Telegraph Road

Another bloke from The Telegraph is learning to drive.

His name is Tom Rowley.

Now I realise that looks like Una Stubbs - but that is the first picture that came up when I typed "Tom Rowley Telegraph" into Google Images.  This is what he really looks like: 

(the bloke in the glasses not the little creature on his arm)

 

Any road up, I found this story in the Telegraph motoring section.  It follows on from one earlier in the week about Noel Gaughan, the driving instructor to the stars (as opposed to Nick Freeman, the motoring lawyer to the stars).

 

So far, Noel has taught:

• Adele who I have heard of
• Niall Horan who I hadn't heard of but is from from the boy band One Direction who I unfortunately have heard of.
• James McAvoy - Yes
• Mika - Yes
• Gemma Arterton - Yes
• Christina Chong - Nope
• Rhys Ifans - Yes
• Lara Stone - a model apparently, not the girl from Tomb Raider
• Pixie Geldof - Yuk

He also claims not to know who they all are.

 

He also didn't know who Tom Rowley is.

 

But he does now - he's giving him a one-week crash-course to pass his test.  I love that phrase when applied to driving lessons.

 

I don't know if we'll find out how Tom got on.  I say that because the adventures of Ed Cummings fizzled out after just three articles (at least that was all I ever found) - Ed being the other Telegraph bloke I hinted at before.  I covered Ed's story last December.

 

I wonder if he passed, or just ended up in Dire Straits.

Driven to Drink

Is it really 10 years since Alastair Stewart was sacked as presenter of Police Camera Action after being caught drink-driving?

Yes.

Nobody should drink-drive - but most people convicted will quietly go to Court, get fined and banned and quietly go away without anyone really noticing.

Some people though, like Alistair, may just attract a bit of attention.

The woman in this story for example.  She is a lawyer, who, according to her own firm's Website, "has a vast knowledge in relation to the offence of Drink Driving. She has won many cases using the many procedural defences available that can arise if the police fail to deal with clients at the roadside and/or in the police station correctly."  I've cut-and-pasted that directly from the site because I wouldn't be surprised if they change that bit soon.

Maybe she should have defended herself.

Or paid for this bloke.  Yes, I know that's a Wikipedia link but, today at least, everything seems to check out in it.  Nick Freeman - aka Mr.Loophole ("Mr Whiplash" would be funnier) is fairly famous for getting celebrities (including Jeremy Clarkson & Tiff Needell) cleared of motoring offences - often on technicalities.  I'm put off lawyers at the best of times - possibly because of the annoying multitude of injury lawyer adverts encouraging people to sue for the stupidest of things - there's one where a workman says "my company gave me the wrong sort of ladder" - well you should know the difference you moron.  I also object to my motor insurance premium increasing to pay for fictitious whiplash claims - I could have made one myself last year when I was rear-ended but I won't because I'm basically honest.

So, what's the moral of all this?

Don't drink and drive.

Unless you're somewhere safe and outside the jurisdiction of the law.

Cheers!