Criticism of SUVs

The number of times that I have criticised SUVs on my Blog is almost incalculable.  It would involve doing a search for the term in my entire Blog history and then assuming I've said something derogatory against each reference.

Anyway, this story led me down an internet rabbit-hole today with me ending up on a Wikipedia page entitled, "Criticism of SUVs"

I've always hated them because they are pointless.

Unless you are a farmer or live in a remote bit of Africa.

I particularly hate that people buy them because they feel safer than us normal people in them - a point admirably disproved in that story with evidence provided in the Wiki page.

Then, thanks to the stupidly named and stupidly existing Nissan Qashqai, they became trendy.

And don't get me started on the stupidly named and stupidly existing Nissan Juke.

Is there also an element that as people get bigger, their vehicles have to as well?

Maybe - but they don't have to get taller and heavier - well maybe the electric ones have to get heavier - but once they sort out battery technologies the weights should come back down again.

This trend - autobesity - also has it's own, somewhat less comprehensive, Wiki page.

Now, if someone would just link SUVs to obesity - then maybe people would stop viewing them so positively and we could go back to proper cars that fitted into parking spaces and handled properly.

And didn't look stupid.

Master Stroke

As recently as Tuesday, I was reminding you all of how much I admire the writing of Car+Driver's Ezra Dyer.

Well, it looks like Hagerty also have a motoring wit in Matt Master.

Not sure why Hagerty (or maybe Facebook) waited until today to introduce me to the author of this article from May last year.

In it, Master so eloquently muses on how the Nissan Qashqai heralded the beginning of the end of the world as we knew it - and I totally agree with him.

Yuk.

OK, maybe we can't blame it for Brexit or Trump - blame The Daily Mail and Rupert Murdoch for those. But we can blame it, and moreover its success with Mail readers, school run Mums and the Chinese, for the demise of fun cars.

The article is well worth 4 minutes of anyone's time.

Judging by the comments at the end, he's managed to upset a lot of Qashqai drivers - some of whom can't even spell Qashqai.

Good.

The Nissan Juke is shit too.

A Little Nissan Qashqai

They don't have Nissan Qashqais in America.

Is it because they can't pronounce it?

That can't be it - they manage well enough with their own pronunciations of Jaguar and Hyundai.

Although their version of the Qashqai is a lot easier to pronounce - I give you the Nissan Kicks:

Which looks remarkably like a Qashqai and is about the same size.

WHICH ISN'T SMALL!

It seems to be 85mm shorter than a Qashqai though - which is probably why it has made it in to Autoguide's list of the Smallest Cars on Sale Today 

- in America.

Their smallest car is the Chevrolet Spark.  That used to be on sale here in the UK.  It was bland.

I suppose it is small - albeit not as small as a Fiat 500.

Drive.com.au have a story about one of those that is antibacterial.  It has a UV lamp in the glovebox to zap Covid too.

And a link to U2.

You can only drive it where the streets have no name.

It is part of a partnership between Stellantis and Red.  Red is a company co-founded by Bono which seems to be linked to fighting health emergencies around the World.

Like Covid.

But, if a Fiat 500 is still too big for you, you may be interested in this Swiss, electric, Isetta:

It has two seats.

So it can be driven with or without you.

C U Later

What is the difference between a CUV and an SUV? (a CUV being a Crossover Utility Vehicle)

 

Google gives this answer:

For many car experts, the difference between the two is simple: A crossover is based on a car's platform, while an SUV uses the chassis of a truck. The result is that crossovers use "unibody" architecture, meaning the body and frame are one piece, while SUVs use a "body on frame" design.

 

But then again, would car experts really care?

 

They shouldn't.  But as Autoguide tell us today, BMW and Benz to Sell More CUVs Than Cars This Year.

 

By the way, the term CUV isn't used much here in the UK, we'd just call them cross-overs.  It's a bit like sidewalk & pavement or Trump & childish moron.

 

Those of us that like cars and driving should view this as a bad thing.  People who aren't very interested in cars and see them in the same category as washing machines used to buy Japanese cars in the '80s and Korean cars in the '90s and now buy CUVs and SUVs.

 

But buying them they are.

 

In big numbers.

 

Forcing even the likes of Lamborghini and Rolls Royce to start building the things.

 

And forcing The Grand Tour boys to do a film with three of the least worst:

Albeit reluctantly.

 

Last week Autocar revealed the top 10 sellers in the UK in January, which included:

• The Nissan Qashqai
• The Vauxhall's Mokka X
• The Kia Sportage
• The Ford Kuga

Oh dear.

 

I suppose I should be grateful there are only four in there.  And none in the top three.

 

Anyway, despite the constant negative press CUVFEFE.

 

The Prime Minister is a Liar

I do like a good, controversial post title.

I object to David Cameron on many fronts - mostly his politics and partly the fact that he is about a month younger than me - it's not nice being older than the Prime Minister.

Anyway, he tells his lie at the McLaren factory in the video attached to this brief news item. He says that apart from a golf-buggy and an electric Range-Rover, he has not "sat behind the wheel of a car" in the last 18 months. These pictures beg to differ...That was a Mini Cooper in June this year. This is a similarly decorated Qashqai in the same month......and this is another Mini from August...
I'll let him off with this one though......on three counts:

+It was in 2005 so well before 18 months ago.
+He isn't actually behind the wheel.
+You can't actually call a G-Wiz a car.

I've decided I actually feel a bit sorry for old (make that "young") Dave though - HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DRIVE!

Enough to make you not want to be Prime Minister.