Take a Seat

Or a Cupra - same thing really.

So, if you've got a new boring electric cross-over SUV that needs marketing, how do you make it stand out from all of the other new boring electric cross-over SUVs?

Well, to start with, give it a memorable name - like Tavascan.

Hmm - makes me think Gaviscon - or maybe some Computed Tomography you may require if the Gaviscon isn't doing the trick.

So once you've chosen the name, you  need some sort of pretentious TV ad to try to make people believe that they actually need this particular boring electric cross-over SUV.  I guess there must be enough gullible people out there to make it work - the perfume industry has been doing this for longer than I care to remember.

Here is the Cupra one:

Vomit inducing.  They've also mangled "Everybody wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears.

It is so mangled that at first I decided it was "Walls Come Tumbling Down" by The Style Council (that lyric is included in the bit of the Tears for Fears song that they are mangling)

Shame it wasn't the Style Council one really because then it would make more sense if I said...

You don't have to take this crap.

You don't have to sit back and relax.

Just go out and buy a non-pretentious, non-boring saloon or estate car.

Brand New

Did I miss a story in Autocar last week about a VW Group rebranding exercise?

On October 7th they told us that VW has a new look for it's sporty "R" brand.

On October 14th they told us that Seat could be rebranded as Cupra.

On October 21st I think I must have missed one because...

On October 28th they told us that Skoda may or may not be rebranded as a budget brand.

Checking back, there WAS a rebranding story on the 21st but it was GM rebranding Hummer as an EV brand - a more suitable story for April 1st I'd have thought.

They also had a very interesting slideshow listing what they believe to be the most significant car for every year from 1945 to 2000.  The one for the year of my birth is the Fiat 124.

But I digress.

Traditionally, the VW Group's four main brands have always been:

• Skoda - the cheap one
• Seat - the sporty one
• VW - the mainstream one
• Audi - the posh one

Then you've got the likes of Porsche, Bentley, Lambo and Bugatti as luxury, sporty add-ons.

So they really don't need an R Brand.

Or do they?