Crash Course Car

It's not the first time I've reported an unsafe safety car.

But unlike in that instance, this was an experienced Safety Car driver (and ex DTM driver)

He's somewhat damaged this Aston Martin Vantage Course Car...

...rather spectacularly:

Doesn't look like a mechanical failure so just an embarrassing one.

Nobody was hurt.

In 100 years time, will this be a vintage Vantage?

Being Zippy...

 

...but not being annoying.

Because, let's face it, Zippy was pretty annoying.

Not wet like George.

But if Donald Trump were a pre-school TV personality, he would be Zippy.

(or am I being unkind to Zippy?)

Anyway, zipping into traffic is the non-annoying thing to do.

Look at this story from Auto Express today explaining how we should be using what lots of countries call  "The Zipper Manoeuvre" when two lanes merge into one.

Even The Highway Code tells us to do it.

The trouble is, while out in their cars, our continental cousins view themselves as "the traffic", whereas us Brits see ourselves as individuals battling against all of the other inferior drivers.  That is why Smart Motorways were never going to work in Britain.

Not me, of course - although I do witness a huge number of inferior drivers every day on the M53.

Strange that.

At Junction 5 heading South, the M53 goes from three lanes down to two.  It is well signposted that it is going to happen but there is no signage about how to deal with it.

So, a fair distance before it actually happens, everyone gets into the two left hand lanes apart from a very small number of drivers who tear down lane 3 until the last minute.  Sometimes they are allowed to merge in and sometimes they encounter a stubborn group of people staring straight ahead while attempting to keep 5cm from the rear bumper of the vehicle ahead.

This means that the ones getting most annoyed are actually those driving in the most annoying way.

And the ones doing the annoying are right.

So the others should just zip it.

Cross about fines

Four different motoring stories have appeared at the front of the BBC News Website today.

The first one (link here) is basically a non-story but it probably got there because it is about London.  Although, having said that, the victims weren't from London.  Basically, the ANPR cameras used at the Dartford Crossing were sometimes providing blurred images which meant that the number plates were being mis-read and fines for non-payment were being sent out to people who hadn't driven through it.

It got Vs and Ys mixed up and Cs and Gs and Os and Ds.

I should be worried as Y, G and O all appear in my registration number.

But given we are talking a small number of mistakes out of 55 million journeys, I won't be shelling out for a private plate just yet.

Then again, given the technology used, surely they could tell if a number plate didn't match the vehicle on the photo and then give those few cases to a human being to manually check.  In the case of one complainant - a woman who fell victim of the C & G scenario, the BBC state that:

 "The vehicle pictured was remarkably similar to hers, a silver Honda Jazz, while Eleanor drives a silver Honda CRG"

No she doesn't.  There's no such thing.

She might drive a Honda CRV - she looks like she might.  But I thought you were supposed to get Vs mixed up with Ys not with Gs.

Anyway, here's a silver Honda Jazz.

and here's a much larger silver CRV...

Not seeing a remarkable similarity myself.

Story number 2 involves learner drivers who are fed up with waiting times, so they are booking practical tests through brokers who block-book and re-sell the tests for hundreds of pounds.

My local Test Centre, according to their story, has a wait if 9.5 weeks, or 2 months in real money.

Quite a few centres though have a wait of 24 weeks, or 4 months.

"The test time, location and provisional licence number can be changed at any time, making it easy to rebook or re-sell driving test slots."

Right, well there's the solution - the provisional licence number should be fixed on booking - no changes, only refunds - problem solved.

Story number 3 involves the exploitation of a Nissan Micra with a failed rear axle.

As Frankie Howerd used to say, "Don't mock the afflicted!"

But Banksy has done just that with his take on the Suzuki Jimny spare wheel cover.

I've just taken a stroll down that road on Google StreetView and it's a public road so I hope that car is taxed or it could get towed and then you'd be left with a rhino in mid-jump.

I suppose then it could become a photo opportunity for people to park their own vehicle, wheelie-bin, pram, wife etc. there.

And the fourth story is a boring one about potholes.  Although Alan from Macclesfield has climbed into one which makes a change from the usual photos of local Tory councillors pointing at one.

Also Not A1

Unlike Monday's story, this is not about the A1.

Although it does involve cameras.

But not BBC ones.

No, this is about AI - which depending on your font, will look like A1.

This is about the Auto Express story about old enemies Devon and Cornwall (scone debate anyone?) getting together to use AI to view camera footage and catch drivers using mobile phones illegally.

I'm all for this - mainly because I never use a hand-held mobile phone while driving.

Now I just need a motoring story in a day or two about someone called Al.