Humming

That's the noise an electric motor makes.

So is an electric Beetle a Humbug?

Remember when Arnie Schwarzenegger got his Humvie H1 electrified?

Not the most attractive of vehicles but the thought of an environmentally friendly Hummer was novel.

Well GMC have finally revealed lots of information about, and pictures of, their new electric Hummer:

Car+Driver have got loads of stories on it - here is just one.

And I have to say I really like it.  I don't normally like that class of vehicle - I guess I was put off by the old Nissan Navara ads which basically said that people who nobody respected should buy them.

Apparently the first 2022 models will all be white with a removable black roof, bronze-coloured wheels and a two-tone black and grey interior with bronze accents and Edition 1 badges.

Other variations including cheaper models will come later but let's be honest, it's these Edition 1 ones that Wayne Carini's Great-Grandkids will be getting excited about in Season 180 of Chasing Classic Cars.

So if an electric Beetle is a Humbug, then an electric Hummer must be...

...a Hummer.

Spot The Difference

Look at these two nearly identical photographs and see if you can spot the main difference between them:

Did you spot it?

 

Yes, of course you did! The second photo has more Volkswagens in it.

 

Car+Driver have the story today.

 

This is a recreation by Volkswagen Sweden of the classic Abbey Road album cover.  It celebrates the 50th anniversary of the album and raises money for a children's charity in Sweden - you can download a version of this picture for a donation. It is also to promote VW's Park Assist - observe that the Beetle in the original picture (sometimes referred to as "the fifth Beetle") is badly parked. 

 

So, yes the second photo does have more Volkswagens in it.

 

But less Beatles.

Don't Mention The War

That phrase was famously said by a silly man with a silly moustache.

Here he is not mentioning the war:

 Here's another silly moustache:

Remember that when Charlie Chaplin and Oliver Hardy sported this style, they were meant to look silly.  This house I took a photo of  several years ago seems to carry off the Hitler look quite well.

Now the real Hitler, in the penultimate picture here, is modelling the Volkswagen Beetle.

If the Beetle was so good though, why were Nazis always photographed hailing taxis?

People who don't like the Beetle are always quick to make the famous association with Adolf - something Volkswagen themselves would probably not be wanting to remind people of.

Shame their boss managed to do just that.  The BBC story is here.  He appears to have used a play-on-words with the phrase "Arbeit Macht Frei" - meaning "Work sets you free" - as emblazoned on the gates of the Auschwitz concentration camp.

Oops.

We'd just forgotten about the link with the Nazis.

Now wasn't there something about Diesel?

A Bug's Life

This Autoguide article is a fun bit of nonsense.  As a statistician I know that the sums in it are tripe but I think the author would probably agree with me on that.

The author asks, "How Many Punches Has my 18-Year-Old Beetle Inspired?"

Eh?

This is the car in question.

It is a bit yuk but I wouldn't want to punch it.

 

So I started reading the article and it all made sense.  It refers to the Stateside tradition of punching somebody whenever you see a Volkswagen Beetle.  Or "Bug" as they like to call it.

 

It is explained best by The Simpsons: 

I'm sure why a bloke would have a Beetle though, even a Canadian bloke.  You can excuse the colour because his mother would have chosen that when she bought it new.  But anything that amuses me and also gives me an excuse to dig out an old Simpsons clip is OK by me.

Itchycoo Car Park

Want to see an ant in a car?

or maybe two?

Unfortunately, this story relates to a whole colony of ants.

 

Also, unfortunately, I have to link to Fox News.  The story does appear to be true though despite this.

 

The infestation happened at Charlotte Douglas International Airport after the car had been left in the parking lot there for three days.

 

Meanwhile, another bug has also been making news on the Fox site.

 

This one's allegedly up for $1 Million:

Now I wouldn't mind having a colony of those to sell.

Ant-erior Collision

Ant McPartlin was up in Court today after a collision.

He was found guilty of drink-driving.  He was fined £86000 and banned from driving for 20 months.

 

Meanwhile, outside, there was another collision:

Oops!

Embarrassing.

At least Wayne Rooney didn't crash when he was caught drink-driving.

Although that was supposed to be embarrassing because he was driving a car owned by a woman he was having a fling with.

 

I'd have thought the fact it was a VW Beetle would be more embarrassing.

Lego Landie

Pistonheads had this story yesterday about a proposed new Lego model - the Series III Land Rover Defender.

It has been designed by a father and son partnership, Terry & Ben Fisher and looks brilliant.  The detail is very impressive.

 

It looks a lot better than quite a few more famous recent Lego car models such as the Beetle & Porsche 911 but I suspect that that is due to the fact that a Defender is square - like Lego.

 

It needs 10000 votes to go into production and mine was number 5983.

 

It is a slight faff to vote for it because you need a Lego ID but it can be done from here where you will also learn a bit more about it.

 

There have been a few rumours lately that the Defender could be back from the dead and I suspect this isn't what they meant but it'll do for now.

Fair deal?

The Discovery Quest Channel has started showing Wheeler Dealers.

This is excellent news for me - Quest is a Freeview Channel and I am a big fan of the show.

They have started to show the episodes right back from the first series in 2003.

For those of you unfamiliar with the programme, used car dealer Mike Brewer buys a classic car in need of a little attention at a knock-down price.  Then, trusted mechanic Edd China gives the car the attention and finally Mike sells the car on for a profit (if you don't count Edd's labour).

I have heard speculation over the years that all is not what it seems on this show.

I have heard that the people Mike buys the cars off and those he sells them to are production staff from the show.

I have heard that Edd doesn't do any of the work.

This interview from Total Car Magazine implies all is legit.  This is from this year.

This forum post from Wheel Whores implies otherwise.  This is from 2008.

A guy calling himself Pete Nice says he pretended to be the bloke Mike bought a knackered Beetle off -  this would be him:

Indeed, in the episode, this bloke is called Pete.

 

The episode involved converting the Beetle into a Beach Buggy.

 

Whether or not it is the same Pete is open to conjecture but there is something fishy in that episode from Series 2.  The knackered old Beetle had registration number FTD 243J.  That plate appears on the workshop wall behind Edd during that episode: 

However, when the conversion is complete, the finished Beach Buggy sports a completely different registration number - UPW 450H: 

That, to me, implies a completely different, slightly older, base car was used.

 

But never mind.

 

I would have thought, nowadays, if the show wasn't genuine, they would have to declare that bits were fabricated for entertainment purposes.  There are certainly such disclaimers on American Hot-Rod and Classic Car Rescue.

 

However, in 2003 such rules probably didn't exist.

 

Let's just say all is legit today.

 

Deal?

No More Ferrero Rocher?

It could be the end of the road for the Ambassador.

No, not the Austin Ambassador, that ended in the mid '80s.  It looks like it is the end of the road for the Hindustan Ambassador: 

In its original guise as the Morris Oxford, this car has been in production since the late '40s.  The original Morris tooling was sold to the Indian company that has been manufacturing the same car (with a few updates) ever since.  They were particularly popular as taxis.  A look at Google images shows a few have been registerd in the UK too - obviously for people nostalgic about Morris cars of the past.

 

It looks like its age and 1940s design has finally caught up with it though and a couple of sites have the story this weekend of the shutdown of the Hindustan Motors Uttarpara Plant.  The Business Standard of India have it here.  They aren't saying it is the end but they are suspending production (and not paying the workforce) in order to "help the company cut mounting liabilities, restructure its finances and arrive at a situation conducive to reopening the plant".

 

Reasons for the failure are being speculated as "mounting losses, paucity of funds, growing indiscipline and low productivity". 

 

Autoweek also carry the story.  But they seem more interested in speculating about what would be the longest-running car design in production if this really is the end of the Morris/Hindustan motor.  They fail to discuss the merits of The Land-Rover but do mention the Beetle, the Morgan 4/4 and the Lotus/Caterham Seven.

 

Who could be in trouble too.

 

Autoguide say it is up for sale. Tony Fernandes wants to sell his road-car and F1 operations.  That may have more to do though with his football team returning to the English Premier League this weekend. QPR have a sizeable debt and will also need to invest big-time to stay there.

 

At the end of the day, Caterham Sevens will be more attractive than Hindustan Ambassadors so they have a better chance of winning the longevity awards.  Better than Caterham F1 getting any points and better than QPR prospering in the Premier League.

 

If you're wondering about the Ferrero Rocher reference - well they are the Ambassador's balls:

Camped Out

This seems to have been going on for ages.

But it has finally happened.

The last VW Kombi (or original style Camper Van) has rolled off the production line in Brazil.

To mark its demise, VW have produced a fine farewell video called "Last Wishes".

I know it's a bit schmaltzy but it is also quite enjoyable.  I wish I could work out which actress is doing the narration though.  She is obviously British and sounds very familiar.  The official blurb states that the narration is by "the van itself".  Yeah - right.

The video is done from an "I'm about to die" point of view so, to lighten the mood, here is my favourite comedian, Milton Jones, showing us around his VW Camper:

The modern-day equivalent, the VW Transporter is very square - both literally and in the way that the hippies who drove Campers in the 1960's would use the word.  Could VW have not gone down the retro route like they did with the Beetle?  Possibly, they did come up with the Bulli concept a few years back:

Although, that is a bit smaller and a bit more electric.

 

You may wonder how Australian travellers are now going to get around Europe.

 

Well, given the average age of the Campers being used by them today, I think they will just carry on running and running.

 

No worries.  No flowers.

 

Apart from in your hair.

Lashed

It looks like the stick people stickers I posted about on Tuesday are quite prevalent and embarassing Stateside.  American Insurance site, carinsurance.com, have produced this article on embarassing cars, car colours and accessories.  Sorry, as they are American, that should read "colors".

Unfortunately, they chose the top 12 cars for their survey rather than just opening it up to the public and this is the list after the votes were counted:

1. Smart Fortwo (7.6)
2. Nissan Cube (3.6)
3. Hummer H2 (3.5)
4. Chevrolet SSR (2.1)
5. Volkswagen New Beetle (1.9)
6. Subaru Baja (1.6)
7. Lincoln Town Car (1.6)
8. Pontiac Aztek (1.4)
9. Chrysler PT Cruiser (1.0)
10. Honda Element (0.9)
11. Chevrolet HHR (0.7)
12. Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet (0.3)

The numbers in brackets are the cars "Cringe scores" so I really don't think the bottom three should be in the list at all. The Smart scored badly, rather unfairly, due to a preception that it is "not safe".  At least the reason for the Lincoln Town Car & Chrysler PT Cruiser was they are "too Grandpa" - "ha ha!" says the Jaguar driver.

 

The Americans should be lucky they never had the Fiat Multipla or the car I was once subjected to, the Mercedes Vaneo.

 

The accessories list is much more cut-and-dried:

 

Headlight eyelashes	34%
Bumper sticker for a candidate who lost	18%
Fast and Furious-style spoilers and wings	15%
‘My child is an honor student’ bumper sticker	13%
Stick-figure family decals	13%

 

I really hate the headlight eye-lashes.

Why?

 

 

Fox News also had the story.  Apart from getting the accessories in the wrong order, they also express surpise at no mention of "truck nuts" - something I was aware of and hate nearly as much as the lashes and also no mention of unicorn antenna balls - something I wasn't aware of and was pleased not to be aware of.  Check this out for a cringe.

 

 

Again, why?

 

Bond Villain

My story last month about Roger Moore didn't really have much to do with James Bond but this one does actually involve Steven Berkoff who played General Orlov in Octopussy alongside Roger Moore.

Now, being a Daily Mail story, they do enjoy a misleading headline.

For example: Pay and dismay: Mercedes left marooned after builders excavate station car park around it

No it wasn't, the story here clearly states that the builders left an escape ramp.

Another good example: Mystery solved! Elizabeth Hurley's car found covered in parking tickets after reports it was stolen during shopping trip

No it wasn't - it had three on it. Story here. Nearly another James Bond connection though - she was a star of Austin Powers which is a very entertaining JB spoof.

Anyway, the misleading Berkoff headline is James Bond villain Steven Berkoff, 75, banned from the road for jumping red light when he heard police sirens

He wasn't. He lost his licence for getting 12 penalty points on it. He also rather naughtily tried to declare his Californian driving licence number but that didn't work.

He claimed he moved through the red lights to get out of the way of an emergency vehicle. Seems like a reasonable thing to do, although he did it at 27mph!

It did get me thinking about what I would do if waiting at traffic lights and an emergency vehicle came up behind with its sirens blaring and lights flashing. What is the correct thing to do?

Well, thank you to Jerry from Lincolnshire who taught me something when he added the following comment to the Mail article, "It is absolutely never the right thing to do to pass a red light in these circumstances. It is absolutely not a defence to the crime of passing a red light to say you moved to allow a blue light vehicle to pass. If you do pass a red light and get prosecuted any compentent lawyer will advise you to plead guilty and try to minimse the sentce through mitigation. Emergncy vehicle drivers are trained that if they are behind a vehicle stopped at a red light they MUST wait for the light to go green before they can expect the vehicle in front to move. They are also supposed to turn off any siren until the light change but can keep blue lights on."

What he says is backed up here so I gave his comment a green up-arrow.


Now, basically, Berkoff jumped a red light at nearly 30mph, pretended he didn't have a British driving licence and claimed he was making way for an emergency vehicle. Worse than that, he was driving a Beetle.

General Orlov would not have been impressed.

I Don't Want a Porsche

If you were offering to give me one, I wouldn't say no. And I don't dislike Porsches - in fact I quite like some of them. In fact I quite like a lot of them.

But I've never really wanted one.

I've always been a bit scared of the 911 with its engine-sticking-out-the-back-which-really-screws-with-the-handling design which was fine for the Beetle but dodgy for anything that can achieve motorway speeds. Now I know that Porsche have added loads of stability trickery and suspension cleverness over the last 150 years that the 911 has been evolving and it is allegedly a lot tamer and safer to drive nowadays but why not just move the engine?

I have never liked the Boxster - it looks like two fronts of the same car welded back-to-back. Especially the early ones - especially with the hood up.

Yuk!

The Cayenne is just an SUV with a 911 front and the Panamera looks like a 911 stretched-limo.

So, if I was forced to pick - I'd go for the Cayman - the halfway-house between the Boxster and the 911. It looks good - it looks fun - and the engine is in a sensible mid position.

Top Gear Magazine and most of the motoring websites have been making a fuss of the new 2014 (what happened to 2013!?) Cayman as presented at the LA Auto Show lately. Here's the story from my favourite site. It includes a video presented by a Loyd Grossman soundalike.

OK, so maybe, just maybe, I nearly want a Porsche.

A Family Affair

Caught this rather nice article in the online Telegraph this week. It came with this very cheesy photo:

It's about BTCC driver (and reigning champion) Matt Neal teaching his twin sons, Will & Harry, to drive now that they have turned 17.

William and Harry!!

I hadn't though of him being a Royalist. I also hadn't thought of him as being old enough to have kids old enough to drive. He's only about my age!

His sons will have an excellent teacher and it looks like he is trying to keep their feet on the ground including some professional lessons as well. I'm not as sure of the car choices though, a sporty Corsa and an old Beetle with no seatbelts. The former will cost a fortune to insure and the latter has no seatbelts.

I've not mentioned the BTCC much this year - but I haven't missed a race and they have been just as exciting as every recent season. I've not watched any f1 meanwhile and am not missing it in the slightest.

The BTCC last weekend was at Rockingham and much rain caused much sliding off but there were no major disputes - unlike last year when this excellent picture was taken:

I don't usually credit the pictures I find on the 'Net but this is worth a link and a mention of Life Exposed Photography as this picture perfectly captures Matt in full-on anger mode where no other picture of the incident I've found does.

Here, Matt is launching himself at Jason Plato after a serious shunt in qualifying. Good! - we like some passion in our racing drivers. Jason is wisely keeping his helmet on given that Matt practises martial arts and is considerably bigger than him. Meanwhile, their dads are in the picture trying to make sure it doesn't get any worse.

A very un-cheesy photo - but, then again, racing-driver Matt Neal will be nothing like family-man Matt Neal - I hope! And it looks like it is family-man Matt Neal that Wills & Harry have as their driving instuctor.

New New Beetle

Although they are dropping the "New" tag so now it's just a Beetle. This is being shown at the Shanghai Motor Show and various sites have picked up on it including Car&Driver, Autocar and What Car?

At first glance, the daytime running lights are quite distinctive.

At second glance, I've posted the wrong picture, here's the real one...Similar, isn't it?

At third glance, it looks just like the old one - that is to say the New Beetle as opposed to the old Beetle and the New New Beetle.

At fourth glance, it is a bit wider and lower and does look a bit less girly. The interior is less inferior - they've done away with the stupid flower vase and generally improved the look of the equipment.They have added more body-colour painted surfaces though which I don't like - it always makes me think of low-spec cars from the 1960s and '70s - I always thought the 1990s Fiat Coupe dashboard looked wrong and I don't care for the Nissan Juke for the same reason.

The question is, are these any better than the original, old Beetles?