Colour Me Bad

If you've facelifted and relaunched a boring SUV that looks a bit tank-shaped.

Don't paint it in military green!

The new Audi Q5, as in this story, looks like it should be towing a big green piece of artillery on wheels.

 

Now, if you've relaunched a very unboring SUV - one with a military history, it would look pretty good in military green.  It also looks good in this harking-back-to-the colours-Land-Rovers-ought-to-be shade of blue:

Especially with those wheels.

 

That story is here.

 

Now, I've felt a bit indifferent about the new Defender.  It is very expensive as a farm vehicle or general utilitarian dogsbody vehicle - but then again, farm vehicles and general utilitarian dogsbody vehicles wouldn't sell in big enough numbers nowadays to be viable.

 

Which is why we have an expensive Defender that will sell to whatever Yuppies are called these days.

 

This one being described today is the commercial version which is coming soon but not here yet.  It will be about £35K + VAT (VAT which you claim back if you are actually using it as a commercial vehicle)  It lacks the second row of seats - but not the second row of doors and you can add an extra seat on the front row if you wish to get cosy with your colleagues.

 

Unlike with the Audi, I'm looking forward to see the green one - here's a clue:

Talladega Not As Racist Way

I was always going to do a follow-up to yesterday's post.

But it was going to be how Scalextric wouldn't be able to sell my favourite car from my childhood any more:

That is, of course, The General Lee - named after a Confederate hero and sporting a Confederate flag on the roof.

 

Not that I understood the significance of that when I was 12.

 

But they stopped selling that a few years back - now they are advertising the Pratmobile and the Reliant van from Only Fools and Horses: 

Which is all now a complete digression from the news that while some NASCAR fans are still racist, they didn't actually go as far as putting a noose in Bubba Wallace's garage.

 

Apparently, it was a door pull rope "twisted into the shape of a noose" - the new story (or noose story) is here.  It doesn't say who twisted it into the shape of a noose.  Or why.  Or when - but it was probably months ago.  I bet the pit crew team member who found it on Sunday feels a bit of a prat right now.  I wonder if he drives a green Capri.

 

Unless this whole door pull story is because someone important left the noose there?

 

No, I'm not one for conspiracy theories and neither are the FBI:

Talladega Racist Way

Speaking as a fairly ignorant white bloke, I still understand what "Black lives Matter" means.

It doesn't mean that all lives don't matter and it doesn't mean that white lives don't matter.

It means that there are still a significant number of white, lowlife scum who think that black lives don't matter.  You may have detected from my tone that I have no time for such people.  I also get irritated by people who don't understand #BLM putting up messages stating that "All Lives Matter" on their Facebook accounts not because they are particularly racist but because they don't get what #BLM is about.

I was impressed by NASCAR the other week, banning the Confederate flag from the race meetings stating it was “contrary to our commitment to providing a welcoming and inclusive environment for all fans, our competitors and our industry.”

Remember that NASCAR was born out of the Southern States and Moonshine and the attitudes that prevailed down there.  A lot of the fans were not happy - as reported in this NY Times article.  And one toerag got a plane in the air with a large flag flying behind it and the caption "Defund NASCAR"

There was a similar event here last night as the footballers of Burnley FC and Manchester City took the knee to show respect and solidarity with the #BLM Movement, a small plane was heard flying overhead - it was towing a banner declaring that "White Lives Matter".  The company that owns the plane and made the banner have been identified and suspended from working at the airport they flew from and, as far as I'm concerned, can go bust but, apparently they haven't broken the law.  I suppose that saying that "White lives matter" isn't illegal - I happen to think that white lives matter too - but white lives are not under threat every day in the same way that black ones are.

They must have known, however, that they were inciting racial hatred?

Anyway, back to the States and NASCAR - the whole story took another sinister turn on Sunday, when a noose was found in the pit garage of the only African-American participant, Bubba Wallace:

The follow-up, as reported by Car+Driver is that all of NASCAR is backing him.  Good.  Although, given who had access, the guilty party could well be a member of staff at the raceway or of one of the teams.  The FBI are on the case.

Anyway, I'm with NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt, Jr. who simply said,

"Hope Bubba wins it tomorrow."

A Legend?

Don't think style-conscious Barney Stinson would be impressed with the Mulholland Legend 480.

 

The latest Top Gear Magazine plopped through my letterbox this morning and, as with all other issues of it recently, around about page 19, they do a "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly" feature on some car that has featured on their Website.  Here is the link to this month's choice.

 

Normally, I think it is a bit unfair that that you only have one positive element (The Good obviously) and two negative elements - The Bad and The Ugly.

 

But this month it looks like they have really struggled to find positive comments.

 

The car itself is the Mulholland Legend 480.  Nope.  You, me and Top Gear had never heard of them.  They are based in Derby and hoping to be the "true successor to TVR" although, since TVR themselves are trying to be the successor to TVR, there could be trouble ahead.

 

The rear view does have a sort of TVR-ish feel:

But the front view!

One commenter, who they put in the "Good" section because they were desperate said,

"Looks a bit Nissan-y"

 

I think it looks A LOT Nissan-y:

What do you think, Barney?

Running Amok, Ah!

You'd never catch me running a Mokka.

Lot's of people do - these are people who have given up on any thoughts of enjoying driving.

I may have just mentioned once or thrice how I hate SUVs - but I accept that they are here to stay.

And Vauxhall are trying to make the new version of the Mokka more exciting.  This is called the Vauxhall Vizor:

Note the exciting spelling - which I initially misread as Vauxhall Victor.  It was Ford Ecosport/Ford Escort all over again.  Anyway, the new Mokka is getting that "Vizor" front which is claimed to be inspired by the Vauxhall Firenza: 

Hopefully not one about to be crashed in to by a Mini Rally Car.  Autocar have the story.

They don't say what will be happening with the Opel Mokka - presumably they will need a pretentious corruption of a German word for the front end of that.

This is supposedly going to feature on all Vauxhalls throughout the 2020s - it may actually look good on an Astra or Insignia - and feel truer to the Firenza philosophy but in the meantime, don't Mokka the afflicted.