400 and Out.

Is it really over?

Dennis Collins' Coffee Walk has been something I've loved for years.

A new episode has come out on YouTube every Friday for presumably 400 weeks.

Now he has stated it is over.  He did use the word "Break" - does that mean it may be back?  Or he's just having a holiday?

One commenter was hoping that it was just an April Fool's Prank - I suspect that commenter is not very good at using calendars.  Let's hope Dennis isn't either.

Does this mean that Zach Oncamera will be getting his P45?  His real surname may be Gorgas - I'm not 100% sure.

The final episode involved the purchase of a "Holy Grail" 1965 Ford Mustang "K" Car - which is the one with the biggest engine that Shelby used as a base for his ones.  I've learnt that plus a fair bit about Jeeps and VIN tags by watching Coffee Walk over the years.

He bought it from a Trump fan who had kept it in very good condition - I wonder if he thinks the show is called Covfefe Walk? 

Coffee Walk has always been my signal that the working week is over - it means I can relax and I usually enjoy it with a can of lager or two.  I guess I'll be going back to Gardener's World now - I'll be learning about Hydrangeas and the like.  Wonder how Monty Don and the Cockney bloke who is a good gardener but shouldn't be because he is a Cockney bloke have been getting on?

Oh well, if it really is over, then thank you Dennis and gang for entertaining me.  I'll miss you all.

Catch the 400th (final?) episode here.

Don't put a C1 an your CV.

The BBC have a picture and story worthy of local newspapers.

Attractive young woman looking unhappy with reason for her grievance.

Only thing missing is she should be pointing at it.

Not that it is the car's fault - an estate agent was being ageist.

The attractive young woman in question was not shortlisted for a job she applied for because her car was too old.

The estate agents, haart, who are obviously too trendy to use capital letters claimed that, "It's extremely important that people who work for us use reliable vehicles for their own personal safety, particularly where they travel many miles each day and often work alone."

Oh, so they are worried about her safety!

No, they just don't want their image being affected by older cars which may give the impression that they don't pay their staff enough to buy newer car.

That was my take on it anyway.

I can't see a well maintained 2014 Citroen C1 being particularly more unreliable that a 9 year old one.

And if they took on someone with a 9 year old Citroen C1, would they have to sack them in 12 months?

I don't know if they have had a policy change since the BBC highlighted this today, but here's a bit of a job ad for a position they have open today: 

It just says the car has to be in "good condition."

 

Not even "very good condition."

 

Maybe she should apply to this place:

Spectres

 

Or Ghosts or Phantoms.

What happens when you want to import your Roller (or any other luxury car) into France but don't fancy paying import duties?

 

I'll tell you.

 

You register it as being adapted for disabled people - even if it isn't.  That way it is Tax Exempt.

 

So how do you actually do that then?

 

I'll tell you.

 

You take advantage of a bit of a stupid decision made by the French government in 2017.  They decided to part-privatise the SIV - ie the registration system.  This was allegedly in a bid to speed up the slow process of delivering registration papers to car-buyers but probably, like all privatisations, to save money anjd help their rich friends make money.

 

Look at Mrs.Thatch in the '80s.

 

But I digress.

 

Some 2,000 civil servants were assigned to new tasks, and instead car-dealers were given the right to access the register themselves in order to issue documents for their clients.

 

Car dealers!?

What could possibly go wrong?

 

The full story is here.

 

And to give you the opening paragraph...

 

A million illegally-registered cars are being driven in France in a fraud scandal that has cost hundreds of millions of euros in lost taxes and fines, according to the state auditor.

 

These are known as "ghost cars" - even the ones that are not Rolls Royces.

 

The closing paragraph concludes...

 

France's interior ministry said it acknowledged the problem, and was taking steps to remedy it. An action plan announced last year has led to an increase in fraud detections, while the number of authorisations to access the SIV has been sharply reduced. 

 

 I think I know who they need to call. 

Sensible Volvo Drivers.

Does that mean sensible drivers in Volvos?

Or drivers in sensible Volvos?

Speaking as a sensible Volvo driver - I'd say both.

We don't drive rally cars along the M53.

And we don't put Bentley badges on Chrysler 300Cs.

How can that be a thing?

But it is apparently.

And then there's cyclists - I've got quite a collection of dashcam footage of them going through red traffic lights.

Some very blatantly.

You'd never catch a Volvo driver doing that.

Polestar 2.2

Was it really April 2024 when I reported on the stupid naming system that Polestar were to use on their model range?

Yes! 

According to their boss, Thomas Ingenlath, the Polestar 2 would be replaced with the Polestar n where

n = the next integer not already assigned to a Polestar.

I pointed out at the time, the folly of doing that. 

Just like in 2018 when I pointed out the folly of choosing Paddy McGuinness & Freddie Flintoff to present Top Gear.

I was proved correct.

Eventually.

Auto Express have this story today about the replacement for the Polestar 2.

It's headlined, "New Polestar 2 to lose SUV looks and embrace its sporty saloon side"

Apart from anything else, I don't think the Polestar 2 does look like an SUV - which is probably why I like it.

Anyway, I clicked on the link for their guess at what it would look like and found this:

Which made be think, "That doesn't look like a sporty saloon - where's the boot?"

Then I worked out that their link had taken me to a page of guesses or "renderings" that didn't actually include the new Polestar 2.  That particular picture was an attempt at what a future MG will look like.

Then I worked out that the picture at the top of the story was their guess: 

 

That doesn't look like it will "lose SUV looks and embrace its sporty saloon side."

 

It just looks like the current one - which already looks like a sporty non-SUV.

 

Which will probably be known as the 2 Mark II.

 

While the boss now appears to be known as Michael Lohscheller.

Another Reason to Hate the Mustang Mach-e

Not only is it an SUV.

Not only does it prostitute the name of a classic Ford muscle car.

Now you have to pay to use the front boot!

Here's the Car+Driver story.

They want $495 to let you get at it!

That's over £350!

For a Frunk.  Or as we'd call it - a Froot.

Here's the result of the Car+Driver survey on the subject:

They can frunk right off.

NSFW - Not Suitable for Wheels

Auto Express is quite right-wing so presumably are not going to criticise Nazi-saluting car-billionaire Elon Musk.

Or his dodgy AI Chatty-Friend Grok.

Anyway, Auto Express are telling us here about how new Model Ys and Model 3s will be getting Grok. 

And how it can be set up.

This includes with "the 18+ rated NSFW modes: ‘Unhinged’, ‘Motivation’, ‘Argumentative’, ‘Romantic’ and ‘Sexy.’"

Grok has always been aimed at the perverted - check out this NBC News story from last Summer where I nicked that picture from.

And, of course, the more recent stories about people using Grok to create images of undressed children which, after the initial outcry, Twitter decided they would put behind a paywall so that only the richer perverts could continue doing it.

Elon could afford it.

Then it became, "had stopped Grok from digitally altering pictures of people to remove their clothing in 'jurisdictions where such content is illegal'".

I suppose by putting into their cars, Grok can tell the pervert where it is legal and they can then drive there.

Using hands-free mode. 

Kit Kars

Have a Brake.

Have a Kit-Kar.

Return of the Grand Tour!

Just with three different blokes:

Haven't a clue who they are but they seem far too young.

That will be the reaction of most Grand Tour fans I imagine.

It was certainly my first thought.

Jeremy has done an "amusing" little sketch for The socials where he is choosing them: 

So I suppose I'd better find out who they are.

Thomas Holland appears to be Spiderman.

I may have the wrong person.

There's a racing driver called Thomas Holland - it must be him - I approve of racing drivers becoming TV motoring presenters - like Tiff Needell, Jason Plato and of course, Vicki Butler-Henderson. Only trouble is, Thomas Holland the racing driver doesn't look like any of the blokes in that photo.

OK, a bit more digging.  Thomas and second new presenter James Engelsman are successful motoring Youtubers with a channel called Throttlehouse.

I'd never heard of it but they have 3.36 million subscribers so must be doing something right.  I approve.

Although I'd have probably gone with the Youtube presenters I watch - Ian from Hubnut, Ed from Twincam and Ryan from Yorkshire Car Restorations. I'd love to see how those three would get along.

The third presenter, who I have also never heard of, is "viral train enthusiast Francis Bourgeois."

They nearly had me. 

Where is the year going?

I'm noticing that it's actually light when I'm driving home from work.

And according to the contents page of the Top Gear Magazine that came this week - IT'S APRIL!

Hang on a mo'!

Now I know that Top Gear Magazine tends to be ahead of the time in terms of editions - it's so that they can fit a thirteenth "Awards" edition into the calendar year.

But April!?

So I checked on the one that came last month.

It only feels like four weeks between them.  Have they not delivered the March one and I've not noticed?

This month it was Number 405 - we are into Peugeot saloon territory.  So what was the one I got last month?

So a bit of a cock-up in the editorial department. Sack the proof-reader.

And Happy Easter!

Toyota Teases a Mysterious New SUV with a Blocky Design.

No, you lost me at SUV. 

That's a Car+Driver story today.

Which I won't read.

Meanwhile there is an Autocar long-term test of the Polestar 3 here.

It's worth reading just for these two paragraphs alone:

The 3 is so called because it's the third model Polestar has launched as a standalone brand. When I've told people I'm getting a 3, they've asked: "Is that the one without the rear window?"

No, that's the 4. The 3 was launched at the same time as the 4. Given that the 4 is smaller than the 3 and the 2 is smaller than the both, it would make more sense if the 3 were called the 4 and the 4 the 3. But Polestar's naming convention for now is sequential, in the order of launch.

Getting Angrier

There's a lot to be angry about in the world today.

There's Crossover SUVs.

There's the Orange Man-baby and his British sycophant, Nigel.

There's Kygo molesting brilliant songs by deceased black female singers.

And there's missing out on the latest upgrades because my Volvo is FROM 2020.

All post-2020 Volvos will receive new 'conversational' Gemini system in massive over-the-air update

That story is from Autocar - a publication I also referenced yesterday.

I regularly check out their website for the daily car news but I don't usually look at their slideshows because I reckon they only have about 8 and they keep repeating them over and over again.

However, today they had a new one - 20 Very Angry Looking Cars!

Now, to look angry, you need to have eyebrows making a V shape and squint a bit.

Clenched fists help but cars can't do that.

So what do the Autocar Angry Cars look like?

The Mitsubishi Delica Mini does look extremely angry - good job they don't sell them here.

The Suzuki Alto Turbo just looks like it is wearing 1970s spectacles.

The Simca 1000 doesn't look angry at all - just mildly perplexed.

The Chevy Rondine concept looks more determined than angry.

Nope - not a clue why this is in here. Now I'm mildly perplexed. Wonder if I'm currently resembling a Simca 1000.

Also not angry - just very ugly with huge and sore nostrils.

And the Gordon Keeble can maybe be described as more grumpy than angry.

The rest of the 20 vary in angryness from not very to a bit.
 

Meanwhile I'm not angry on missing out on the free Volvo software upgrade - I'm used to how I currently interact with my car.

Even if I do find myself arguing with the 2020 voice command system.

In fact, it sometimes makes me angry.

British Bulldog

 No, not the Aston Martin one:

This is the Honda City MkII Turbo.

Or is it a Honda City Turbo MkII?

In either case, it's nickname is the "Bulldog".

Autocar have the story today of a British man who went over to Japan to organise the purchase of one and then ended up buying a second one over here.

Although it looks like a Kei car - it's actually too big and powerful to be one.

But due to it's age, it could be imported into America where the orange man-baby has taken an interest in the genre.

Why can't he stick to getting things wrong on stuff like this rather than being a moron about important stuff? 

Billionaires Shortcomings

Are all billionaire's twats?

Elon Musk clearly is.

And Donald Trump.

And Rupert Murdoch.

And Bernie Ecclestone.

And Philip Green.

And Viscount Rothermere.

This isn't looking good.

But there are thousands of billionaires.

Paul McCartney & Oprah Winfrey seem nice.

And so does Bill Gates.

I've never liked Beyonce's music - until she did Texas Hold 'Em - which I love - and she seems OK as a person too.

So where are all of these billionaires living.

I'd fancy a nice mansion with a big garden and a big garage.

But I'm not rich so that's irrelevant.

It seems car companies are building towers for billionaires to live in.

In Dubai, Bugatti is building its first residential tower. The cheapest apartments are set to cost £3.9m. The less cheap ones will have private lifts meaning that owners can park their cars inside their apartments.  It doesn't say how many cars you can get into an apartment but I love the idea.

Porsche's Design Tower in Miami opened in 2017, while Aston Martin's Residences Miami launched last year.

"Meanwhile, in Texas, Discovery Land Company's upcoming residential Austin Surf Club is centred around a vast man-made surf lagoon."

Is that a Land-Rover Discovery or an Austin project?

Fancy a drink?

If, so, then you might want to consider one of UniBev's products.

Like Bra Tea.

or

Algae To Go (I've deliberately spelled those very slightly wrong for comic effect)

or

Firewoman Sam.

The product is called, "FEUERWEHRMANN SAM" - I don't speak German so may have translated that for comic effect.

They seem to have a new product now called Cybercab.

A bit more embarassment for not-the-top-producer-of-electric-vehicles-in-the-World.

Also known as Tesla.

They've lost their top-seller crown to BYD of China and seen sales falling not just because of Elon's far right tendencies.

So they are pinning their hopes on autonomous taxis that they have decided to call Cybercabs.

What could possibly go wrong?

THIS!