumer Rights Act 2015 - due to the lack of phone signal in the car park and the time taken to pay by phone.

District judge Janine Richards dismissed Excel Parking's original claim for two PCNs, and also its application to amend the claim so it could pursue 11 PCNs.

She found Excel's "conduct in relation to this litigation was both unreasonable and out of the norm", and therefore ordered the firm to pay the winning party's legal costs of £10,240.10.

Sorry, I've basically just cut-and-pasted from the BBC story there for those who didn't click on the link above.

As she had had free legal representation, the judge made a pro bono costs order, meaning Excel Parking had to pay the money to a charity called the Access to Justice Foundation who presumably help out others in similar situations - maybe against Excel Parking - that would be nice.

But Excel Parking decided to appeal.  That was rejected by another judge.

Excel claimed,

"We stand by our position that the terms of parking are lawful, reasonable, and unambiguous. Persistent breaches of this nature cannot be justified."

That was clearly shown IN COURT not to be the case!

They have now paid. Good. Serves them right.  See how they like it!

They also need to change their name - they do not excel.

Unsubscribe

I saw this headline yesterday on the Auto Express site...

Unsafe cars explode in numbers: dangerous UK vehicles up 50% in a year

I've left it in their font - you can click on it to see the story.

I can't be sure whether it is click-bait or just a badly worded headline.

Anyway, I clicked on it and it wasn't about exploding cars - not specifically anyway, although some could potentially explode.

Today's story on there that got me clicking was...

Forget Netflix, Volkswagen locks horsepower behind paid subscription

This, bizarrely enough, is a fairly accurate headline.

As if the lack of physical controls wasn't enough reason not to buy a VW ID3, do they really think people will pay £16.50 A MONTH to get the full bhp out of it!

Trump Tariff on Malaysian Cars

Trump fans haven't quite figured out yet that his tariffs mean that they will be paying more to subsidise tax cuts for the very wealthy - like Donald Trump for example.

And soon they could be paying more for their toy cars as well as their real ones.

Because most of Mattel's toy cars (aka Hot Wheels) are made in Malaysia.

Like this Proton Saga:

Which looks a lot better than the real version.

Which, in turn, looks better than any SUV.

Car+Driver have their take on the story here.

Hot Wheels are currently retailing in Walmart for $1.18 which seems to be very good value.

They'll be nearer $1.50 if Trumps tariffs get passed on.

Which actually still seems like very good value.

But multiply that up by the number they must be selling in the States - and Donald will have a lot to thank American children for.