Return of the Grand Tour!

Just with three different blokes:

Haven't a clue who they are but they seem far too young.

That will be the reaction of most Grand Tour fans I imagine.

It was certainly my first thought.

Jeremy has done an "amusing" little sketch for The socials where he is choosing them: 

So I suppose I'd better find out who they are.

Thomas Holland appears to be Spiderman.

I may have the wrong person.

There's a racing driver called Thomas Holland - it must be him - I approve of racing drivers becoming TV motoring presenters - like Tiff Needell, Jason Plato and of course, Vicki Butler-Henderson. Only trouble is, Thomas Holland the racing driver doesn't look like any of the blokes in that photo.

OK, a bit more digging.  Thomas and second new presenter James Engelsman are successful motoring Youtubers with a channel called Throttlehouse.

I'd never heard of it but they have 3.36 million subscribers so must be doing something right.  I approve.

Although I'd have probably gone with the Youtube presenters I watch - Ian from Hubnut, Ed from Twincam and Ryan from Yorkshire Car Restorations. I'd love to see how those three would get along.

The third presenter, who I have also never heard of, is "viral train enthusiast Francis Bourgeois."

They nearly had me. 

Classic!

This weekend just gone I visited the Lancaster Insurance Classic Motor Show at The NEC in Birmingham.

What did I think?

Well, since you ask, I'll tell you.

The free show guide was most excellent - even came in its own carrier bag!

I got close to Mike Brewer and Tiff Needell which was nice.

And to Will & Gus from Flipping Bangers and to a couple of my favourite YouTubers.

And to Frank Stephenson - apparently pronounced Steffanson - not to be confused with Steph Fromidriveaclassic - one of the aforementioned YouTubers.  I didn't realise until he started talking that I actually knew who he was - in as much as he has a regular column in Top Gear Magazine critiquing modern car designs.  He revealed some secrets about his design work on the Mini One - check out how the exhaust pipe is the same as a Budweiser can.

There were loads of Triumph Dolomites there:

BUT THEY WERE ALL SPRINTS!

Some of us owned 1500HL Dolomites.  They did have a few Triumph 1300s and a 1500 too though.

They also had some famous cars like The Sweeney Granada:

The Saint's Volvo:

And Richard Hammond's Oliver:

They had an F40:

And also whatever this is:

The food was crap - and overpriced - but that's the fault of the NEC - should have used the various vans there.

Loved the day - would recommend it to any petrol-head - and even non-petrol-heads - the two I went with enjoyed it too.

It was classic.

Where are they now?

During a recent conversation in the pub and a quick search on The Internet, I found out that a couple of showjumpers I used to watch on The Horse of The Year Show back in my distant youth are still alive.  David Broome and Harvey Smith are both in their mid-eighties.

The conversation diverged and I looked up former Top Gear presenter William Woollard.

He is also alive and in his mid-eighties.

Although, if you believe his Wikipedia page (and it isn't convinced itself), he was looking extremely frail 14 years ago.

So, what about the other former TG presenters?

It may be a false memory, but I think I can remember Angela Rippon presenting it - I am more certain about remembering Noel Edmonds.

Angela has, rather disappointingly had a stint on GB News alongside drunk-driver (and definitely NOT a TG presenter) Alistair Stewart.

She now does an advert alongside a Albert Einstein impersonator - not sure what it is for but it's got something to do with energy.

Of this lot, Tiff Needell and Chris Goffey have both appeared recentlyish on a couple of my favourite YouTube Channels (Late Brake Show and idriveaclassic respectively) looking a lot older but still going strong.  Meanwhile, Steve Berry has just started up is own channel - Steve Berry's Big in the Nineties.

In it, he gets angry every week and mentions that he used to present Top Gear and drives a car from that decade in a very entertaining package.

He also appears to be turning into Bob Mortimer - especially in the Audi A6 C5 Avant episode where he compounds it by attempting a North-East accent.

I have liked and subscribed.

Paddy, who I DO REALLY LIKE JUST NOT PRESENTING TOP GEAR OR QUESTION OF SPORT, was on Who Do You Think You Are? last week - that was enjoyable and he found out his ancestry was Irish - who would have thought that?

Next Thursday also sees the return of Vicki & Rory in Fifth Gear on Quest and the return of Jeremy, James & Richard in the last ever Grand Tour on Amazon Prime.

Shame it has to end.

We don't know if Top Gear TV has ended but we do know who the general public (as opposed to the car-fanatical public) remember the most.

I'd Like a Big Knob I Can Twist

No, I haven't left my laptop unattended with a juvenile person around.

It is a quote of the lovely Vicki Butler-Henderson in this trailer video:

Despite what a lot of the commenters on the YouTube site say, I am looking forward to this.

Why not have an electric version of Fifth Gear?  It's not like they are saying they won't go back to the old style again - although it may become moot in the future.

Shame no Tiff in this - many of the disgruntled commenters are lamenting that too - but the addition of Rory Reid should be good - and Fifth Gear always was designed as the place for presenters who Top Gear thought they didn't need any more.

Another good thing about this is that I only have to wait one week longer to see it on Quest after the less stingy people have watched it on Discovery.

I'll just end by saying that if Vicki wants an innuendo - I'd be more than happy to give her one.

Pointless

There is something wrong with the British public.

Actually, we already knew that - Boris Johnson and Brexit prove that.

But they seem ignorant on important matters too.

There must also be something wrong with Top Gear.

I've just been watching Pointless.  They had a round on Top Gear presenters - 16 photos and the contestants had to identify the presenters in the photos.

Obviously I knew them all so I decided to go with Jon Bentley - I figured he was a shoe-in to be a pointless answer.

Here are the results straight from the TV on my bedroom wall:

Two members of the British public knew who Jon Bentley is.

Two also knew who Sabine Schmitz is.

BUT ONLY ONE KNOWS WHO CHRIS HARRIS IS!

And nobody knows who Vicki Butler-Henderson is!

Crazy!

Jeremy was top scorer and those famous for other things all scored highly too.

I'm not convinced that when Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, said that Top Gear was Kate Humble's big break in TV, that he was right.  I seem to remember her already being famous and her joining Top Gear and me thinking that she was a poor choice since she seemed to know bugger all about cars and driving - how history repeats itself.

And then Richard Osman pointed out that Tiff Needell ought to be Tiffany Dell and Alexander Armstrong asked him what Tiff was short for - Richard Osman, the man with all the answers, got it wrong.

He needs to read my blog.

The History of Gears

Fifth Gear is now on ITV4.

It came as a bit of a shock to me when I spotted it in The Radio Times a few weeks ago.  Especially as I had just been catching up on the repeats of the Discovery Channel episodes which were being shown on Quest - as I predicted when I found out they were going to Discovery back in September 2012.

I'm not sure why they moved from Discovery but I suspect the answer could lie in a quote from this article in BroadcastNow.co.uk from September 2014 which quotes the chief exec of North One TV (who make the show) that "establishing free-to-air distribution for the show was also vital because the additional viewing figures helped secure the backing of car manufacturers for the series."  As it is, The History Channel get the first airing of the shows but then ITV4 get them half-a-year or more later..

Maybe that is why the Twitter account of Tiff Needell (or Tiffany Dell) uses a historical picture when he tells us the news:

Or is that Barry Sheene?

Maybe they were struggling a bit with lower viewing figures resulting from going over to the dark side.

I could have told them that - I mean, don't get me started on F1!

Why not?

I SAID DON'T GET ME STARTED ON F1!!

Apologies if you've just spent ages reading that rant.  Back to the story or history of Gears.  I've just started to get back in to Fifth Gear after a three year absence.  Vicki seems to be pregnant again and Jason Plato has disappeared again although they are borrowing Karun Chandok who seems to be doing a good job in his place.

At this point I started explaining to one of my sons where Fifth Gear actually came from.  About how BBC2 decided they had had enough of Top Gear (one of their highest rating shows - albeit more about cars and motoring than entertainment) so decommissioned it.  And how the Top Gear team went over to Channel 5 but The Beeb wouldn't let them take the name with them so they called it Fifth Gear.  Then The Beeb realised the error of their ways and got former host Jeremy Clarkson in to front a new version which is what we are more familiar with now.

This prompted me to get onto YouTube and find some old 1980s and 1990s Top Gear episodes which is something I do from time to time at the slightest excuse.  It is difficult to comprehend just how posh Jeremy was in those days - entertaining on a different level.  And nice to see William Woollard again.

Anyway, here is a timeline as I see it right now - with Fifth Gear strewn over five channels.

Somehow, even though it will be on Pay TV, I don't think Clarkson, May & Hammond (or whatever it will be called) will have problems with "securing the backing of car manufacturers for the series."

Not that I'll be watching it until it turns up on YouTube or Dave or wherever it is free.

Meanwhile, I will be definitely be watching with interest Chris Evans presenting an all-newer Top Gear.

That will be the future of Gears.

TFI Top Gear

Remember where you heard it first - BBC News.  But I got it off them soon after.

Last Friday, after much advertising, Chris Evans resurrected TFI Friday for one last bash. On Saturday, The Telegraph did an article on how people didn't like the excessive car stuff in it.  In fact, they claimed "Audiences turned off by Chris Evans' lengthy Top Gear audition".

Hmm.  Interesting.

Especially since, on more than one occasion on his breakfast show, Chris has ruled himself out of that job.

Besides, according to the Guardian yesterday, he would like to ressurrect TFI as a full series.

But that would be very impactful on his other commitments - his Radio 2 breakfast show and his Friday evening edition of The One Show.

I never really watched TFI Friday - the only five minutes of it I ever saw were a sort of mock poetry competition where a pretty girl was allowed to read out her poem then when a young lad tried to read out his, they had some guy come up behind him sticking his arm between the young lad's legs to put him off in "an amusing way".

I also didn't watch last Friday's show but apparently I would have enjoyed it for the same reason the Telegraph readers didn't.  Jeremy was on it - so was Jason Plato - so was The Ferrari LaFerrari and the Top Gear Test Track.

And now they've given the Top Gear gig to Chris.

Maybe it was that or he joins Channel 4 and TFI leaving them with a hole in the One Show and possibly a bigger hole at breakfast time on Radio 2.

Or maybe he'll do TFI as well.

Evans overload.  Evans above.

No news yet on his co-presenters.  The Express were at least 33% wrong with their story on the new line-up.  Whereas I go with my suggestion of Jason Plato to join Chris:

I

I think that could work.  I don't know if Fifth Gear is still going since I don't have Discovery but I'm sure he could be prised away.

Actually - forget Chris - bring in Tiff, Vicki and Jason then Fifth Gear would need three presenters.

I know of three motoring show presenters looking for work.

Driven to Drink

Is it really 10 years since Alastair Stewart was sacked as presenter of Police Camera Action after being caught drink-driving?

Yes.

Nobody should drink-drive - but most people convicted will quietly go to Court, get fined and banned and quietly go away without anyone really noticing.

Some people though, like Alistair, may just attract a bit of attention.

The woman in this story for example.  She is a lawyer, who, according to her own firm's Website, "has a vast knowledge in relation to the offence of Drink Driving. She has won many cases using the many procedural defences available that can arise if the police fail to deal with clients at the roadside and/or in the police station correctly."  I've cut-and-pasted that directly from the site because I wouldn't be surprised if they change that bit soon.

Maybe she should have defended herself.

Or paid for this bloke.  Yes, I know that's a Wikipedia link but, today at least, everything seems to check out in it.  Nick Freeman - aka Mr.Loophole ("Mr Whiplash" would be funnier) is fairly famous for getting celebrities (including Jeremy Clarkson & Tiff Needell) cleared of motoring offences - often on technicalities.  I'm put off lawyers at the best of times - possibly because of the annoying multitude of injury lawyer adverts encouraging people to sue for the stupidest of things - there's one where a workman says "my company gave me the wrong sort of ladder" - well you should know the difference you moron.  I also object to my motor insurance premium increasing to pay for fictitious whiplash claims - I could have made one myself last year when I was rear-ended but I won't because I'm basically honest.

So, what's the moral of all this?

Don't drink and drive.

Unless you're somewhere safe and outside the jurisdiction of the law.

Cheers!

Tiffany Dell

Who!?

Oh, you mean Tiff Needell!

When he first appeared on Top Gear many moons ago, I thought they were calling him Tiffany Dell.

Today, I have learned that his name is actually Timothy!

He doesn't look like a Timothy.

The more disturbing news is how I found out that his hame is Timothy - it's on the Discovery Channel UK Website under "Meet the Team" for the new series of Fifth Gear!

Whilst looking on the MSN Cars site today I found a preview for the new series of Fifth Gear.

And yet Channel 5 have been plugging a new series with this photo:When they put up that photo and the news of the return of Fifth Gear, I guess they didn't realise that Discovery UK had done a deal and would actually be showing it.

It is disappointing for me - it means that it has gone over to pay-TV like f1 did so I won't be watching it - at least not until they start showing repeats of it on Quest or Dave or, dare I say it, Channel 5!?

And should it be called "Fifth Gear" now? They called it Fifth Gear when it evolved from Top Gear and moved to Channel 5. Now it's moved to Discovery it should be called "Searching for a Gear" or "Finding the Right Gear" something to do with discovery anyway.

The good news is the return to Fifth Gear of Jason Plato - if that's his real name.

Vicki's Take on Top Gear vs Fifth Gear

Back in June 2010, I posed the question "What's best, Top Gear or Fifth Gear?"Well, I found an article written by the lovely Vicki Butler-Henderson that appeared at the end of last month on the MSN cars website where she debates the same thing.

I was beginning to think that this was a moot argument because the Fifth Gear website had not been touched since February 1st with a car news item on the Ford B-Max. Now I know things motoring newsy have happened since then so I was worried that Fifth Gear might have been no more - it was threatened with extinction a few years back so I guess there is always a chance of decomissioning.

But today, the Fifth Gear News site points at a picture of Tiff and Jason and states that a new series is coming. There's nothing in the Radio Times about it but I guess we're not having to wait too long because Vicki in her article says that they are filming it. Still a bit of doubt as to whether or not Jason will actually be part of it - he must be quite busy now with his BTCC commitments.

Whether he is present or not, Vicki's conclusion is one I have to go with - and not a million miles from what I came up with back in 2010 - both shows are good - both shows are different - and long may both continue.

Now, what's best, Top Gear or Top Gear USA?