Luce Lawless

Ferrari have announced their first all-electric car - the Luce:

Looks good doesn't it?

As long as you view it from that exact angle.

'Cause it just looks weird from every other one.

Auto Express cover the story here describing it as "New Ferrari Luce EV arrives with shocking design, 1,035bhp and £440k price"

Autocar have this describing it as "1036bhp, 329 miles, £440k: Ferrari Luce revealed as wild super-EV"

The Autocar one must be better because it has one extra bhp.

They also have more commenters - more in both number and knowledgability.

The Auto Express ones are just judging the car on the fact it is electric and isn't particularly attractive - not that any of them would be able to afford one despite one claiming that he could - yeah sure mate!  Oh and there is one commenter who is either a Chinese Bot or a Chinese moron - I suspect the former.

A lot of the Autocar comments are also negative but there is a more genuine mix and more constructive criticism.

There is agreement and positive commentry on both websites for the interior and both have comments likening it to a Jaguar i-Pace - something I can definitely see.

Personally though, I'm not that enamoured by the interior:

It has real buttons which is good and the instrumentation is innovative - in a good way - but what is that dashboard made of?  Plastic? Shiny leather?

More weirdness.

So I won't be putting in an order for one.

And not just because I can't afford one.

NSFW - Not Suitable for Wheels

Auto Express is quite right-wing so presumably are not going to criticise Nazi-saluting car-billionaire Elon Musk.

Or his dodgy AI Chatty-Friend Grok.

Anyway, Auto Express are telling us here about how new Model Ys and Model 3s will be getting Grok. 

And how it can be set up.

This includes with "the 18+ rated NSFW modes: ‘Unhinged’, ‘Motivation’, ‘Argumentative’, ‘Romantic’ and ‘Sexy.’"

Grok has always been aimed at the perverted - check out this NBC News story from last Summer where I nicked that picture from.

And, of course, the more recent stories about people using Grok to create images of undressed children which, after the initial outcry, Twitter decided they would put behind a paywall so that only the richer perverts could continue doing it.

Elon could afford it.

Then it became, "had stopped Grok from digitally altering pictures of people to remove their clothing in 'jurisdictions where such content is illegal'".

I suppose by putting into their cars, Grok can tell the pervert where it is legal and they can then drive there.

Using hands-free mode. 

The case for the defence.

I may have mentioned once or twice that I can't be doing with SUVs.

And people who like cars and driving tend to agree with me.

So what is Steve Walker, Head of Digital Content, at Auto Express, doing defending the stupid things?

Is he a website geek rather than a car geek?

His bio states that he has "been a motoring journalist, road tester and editor for over 20 years" so maybe not.

He gives several reasons why SUVs are extremely popular with the buying public, specifically:

• tough looks
• higher seating position that makes it easier to get in and see out
• outdoorsy image

His words not mine.

I get the easy access angle for those of an arthritic nature.

But I certainly wouldn't call a Ford Puma "tough-looking."

In fact, don't get me started on Ford prostituting their former glories by naming SUVs after them:

• Puma
• Capri
• Mustang
• Kuga/Cougar

Back to Steve though, and for all his words, at no point does he say that HE likes SUVs.

Despite this, his article does have a pro-SUV feeling and imply a preference for them so I expected a backlash in the comments.

It is now 7pm British Summer Time and there are only 10 comments.

Three of them are from either a Chinese bot or a Chinese moron using AI.  There is a comment about the Ford Fiesta and a reply stating that they don't make them any more and the final 5 comments are a pointless argument that doesn't really go anywhere.

Meanwhile, I think SUVs don't handle properly and they all look  alike:

So there.

Boring, Yawning Doppelganger

 Electric SUVs.  They do tend to look alike.  Here's the BYD Atto 3:

Does look very much like the rest doesn't it?

Especially from the side - the rear has an interesting twist that nobody seems to like:

According to the rear of the car, BYD stands for "Build Your Dreams" - seems quite naff.

To me, BYD is the Welsh word for "World" so this is a World Car.  Just not as good as a Mondeo.

But to Auto Express, that slogan is the only thing that Steve Fowler of Auto Express and his family really have against the car.

Similarly, and I hate to admit to having been impressed myself, but Jonny Smith of The Late Brake Show was also quite impressed.

Apart from that slogan of course.

It is an excellently detailed review that Jonny does and I have to say I was almost won over by this boring SUV - although maybe the funky interior goes too far in the un-boring direction - too interesting perhaps?

Meanwhile, the Germans don't want to be outdone by The Chinese (BYD are Chinese) so have added something funky to their boring VW ID. 2all concept car which is electric and looks like a compact SUV (I can't tell if it is one or not from the photo)

As Hagerty report, they will have retro-style instruments:

Very Whimsical.

Viva Vauxy

I guess someone at The Mail must read Auto Express.

They have produced this story based on that story.

At least they credited Auto Express.

The story is of the return of the Vauxhall Viva to British shores - albeit in name only.

It would be more of a story if the new car was a small-ish saloon rather than a direct replacement for the Agila.

Auto Express, of course, do a much better job of the story.  The Mail version is peppered with mistakes including calling a Viva Mark III (or HC) a Mark I (HA)

Ha!

They also had the new one selling for the price of the original this morning but they have managed to correct that now.

The Mail being The Mail is also surrounded by adverts that only morons would believe such as "journalist finds way to buy an iPad for £2.50" or "fat-busting pills the doctors don't want you to know about" while it also has links on the page to "juicy" gossip about people nobody has heard of such as (and these are genuine) "Queen of the quick change: Tamsin Egerton holds court in summery pink dress at beach photocall before switching to elegant gown" or "'The only one hungry for attention is you!': US Model Carmen Ortega hits back at Lauren Goodger and continues to threaten lawsuit for belfie 'theft'"

That second one is particularly gibberish.

I do wish they didn't sometimes have interesting car articles - I could safely delete it from my favourites then.

Anyway, for The Mail journalists, here are the four iterations - IN ORDER - of the Viva:

I have to say, that fourth one doesn't really light my candle.  The Mail seem upset that it is being built in Korea when the others were built in Ellesmere Port but since Ellesmere Port is where they build the Astra which is the spiritual and ACTUAL successor to the Viva I don't really see the issue.

 

Ford have reintroduced the Escort - but only in China.  It's the car that matters not the name so The Mail have just got a story out of nothing really.

 

And so have I.

I Want That Car

The second episode of I Want That Car was broadcast on ITV4 last night. 

 

It is ITV's new "Daisybeck Productions give you a male motoring journo & female racer presenting a show giving punters a choice of 3 cars to buy and after test-driving 2 of them they have to select one to purchase while telling you a bit about them and trying to get a good deal off the unseen seller while the car's number plate is covered with the initials of the programme" show.

 

I watched the first one last week and found it irritating but decided to give it another go.

 

This week, I still found it irritating.

 

It could be the music.

 

It could be the fact they go to a racing circuit to do the show while racing is going on but just show little clips of the same racing cars over and over again in the middle of the main element of the show.

 

But I think it's probably the presenters. 

Rebecca Jackson makes big deal of how she is a used car expert (a saleswoman perhaps? - after I suggested they may not exist - no, an "expert" - although judging by her own website, she's only sold one car) and how she races Porsche Boxsters - but she only looks 15 - and she and the cameraman refuse to stand still when she is doing her pieces to camera.  And she's overly enthusiastic.

Mat Watson, meanwhile, works for Auto Express.

He comes over as too chummy and his Brummie accent keeps slipping in and out.  He likes the punters to "floor it" on the test drives and then states that they didn't go over the speed limits.  I wonder if the producer was involved in making that statement.

 

At this point, I suppose, I'd have to admit that I'd be crap at presenting a motoring show, especially if I was an unknown - I'd feel awkward pretending that everyone should just accept me straight off and at least these two do have the right professional backgrounds.

 

But I'm not presenting a motoring show and they are.

 

The show doesn't even have its own Website.  The nearest is this which is really looking for people to take part in it.  They do have a Facebook page which doesn't have many contributions apart from themselves looking for people to take part.  The couple of people who have commented are mixed on the show but one person thinks it is better than Top Gear - idiot!

 

They also have a Twitter feed which doesn't have many contributions apart from themselves looking for people to take part. The couple of people who have commented are a bit pro the show but one person thinks it is better than Top Gear - idiot!

 

The first show consisted of a bloke who used to own a Lotus (we don't know what happened to it) looking for a suitable sporty replacement - he is offered a TT, an Abarth (sporty Fiat 500) and a Porsche Boxster - he chooses the Porsche.

 

The second show consisted of a bloke after a classic.  He is offered a Mini, an MGB and a Porsche 911 Carrera Targa - he chooses the Porsche.

 

Actually, I think I've worked out what irritates me the most, and why I probably won't bother watching the rest of the series - it is because it isn't Used Car Roadshow.  If you aren't sure what Used Car Roadshow was, it was ITV's "Daisybeck Productions give you a male motoring journo & female racer presenting a show giving punters a choice of 3 cars to buy and after test-driving 2 of them they have to select one to purchase while telling you a bit about them and trying to get a good deal off the unseen seller while the car's number plate is covered with the initials of the programme" show.

Where to go for Car News?

Well, obviously, the first point-of-call must be Metro's Car Blog. However, since this excellent site is just my personal musings on random news stories and events that have caught my eye, and since anything appearing here has already been mused by me within my head, other sources of car news are available.

The very best online resource, the 4-Car Website as reported by me in December was unfortunately closed down. This prompted me at the time to investigate a few other options.

I briefly flirted with the Daily Torygraph Car Site. That is where James May has a weekly column but most of the other articles were just painfully right-wing propaganda meaning that the flirtation could not last long at all.

I also got into the daily habit of checking out the websites of Piston Heads news, Auto Express news and Autocar news.

Piston Heads is slightly laddish with Forums populated by similar people who used to log into the 4-Car Forum when it was at its peak. Auto Express is a bit tabloidy but feels more professional although they do have a habit of, for example, taking mock-ups and implying they are production versions.

I've deliberately not included a link to Autocar because when I clicked on a headline there this morning, I was told I'd have to log in or register. Even if it's free (which I suspect it will be) - I can't be doing with logging in every day and I don't see why I should give them personal data anyway. Fortunately, links to old Autocar stories like in my London Taxi article seem to be unaffected. They will be getting at least one less hit a day now - it'll be interesting to see if this affects them at all.

From time to time, I also check out The Fifth Gear Website. They do have a regularly updated news section, hidden in the bottem left-hand corner of the home page - but generally not a lot in there - more than the Top Gear site do though.

The good news from the Fifth Gear site today, although, I'd already spotted it in The Radio Times, is that Fifth Gear TV is back next Thursday. To quote their site, "The 17th series of the show will see your favourite hosts Tiff Needell, Vicki Butler-Henderson, Jason Plato and Jonny Smith return to your screens". This means that Tim Shaw and Tom Ford can't have been our favourite hosts - they have both been dropped.

I won't miss Tim Shaw - like Tim Lovejoy before him, I believe that car shows should only be presented by motoring journalists or racing drivers not people who might be described as "petrol heads" to justify their presence. Or people called Tim. OK, when Top Gear began it was presented by Noel Edmonds and Angela Rippon and I think that worked but I'm too young to be sure and it did evolve beautifully into what it and Fifth Gear are today.

I will miss Tom Ford, however. I've always found him very entertaining and his interactions with Jonny Smith made a good double-act - like the Plato-Needell one. Maybe his work on Top Gear Magazine caused conflicts of interest or maybe budget-cutting meant that the two studio-based presenters were deemed surplus.

This brings me on to the matter of printed matter. The only car magazine I subscribe to is Top Gear - lots of useful, interesting and entertaining stuff in true Reithian BBC tradition. In my teens, I bought the first 100 editions of Auto Express - the first ones were 40p each - not a too bad weekly expense for a child. Then, they started gradually putting up the price in 10p jumps. Each time they did this, they would include lots of car data pages in the back to make it look like you were getting a lot more for your money. Even at the time, I could see this as a sneaky trick so I stopped buying it at about 70p.

I guess my main source of car news is going to be a collection of online resources - I'd like to see a motoring sub-section on the BBC News Technology Site or even the Top Gear site - I'm sure they used to do something like this. Can we have it back, please?