Own Goal

 This guy (click here) must have been desperate.

Imagine Pretending to be an Everton footballer!

Pet Patent Pending

Ford do like to come up with interesting patents.

A couple of weeks ago, Fox reported on a Ford patent which involved using in-car drones to spy on autonomous hire-cars.  The idea is to hide an inspection drone in the boot or glove compartment that would be deployed between rides to get a look at the vehicle.

I'd be tempted to lock the glove box.

Today, Car+Driver are reporting that Ford will have a "Pet Mode" - this would be similar to the Tesla version I reported on back in January 2020.

The full patent application is here.

It seems to be controlled by the car key fob.  Surely a mobile phone app would be a better option - otherwise, given all the options available, it could end up looking like this:

The fob instructs a selected group of the systems under the control of the car computer to operate in a specified manner so as to create a comfortable environment for a pet within the vehicle.

"For example, in pet mode, the vehicle computer may cause one or more windows to lower, the sunroof to open the trunk lift gate to pivot open, and the seat backs of one or more rows of seats to tilt or fold down."

I wonder if it will check as to whether or not the pet is under that row of seats at the time.

Apparently it can also check whether or not the pet is inside or outside of the vehicle which is presumably quite useful just after the trunk lift gate has pivoted open.

You will have observed that the pet in question - item 106 in figure 5 - is a dog.  I can't think of any other pet that might be left in a car but they couldn't call it "Dog Mode" for two reasons:

1. Tesla have already got that one.
2. People in Britain would expect the car to take them to secluded car parks.

Not Aloud

Interesting story from Car+Driver today about New Yorkers with loud cars getting letters like this...

They are signed by Mark Page Jr, Acting Director at New York City Department of Environmental Protection.  I looked him up but the only photos I could find were of a completely different Mark Page who made the news last year for altogether different reasons.

The wording of the letter is:

I am writing to you because your vehicle has been identified as having a muffler that is not in compliance with Section 386 of the Vehicle and Traffic Law, which prohibits excessive noise from motor vehicles. Your vehicle was recorded by a camera that takes a pictures of the vehicle and the license plate. In addition, a sound meter records the decibel level as the vehicle approaches and passes the camera.

Cameras and microphones working together.

The unfortunate (or deserving - it depends on your point of view) recipient has to go along to a wastewater treatment plant (sewage works) to have their volume measured and, if necessary, get their vehicle quietened down a bit.

I bet there are a load of letters issued on July 4th.

Reading this has given me an urge.

I want to go along to where one of these cameras exists.  I would have a boombox with me.

Which I would switch on at full volume every time a Tesla drives by.

Czech Booked

Well not yet but it is possibly going to happen.

And what an aptly named Czech he is.

Radim PASSER.

Because he does some very high-speed passing in this video he made:

The passing bits do look quite spectacular.  Depending on your sources, he is the third richest person in the Czech Republic or the 33rd richest Czech.  It is quite possible to be both.

Not sure of the voice-over - I'd have gone with someone more upbeat sounding - less 1970s schools broadcasting.

Anyway, he owns a Bugatti Veyron and a Bugatti Chiron.

When would you drive the Veyron if you owned a Chiron?  Sell it.

This video shows him hitting 414kph on a German Autobahn - a feat that Radim keeps telling us was safe and legal.  He got Bugatti to check out the car and God to sort out the traffic and weather conditions.

It seems that the German Traffic authorities are not too happy though and are filing papers to prosecute him.  CarBuzz have this story (which I'd rather link to than The Sun who supposedly also have it) There is a potential for two years jailtime.

CarBuzz claim, "it's very likely the authorities want to make an example out of the Czech millionaire. While his behavior may be frowned upon in select social circles, it was still an unrestricted stretch of road. It will be interesting to see whether German prosecutors will successfully bring charges against the businessman and whether this may signal the end of the unrestricted Autobahn."

They say they hope not.  They don't say whether that's the bit about prosecuting Passer or the bit about ending derestricted roads.

It may well be both.

It was a very dangerous thing to do.  In his prayer at the end of the video Passer thanks God that they "didn't endanger themselves or anybody else on the road"

Except they DID endanger themselves and everybody else on the road - if you play Russian Roulette and don't kill yourself it doesn't mean you weren't endangered.

They were lucky.

They made an excellent video.

But I'm not convinced they were safe.

And I'm not convinced they were legal.

But I'm also not convinced that he will end up in the Slammer.

I think there will be a cheque though.

Flipping Vauxhalls!

I can only go on what I've read in this BBC story.

And I would normally be dead against the wanton damage of a car...

Unless done for entertainment purposes by Clarkson, May & Hammond...

But a jury have heard the full story and evidence so I'm fully behind the guy driving the telehandler here:

I'd never heard of a telehandler before but basically, a "telescopic handler" is a forklift which has a boom that can extend forwards and upwards from the vehicle.

Anyway, these two scrotes, at least one of whom is drunk, have suffered a double-puncture.

Unfortunate.

But in those circumstances, parking at the side of that road and asking for help would be the sensible thing to do.

NOT PARKING IN SOMEONE'S DRIVE AND THEN KICKING OFF AT HIM.

Both scrotes seem to have been filming the events so we can see what went on and I do think that it is reasonable that this went to Court given the damage to the car and the fact that one scrote was also upended.

It is also funny watching that one scrote kicking the telehandler reinforcing the fact that he isn't too bright.

The farmer driving the telehandler seems to have left it exactly where the Corsa driver should have left it in the first place - just a bit upside down.

I would just love to have heard the conversations with the roadside recovery people.

AA Man: "You just told us it had two punctures!  We're going to have to turn this the right way up. You don't know anyone round here with a telehandler do you?"