I Don't Want a Porsche

If you were offering to give me one, I wouldn't say no. And I don't dislike Porsches - in fact I quite like some of them. In fact I quite like a lot of them.

But I've never really wanted one.

I've always been a bit scared of the 911 with its engine-sticking-out-the-back-which-really-screws-with-the-handling design which was fine for the Beetle but dodgy for anything that can achieve motorway speeds. Now I know that Porsche have added loads of stability trickery and suspension cleverness over the last 150 years that the 911 has been evolving and it is allegedly a lot tamer and safer to drive nowadays but why not just move the engine?

I have never liked the Boxster - it looks like two fronts of the same car welded back-to-back. Especially the early ones - especially with the hood up.

Yuk!

The Cayenne is just an SUV with a 911 front and the Panamera looks like a 911 stretched-limo.

So, if I was forced to pick - I'd go for the Cayman - the halfway-house between the Boxster and the 911. It looks good - it looks fun - and the engine is in a sensible mid position.

Top Gear Magazine and most of the motoring websites have been making a fuss of the new 2014 (what happened to 2013!?) Cayman as presented at the LA Auto Show lately. Here's the story from my favourite site. It includes a video presented by a Loyd Grossman soundalike.

OK, so maybe, just maybe, I nearly want a Porsche.

Deer, Oh Dear!

This is a couple of stories from America.

I'll get the "Oh Dear!" bit over with first because that is the saddest bit.

This is a corruption of a Smart Car on display at the The L.A.Auto Show.

It is called the Smart forjeremy. The story is in Car+Driver here.

Unfortunately, the Jeremy it is for is not Jeremy Clarkson - I would truly love to see his take on a Smart. No, this Jeremy is Jeremy Scott - a fashion designer I have never heard of who has designed fashion for people I have heard of - like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Apparently, those things at the back that make it look like an Indian Chief's head-dress are supposed to be wings.

They light up.

Oh yes, and the car is electric-powered.

Anyhoo. The better story from The States today is from Fox and is about this device - no, it's not a see-through i-Phone, it's a deer deterrent called "The Deer Deter". So why would you want to deter a deer - they're quite cute aren't they?

Indeed they are, but if you were a highway with fast moving traffic going along you, you wouldn't want these cute creatures getting splattered and generally causing accidents by wandering onto your tarmac when there's a car coming now would you?

Of course you wouldn't. So you put these up along the roadside and when they are activated by a passing vehicle's headlights, they emit a noise and strobe effect that stops the deer in its tracks until the vehicle has passed.

Oh yes, and the Deer Deter is electric-powered. Solar in fact. The noise is harmless and also means it will alert blind deer.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?


NO IDEA!