Back To the Future

No, it's not a DeLorean story, it's a BMW story.

Most motoring websites (like Car+Driver here) are picking up on BMW's Vision Neue Klasse which is supposed to be the electric future of the 3-Series.

and it looks bloody good:

Probably because it is s retro design harking back to the beautiful BMWs of the 1960s.  Although the back is very Alfa Romeo:

The important thing is it doesn't have the stupid nostrils/beaver teeth of the modern cars:

Interior looks more like a conservatory and the seat covers are corduroy:

Yes - corduroy!

The sort of material you would find on the trousers of the people in this video from the past:

Priceless

Back in 2010, in my third month of this Blog and I was a bit more serious because I didn't know then what I wanted it to be.

Here's the story I did then on fuel prices.  I was paying 107.9p a litre back then.

This week I paid 138.9p a litre.

But when this photo was taken, people using Lancaster Services were paying 151.9p a litre.

Which, while feeing quite steep generally, isn't too bad for motorway services although...

a) I don't know when that photo was taken and...

b) the fact that sign exists implies that they are trying to sell fuel cheaper

If you are wondering what I mean by point b there, take a read of this from Auto Express this week.

Moto Hospitality, the main operator of UK motorway services, claim they want to reduce their fuel prices but can't because National Highways won't let them put up signs like that one at Lancaster.

Say what now!?

Their argument is, "At a couple of our sites where we lowered the fuel price but we didn't have a sign, there was some increase in volume, but it wasn't enough to justify lowering the fuel price.”

That is because motorway services have a bad reputation when it comes to expensive fuel!

If they sold reasonably priced fuel and everyone knew that they sold reasonably priced fuel, then people would go and buy reasonably priced fuel in big enough numbers to justify selling reasonably priced fuel!

It's not difficult.

And it's not like there isn't an easy way of telling the price of fuel at your nearest motorway service station:

Petrolprices.com - I mentioned them back in that 2010 story and this week they pointed me at the 138.9 unleaded I bought.  Pity The Government aren't aware of petrolprices - they are talking about a similar guide except the retailers will need to provide the up-to-date prices.

So, what has actually changed in the last 13 and a half years?

Petrol is even more expensive.

And what has stayed the same?

I'm still using petrolprices.com and there are no jokes in my fuel prices stories.

George Michael Impersonator

Two different BBC car stories caught my eye today.

Ford have launched a car that can be driven hands-free on British motorways.

WHY!?

OK, so I suppose you  have to start somewhere - but not with this.

Apparently, you have to keep your eyes on the road ahead and "the driver is not permitted to use their mobile, fall asleep or conduct any activity that takes attention away from the road."

So what is the point?

Plus, this is a Ford Mustang Mach e that has a maximum speed of 80mph.

DON'T CALL SOMETHING THAT CAN ONLY DO 80MPH A MUSTANG!

I hate the way Ford are reusing classic car names on horrible SUVs - I'm looking at you, Ford Puma.

I don't normally like the comments under BBC stories - the ones I usually read tend to be full of angry Gammons still trying to defend Brexit.  But this one is lots of angry Gammons and angry non-gammons coming up with more and more reasons why this won't work in Britain.  Smart Motorways being a good one - this car is supposed to safely grind to a halt if the driver loses interest in the road ahead - you will have cars stopping all over the place on warm, Summer afternoons.

And will Police have to check whether or not it is the right age of Mustang when they see a driver doing jazz-hands while travelling at 70mph down the M6? And that his hands-free subscription is up to date?

Yes, you need to subscribe to this hands-free driving lark as well!

So why have I called this post, "George Michael Impersonator?"

Ah, well that's because of my second BBC story which combines my love of cars with my love of Swansea City Football Club.  Danny Graham made 54 appearances for us. This includes when we were in the Premier League, so I don't know why we are only a sub-note in the story of him crashing an expensive Jaguar-Land-Rover vehicle into a Co-op in County Durham:

Whilst over the limit.

I wonder if his hands were on the wheel at the time?

Trussed Up

I'm getting fed up of Autocar's car news.

It seems to just now be "business insights" that you have to register for or repeats of slideshows.

So I decided to go back to my old favourite - Auto Express car news.

There they had a couple of stories from earlier in the week about how our new feeble-minded, Thatcher-Wannabe Prime Minister was trying to woo the 180000 old white men who got to choose the replacement for the bumbling lecherous Churchill-Wannabe liar.

I'm talking, of course, about Liz Truss:

Hang on, that might be the wrong picture.

Yes, this one is Liz Truss:

You can tell by the spurious union flags.

Anyway, there is one story I actually find myself agreeing with the woman on - she is not a fan of Smart Motorways and suggests the evidence she's seen indicates the concept has failed.

Too bloody right it has - people have died!

The story is here.  Every time I drive to Manchester on the M56 I get slowed down by the roadworks behind the conversion of a stretch of it into Smart Motorway - I dread the day it is opened so that doubles the torture.

Just because you call something "smart" it doesn't mean it actually is - look at Liz Truss for example.

In the other story, she suggests that she is “prepared” to look into scrapping mandatory speed limits on motorways as prime minister.  Now using words like "suggest" and "prepared to look into" means that this is as likely to happen as the 40 new hospitals Boris promised us.

And is she saying she wants to make us more like Germany!?

We could have stayed in the EU for that.

This story wouldn't have chimed with the old men voting for the PM so maybe that is why the final voting went a lot closer than most people - me included - thought it would.

Never mind.

At least Priti Patel is gone.

"Toyota realizes that not everyone has access to my wife"

A brilliant quote from a brilliant article in Autoguide.  They've been very sparse with their writing lately but this one is a welcome piece from their writer Chris Tonn.

Although the subject matter is a bit concerning in a Big Brother sort of way.

Toyota are attempting to patent technology whereby cars would be able to judge your driving and limit what you are allowed to do dependent on your driving skills.

Don't know if it could stop you exiting motorways if you don't understand how indicators work.

Probably not a good idea - motorways would end up full of BMWs that had run out of fuel.

Meanwhile, the BBC of all people, have an article that is very badly written.  They cover a story about how the Mayor of Cheshire East will be getting a new car.

Mayor of Cheshire East!?

Is that even a thing?

Apparently so.

Cheshire East is half a county - how can half a county have a mayor?

Well it has.  Not just half a mayor but a complete mayor.  It also has the Bentley factory so the mayoral car is a Bentley.  Logical if somewhat extravagant.  The lucky mayor has a Bentley Continental Flying Spur. But, according to the story, not for long.

According to the story, "Bentley will soon be launching a plug-in hybrid model called the Bentayga" - this is accompanied by a picture of a three-year-old Bentayga:

Martin Smith, the council's registration and civic services manager told councillors the current petrol-driven Flying Spur emits 254g of carbon dioxide per km, and does about 24 miles per gallon (mpg) of fuel.

 

I shall stop now before I am overcome with excitement.

Motorway Madness

I saw a story on the BBC News Website this lunchtime concerning a car and caravan being driven the wrong way down a motorway.  There was  a still from some Dashcam footage showing a van avoiding them.

The story said that there had been a collision and an air ambulance had been called but there was no news of injuries.

I thought it might make a good story to do an item on.  Especially since I got a Dashcam for my birthday a few weeks ago.  And also because the BBC had this story at the weekend about Norfolk and Suffolk Police releasing Dashcam footage of bad driving.  Including one example I wrote about last month.

Then, unfortunately, tragically in fact, news emerged that three people had been killed including the elderly couple in the Subaru Forrester that was towing the caravan.

Motorways are supposedly the safest type of road to drive on.

But you still get bad driving.

Like this divvy blonde woman in an A-Class.

It doesn't look that bad on the video but I was travelling at 80mph with NOTHING behind me when she noticed Junction 4 was coming up:

Now, the Norfolk and Suffolk Police have been inviting people to send in Dashcam footage so I wonder if Merseyside Police do?

 

Well, returning to the BBC, we find this story from July.

 

It's about a Website which allows visitors to upload videos before sending footage to the right police force.

 

It's here and was set up by Nextbase - the Dashcam manufacturer.

 

I won't be using it for that footage though.

 

But I thought about it for this two junctions later:

Although I've not got a clear view of his number plate.

 

He was very fortunate that the rest of us had our wits about us and that there wasn't a car coming along the outside lane.

 

I'm assuming it was a "he"

 

And he probably thinks that he is a very good driver when in reality, it is the other motorists who are preventing his accidents.

 

And he has been very lucky.  So far.

A Lorry Carrying Bleach Shed Its Load at a Notorious Accident Blackspot Today...

Turning it immediately into a notorious accident whitespot.

The BBC have an item on unusual things spilled onto Britain's roads.

I'm not sure they should have included the deaths of 1500 chickens in a light-hearted article but never mind.

I thought this picture looked a bit horrific when you look at where the cab of the tanker is:

I guess the emergency services must have done that though given that, in this article, they state that "nobody was seriously injured."

There were a couple of spillages this month that could have made the list.

The first involved the M4 being shut by handwipes and diesel.  Maybe they used the forner to mop up the latter.

The second was a milk spill on the M42.

Still, you know what they say...

"No point in crying over spilt milk."

Losing Focus

I'm only posting this because I know she is making a full recovery.

This has to be one of the scariest videos I have ever seen.

It looks like the driver was making a very foolish manoeuvre.

It was caught on film by a Polish truck driver (who was somewhat involved) and reported in Belgian news (for that is where it happened) back in August here and updated recently here including comments from the unfortunate (or maybe very fortunate) Focus Driver.  You may want to use a translate tool if, like me, you aren't familiar with the Dutch language.

This picture graphically shows the immediate aftermath.

Good job it was a left-hand drive car.

 

The video has gone viral and I can't say I'm surprised.

Is This the Saddest Page on the Internet?

No, not the one you're reading right now. I'm talking about the one I stumbled upon while trying to establish whether or not there was a W.H.Smith at Chester Services on the M56.

It was this one.

It was probably a waste of time me looking it up anyway - there seems to be a W.H.Smith at every Motorway Services in the UK.

Before I found that one, I did think for a while that this could be the saddest site on the Global Interweb.

But then I spent a good three-quarters of an hour looking up my local and oft-used roads. Someone needs to update their A483 bit.

The site does go rather sad when you venture into the forums but steer clear of them and it is all quite interesting and even entertaining.

They also link in to another site with the story of my local motorway. I'll forgive them for labelling it "pathetic".

I also like their amusing roadsigns section...

"There's no such thing as The Fast Lane"

That's what I always tell people anyway.

If you're on a Motorway, the first lane, as frequented by lorries and Daewoo Matiz's, is the lane you are supposed to drive in. This is often erroneously referred to as "The Slow Lane".

The second lane, as frequented by women in Fiestas with "Baby on Board" stickers and lorries driving at 1mph more than those in the first lane, is the lane you are supposed to use solely for overtaking lorries and Daewoo Matiz's.

The third lane, as frequented by Audis and BMWs travelling at 99mph and pensioners travelling at 69mph ("They don't need to get past me bacause the speed limit is 70mph - ooh look at that naughty person in his flash car passing me on the inside! He won't get there any quicker you know, Mabel") This lane should be used for overtaking the women in Fiestas with "Baby on Board" stickers and lorries driving at 1mph more than those in the first lane. This is often erroneously referred to as "The Fast Lane".

This post will be a mystery to those who read my blog from the other side of the Atlantic where "undertaking" on the freeways is perfectly legal. It makes so much more sense to be allowed to pass slower vehicles on either side and I would love to see that introduced here but, alas, I think there would be carnage for as long as it took everyone to get used to the idea so it can never happen.

Now here is a "fast lane"/"slow lane" that I would like to see introduced...
I believe that this should be introduced nationally and especially in supermarkets.