I Don't Like The Tesla Cybertruck

No really - I think it looks stupid.

So why is this my third posting on the subject in under a week?

Probably because the World of motoring journalism keeps talking about it.

Twitter & Car+Driver, I'm looking at you.

Or maybe, more specifically, Car+Driver picking up on tweets.

Here's their story on the Dubai Police ordering one.

But the Dubai Police are all show-offs.

 

Here is the funnier and altogether more satisfying story of Lego taking the Mickey: 

It's better looking, it's windows won't shatter and it could go on sale well before the end of 2020.

What The Truck!?

Two days ago, I posted about the new Tesla Cybertruck:

I also mentioned how Elon got a bit embarrassed at the launch when its supposedly shatter-proof windows shattered.

 

Well, according to the BBC, that hasn't put off nearly 150000 people from ordering one.

 

Earliest speculation for the first deliveries are pointing at the end of 2021.  Ha "pointing" - see what I did there?

 

And am I alone in thinking it won't look anything like what has been shown so far?

 

The A-Pillars mean you won't be able to see around corners at junctions.

 

And the pointy bits are a pedestrian health-and-safety nightmare.

 

And what's with the name "Cybertruck" - is it because of the success of the Jeep Cyberman? 

Little Doctor Who reference for you there.

 

Meanwhile, the Cybertruck is claimed to have “ultra-hard 30X cold-rolled stainless steel” said to be bulletproof for up to 9mm rounds.  Well it is going on sale in America.

 

The Cybertruck comes in three motor configurations, rear-wheel drive, 4-wheel drive and top of the range, triple-motored "Plaid".  Don't know what the third motor does or how they are pronouncing "plaid".  Is it plad as in what we would call tartan and what is usually a euphemism for boring?

 

Or is it plied as in the Welsh world for party (political not fancy-dress).

 

Talking of 4x4s and politics:

La-la Land

It's the Los Angeles Motor Show!

And Elon Musk has revealed the Tesla Cybertruck:

Angular, isn't it?

 

Autocar have the full story and a few more pictures.  It has heavy hints of...

• DeLorean DMC-12
• Top Gear Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust
• Lego
• Tin Bath
• Mad Max Movies

Here's one of their photos - they all look like vapour-ware: 

There is one real one though - here it is embarrassing Elon Musk:

I Don't Like Being a Grown-Up

Actually, I do like being a grown-up.

It's just that, every so often, something like this comes along:

And it's remote-control!

I Don't Like Pumas

Actually I DO like pumas.

I just don't like Ford Pumas.

Actually I DO like Ford Pumas.

It's just the new ones I don't like:

I also don't like Vauxhall Mokkas and Ford Ecosports and all the other jacked-up cars that sell in their millions to people who don't know about cars or, more importantly, about driving.

 

And the new Puma is an insult to the old one: 

That was a Fiesta-based affordable-ish, sporty-ish car that appealed to those who wanted a bit of fun and didn't have a few kids to ferry about.

 

A bit like The Mustang in America.

 

Or its equivalent over here, the Ford Capri:

Which is why this Autocar story perturbs me.

 

Amko Leenarts, boss of the Ford European Design Centre is quoted as saying, “Who would not want to bring back the Capri as a design?  We’d love it. But it’s got to be in the zeitgeist and has to fit, and work as a plural, not just exist as something for a designer to bring back an old car.”

 

Work as a plural!?

 

Does that mean they want to make more than one of them?

 

Ford tried a couple of times to revive "the zeitgeist" of The Capri, first with the very attractive Probe...

...which is not a phrase you want to be overheard repeating.

 

then with The Puma's bigger brother, The Cougar:

But given what they did to the Puma, Autocar's X6-shaped grotesque guess could be worryingly close to the truth:



It's enough to make you very angry: