8 Things you might have needed to know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you hadn't already watched it

This Drivetribe article is pointless.  It's called "8 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT" but it is written by somebody who has just watched it.

Anyone who may be interested in this article would be watching the show rather than reading the article.

Which is why the article actually told me 8 things I already knew about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT.

Here are a couple of other things that you will already know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you have watched it:

9. There was a clever bit of animation added to a "Falling Rocks" sign on the road around Reunion.

10.  Jeremy used the show to reinforce his anti-Brexit views including using a European flag to start the drag race and describing the third world conditions in a run-down bit of Madagascar as life outside the EU.  I tried to get a photo of the drag race start but if you put "Drag Race" into Google, you get pictures of men dressed up as grotesque caricatures of women.  This was the best Drag Race photo I could find:

11.  They didn't use new cars.  Good job really.

12.  Convertibles are often called "Spiders" (or "Spyders" if you are Alfa Romeo).  James' Caterham covered in mud and excrement really looked like a spider:

I hope you found it useful to read these four more things you might have needed to know about THE GRAND TOUR: A MASSIVE HUNT if you hadn't already watched it.

Or, if you don't have access to Amazon Prime, Oops, sorry!

I Fancy Tina Fey

 

Who wouldn't?

Well, I suppose a homosexual gentleman might not.  Although I have two gay friends who don't know each other and both fancy Kate Bush so who knows?

But that isn't what this post is about.

Women always claim to be attracted to men with a sense of humour.

I don't believe that.  I'm always considered my self quite funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word not the "peculiar" sense of the word) but women have never thrown themselves at me.

Now, while it is possible that I am not funny (in the "ha ha" sense of the word), I really don't wish to countenance that idea.

Besides, I've noticed that women actually tend to go for tall, handsome men, irrespective of sense of humour.

I, on the other hand, generally find myself fancying women who are in to their cars - Vicki Butler-Henderson, Sabine Schmitz, Jodie Kidd and, more recently, Helen Stanley:

I would even forgive the tattoos.

I do also fancy Nigella Lawson but of you type "Nigella Lawson car" into Google, it wants to take you to "Nigella Lawson carrot cake"

Don't put vegetables into cakes!

Anyway, to finally get to the point, Tina Fey has finally bought her first car. Car+Driver have the story under the annoying headline:

Tina Fey Bought Her First Car during Lockdown, and It Might Surprise You

Normally I wouldn't touch a story like that because it would be some crap piece of click-bait but I like Car+Driver, I like Tina Fey and I like cars.

The gist of the story is that she bought a white Subaru Forrester - a fine enough car that I have no strong views about one way or another but I suppose it is a bit boring.

I was more shocked by Jimmy Fallon's admission that he had never heard of it.

Car+Driver misquote her a bit saying "her husband urged her to buy something fun, like a Mini Cooper or a Jeep (this is the point in the interview when it becomes clear that the Fey household is an expert-free zone when it comes to car shopping)"

According to Tina, her husband suggested "a Mini Cooper or something exciting like a Jeep or a BMW or something" I suppose a Jeep could be exciting depending in where you take it and some BMWs are certainly exciting but I think I'd have suggested a Ferrari or Aston Martin.

But she isn't a car person.

And yet I still fancy her.

I think it could be that she is a very funny lady (in the "ha ha" sense of the word)

The Green Flash

Remember October last year when I told you about green number plates?

Of course you do.

Well, as of today they are a thing. Autocar have the story - not seen it anywhere else.  The Government have plumped for this design:

Basically, just a green flash.

"But, what is the point?" I hear you ask.

Good question.

Well, they signify zero emission (aka electric) vehicles.  And, "Research carried out by Nissan and Yougov claims that 32% of people surveyed would be more likely to buy an electric car because of the new plates, and the prospect of further incentives to be rolled out as a result. This could include specific zero-emission parking zones, exemption from road charges and even zero-emission lanes."

What?

"Research carried out by Nissan and Yougov claims that 32% of people surveyed would be more likely to buy an electric car because of the new plates, and the prospect of further incentives to be rolled out as a result. This could include specific zero-emission parking zones, exemption from road charges and even zero-emission lanes."

I know but I'm still not convinced.

Anyway, being Welsh, I've always fancied one of these perfectly legal plates:

Would that entitle me to half-price road charges and to use half of the zero emission parking bays and lanes?

The biggest flaw in this plan though, is that there is nothing to stop you getting some green sticky paper and turning your diesel Volkswagen into something getting the benefits of a Renault Zoe.

And, after December 31st, the rather dim readers of the painfully sycophantic Daily Express will know exactly where to stick them:

Pot a Willock

 I mean "What a Pillock!"

This is Joe Willock:

Now, obviously I'm quite jealous of him - he is just 21 and he can afford to buy and wreck a new G-Wagen - that is why I've deliberately picked a photo of him looking gormless.

Here he is wrecking a new G-Wagen:

He was supposedly on the way to training so must be familiar with that roundabout.

So why be in completely the wrong lane and driving so fast?

What a pillock!

Talking of pillocks, this motorbikist on the M53 this week seems to think that the hard shoulder is a narrow lane for motorbikists.

Talking of that stretch of the M53, Here is me overtaking an emergency vehicle on blues and twos:

And finally, somebody going through a red light when it's harder not to:

What a pillock!