Thursday, 1 December 2016

Flat Out

...which is something you can't be when there are sleeping policemen around.
And when I say "sleeping policemen" - I mean speed humps and speed bumps.

This is the type I encounter the most:
Having a decent sized car, I can generally straddle the bump with minimal disturbance.

So I don't tend to slow down so I don't cause extra pollution.

Aren't I a good citizen?

The BBC are carrying this story today about how Councils are being urged to redesign their humps and bumps to reduce the extra pollution they are causing.

Nobody is actually saying how though.  Surely the pollution problem is due to people driving slower then quicker then slower again?

But isn't the whole point of the speed bumps to get people driving slower?

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) said "smooth" driving would cut air pollution, linked to 25,000 deaths a year in England. 507 pedestrians or cyclists were killed in the whole of Britain's roads in 2013 so the removal of speed bumps must be a no-brainer!  Amazing what you can prove with statistics.

I'd rather that the Councils spent their speed bump budgets on fixing pot-holes - that way, money would be going on preventing further damage to car suspension rather than causing it.

Meanwhile, I don't believe that this is an undoctored picture:

Saturday, 19 November 2016

The Countdown Is Over

Carol Vorderman is dead.

Actually, she's very much alive and rocking it in the jungle and planning a round-the-world solo airplane trip.
She just pretended to be dead in the opening show of the opening series of

THE GRAND TOUR!

As did a couple of actors who I wasn't sure who they were.  I didn't recognise them and Jeremy mumbled their names but I'm glad we didn't have quarter of an hour listening to them talking about their latest projects.

So what did the BBC think of the show?

They just told us what the critics thought of the show.

So what did the critics think of the show?

They really liked it.  They described it as "filmic" which I don't reckon is a word.  Perhaps I could ask Countdown's Susie Dent.
I wish.

So what did I think of the show?

I thought the opening sequence went on a bit long - but I suppose that added tension and expectation and the show did last 70 minutes to make up for that.

I didn't see the point of the fight sequence - could have done without that.

Not sure about the new "Stig" - I think he may be a Trump supporter.

And I thought overall that the whole thing was...

...brilliant!!

Much as I like LeBlanc, Harris & Reid, the chemistry between Clarkson, Hammond & May is unparallelled (is that spelled correctly, Susie?)  I think the BBC need to rethink Top Gear now, admit defeat, and turn it back into a car show.

With a bit of careful juggling of free trials and having a couple of weeks break in the middle of the 12 episodes, I could possibly see the lot for free - but worst-case scenario is it costs me £11.98 - a price I'm willing to pay.  I've sorted the numbers so it's no conundrum. (more Countdown references in case you've no idea who Vorderman is)

Thursday, 17 November 2016

A Posher Version of Poundland

In Poundland, everything costs a quid.
So, presumably in Grandland, everything costs £1000.

Which is excellent value for a large SUV.

And mustn't be confused with Granadaland - which is where ITV used to tell us that we lived if we happened to reside in the North-West of England.

Or Grandstand - which where the BBC used to show us Rallycross on a Saturday afternoon.

Here is the latest press release from Vauxhall.
They don't say so, but it looks like the Zafira is on its way out.

And the Meriva is going to be replaced by the Crossland X.

And the Mokka is going to be replaced by the Mokka X.

They don't say why they are putting kisses after the names.

Maybe it's to help sell the Vauxhall Insignia SE to the dogging community.

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

Musical Cars

I often see this car on the M53 Motorway on my journey to work:
Well, maybe not that actual car - because the one I see has number plates and (I hope) is road-legal and it isn't being driven by Andrew Jordan.  But it does look the same - including the full livery, the Jordan stickers and the roll-cage.

I guess it has something to do with Pirtek, the main sponsor, having a site at Ellesmere Port - a place that, if you pronounce it with the right accent, may sound like a beach resort somewhere exotic (like Jordan for example) but, in fact, isn't.

Anyway, Andrew is in the news today - BTCC News that is.

He has switched team.

Again.

I first noticed him in 2011, when he was in his very early twenties and having his first taste of success.

Since then, he won the whole British Touring Car Championship in 2013 - which is why the car above is carrying the Number 1.

He wasn't as successful in 2014 so, for 2015, he switched to the cars run by Triple Eight Racing who had previously had great success with Vauxhalls but were then running MGs without much success.

So, in 2016 he switched team - just as the MGs improved.  He was now with Motorbase as Mat Jackson's team-mate in Ford Focus STs.  I add the "ST" to avoid having to use the plural of "Focus".  He finished eighth overall (in a tightly contested contest) and won the Independent Drivers Title so was in a strong car that he had got more and more used to during the year.

So now he's moving to West Surrey Racing and their BMWs.

I refer you back to my first ever post on this Blog.

Wednesday, 2 November 2016

Admiral Not Being Admirable

This what a female admiral looks like:
Her name is Michelle J Howard.

This what an actress playing an admiral looks like:
Her name appears to be Lucy Barker.  She appears in the annoying adverts for Admiral Insurance.

I suppose their logo could be interpreted as male or female since I'm sure most Navys would insist on the hair being concealed under the hat:

But it can't just be that which makes our Admiral admiral look unbelieveable.

Unfortunately, this isn't the only piece of nonsense produced by them lately.

We also have Admiral First Car Quote!

Which supposedly links your Facebook profile to your car insurance quote so work out what sort of driver you will be.

By the way, here's my new Facebook Profile picture:

My hobbies involve driving slowly on Sundays and good car maintenance.
Facebook do not like this idea - and, as a lot of news outlets (including the BBC) are saying, they have blocked it.  I don't blame them.

Admiral's Q&A on their website has an interesting question and answer today:
 I hope they're not too embarrassed by all this.
(In case you are not a lepidopterist, that's a Red Admiral)