"Join us as we eviscerate this profoundly idiotic premise"

I've said it before, twice in fact, and now I appear to be saying it again:

I do like the writings of Ezra Dyer - the title of this Post is a sentence he so eloquently uses in this Car+Driver article today.

The title of the piece is

No, EVs Won't Make American Roads Look like Cuba's in 20 Years

It comes with a picture of some old cars in Cuba:

I may have deliberately chosen a bad example for the story there.

But it does sort of back up Ezra's case against a particular New York Times article that has irked him.  I think that I like The New York Times - I've never read it but they do enjoy attacking Donald Trump so that gets a big tick from me.

I would love to dissect his article dissecting the NY Times one but it makes much more sense to read his dissection first-hand by clicking on the C+D link above.  And, given that Ezra and I are both eminently sensible people, that is what you should do.

Enjoy.

Goblin Works Mod Shop

The latest series in the Goblin Works Garage franchise sees the Goblins modding cars for individuals with tired vehicles.  I haven't a clue how they are chosen or who provides the funding - they seem to have a budget of £10K for each one.

OK, it's going to be Discovery funding it.

But in the past, they've always claimed to be making money on their vehicles in a Gas Monkey sort of way - notice the similarities between GMG and GWG?

The GWG bit of the Discovery Website is here.

I have enjoyed the series so far - today I watched the episode where they turned this Mk.V Golf GTi belonging to "Joel from Camberley" from this:

into this:

Although you can't see the biggest change here in because Jimmy de Ville is stood in front of it.

Not only did they give the car Lambo-style scissor-doors (which was surprisingly easy - you can buy kits) but he also added, and this is the controversial bit, a "brushed aluminium with rivets" look for the doors breaking up the garish but attractive green triangly finish on the rest of the car.

It is the first time a car owner has admitted to not liking something on one of their mods.

The only irritating bit for me is the formulaic nature of the show.

1. Meet the car owner and the vehicle.
2. A Goblin takes the car for a test-drive.
3. Helen draws a picture of what they will be aiming for.
4. A Goblin or two goes out to research something that they will do to the car.
5. A Goblin goes somewhere with the car owner to get some ideas.
6. The Goblins have a three-way split video call to feed back what was discussed with the owner.
7. They get some bought-in parts and fit them.
8. (This is the really irritating bit) The owner phones whichever Goblin is in the workshop at the time to pretend they are missing their car and would like some clues as to what is happening with it).
9. The car gets wrapped.
10. The car gets finished off.
11. The Goblin from number 2 takes it out for another test-drive.
12. The car is returned to its owner.

Not a lot more to add except:

1. It all seems to be filmed in the original Wheeler Dealers workshop.
2. Rumours abound that Helen Stanley and Anthony Partridge are a couple.

Oooh!

Drivers Working From Home?

This has a very calm voice-over for a scary thing that is happening in Berlin right now.

Car+Driver alerted me to this one here.  It is called Vay, pronounced "Way".

It is a hail-and-ride system where the customer (like the lady in the video with a nice bottom) does the driving.

But the car gets to the customer by being driven remotely from what looks like a call-centre.

And when the customer has got to their destination, a remote driver takes it on to the next customer.

So many questions:

• What if the customer leaves it in the middle of a busy road?  The remote driver may not be ready to move it on.
• What if the remote driver fancies a bit of fun?  Can they take over control?
• Can the remote driver have a couple of beers first?
• What if the customer has a couple of beers first?  Or fancies a kip?  Can they ask the remote driver to take them all the way?
• Who are you supposed to vent your road-rage at when a remote driver cuts you up?

And finally, what happens when the remote driver is taking the vehicle at a reasonable speed along a busy main road and they see this?

The Long and Short of It.

I saw this in an Autocar Story today:

It looks like a cobbled-together in a shed, kit version of a Lamborghini LM002:

But it is actually a hell of a lot more than that.

It is an electric vehicle with a range-extender engine "built for expeditions as extreme and diverse as crossing the Antarctic or penetrating uncharted Amazon rainforests."

It's about the size of a Transit but very light weight with a high ground-clearance - it is called The Fering Pioneer.

This is the story.

It also has a bit of a Jeep Gladiator look about it...

...which I wouldn't have spotted if I hadn't read this Fox News story which talks about the best and worst cars for tall and short people.  Although Consumer Reports should get the credit for it.

You would think that convertibles would be best for tall drivers since there is infinite headroom.

Think again:

Shame about the number plate but I'm sure the Fox News viewers would appreciate it.

Apparently the second-best car for short drivers is the BMW 7-Series and the first-best car for tall drivers is the BMW 7-Series.

I think it just means it has very adjustable seats.

Wag-gone

I missed this Autocar piece last week.

But Car+Driver didn't - they did this piece on it today.

It is the rather depressing news that Mercedes-Benz’s chief operating officer, Markus Schäfer is predicting the end of the estate car.

And the main reason is the rise of the cross-over SUV:

Ugh.

I've owned two estates - one was even a Mercedes - I loved them both.

He also reckons cabrios could be on the way out.

The reason for this is two-fold:

• the Chinese aren't into them.
• electric ones would look naff because of battery location

Although he does say that vegan interiors won't completely replace leather.

Car+Driver point out for their American readership that by "estates" - we are talking about "wagons" - let's not bring "shooting-brakes" into this.

They also got Mercedes-Benz USA to give their take on the news:

"Station wagons, although occupying a specific niche, remain an important offering to one of our most loyal customer segments"

Their readership see it the same way as me and Mercedes-Benz USA:

Although one of those votes cast was me.

It's a shame that the vast majority of the World's car buyers aren't car fans.

#SaveTheWagons

Florida Man

There's this thing on The Internet whereby you put "Florida Man" and your birthday into Google and you get stories about idiots.

Florida Man makes Norfolk Man look normal.

If it is your birthday today you will find this Fox headline

Florida man's 'very unusual parking' job leads to DUI arrest

Here's the picture:

And here's the story.

I decided to put "Florida Man Car" into Google:

• Florida Man Drives Bizarre Chopped Car For An Unbelievable Reason
• Florida Man Steals Two Police Cars During Chase
• Florida man threw his two-month-old baby at police after high-speed car chase
• Florida man 'crashed car through airport gate before running into cockpit of Coast Guard plane'
• Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving 'footmobile'