Asda ASBO

 If Benny & Bjorn were called Steve & Dave, then this band would have been called "Asda":

That statement amused me when I read it on Facebook a few weeks ago.

This BBC story amused me when I read it during my lunchbreak today.  It is about a moron in Manchester who was disqualified from driving and wanted for an earlier failure to attend Court.  He bought a second-hand ambulance and took his family shopping in it with the blue lights going.

He was arrested.

As I see it, he made two big mistakes:

1. He should have driven there quietly.

2. He should have gone to Morrisons where it would have blended in in the car park.

That's Mazda Price!

No it isn't.  This Post has nothing to do with Mazda (or Asda) for that matter - but it does have a bit to do with Asda rivals Tesco.

And several news stories from the past two days.

I've just filled up my car with petrol.  At Tescos.  I was particularly amazed (you'll be amazed at a Mazda) because the receipt printer at the self-serve pump was actually working.  This is the first time in approximately 12 months that the receipt printers have been working - what is the point of having self-serve pumps if you have to go into the kiosk to get a receipt?

I was also amazed at the price - for the first time on yonks, I paid under £1 a litre:

This is down to two factors:

Factor 1 is the 12p a litre off thanks to Tesco Clubcard Fuelsave (more about that shortly)  Things are obviously looking up for Tesco - thanks to people like me, their Christmas takings were better than expected and they've got their pump receipt printers sorted.

Factor 2 is that the cost of Brent Crude has dipped below $50 a barrel.  The BBC have that covered here.  Basically, America and the Middle East are all over-producing their oil so the price is tumbling.  Middle Eastern countries such as Saudi Arabia & Iraq but not so much Jordan.

Jordan - not to be confused with the bimbo who calls herself Jordan or the BTCC Driver (and former champion) Andrew Jordan.  Now he is in the news because he has just joined the MG Triple-Eight Team.  He will be taking the place vacated by Jason Plato who is "considering other options" - that story is covered by Autosport.  I hope Jason stays with the BTCC - he clearly wants to and he hints at involvement of another manufacturer team - I wonder if he'll take his main sponsor with him  - now who was that? - oh yes, Tesco Clubcard Fuelsave - the scheme  whereby you get money off fuel if you spend lots in the store.

I believe I covered that before it even started.  And I added at the end of that article a couple of puns that were very funny - including "That's Mazda Price!"

Because it sounds like "That's Asda Price"

OK, I'll get my coat.

Asda Priceless

I think I must have been breaking the law today.

Especially if what happened to this young Lancashire man is anything to go by.  He was fined after pleading guilty to driving while ‘able to see directly or by reflection a TV receiving apparatus used to display something other than information about the state of the vehicle or its equipment, or about the location of the vehicle and the road on which it was located, or to assist the driver to see the road adjacent to the vehicle or to assist the driver to reach his destination.’

I was watching Asda adverts as I drove past a Cheshire Constabulary building this morning.

These adverts were on what I thought was an Asda delivery van but then decided must have been one of these: 

A van with three big TV screens, one on each side and one on the back showing ads - in my case moving (literally moving pictures moving along the road) ads for Asda.

Not the first time it has been done though:

That is Top Gear's attempt at putting James Bond technology (cameras & TV screens) onto a van to make it appear invisible.  Richard Hammond is driving it but, of course, you can't see him.

Looking for those picture did lead me to several others that made we wonder about the drivers of actual Asda delivery vans.

This one trusted his sat-nav too much:

This one had to be rescued after going down a slipway to turn around:

But this one is my favourite - getting stuck after attempting a three-point turn in a too-narrow road. 

So what about Adsa customers?

 

I can't decide if this is brilliant or stupid.  The car-park was full of cars belonging to people doing their Christmas shopping: