Monday, 7 August 2017

New Moaner

More of an "old moaner" actually.

But a very funny one.

He's recently put this on Instagram:
I refer, of course, to Jeremy Clarkson who in turn refers to James May in the photo.

If you can't see the text, it says "The only functioning member of the Grand Tour right now.  God help us."

Jeremy has somehow managed to contract pneumonia in Majorca.  Story Here.  New Moaner - pneumonia - geddit?  Never mind.

Meanwhile, Richard Hammond is still recovering from doing this to an electric supercar:
This may mean that the first couple of episodes of the new series of The Grand Tour may involve some slow driving in a Fiat Panda and the dismantling and remantling of a 1970s Goblin Teasmade.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

What Do You Call Your Nose Injury?

I only ask because Autoguide say that an unfortunate man in Birmingham has an unnamed nose injury.

Their story is here.

They refer to the Birmingham Mail as their source and the story does indeed exist, and probably originate, from there but their Website, like all the British local newspaper ones that are part of the same group, is so irritating with ads and videos that I'll not bother linking to it.

It does, however, include the excellent line:

"Ward End Fire later tweeted pictures of the wrecked convertible which had come to rest in front of bricks, wonky lamppost, rotting bread and a wheelie bin."

So what are they talking about?

This:
Somebody has rented and crashed a Lamborghini Huracan Spyder.
 
Oops.
 
All we know is it was a 25-year old man and he has a sore nose.
 
But then, so does that Huracan.
 
It was on a Trading estate - somewhere that may be a bit quieter with wide roads as used by large commercial vehicles.
 
It was somewhere you might choose to go if you wanted to razz about at high speed in a 200mph supercar.
 
Can't imagine what could have caused this accident.

Friday, 28 July 2017

Government Powers - Off The Grid

This rather disturbing picture has been appearing on the Telegraph and the BBC News Websites a fair bit this week:
It is because the news broke that the Government is banning all petrol and diesel vehicles in 2040.
 
Except they aren't.
 
What they want to do is ban the SALES of all NEW petrol and diesel vehicles in 2040.
 
Like France do.
 
There may even be a clause allowing hybrids - like the Volvo story from last month.
 
And, given that this Government may not see the year out and that 2040 is 23 YEARS AWAY, I wouldn't be putting that dodgy pipe on my news website just yet.
 
It must be a library photo.  Here is another motoring-related library photo:
Meanwhile, Stateside, where they don't believe in climate change, they are still doing their bit for electric vehicles. Here is a story from Autoguide about a new all-electric ‘Sport Utility Truck’ from a  company I've never heard of before - Bollinger Motors - as in the champagne.  Meet the B1:
At first I thought it looked like the love-child of a Jeep Cherokee and a Land-Rover Defender.
 
And then I worked it out: 

Friday, 21 July 2017

Severn For Free

743 is a prime number.  Severn for free is what motorists will get to cross in 2018.

2018 is not a prime number.

I have driven across the Severn Bridge several times over the years but never paid the toll - because every time I've done it, I've travelled W to E.
That's West to East

or Wales to England - either apply - spooky eh?

You only have to pay the toll if you are travelling into Wales.  English people say you have to pay to get into Wales.  Welsh people say you have to pay to get out of England.

The exception is Welsh comedian Rob Brydon who says that once you pay to get into Wales, all of the rides are free.

Towards the end of next year, he won't be able to use that joke any more.

Because they are going to start charging for the rides.

Actually, they are scrapping the tolls.  The BBC report it here.  Hopefully good news for the Welsh economy.  But not the people who staff the toll booths.

Meanwhile, in Wales, a student (presumably Chinese although it doesn't actually say so here) has left his Citroen on an unfortunate couple's drive while he's flown out there for a bit.
He's left them the car and a cactus to look after.

There's no keys.  They can't move it.  They are also concerned that it's parked over a manhole - not sure that is much of a problem - I can't recall ever needing to get at the manhole on my drive.

He has promised to bring them back a present.  It had better be a good one or they should tell him where to stuff it.  Or the cactus.

Friday, 14 July 2017

Slippery Road Ahead

There's something fishy in the state of Oregon.
 
And it's all over the road.
 
A number of hagfish - aka slime eels - because they have a habit of producing lots of the stuff when stressed - have been involved in a road accident.  According to the Police, the driver, Salvatore Tragale, who is not a hagfish, approached roadworks and tried to stop.  One container flew off the truck bed and into the southbound lane, while the other containers spilled onto the highway.  The flying container hit one vehicle which then caused it and four other vehicles to be pushed into each other. There were no serious injuries to the humans involved.  Not too sure of the fate of the fish but their prospects were not good anyway as they were en route to becoming South Korean meals. 
The story is here - I found it on the Australian ABC News site although plenty of other news outlets closer to Oregon also had it.
 
As for Salvatore - e'll have to be more careful next time.