Asda ASBO

 If Benny & Bjorn were called Steve & Dave, then this band would have been called "Asda":

That statement amused me when I read it on Facebook a few weeks ago.

This BBC story amused me when I read it during my lunchbreak today.  It is about a moron in Manchester who was disqualified from driving and wanted for an earlier failure to attend Court.  He bought a second-hand ambulance and took his family shopping in it with the blue lights going.

He was arrested.

As I see it, he made two big mistakes:

1. He should have driven there quietly.

2. He should have gone to Morrisons where it would have blended in in the car park.

Van Morrison River Dance

We are in middle of Storm Christophe.

Here in the North-West of England we have a lot of water - the BBC report it thusly.

They have a dramatic picture:

That is a Ford Ranger.

Unfortunately it is not a Ford Ranger Splash which I think were only available Stateside.

It is, however, a Ford Ranger splash.

If you have a Ford Ranger then you can confidently make a big splash.  More of a splash than was happening on my commute home this evening - but we still had to make a splash:

Apologies for the lack of sound, I guess I must have accidentally switched off the audio recording.

I was amazed that most of the other vehicle drivers didn't test their brakes after going through that.

They could have got into an accident - like the Morrisons van driver in this other story from BBC News today.

I always think that Morrisons vans look like UK ambulances:

So I tend to refer to them as Morrisons Ambulances.  The driver of the van in the story was taken to hospital although it sounds like it was precautionary rather than necessary.

He "had to be rescued from his overturned van after he careered off the road and ended up in a fast-flowing ford", police said.

The pictures are pretty dramatic so it looks like he was very lucky although how he ended up in there is a bit of a mystery - on the radio it said he was driving through the ford (in his Mercedes) but it was swollen and too deep.  The Web story talks about careering off the road and speculates about sat-navs.

In any case, I like Morrisons because they give me 10% off my shopping because I work for the NHS.

So I'll finish this post now without any of my usual comedic comments or puns despite the list of Van Morrison albums with very relevant titles.

 

Another Reason to Dislike Kia.

I'm probably being unfair but the image of Kia to me is the budget sibling of a budget brand (Hyundai) who make boring econoboxes.

Which is probably why they are rebranding.

I reported a couple of days ago about their new logo and the thoughts behind it.

Autocar have more news today.

I hate it when my boss uses the word "robust".

This is because I hate management speak.

So imagine how I feel when I read phrases like,

The Korean firm intends to “break away from its traditional manufacturing-driven business model”, instead expanding into “new and emerging business areas by creating innovative mobility products and services to improve customers’ daily lives”

and

the company will diversify into “eco friendly mobility services, centred on electric and autonomous driving across major global cities”

Ye Gods.

Now this is part of Kia’s long-term ‘Plan S’ strategy, which will see a focus on new dedicated electric vehicles - seven of which will be launched by 2027.

OK, seem reasonable.  The first will be a coupe-crossover.

Another bloody coupe-crossover!!

The preview shots (useless pictures of some vehicles in a hangar during a power cut) show a number of what Kia calls “Purpose-Built Vehicles” (PBVs)

PBVs!!

I already hate SUVs - now I've got to hate PBVs!

Meanwhile, over in America, the big news is, "Kia Sedona Minivan Could Be Renamed Carnival for 2022"

I guess the rebrand has begun.

Going Logo

 Last week, Kia launched their new logo.  They used drones and fireworks and set a new record for something or other to do with drones or fireworks:

It doesn't look that good as a logo to me - although the old oval one was pretty nondescript so I suppose it is an improvement.

And it looks better in black than in firework.

Meanwhile, Autoguide today point out that GM have done the same - no fireworks or drones but they have done the new-logo thing:

Autoguide want us to discuss which of the new GM & Kia changes is the best - they say, "Which of these two redesigns do you think is more successful? Sound off in the comments."

Nobody has - I thought I was the only car-related author that nobody ever comments on.

You have to be careful with logos though - I used to deal with telecoms company ntl: who used this logo:

If you ignore the "n" and tip it on its end you get a pig on a skateboard.

If you tip the new GM one on its end, you get an elephant looking over a fence it is sat next to.

Sparking Back Into Life

Autocar have this story today.  It is disguised as a article about whether or not it is right to take the beating heart (or internal combustion engine) out of a classic car and replace it with an electric motor.   It seems to be more of an advert for Kit Lacey's eDub Services who do just that.

As do Jack's Garage in the shadow of Grenfell Tower who Autocar told us about in December 2019.

Although eDub will let you rent one of theirs for a week:

The Jack's Garage story was just after Autocar told us that "EV conversions slammed by classic car experts"

But, then again, Michael Gove had already told us that we'd had enough of experts.  He then went on to tell us to listen to the experts on Coronavirus.

Anyway, these particular experts are The Fédération Internationale des Véhicules Anciens (FIVA) who issued a statement, stating that it

“cannot promote, to owners or regulators, the use of modern EV components to replace a historic vehicle’s drivetrain”.

eDub are offering to box up the original engine so that it can be re-installed if it is so desired.

I'd have thought that this way, more classics would end up on the road - and in a more eco-friendly way.  Nobody is going to do this with all of the existing classics so the more the merrier. And more must be getting merrier as more and more operations set up to do this exact job.

Over in Wales (or over on Quest) is another example - Richard "Moggy" Morgan of Electric Classic Cars in Newtown is shown on Quest and the series returns this Thursday:

Not sure of their scheduling, they seemed to show half of the series then stop it.

But now it's back.

Well, they are plugging it. (plug! geddit!?)