Merry Twixtmas

That's not a time for eating Twixes,

It is the time betwixt Christmas and New Year.

So here are a couple of nice videos to enjoy.

The first was what Americans were enjoying in the 1980s  which I can thank Car+Driver for pointing out.


The second is what we were enjoying in the UK at about the same time.  Probably not the first time I've linked to it - but it is one of my all-time favourite car ads thanks to getting Brian May on board.

So THAT'S Where the Line is.

After the previous episode of The Grand Tour, I was a little surprised that there hadn't been any complaints about the sex-toy content of it.

Now we have some - only it is from the next episode and they are about Richard Hammond making a comment about how if a man eats an ice-cream - he is probably gay.

There has been a "back-lash".

I'm not on Twitter so I didn't notice it.

The BBC did.  But they were probably more miffed at his little dig about slowing down when he drove a Mustang past The Cenotaph.  The rest of the media also noticed it though, right from The Independent through to the Daily Fail.

The last time Hammond was in trouble was when he insulted the Mexicans - but that soon blew over when they realised HE WAS ONLY JOKING.

Just like in this case.

We all know Jeremy and Co. thrive on controversy - I'm surprised nothing has come up before this during the last two years of filming.  But the people making the most noise about this one seem to be those who don't know the show and certainly don't watch the show.  It's like Russell Brand, the Mexicans and every other Clarkson incident before and since.  I don't complain when Katie Hopkins spouts her latest piece of attention-seeking bile in The Sun - because I wouldn't touch it.  So she can say what she likes to people gullible enough to believe what it says in there.   If she does start to pollute things I would watch or read, then I would complain.

But let's do a quick unscientific experiment to see if eating an ice-cream:

- specifically a Magnum like they were talking about - could be construed as homosexual behaviour.  I shall use Google Images Search.

There are plenty of pictures of sexy women with Magnums, what if you look for "Man eating Magnum".  This is the first picture you get:

 Well, he doesn't look particularly gay, here is the second picture:

 

OK, well here is a Vauxhall Magnum, does that look gay?

 

No, of course it doesn't.  And neither does this picture of Magnum PI.

 

 

Not For The Children

I thought there would have been some complaints.

Clarkson and the boys messing about with sex toys.

It's not aimed at children but I know lots enjoy watching the show.  It's a safe bet that if it had been on the BBC, there would have been at least six phone calls and the media would have gone loopy.

I don't believe that "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells" has an Amazon Prime subscription.

I suppose they might get one now they have read about it in The Sunday Express.  But then they won't know who they can complain to.  And they do enjoy a good moan.  The Express themselves were quite positive about the show although their readers don't seem to like it judging by the comments at the end of the article.

But that's Express readers for you.

The Telegraph were unusually favourable about the show too.  Maybe because they didn't let their Dance Correspondent write their review this week.

I did notice that the audience didn't get Jeremy's "Pass The Dutchie" joke en route to exploding his sex doll.  Possibly Musical Youth were not big in The Netherlands.

Talking of fake people you can use in High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes...

This BBC story amused me about police in New York State breaking in to a car after reports of an old lady being frozen to death left in a car overnight in minus temperatures.

It turned out to be a very realistic mannequin used for medical training pruposes - at least that's what the owner claimed it was for.  He was not best pleased.

"It is my understanding that the owner was incredulous that we took action in this matter," police chief L Edward Moore said in a statement. "He apparently was quite vocal and vulgar to my sergeant."

I did have a litttle sympathy for the owner.  But then again, why strap the mannequin in to the passenger seat as though it was a real person?  But then again again, I imagine the police would get called out more often if he was seen regularly stuffing an old lady into the boot of his car.


I do though, particularly like Chief Moore's message for mannequin owners:

"Just to clear the record, all citizens of Hudson should be put on notice that if you park your locked vehicle on the street on a sub-zero night with a life-size realistic mannequin seated in it... we will break your window."

The Posh Pronunciation of Porsche

Or at least, the correct version:

I've always pronounced it that way anyway, but, as Car+Driver suggest, maybe this is aimed at the Americans.

Now to teach them how to say Hyundai and Jaguar.

And Nissan.

Click Here for Free Money

There's a stretch of road in South Manchester that runs parallel to the rail tracks between Brooklands Station & Sale Station.

I once raced a tram up it.

And won.

If I'd received this email shortly afterwards I might have been worried...

...for a fraction of a second.

You don't get speeding tickets via email.

Plus, who's ever heard of a 25mph speed limit in the UK?

I'm quite intrigued by how these scammers are targetting their victims though - do they have a list of email addresses for the Sale area?  Or do they just send them out randomly knowing that someone will click on the link so that they can prove that they were actually in Dundee at the time of the alleged offence?

I learned about this one because I follow the brilliant Hoax-Slayer Website via Facebook.

Specifically, here is their take on this scam.

Now, talking of Facebook scams...

• Nobody is giving away a new Range-Rover, Christmas Hamper or R.V. - look up like-farming on Hoax-Slayer.
• No Muslim shop assistant has ever refused to serve anyone in uniform - these are lies made up by right-wing morons such as Britains First.
• 95% of people won't fail to name a band with an "A" in their name - unless the listeners to Radio W-SNOT in Boston are particularly thick.
• You are not a genius if you can answer 9 out of 10 questions.
• Clicking on a particular link won't make your jaw drop.

If any Facebook article tells me to share it - I never do.

By the way, if you've asked me to post something to my time-line for an hour - I did that, it's just you didn't happen to be logged in during that hour. And we all know which people will do that - they are the ones with true hearts / are true friends / really care etc.etc.

So next time, you read something unbelievable on Facebook, don't believe it - check it out! 

Unless it's Nigerian money-laundering.  Those are real.

Flat Out

...which is something you can't be when there are sleeping policemen around.

And when I say "sleeping policemen" - I mean speed humps and speed bumps.

This is the type I encounter the most:

 

Having a decent sized car, I can generally straddle the bump with minimal disturbance.

So I don't tend to slow down so I don't cause extra pollution.

Aren't I a good citizen?

The BBC are carrying this story today about how Councils are being urged to redesign their humps and bumps to reduce the extra pollution they are causing.

Nobody is actually saying how though.  Surely the pollution problem is due to people driving slower then quicker then slower again?

But isn't the whole point of the speed bumps to get people driving slower?

The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) said "smooth" driving would cut air pollution, linked to 25,000 deaths a year in England. 507 pedestrians or cyclists were killed in the whole of Britain's roads in 2013 so the removal of speed bumps must be a no-brainer!  Amazing what you can prove with statistics.

I'd rather that the Councils spent their speed bump budgets on fixing pot-holes - that way, money would be going on preventing further damage to car suspension rather than causing it.

Meanwhile, I don't believe that this is an undoctored picture: