MG Midget

Just as I mentioned in my previous post, I hate brands cashing in on premium names to flog crappy EVs.

But this story is about cashing in on a premium brand to flog a crappy EV.

Apparently, the MG Comet EV "takes aim at the BYD Seagull, Citroën Ami and Wuling Hongguang Mini EV with £7800 price tag"

The what now?

Here is the MG Comet:

And here is the Autocar story.

I've looked up the Wuling Hongguang Mini EV and it looks as horrific as the MG and the Citroen.  The BYD Seagull looks like a sizeable, sporty, attractive bit of kit.

But only when compared to the MG Comet, Citroën Ami and Wuling Hongguang Mini EV.

And the "£7800 price tag" is somewhat misleading as it actually is on sale for ₹798,000.

That's Rupees - it's only going to India.

It features anti-lock brakes but I suspect it doesn't go fast enough to need them.

It also features a reversing camera and parking sensors for some strange reason.

I don't like this "car".

Small wonder.

George Michael Impersonator

Two different BBC car stories caught my eye today.

Ford have launched a car that can be driven hands-free on British motorways.

WHY!?

OK, so I suppose you  have to start somewhere - but not with this.

Apparently, you have to keep your eyes on the road ahead and "the driver is not permitted to use their mobile, fall asleep or conduct any activity that takes attention away from the road."

So what is the point?

Plus, this is a Ford Mustang Mach e that has a maximum speed of 80mph.

DON'T CALL SOMETHING THAT CAN ONLY DO 80MPH A MUSTANG!

I hate the way Ford are reusing classic car names on horrible SUVs - I'm looking at you, Ford Puma.

I don't normally like the comments under BBC stories - the ones I usually read tend to be full of angry Gammons still trying to defend Brexit.  But this one is lots of angry Gammons and angry non-gammons coming up with more and more reasons why this won't work in Britain.  Smart Motorways being a good one - this car is supposed to safely grind to a halt if the driver loses interest in the road ahead - you will have cars stopping all over the place on warm, Summer afternoons.

And will Police have to check whether or not it is the right age of Mustang when they see a driver doing jazz-hands while travelling at 70mph down the M6? And that his hands-free subscription is up to date?

Yes, you need to subscribe to this hands-free driving lark as well!

So why have I called this post, "George Michael Impersonator?"

Ah, well that's because of my second BBC story which combines my love of cars with my love of Swansea City Football Club.  Danny Graham made 54 appearances for us. This includes when we were in the Premier League, so I don't know why we are only a sub-note in the story of him crashing an expensive Jaguar-Land-Rover vehicle into a Co-op in County Durham:

Whilst over the limit.

I wonder if his hands were on the wheel at the time?

Car Bling Red Label

 Remember when gold credit cards were a big thing?

Then platinum ones came out and then black ones.

Similarly, all top car manufacturers had, and generally still have, their "black" editions.

Top of the heap, sporty specials.

Now according to my favourite Aussie car site, Red is the new Black.

Welcome to the BMW XM Label Red:

Unfortunately, prices start at about £185,000.

And I keep getting the phrase "lipstick on a pig" in my head.

Plus it insults the name of a lovely-looking Citroen.

But, since red is now higher than black, I now know what I will have to apply for next:

Should be popular with referees too.

Did they mistake Bonnie Tyler on the radio for their sat-nav?

Turn around bright eyes.

Although bright isn't really a word you could use about this Audi driver in the Birkenhead Tunnel.

The story (and dashcam footage) is here in The Wirral Globe.

They were heading toward Birkenhead when they turned around so maybe they didn't fancy paying the toll.  If they had been travelling in the opposite direction, they would have had to pay twice.

I did wonder if it was an April Fools story but the story was out yesterday and the incident happened on March 25th so the Tunnels Police can't be too bright either.  They only just seem to have acknowledged that it happened.

It's a heartache.